Arts and crafts room – Arizona
While the Jury deliberates and sifts through the piles and piles of lies that have come from the defense, I thought it would be good to keep ourselves busy. Idle hands and all that you know. So, as a public service, here is a list of stuff you can do while we wait patiently(sooooooo not patiently) for the Jury to come in.
1-Clean and sharpen everything in your knife drawer. You never know when an abusive Dwarf might show up. Heck even those garden gnomes can get a little snarky.
2-Make up new words for slut. I am particularly fond of three hole wonder and love using it in a sentence, but after a while it gets stale. I’ve come up with doorknob(cuz everyone gets a turn) bowling ball (it’s got three holes) and human bicycle because everyone has a ride.
3-Report a weapon stolen in case you need to use it in a homicide later. Just to make it more fun for the police, leave things like laptops and jewelry out in plain sight and tell them you don’t know how they found the gun it was hidden.
4-call your friends to borrow some gas cans just in case you want to take a trip and not stop for gas.
5-write coded messages in the spines of magazines and then give them to your friends and see if they can figure it out.
6-get a christmas tree and hide behind it. Where you find a Christmas tree in May is your problem.
7-Send yourself a bunch of derogatory fake emails. This will involve making a fake internet account to send them from but that will kill some time.
8-Practice bending your finger at the second joint so it looks like the tendon in damaged. Take pictures.
9-Wash your camera. Actually Stabby did me a favour with that one, because just tossing it in the machine seems so much easier than actually cleaning it.
10- go buy some KY because why not
11-leave the house with one color hair and then come back with another color. See who notices.
12-Install a doggy door to crawl through in case you get locked out of your house or anything
13-Go over to your next door neighbours after dark and peep in their windows. Watch their hilarious reaction.
14-drive 60 miles out of your way in a perfectly good car to rent a car that you could have rented at a place you could walk too. Make sure it is NOT red.
15- Try and meet two ninjas. You never know when THEY might come in handy
16- give yourself a paper cut, look down at the blood and immediately wonder who you killed.
17-take a hit of acid and re-watch Alyce in Blunderlands testimony. It makes so much more sense that way
18-Turn covert mission, fog, and doesn’t make any sense into a drinking game. Wait till after the verdict because you may be too drunk to hear it otherwise
19-come up with other things that PTSD could stand for. Put This Slut Down is my personal favorite so far.
20-Send Juan Martinez and Esteban Flores a thank you card. Seriously because I have never seen two such single-minded men in my entire life and they have revived my hope for the human race.
Hope these handy suggestions help you pass the time, if you get through all twenty, I suggest a dart board with a picture of Stabby or Alfred E. or Jenny From the Cell Block on it.
Have a great afternoon everyone. I hope we have a verdict soon.
To the Alexander family, I pray you find peace when this is over and I know Travis is with his Heavenly Father watching down on you all.