Todays Blog will be Brought to You by Our in House Psychic

May 12, 2013

She doesn’t pay me enough for this shit – Arizona

Hi everybody, it’s me, the in-house Psychic. Somebody’s son insisted no blogging today, so she sent me back down to the psych ward to see if I can get a read off of Stabby and see what she’s thinking about on Mothers Day.  This might take a bit since I’m standing on the south lawn.  I tried to tell Kelly I don’t have the same pull she does but does she listen? Nooooo.  It’s all  just go do it, our readers are gonna need a blog.  Hang on, something is coming in……….KELLY I CAN HEAR YOU.  GO HAVE MOTHERS DAY OR WHATEVER AND NEVER MIND IF I’M GETTING IT DONE.

Um, back to Stabby.  Give me a few seconds.  OK here we go…cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger.   OK, well that answers yesterdays question about whether that patient looked suspiciously like Alfred E. Nurmi.

Lets try again.  I’ll concentrate harder.  AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! OMG I just got the LaViolette feed and it was all revenge on all men and severed penises everywhere.  Oh and she and Stabby Skipping through a field of daisy’s hand in hand.

*Sigh*  Sorry, had it tuned to the wrong frequency.  Still need crazy man hating bitch, just channel 9 not 6.  I got…..nothin..oh wait here we go.  Oh it’s mothers day.  Too bad I can’t see mine.  I’d really love to be able to tell her what a wanker she is for not throwing herself under the bus and telling the cops she killed Travis.  That’s what moms do right.  And getting mad at me for all that bullshit I made up about her hitting me when I was a kid.  Pffffft.  I lied about every single  thing that came out of my mouth and it’s not like she doesn’t know me.  Stupid cow.  Oh and she’s so not getting a totally copyright infringed upon card because of that interview she gave the cops.  What kind of mother does that?  Oh wait, mine does. God, how did I get saddled with all these stupid people?  Is it time for the meds yet?  I know I’m the quintessential Mormon girl, but if they are just going to give out free drugs, who am I to argue.  It’s like coffee.  It’s not really a sin if somebody gives it to you.  It would be rude not to take it.   I wonder if I can bang one of the orderlies or something.  I miss all that anal.  God, I could suck a dick for days right now.  Nobody mentioned anything about no men when they said guilty of 1st degree murder.  Guilty of murder, not bad sex.  I’m a three hole wonder.  As in, you’ll wonder what you were thinking when you are down at the clinic getting shots.  Hahahahahaha.  Best part is, who’s going to admit I gave them the clap.  Nobody.  God I am so smart.  Einstein would totally be jealous if he was here.  And I’m pretty.  Don’t forget pretty. Sounds like the orderlies are coming.  Ok Jodi girl, get it together.  Now, flip hair, bat eyes, let your hand linger as you reach for your meds.  Smile and make eye contact and wet your lips.  Aaaaand,  Gotcha. Oh yeah, you’ll be back for rec time.  Hahahahahaha.  What was I thinking about before?  My stupid mother.  I don’t want to think about that anymore. She better bring me something for mothers day.  Cow!  I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty…………….

Fuck it, I’m out.  I’m serious Kelly, I have to go home and figure out how to sanitize my brain.  I want more money.

This is the in-house Psychic reporting from the Psych ward.  Everybody have a lovely mothers day.

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