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The Never Ending Saga of Stabby Fucking Einstein

July 6, 2018

Please Rise and Salute The Flag of the Great State of Arizona and then Salute Kirk Nurmi For His Testicles Finally Dropping.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IN THE COURT OF APPEALS STATE OF ARIZONA DIVISION ONE

STATE OF ARIZONA, No. 1 CA-CR 15-0302 Appellee, v. JODI ANN ARIAS, Appellant. Maricopa County Superior Court No. CR-2008-031021-001 DT

APPELLANT’S OPENING BRIEF

MARICOPA COUNTY PUBLIC DEFENDER

Deputy Public Defenders Downtown Justice Center 620 West Jackson, Suite 4015 Phoenix, Arizona 85003 Telephone (602) 506-7711 ACE@mail.maricopa.gov Attorneys for APPELLANT

Not a Judge Sherry Stephens and Totally Should be a Judge Kelly McFadden Presiding

Ladies and Gentlemen we are going to start with some off the record housekeeping matters. Firstly Stabby’s Pencil is still out on mental health leave so Stabby will be afforded a crayon. If anyone hears any shrieks of laughter up and down the hallway it is just Kirk Nurmi and it should be ignored. We get it Kirk and the neener neener was probably not necessary. The vet, a box of good boy treats and the tranquilizer gun have all been placed on stand by. Totally should be a Judge Kelly will be working most of the first part of what we are all sure is going to be an overly dramatic and way to long appeals process.

The Repellant er I mean Appellant has made several million assertions in her opening (good god is this really just the opening) brief which we will of course have to cover. Pretoria was polite enough to forward all unused puke buckets and they are located at the ends of the aisles for your convenience. As the law dictates you are allowed and encouraged to ask any questioned of the lying ho, sorry I mean appellant that you feel are pertinent. Okay I think we are ready to go so I will hand things off to Totally should be a judge Kelly.

Good afternoon everyone. I have been handed a note that the citizens of earth would like to just go ahead and apologize now that you have to be here. Thank you citizens, we accept your apology.

So lets deal with this shit. Firstly I am going to have to cover exactly what an appeals process entails.

For your edification : Appeal: A request to a higher court to review the lower court’s proceedings and outcome. The defendant argues that the lower court violated his or her rights in some way that warrants getting a new trial or a reduced sentence. Direct Appeal: Filed with the Arizona Court of Appeals. In death penalty cases, the direct appeal is filed with the Arizona Supreme Court. Opening Brief: A written document in which arguments are presented that the defendant’s conviction or sentence is improper and should be reversed.

What we are dealing with today believe it or not is just the opening brief. All 5 million pages of it. Seriously could she have crammed any more stuff in this thing? Jesus H Christ the only thing missing is the chorus from O Holy Night.

Since there is so much garbage to get through I am breaking it up into parts and this is what we are starting with. My answers to statements will be in italics.

STATEMENT OF THE CASE

1

The state indicted appellant, Jodi Ann Arias, for the murder of her boyfriend, T.A. (Instrument 1, hereinafter I.). The state charged her with first degree premeditated murder or in the alternative, felony murder. This is a factual statement that actually happened.

On October 31, 2008, the state made notice of its intention to seek the death penalty. (I. 32-33). On August 7, 2009, the court held a Chronis hearing and found that the state presented probable cause to support one aggravating factor: the crime was committed in an especially cruel manner. (ME 8-10-09). The parties could not settle after a settlement conference. (RT 7-5-11, pp. 2-58). They conducted a second settlement conference before the retrial, which was also unsuccessful. (ME 10-24-13). If this is part of her appeal you will have to excuse me while I bang my head off of the keyboard. aoehtaefhsd. Her idea of a settlement was 10 years for basically killing the man 3 times.

Stabby’s trial began December 10, 2012, with

jury selection. (RT 12-10-12, p. 12). The jury found Arias guilty of first degree murder on May 8, 2013. (RT 5-8-13, p. 11). The aggravation phase began May 15, 2013. (RT 5-15-13, p. 4). The state sought to prove one aggravator, the killing was done in an especially cruel manner.

 

, p. 9). At the conclusion of the aggravation phase, the jury found that the state proved this aggravating factor. \

Please note there may be a slight discrepancy in the cites to the record depending on whether one is referring to the electronic version of the transcripts or the hard copy of the transcripts.

 

2 The penalty phase began May 16, 2013. (RT 5-16-13, p. 53). It concluded on May 23, 2013, when the jury could not agree on life or death. (RT 5-23-13, p. 8). The court declared a mistrial. (I. 1154; RT 5-23-13, p. 10). The defense argued a Motion for Mistrial on May 20, 2013. (RT 5-20-13 #1, pp. 9-18). The court denied that motion. Because there was no reason for a mistrial.

, p. 18). The defense filed a Motion to Vacate the Aggravation Phase verdict pursuant to Rule 24.2. (I. 1174). The court denied that motion. (ME 8-9-13).

Arias’s retrial began September 29, 2014. Once again, the jury could not

agree on a sentence. (I. 2058; RT 3-5-15, p. 6). The court declared a mistrial.

The court sentenced Arias to natural life. (RT 4-13-15, p. 56). The parties stipulated to the amount of restitution. (ME 6-22-15). Arias filed a timely Notice of Appeal. (I. 2083). This Court has jurisdiction pursuant to Article 6, § 9 of the Arizona Constitution, and A.R.S. §§ 12-120.21 (A) (1), 13-4031 and 13-4033 (A).

3

FACTS (Oh this should be good)

This appeal is about Jodi Arias and T.A., whose lives were bound together by secrets. Arias grew up in northern California. (RT 2-4-13 #1, pp. 101-102; 116; 122). Stabby’s  parents abused her physically. (facts not in evidence)

, pp. 101; 104-108). She moved out when she was seventeen years old. (

, pp. 122-125). Arias left school and worked as a waitress. (

 

, pp. 122; 125). She supported herself. (when she wasn’t mooching off of whatever guy she had entranced with her slutty ways)

, pp. 125; RT 2-4-13 #2, p. 21). Arias found work waitressing at resorts in Crater Lake and Monterey. (RT 2-5-13, pp. 9; 20). She lived in Palm Desert, California for four years with her boyfriend, D.B., and was happy there.

, pp. 30; 39-41). Arias was a spiritual seeker, always interested in self-improvement. (facts so far out of evidence they may be circling jupitor)

, pp. 7-

8; 84). She became involved in “PPL,” Pre

-Paid Legal Services, a Pyramid scheme, lets just call a spade a spade here mmmkay.

, pp. 56; 61). She enjoyed the inspiring, motivational PPL functions. (

, pp. 75; 84). She met T.A. at a PPL function in Las Vegas in September of 2006. (

, pp. 62; 67). T.A. was an executive director of PPL. (

, p. 69). He approached Arias at a social function and introduced himself. (

, p. 68). They spent time together that weekend.

 

, pp. 70-74). She was his date at a formal banquet.

, pp. 70-74). She considered T.A. to be a new friend.

 

, pp. 97-100). After leaving Vegas, they talked on the phone every night.

, p. 106). By the weeks end stabby broke up with D.B.

, pp. 98-99). She wanted to start a family. (and hopefully at some point collect a bunch of spousal and child support)

, p. 99). D.B. did not want to get married. because he was a smart, smart man

, pp. 102-103). Arias and T.A. met the following weekend at their friends’ residence in California for a pyramid scheme event

, pp. 103-104). Once everyone was asleep, T.A. arrived at Arias

’s bedroom for a night time rendezvous. because of course he did, she was giving it away for fucks sake.

, p. 106). T.A. initiated sexual contact. Assuming facts not in evidence and my personal guess is someone named stabby initiated sexual contact

 

, p. 118). Arias knew that T.A. was Mormon. That is actually a true statement

, p. 90). He wore his temple garments during that sexual encounter. Assumes facts not in evidence and EWWWW

, p. 121). The next morning, they attended a Mormon church service together.

, p. 126). T.A. encouraged her to explore Mormonism.

, pp. 129-130). T.A. was a priest of the order Melchizedek and a respected church member. (RT 2-13-13, pp. 133-134). Arias believed T.A. was superior to her in all matters concerning religion. (I’m gonna give her this one.)

, p. 134). He gave her a copy of the Book of Mormon and sent missionaries to visit her at her home. (RT 2-5-13, p. 129). Two months after they met, T.A. baptized

Arias into the Mormon religion. (RT 2-6-13, pp. 25-26). After the baptism ceremony, the couple returned to Arias home where they had sex (assumes facts not in evidence)

, pp. 45-47). The Law of Chastity forbids sexual contact between unmarried persons. (RT 1-30-13, p. 96). T.A. instructed Arias that the church permitted sexual contact but not vaginal intercourse. (RT 2-6-13, p. 17). Arias trusted T.A. when he assured her that oral and anal sex between unmarried persons were acceptable. (so einstein is an idiot. Is that what we are going with?)

, pp. 20; 16-17). Eventually, the unmarried couple engaged in vaginal intercourse as well as other types of sexual behavior. How many fucking types are there we’ve covered anal, oral, vaginal, desserts, what’s missing maybe livestock?

, p. 99). Arias and T.A. became an exclusive couple in February of 2007

, p. 51). They met at PPL events and travelled together to visit Mormon historical sites.

, pp. 100; 122). Travelling together as an unmarried couple was frowned upon by Mormons. (RT 1-30-13, p. 24). T.A. assured her that the church approved of their sexual relationship. ( I CALL BULLSHIT ON THIS ENTIRE STATEMENT)

 

We will pick up with the rest of the opening salvo tomorrow. I need a tylenol and maybe a xanax or something.

RBMD peacing the fuck out

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Well it’s happened. The apocalypse is upon us. Stabbys Appeal Process Has Started And Oddly (so not oddly) We Are All To Blame.

July 6, 2018

 

 

My loyal subjects, your royal majesty, high commander of the realm, horse whisperer, honorary DVM, pretend Judge, pretty fucking good pretend lawyer, dog lactation consultant and as always queen of all I survey am back.  And if that has happened that has to mean stabby is back.  Boy is she.

Her first shot across the bow, keeping the appeals process sealed was a swing and a miss so I can pick apart her opening salvo at my leisure.  Which I will as soon as I finish reading the stupid thing.  Bitch learned some new words and shit.

It is roughly equivalent to war and peace if you left the peace part out so I will take yet another one for the team, read the fucking thing, translate it into English and put it up on here.

gotta go read now.  RBMD Peacing the fuck out


ADVENTURES IN REALLYBIGMEANDOG LAND

July 3, 2018

Hello my intrepid readers.  It is currently 1040 in the am.  I know this because I’ve been awake since about 340 in the am.  I’m sure I dozed but you get the picture right?  No you don’t, don’t even try to get the picture.  This house is pandemonium at 340 am.  Hutch thinks he might have heard or possibly seen a man with an ax or some shit outside in the dark through a lit window so he goes insane.  Stars has his back so she starts.  Ted E. who really wants to be a big dog and has the weirdest baratone voice for a dog that size I have ever heard literally shakes you out of bed.  The cats just look bored.  So I get up because you know, it could be an ax murderer except it isn’t.  It’s a bunny.  There is a bunny on my fucking lawn at 340 in the morning and every dog in the house needs me to know this. So I thank them for saving me from the bunny and go back to bed.  HA, my mistake you see because bunnies come back.  After an hour of this fun little game I banish all dogs to their respective furniture with promises of death and throw rugs if they wake me up again.  So when I get killed by an ax wielding maniac I did it to myself cuz I told my dogs to shut the fuck up.

 

RBMD peacing the fuck out


FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT WERE WORRIED, FRET NO MORE…

July 2, 2018

 

 

 

 

 

The United State of New Korea has held on to its title since the beginning of time and has once again won the douchbagary award.  It’s a think look it up. I’m sure the presidents sons were somewhere there high fiving each other and wondering out loud whether grabbing a pussy in Africa stays in Africa.  Spoiler alert. it doesn’t.   This shit needs to stop.  It needs to stop. and I don’t want to hear how it helps the population. That is basically the same argument as not vaccinating a kid.

Little girlie with the high powered rifle, name the time and place.  I’ll bring the giraffe and we’ll see who wins you inbred hillbilly moonshine making motherfucker.

I will ask again.  WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE.

Congrats on your fucking award.

RBMD totally NOT peacing the fuck out right now.


IT’S BEEN A MINUTE HASN’T IT

June 30, 2018

Sorry to disappoint but I haven’t died or been arrested or been hit by a truck or any of the things that those special little snowflakes were hoping for.  Life quite simply has gotten in my way much to my chagrin.

My puppy Ted E Bear, being a puppy peed the floor one evening.  I have linoleum and I refuse footwear.  It makes my feet feel icky.  So if you can imagine that old cartoon where one slips on a banana peel it was kind of like that.  Problem being old bones have a tendency to break.  And boy did they.  I figured I’d just muscle through like always but by day four my pain level was worse than childbirth so I knew I’d broke something.  Turns out it was somethings.  Broke two ribs and cracked one.  Because of puppy pee, and if you don’t see the humor than you just don’t have a funny bone.  I was taken out by puppy pee.  So I went to the hospital where I should by now have my own wing and they checked my bladder since they apparently get injured during flatback falls sometimes and then did x-rays and showed me the results.  I broke them real good.

We also had a tornado which was SO FREAKING AWESOME.  Of course I didn’t lose anything so lots less awesome for some of my closer neighbors.  I got me some chickens and a crazy rooster named bud the stud because he thinks he is all that and a bag of chips.  I wanted to show him (yes you can show poultry) but bud is nuts as a bag of cashews.  He will try and kill you and he fucking means it.  I also got a couple of rabbits and I’m gonna get some goats because I need them to conjure Satan.  Just kidding…or am I?

Panzer, my sons dog took a torsion and died Tuesday night and it crushed him.  There was nothing the vet could do but put her down.

things are still pretty much the same for me.  I just missed you all and thought I’d give you a quick this is what’s going on.  Your president is still an asshole who is now a kidnapper. you must be proud.

RBMD peacing the fuck out


This Has ZERO To Do With Any Trial, But I Am So Angry I Am On Vibrate; So You Get To Hear About It.

February 1, 2018

Hello my lovelies.  Your Dean of Fuckery/Doctor of Doctoring/ Dog Lactation Consultant/Honorary DVM/Horse Whisperer/ Animal Midwife/ Resident Sarcasm Expert/ Owner of One Contract of Indentured Servitude and Queen of all I survey is here and boy am I pissed.

For anyone new to the party, or anyone that just did not know, I am a huge proponent of rights for animals.  No I don’t mean that everyone should cease to eat meat simply because we have to kill something in order to do that.  Killing and eating things is unfortunately part of being a carnivore and being part of the food chain.  That being said, while an animal is alive, I do strongly believe that in exchange for the lives they are going to have to forfeit, it is our DUTY to make sure that they are as comfortable and happy as we can make them until that time comes.

In grade four we had to do speeches.  I loved speeches.  You were allowed to choose any topic and while mine generally went well left of weird, this one year a blurb at the bottom of page 2 of the paper caught my eye.  It was about a harp seal hunt.  This is something that goes on in Canada and is our greatest shame as a people as far as I am concerned.

Harp seal hunting is barbaric.  They beat baby seals (white coats they are called) to death with a club so someone can have a fashion accessory.  The industry will tell you that the meat goes to indigenous tribes, and while that is at least partly true, the entire truth is that SOME of the meat goes to indigenous people but most of them are just left in the blood soaked snow to decompose or be scavenged.  Baby harp seals are beautiful things with the softest sweetest eyes you will ever find on an animal and they don’t know to fear man so they don’t even try to get away.  When people with hearts first started to be outraged they were told it was population control, and then they went with keeping the population healthy and finally it’s part of native culture.  The native culture thing is the only thing that is not an outright lie and that is only partly true.  For the tribes where the harp seals are, yes they do eat them, but for the number killed each member of each family would have to consume three entire seals a day for that to be a completely true statement.

Now I do believe in sustenance hunting and have had to do it in order to make sure my family was fed. Every time I have ever had to do it, I have lost a little piece of myself.  Every time I have killed an animal  I cry for a very long time, even though I have never made a bad shot and I know that were it not for the meat I hade just killed we would go hungry.  I still cry.  Not like tears roll down my face, I look at that beautiful thing that was alive 20 minutes ago and I bawl like a baby.  Why?  Because I had to take that life in order to save my own.  That is not an exaggeration, for a couple of years there, we ate a lot of deer, and squirrel, and rabbit.

So, Harp seals are what made me start looking at what corporations and just general assholes do in order to make money off of creatures that would otherwise be left unmolested.  I eventually got to Cetaceans and Great Apes.  Yes one is land and one is sea, the common denominator is intelligence.

Humans seem to think we are the most intelligent creatures on the planet.  This is something I have never believed.  I have seen to much to believe for a second that is true.  We are intelligent animals, but so are whales, dolphins, parrots, all of the great apes, all monkeys, most dogs, big cats, and elephants.  These are the ones with intelligence on par with ours.  Just because we cannot understand their language does not mean that the intelligence is not there.

So I saw a thing about Orca’s on one of the groups I belong to.  The Orca had figured out how to manipulate its tongue in order to form a handful of words that were understandable to humans.  It did not say who commissioned the study, but I will bet you right now that it was Sea World, because Sea World has a vested interest in keeping Orcas in captivity.

Before we go any farther I’d like to share an experience I had.  When the Valdez went down carrying enough oil to kill about a billion animals I felt that I needed to be in Alaska doing whatever I could to help.  I had a wonderful job that I was very good at.  I went to my boss and told her what was going on and that there was no way I could just stay back and live my life and not do anything.  I asked for a leave of absence and barring that I told her I would have to quit.  She asked me to give her a night to think about it and the next day she presented me with a plane ticket, wished me good luck and told me my job would be here when I got back.  I was in no way prepared for what I walked into when I got to the staging area once I arrived.  I was first moved by the amount of people that had dropped everything to come help.  Biologists, veterinarians who represented almost every country in the world, boat captains who had turned around mid fishing season to come help tow animals in and out as needed, actual physicians, nurses, every branch of the military had representatives and the rest of us.  I had brought every medication my boss could think of that might be useful and there I was in the middle of possibly the worst marine life disaster in the history of ever.  I started with washing small sea mammals and birds.  Dawn donated thousands of gallons of soap to help get the oil off.  Every one we saved we all would give a little victory whoop but for every one we saved, there were thirty that were already dead.  While on the beach about 3 days in, approximately since a lot of us were doing 24 on and about 4 off to sleep.  So that day the sun had been up for about an hour and we could see the dorsal of an orca coming close to shore.  We had no idea she was pushing her calf, it just looked like gouts of oil being moved ahead of her.  Not till she got to where the drop off was did anyone notice the little calf.  Most of the vets were convinced it was dead.  I wasn’t so sure.  I asked two of the guys I’d made friends with if they would wade in and see and they did and that calf was still alive but in a lot of trouble.  The marine biologists ran in then and the cow orca backed off and waited basically pacing while they tried to save her calf.  It took them hours but the little bull orca lived.  He lived.  We kept him in a holding pen that night and mama paced back and forth all night and talked to her baby in this ultra low rumble like she was telling him everything was going to be OK.  They were reunited two days later.  Mama stuck her head out of the water and stared at the two marine biologists that had worked feverously to help him and she made this high pitched clicky sound before she and her baby swam away.  We all talked about it at chow that night and every scientist in the room agreed that whale had brought her baby to us on purpose.  I volunteered that she must have been watching us helping the other animals and figured out for herself we were her best chance.  There was a rumble of agreement and a lively debate about it but the consensus was that I was right.  There was no other explanation that worked.   She had the intelligence to figure out we were trying to save the animals not hurt them and she worked out we would try and do the same for her baby.  For the remainder of our stay I saw her about 30 feet off the dropoff every day.  She and her baby and the rest of her pod.  She was the only one that always stuck her face out of the water and hung there for a minute so we were sure to see her.  She did that till the day we left.

Now, back to sea world and why they, and circuses and any other sick fucks that use animals to line there pockets need to go out of business.  This whole whales can talk thing is absolutely fascinating.  Where it belongs is in a scientific paper not plastered all over social media so that they have a reason to keep keeping animals for the benefit of “research now since the backlash of captive cetaceans has placed them in a very bad spot.

I understand  the thinking behind not turning captive born animals loose because they would likely die.  Likely because they would have no pod to be returned to.  It still makes me just as ill.  I was heartened by the moratorium on breeding any more captive whales.  This little tidbit of social media sensation however is in my opinion a way to try and get the public backlash from the whole Tilikum finally went insane thing to blow over and for the average person to go but, but, but they can study whales to see if anymore can be taught to talk.  So I have come up with a solution.  Have at er sea world.  If you want to do research you fill your lying, money grubbing boots.  However, those whales are never to be shown to the public for money. You can show them speaking as part of your research but you are not allowed to charge for it. Trust me, if that is the case the talking whale program will come to a grinding halt because this as in every other thing is not about information, it is about money. Speaking of which, if you don’t like whales in captivity, speak with your fucking wallet. That is all these rich fucks understand.

RBMD peacing the fuck out.


A Bushy Haired Stranger Just Shot My Kids…Sorry that’s Dianne Downs. The Hippies Did It Part 8

January 13, 2018

 

 

Hello my lovelies.  Your Dean of fuckery, doctor of doctoring, horse whisperer, honorary DVM, pretend judge, writer of enviable amicus briefs, dog lactation consultant, purveyor of written motions that should be allowed in court because mine are way more fun, author of the big book of words and Queen of all I survey is not amused.  I had this post more than three quarters of the way written.   I saved it, left to go check a couple of facts, came back and guess what?  I’ll wait…THE ENTIRE FUCKING BLOG WAS GONE.  Seriously, this is like the third time this has happened to different posts.  Remember back to the stabby one I lost four times?  Word Press seriously needs to deal with some shit because I discovered something else about WordPress the other day which I will talk about later.  It takes me a lot of hours to write these blogs and when I know I saved it and then it is just gone really pisses me off.

Anyway, enough bitching about that for now, on with the show.

When we last left the shit show  Brian Murtagh had been accidentally stabbed during a courtroom display in which he and Jim Blackburn were trying to show that the perfectly cylindrical holes in the pyjama top would not have been possible if the top had been wrapped around MacFuckhead’s hands and being used as a shield as he had sworn too since the beginning of the most unbelievable story ever told took shape.  Not only did the pyjama end up with ragged tears, Brian ended up stabbed, another thing that had never happened to Jeffy.  Not one single defensive wound on his fingers, hands or forearms. Not so much as a scratch, while Brian had received a fairly significant wound during a relatively controlled experiment for the jury.  It spoke volumes and the jury did not miss it.

The people were winding up their case.  Paul Stombaugh was now up on the stand and he explained the blood evidence to the jury.  It was damning evidence.  And it came as close as anybody ever would to explaining the movements inside of castle drive that evening.  The Jury paid rapt attention.  With the conclusion of Stombaughs testimony the people rested and court was adjourned for the day.

Bernard had managed to locate a woman by the name of Helena Stokely, or what was left of her after one too many dances with the magic dragon.  She was a complete burnout, but she was a hippie, she had been known to wear a blonde wig on occasion and she was in the vicinity of castle drive the evening of the murders.  Hey, one hippie was better than no hippies and this one was possibly malleable enough to be convinced to testify that she had been inside the residence.   He brought her in for a deposition and she told him she was aware of the murders (as was everyone else on the planet pretty much) and that she knew where the Macfuckoffanddie residence was.  She said a friend of hers had showed it to her one day bitching that the doctor that lived there wouldn’t give him any methadone.  Macfamilyanihilator was kind of a you got yourself in you get yourself out kind of guy when it came to drugs apparently.  Pretty hypocritical for somebody that was taking enough amphetamines that he was worried about how fast it would clear his system.  Bernie hammered her saying she didn’t have to say she did anything but hold a candle but she needed to admit she was there.  Not only was she adamant that she was not present when Siegal threw the crime scene photos in front of her face she told him there was no way somebody on acid did that.  Her next sentence as recorded by Joe McGinnis well before he ever found the notes on the speed were, “maybe somebody on speed, did they check him for drugs.”  Now she could have probably been sworn as an expert witness on drugs so that was a pretty telling thing to say.  Bernie wisely decided not to call her as a witness.

Bernie decided it was time to start prepping Jeffy for his testimony.  Jeffy was slightly agitated.  He had not been thrilled with the jury he had paid an expert to help seat, and he felt he was being challenged when Bernie told him he planned on showing the jury a family, not just a bunch of crime scene photos but he wanted them to feel a living breathing  family.  Jeffy asked Bernie if he was saying he had to convince the jury he was innocent.  Bernie tried to stem the volcano that was about to erupt by telling Jeffy that he thought they could rest now and win, but he didn’t want to take the chance of one hold-out juror making them do it all again.  At this point Jeffy amped up a little and began spiking questions about which juror Bernie thought it would be, the beady eyed one, the one that keeps looking at him like the juror is the grand dragon of the KKK and Jeff was a black guy dating his daughter.  Bernie tried another tack, telling him he understood he was angry but to take it easy on attacking the army and probably muttering under his breath that his big mouth is what had got him into this in the first place.  Jeff became sarcastic.  Bernie got made and made the error of reminding Jeffy that this is exactly how Woerheide had gotten under his skin at the grand jury.  Jeffy flipped his shit and in front of his entire legal team he started screaming at Bernie to never mention Victor Woerheide.  He’s a Nazi, He’s a goddamn Nazi he screamed at everybody before he realized this probably didn’t look good.  He got himself under control and took a deep breath before turning to face Bernie.  Okay he said calmly I will take everything you have said under advisement. (read: I’m totally gonna ignore you and do whatever I want anyway because I’m smarter than they are).    I have some advice for you.  That pony I bought the girls that one Christmas that every single person who has testified has talked about? ” Take it easy on the pony Bernie, after all the character witnesses, if the jury hears about that pony one more time they are gonna puke.”  Spoiler alert, they didn’t puke.

Jeffy showed nothing but contempt when he was crossed by Jim Blackburn and his contempt was very noticeable to everyone, especially the jury.  His pure, unadulterated hatred of Brian Murtagh was also pretty clear.

Fun fact, Jeff MacDonald could not work up a tear during the entire trial even while looking at the beat and stabbed to death pictures of his children.

It took the jurors only a little over 7 hours to come back with a verdict.  Guilty of second degree murder for Colette and Kimmie, and first degree for Kristen because the theory put forth by the prosecution that it was possible Colette had been an accident and Kimmie had been collateral damage, but Kristen had been killed on purpose to support his alibi was believed by the jury.

Here is what I believe.  Colette and he got into an argument about something, likely the parade of women that Colette was aware of and not being stupid she probably put it together  that there was no boxing trip to Russia.  At some point I believe she whacked him one with the hairbrush.  Overtired from the speed, being on speed, being sick of the wife and kids and fury that she would deign to actually hit him, Jeffy lost his shit and likely punched her square in the face.  Her nose and mouth were busted opened and while that could have come from the club later, I think he punched her.  The bent Geneva forge knife was in the bedroom being used as a paint scraper and I think Colette probably grabbed it to try and protect herself and that is when things went sideways.  He grabbed the piece of timber, hit her with it and that is when kimmie came in to see what al the screaming was from.  I think he caught her with a backswing because he didn’t know she was standing there and he killed her.  And that is when he knew he was either going to jail forever and ever or he was going to have to make up a story and hope that the army bought it.  Unfortunately for those that may have still been saved, he went with option two.  He put Kimmie back where she was supposed to be, he went and killed Kristen, he made sure Colette was good and dead and then he stabbed himself and called for help. Had he not felt the need to start a media tour on how stupid the army was he probably would have gotten away with it.  It was his own hubris that got the case reopened.  Freddy was the one who sealed the deal, but it was his own statements that started the ball rolling.

So that’s it, other than the leftovers.  He has appealed a staggering number of times.  They are all available to view online.  He has married a bridge troll named Kathryn.  They managed to steal most of the money Perry left to Jay “because Jay couldn’t handle money.”  He sued Joe McGinnis and they settled.  He ended up making way less money than he would have if he had let McGinnis alone.  I find that tidbit absolutely delicious.

That’s it kids.  The horrible tale of a green beret who should have never ever been married.  God help his wife if he ever gets out of prison.

Next up, until I find  something current to amuse us all with is going to be Robert Oakley Marshall, who had his wife killed.

RBMD peacing the fuck out.

 


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