Advertisements
 

I Don’t Want the Brown Haired Thing Back Yet, You Keep it for Awhile

Working as a roadie for the Charlie Danial’s Band-Arizona

Everyone was obviously in an absolute state of stunned disbelief when the courtroom floor did not immediately open up and Stabby the Brown Haired thing and her two Minions of Evil were not sucked back down from whence they came.  Being the inquisitive little thing that I am, I immediately had my in house psychic reach Satan and we Skyped for a while.  When I asked him what the hell, his answer was directly to the point.  “Kelly” he started in that Baratone voice of his ” I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but uh, Bitch be crazy, you can keep her for now.”  “Oh and by the way that tour guide job still stands whenever you get down here.” I thanked him for the info and job offer, told him he needed to polish his horns and turned Skype off.

Jenny From the Cell Block actually braced herself for a moment as if preparing for the inevitable.  She looked absolutely gobsmacked that not even one single person on the Jury believed the totally unbelievable lie she had cooked up for her little Stabby Friend.  When the courtroom floor didn’t happen, her look of Yay I’m going home turned into an ever bigger FUCK MY LIFE then the one she had on her face last week.

Alfred E. Nurmi was on one of his 9 out of 10 days that he doesn’t like Stabby, because the man just did not have a fuck to give.  My in house Psychic says something along the lines of “whatever dude, can we all just get the fuck out of here now, my high is wearing off and I am in desperate need of a cheeseburger, was going on in his head.  Once again, thank you in house Psychic.

I have to admit my friends, I did immediately go to the Stabby Twitter feed and post the following.  “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Really stabby, you thought someone would believe that?  She blocked me.  HOW RUDE!! As a side note, if you are on twitter, repost this, I don’t want her little friend to be able to go anywhere on twitter and not see this.

Oh good I see Charlie Daniels and the Boys have shown up a quick run through of “Devil Went Down to Arizona”  Yeah he re-wrote it just for the occasion.  Everyone thank Charlie.  Be right back I have to move some sub woofers.

Holy, those things are huge.  Anyway, the vet and his ever-present tranquilizer gun just showed up.    There’s Esteban Flores with a whole bag full of good boy treats.  A large van just rolled up and Juan was led out on a catch pole, muzzled and with two separate collars on him.

Looks like we just have to wait for Stabby and the Funky Bunch to show up and we are good to go for today.

Ok, I’m off to make popcorn and take a Xanax. It a preemptive strike in case Jenny From the Cell Block or Alfred E. Nurmi have to actually speak today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

2 Responses to I Don’t Want the Brown Haired Thing Back Yet, You Keep it for Awhile

  1. stephanie johnson says:

    I’m absolutely addicted to your writing. Amazing! You, in all honesty, should right a book.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      I actually am in the process of writing three books, one is going to publisher very soon, just finishing rewrites. Thank you so much for the kind words. Please feel free to share my blog around, I really do live to make people laugh.

Behind The Words... With Kim

Examining the minds and actions of female killers

Varmt News Network

It's the Internet.

Just Da Truth!

musings of a dangerous mind

peskyvarmt

Just another WordPress.com site

Asleep in Left Field-My Life

4 out of 5 Friends recommend this WordPress.com site

Out in left field

(Totally fictional) Drama Queen Stories

CALLS FOR JUSTICE

sometimes, there are monsters walking amongst us

%d bloggers like this: