Hi, everyone! Yes, I am feeling better…I’m not 100%…YET…but I WILL BE!
I hesitated when I thought about sharing my feelings on today’s topic, but, then I realized (like so many other life issues) that I’m not the ONLY one here at the No Kill Shelter to struggle with it, and, maybe by sharing our thoughts, and our feelings, we all will heal a little more, it might make us stronger.
Ok, for those that haven’t heard…we moved in…we are still “settling in”…slowly…
NOTE: I WROTE THIS BEFORE I GOT INTO A BIT A THING ABOUT MY .COM RENEWAL. IT’S SORTED AND I WIN SO…YAY ME!! ANYWAY POINT IS IT IS OLDER NEWS AND I’M TO FUCKING LAZY TO GO AND CHANGE TENSES SO IF IT SAYS TODAY TAKE THAT AS ABOUT THREE WEEKS AGO…ISH. WITH THAT ON WITH THE SHOW.
Hello everyone. Your wayward Queen is back with stuff to say. Before we get into the amusing part of the program, I would like to dedicate this post to the Tragically Hip and specifically their lead singer Gord Downie. Gord has been the frontman for the hip since before they ever had a record deal. His voice is what I think angels sound like and he is a true inspiration to everyone battling anything. Gord has inoperable brain cancer. He is dying. Instead of just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, Gord decided that he was going out the way he wanted and what he wanted was one more tour to thank the fans.
I first saw the Hip when I was 19. I had taken one of my I have no idea where I am going to end up weekend road trips and I wound up right around Kingston and camped for the night. I decided to check out a bar about a half hour up the road and they had a live band. The band was phenominal. They did mostly covers and a couple of originals and played to about 10 people counting me. Even with nobody in the audience they gave it everything they had, played a full set and I was hooked by the second song. I saw them twice more after they had become big and own every album they have ever put out. They are not the best band in the world, but they are definitely the most Canadian band in the world. They never cared about world fame even if the attain a modicum of it, they just wanted to make good music about things relevant to Candians. And they did that in spades.
Gonna get right into the meat and taters of todays post before another fit of laughter keels me over.
I know you all in the States think you have the market cornered on weapon violence, but I will have you know you are absolutely right, but that doesn’t make this any less funny.
Today in Toronto a crazed Bowman(Have to check and see if that is a thing, not really sure)killed three and injured one in a crazy crossbow attack.
Now, of course dead people are never funny. Wait…anyway the thing that is funny is that anybody can legally obtain a crossbow. kind of like you all and guns in the States. Call it the Canadian second amendment or, the right to carry bows. All kinds of bows. Cross bows, long bows, recurve bows, camouflage bows. The difference between say a 45 and a bow is, bows are a fucking pain in the ass to re-load. If you are small it can take upwards of five minutes to reload. Also, you need to be a much better shot to use a bow. If you don’t believe me ask Daryl Dixon he’ll tell you. After about the fourth shot your arms are too tired to reload anymore and this is my theory as to why the rampage (which was actually three people bowed down (see what I did there)at close range in their driveway and some random person.) The survivor probably survived because the crossbow wielding maniacs arms were tired and he wobbled.
There have been crossbow hunting accidents and a dog up here shot his owner once but that was with a rifle, but I can’t remember any crossbow attacks. We had that dude that cut somebodies head off on a bus but that was with a hunting knife and he was batshit nuts so it wasn’t really his fault but no, cross bow attacks not so much.
Think I will google crossbow attacks in Canada and get back to you.
So, at the risk of people not having a sense of humor, lets talk about your election because nothing is more fun than talks about politics or religion. I feel for you all and because of that I have to feel bad for Canada. If Justin ever loses his hair it will be over the American election. Your Candidates both suck. Trump is just a whack a doo and I think Clinton is just slimy.
I love Trumps thoughts though, | may have to turn the in house psychic loose on him, although she has threatened suicide if I do. How is this man ballsy enough to talk about how he knows more about ISIS then anyone else and how he is going to run the country like a business. Is he so full of his own bullshit that he thinks nobody knows how many times his business skills have put his businesses into chapter 11. Can a country file for bankruptcy? Someone better look that up. He is getting rid of all the illegal immigrants to bring them back but legally? How fucking much is that going to cost and more importantly why the fuck would you do that? Then he flipped and decided they could stay if they paid back taxes. I find that confusing. I don’t really understand how illegal immigrants work unless it is under the table, off the books like, so how can you charge them back taxes on money they technically never made? And if they are on the books they aren’t illegal right? They must have a work visa or something. I am also looking forward to Trump getting privileged 1st worlders to do the jobs that the illegal immigrants do. Is he going to make it mandatory to do farm work or clean houses or garden or whatever it is that Americans don’t want to do that makes people in poor countries flock there to get jobs?
Hell, you can’t get farm workers here. We have to import them. We actually request them. That way they are vetted, they are on the books, they are treated like humans instead of farm animals, the have access to medical while they are here, they pay taxes on the money they make and it is still a shit ton more money then they make at home. Some farms have had the same gangs of Mexicans or Jamaicans for over 10 years. Because Canadians don’t want the jobs. How it works in the states I don’t know, but here the jobs have to be posted at services Canada and offered to Canadians first. The farmers I have known have told me they maybe get two or three applicants for forty or more jobs and when they are hired they usually only last a couple of days. Farm work is hard and long and hot. You work in the sun, in the rain, etc. So don’t be so quick to think getting rid of your immigrants is going to accomplish anything, it may actually cause more problems than it fixes.
As for Clinton, I don’t think she is a much better choice, just for different reasons. I find her disingenuous. And Bill Clinton is going to be the ugliest first lady ever. Looking forward to seeing his inaugural dress though.
I say you write in Rick Grimms/Daryl Dixon and see if they win. Or vote for your cat. Or Mama. Mama would make a kick ass president.
That is it
REALLY BIG MEAN DOG PEACING THE FUCK OUT!
Well, at least the “semi-final” chapter! We close on Friday, just 5 days from now…and only a few “minor” items remain to be done: painting the garage doors, installing the freezer and the oven, the final paint touch ups throughout, etc…so, without further ado, I present: Casa Azul…
Hi kiddies, tis me your wayward queen back from hiding in my bunker because the GOP election thing is happening and I’m ascared.
college humor wrote this, I take no credit because unlike whatever the fuck number wife we are on, I try not to just poach stuff like entire speeches.
So, just for the shits and giggles of it all (spoiler alert I hope you saved your complimentary Pretoria puke buckets) lets recap shall we?
Donald Trump (real name Drumph according to John Oliver) thinks all people of Latino origin, ESPECIALLY MEXICANS are murdering rapist drug cartel running bastards. Except for a couple which he assumes are okay. I’m thinking probably his gardener and pool guy. All as in every single Muslim is a terrorist and need to be deported back to the stone age as soon as we can round up enough planes. Born in America, tough shit deal with it. Women fall into three categories, the blow up dolls like his wife, the mildly cuddly and the way gross fat ones that need to be exiled until we figure out what the fuck is wrong with them. Oh sorry forgot the forth category, the ones bleeding from….wherever.
He is planning on building a wall around Mexico. Um, excuse me for a moment (OMGLOLROFLMAO) and wait cuz it gets better, Mexico is going to pay for it. He does have the distinction of actually making a foreign dignitary curse in a second language no less to tell him they are not paying for a fucking wall, so 2 points to Slitherin.
This brings us to NATO. NATO or the North Atlantic Treaty Organization was brought together in 1949 because WWII happened. Members include Canada, Britain, a bunch of European countries I’m to lazy to go look up, Russia briefly in 91 but they quit because world domination, Poland, the Czech republic and the US, at least until the orangutan that speaks becomes president. He doesn’t like Nato, he doesn’t think countries are equal in costs to upkeep Nato, he is an idiot. Putin is probably throwing a huge party and planning his overthrow of the US right now because if you don’t think all the NATO countries are going to tell Trump to eat a dick, you are not paying attention.
In case you were wondering, Canada is starting a go fund me to build our own fucking wall and we will pay for it ourselves because we all had a meeting and decided that the states has just gone batshit crazy. It’s not your fault. I blame the 1%, the people who think you need an automatic weapon for anything other than when the purge starts and I’m sure it’s not too far off. Why the fuck does anyone need an assault rifle? Home protection? Blow me, if you can’t shoot someone with a 12 gauge or a 45 you shouldn’t even be holding a gun. Going hunting deer with it? That is just sick. Climbing a clocktower? you’re better of with a carbine…not that I would know. People are shooting cops as a sport, so I’m not kidding about the purge.
Don’t worry, we are working hard to get the normal Americans out. We have re-activated the underground railroad. Go to Georgia if you can get there without getting shot, wait until dark and watch for the old timey lantern. Go to it and the conductor will give you further instructions.
I leave you with this because it just reminds me of all of this mess.
RBMD peacing the fuck out!!
EDIT: Renae is correct, Russia is not part of NATO at this time
Hi!!! Mama here…more or less…on the 22nd, Papa kidnapped me from the sofa and forced me to get on a plane full of people with GERMS…and we flew into Billings, Montana….then drove to Sheridan, Wyoming. Papa seems to think that although I was BORN in WASHINGTON STATE, grew up in SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, and lived 12 years in SAN ANTONIO….(with 6 months of “hard time” at Lowry AFB, Colorado) that I hadn’t seen “the real west”…trust me…I saw what I wanted to see….Indians? There’s Indians in Washington State….and California….mountains? There’s mountains in both states…and some called “Hills” in Texas…so…..in MY CONSIDERED OPINION….I HAD MISSED NOTHING!!! I once drove to Mount Rushmore….and the Crazy Horse Monument….it’s not like I am a sheltered traveler….but….to keep everything happy…I dragged my raggedy ass off the sofa, sent Boo to Brenda’s house, threw some of my skorts into a paper bag and off we went…SIGH……….
Thursday, the 23rd…I woke up with a sore throat…oh, lovely…so, went to the pharmacy, got some cold-ease and hoped I wouldn’t get sick…clambered into the rented Subaru Outback and my “chauffeur” drove me up the crookedest derned road I’ve ever been on…nothing but rock…oh, look at the rocks…oh, look at that rock! Needless to say….I got car sick…grabbed my pillow, got in the backseat, and went to sleep…my head wedged against one door, my feet propped against the other…hoping that the Great Indian, “Falling Rocks” wasn’t going to attack the Outback…
Met my husband’s “friend”….a short ugly little man….a cross between a troll and a leprechaun…obviously a heavy drinker from the florid face, bulbous nose and BIG MOUTH. A MYSOGYNIST….whose wife adores him…he is HUGE into guns, prepping, himself, drinking and generally being an asshole….I cannot stand him…he is an authentic “Florida Cracker” and proud of it. How he found such a wonderful, caring, considerate wife, I’ll never know…..my husband drinks too much when he is around Cracker….and I don’t like that, either.
I’m not really sure when I got sick…but I can barely remember the 6 days we were gone. All I wanted to do was to come home. Somewhere about the 24th or 25th….I can actually FEEL the crap in my lungs “crackling”…I can BARELY breathe….my dearest insisted we go to “Buffalo”…where all he did was sit on a park bench under a tree on the street…(I called my doc at home & made an appointment on the 29th)..we didn’t shop, we didn’t walk (who could walk with all that crackling and out of breath stuff?). We went with Cracker & Wife for dinner…I don’t remember eating, or talking or even where we went. I couldn’t breathe…at some point, we went shopping…my DH purchased a pair of cowboy boots for me (why? I don’t know!) and a hat….the boots didn’t really look at that “hot” with my skorts! I began thinking I needed to go to the emergency room…I couldn’t breathe…I wanted to go home….FINALLY….the 28th!! Up at 2am for the two hour drive back to Billings…yes, I slept in the back…airport at 4 am, turn in the rental, go thru security….sit around to finally get on the plane…I still can’t breathe (do you see the theme, here?). FINALLY….home at 5:30 Eastern…go get the dog at 7…home by 8….(thank you, son, for driving me…). I fell asleep exhausted…
By the time I got to my doc on the 29th, I was barely alive….my fingertips were bluish, my ankles are so swollen that I feel the water “sloshing” with every step….I can’t “let water” at all…I’m struggling for every breath…the receptionist was so shocked at my presentation, she forget to collect her co-pay…I’m put into a room with no weigh in, no blood pressure check…and, suddenly, it’s like a scene from E.R….Dr. Browning is shouting for Epi-shots and steroids and giving instructions…several nurses are preparing shots and breathing machines and putting monitors in me…my oxygen concentration at 75% has everyone going nuts…
Finally…the Epi and steroids kick in…and my oxygen gets up to 82%…maybe I will live after all…finally, after another hour of breathing treatments…I’m up to almost 91%…and they send me for some prescriptions and “bed rest”…I was ordered to go get a lung X-Ray….diagnosis: Community Acquired Pnemonia and COPD….last X-ray, several years ago, showed a spot on my right lung…we will see if it has grown any larger…or if, as I suspect, it’s just some scar tissue from my many bouts of Pnemonia and chronic bronchitis…all is well….
Nothing much “substantial” has happened this month…the paint is done….
And….the paver driveway, sidewalk and porch are done…
The “waterline tiles” are installed in the pool….
The chandeliers are installed….
The cabinets and cabinet lighting completed….
And…my soaker tub is close to complete….
I’m so sick of waiting for everyone to get off their thumbs and get this house done!!! We’ve been dealing with this since mid November…and I’m pretty sick of those men not getting anything done!!! What SHOULD take a day, takes a week…what SHOULD take a week, takes a month…several weeks ago, I would have given this builder 5 stars…please don’t ask for a reference until after they quit piddling around and get this house done!!! Maybe it’s like being pregnant…the last month is the worst for waiting…
I’ll let y’all know about the X-Ray when I get the results…I hope everyone is well…
Hello my lovelies. I know it’s been a minute, I’ve been busy trying to get a bunch of stuff done around the house. I’ve decided that it needs to be moved around, painted and I have to get rid of several tonnes of stuff because apparently I keep everything. I have boxes from video games I bought when I was like 30. Why? Because I might need it. I also have not been especially well, nothing to worry about, basically just trying to do to much to fast.
Lovely to see Casa Azul coming together so nicely. It was actually mama who motivated me to make some much needed changes to this place. I am taking a huge step and moving my bedroom downstairs where I am only behind one lock and I’m pretty fucking proud of myself.
That however, has nothing whatsoever to do with todays post. Today’s post is brought to you by the letters W E I S F U C K E D.
Whatever the fuck is in the water in Orlando, don’t let the army take it and weaponize it. I am so sorry for the victims of the shooting, their families, the officers that had to respond to that carnage and us. I am sorry for us.
Now why is a Canadian sorry for you all, being as you the greatest nation on the planet? Because you are like our big brother in a good way and you have been grievously injured which injures us too. Targeting the LGBT community is just so fucked up I can’t even.
I don’t care if you fuck women, men, blow up dolls, an apple pie, or your malamute as long as he or she is into it, it is flat out none of my business and that being said I probably don’t give it any thought Until something like this happens. Then I think about it a lot. And it makes me very angry.
Then you have Adolph Trump fanning the already huge flames about Muslims who are not are radical assholes and building a wall to keep out Mexicans and just arbitrarily deciding that immigration needs to stop. Never mind that his 14 year old wife is an immigrant. I guess the pretty ones will get a pass. Adolph Trump is a worry, just not even close to my biggest one.
What is it with you all and guns? How fucking many people have to be mowed down by crazy assed crazies before you all figure out that your right to bear arms flies in the face of the right to go to school and not get shot, or go to a club and not get shot, or go buy a pack of smokes and not get shot? I’m not talking about taking away your guns, but who the fuck needs military grade weapons for anything other than war? If you are hunting with one you are a coward and or a shitty shot and if not what the fuck are you doing with it? My question is this. What is the number of dead wives, husbands, sisters, brothers, children, pets etc that will make you say “you know what, we might have a problem here?” ten thousand? twenty thousand? I’m really curious about that.
Now we have this new lovely thing called Zika virus right where all are Olympic athletes are going to be and they have finally found the elusive super bug that not even our antibiotics of last resort will kill. Have I mentioned we are fucked. In case you missed it, we are fucked.
Up here in Canada land the Trial for the murder of Tim Bosma just finished with a verdict of guilty and two life sentences with parole eligibility after 25 years. Which in Canada means see ya in 25 years.
We got the right to die bill put through this week but just like I said when it was first discussed it is just a big pile of shit with a bow on top. The big contention was the wording of foreseeable death. Well, I have a shocker for all the big shot muckity mucks on the hill, EVERY DEATH IS FORSEEABLE. I’m pissed off because I have never believed that the government should have any say on when you as a person have decided that you want off this ride and want to punch your ticket. You shouldn’t have to blow you head off or whatever to do it. You should be able to have access to the drugs necessary to make the transition from life to death as easy and pain free as possible.
My plan should the time come is to find a dealer of Heroin since they must be out there somewhere, and I’m gonna ride me a dragon right into the sunset.
Oh yeah, I have decided that besides Queen of all I survey I have also crowned myself Queen of Scotland. Please don’t forget to curtsy.
Note to Pesky, one of your cousins keeps teasing my extremely large puppies and you might want to send him a letter or text or something that they do not appreciate his shenanigans and he looks mighty tasty.
I will be around sporadically, I’m just crazy busy right now.
RBMD peacing the fuck out.