Stabby Wants to live.

May 21, 2013

Really?  Said NO ONE ANYWHERE – Arizona

Wow.  I can’t believe after all this time, and all the pain that has been caused and all the bullshit we have all had to sit through we are almost at an end to the fuckery that is Stabby Einstein.

Jenny From the Cell Block found the bong and is taking the  close.   Apparently Alfred E. Nurmi is butthurt that all of his awesome mistrial motions have been denied and is working his way through an all you can eat buffet.  Jenny has obviously taken one too many bong hits today because she seems to be going on about what a wonderful (killed a guy in could blood with a knife AND a gun) human being Stabby is.  If it hadn’t been for all the mitigating factors that absolutely nobody would come and and talk about,she could have been a totally awesome human being…………WAIT, WHAT?  In-house Psychic, am I high?  No?  So, I really heard that then?  K Thanks.  Sorry.  Oh, now mother of Stabby is being dragged through the mud.  Apparently it is her parents fault she almost decapitated someone because her parents yelled at each other. So, wait.  We are supposed to spare her life because of her awesome family who Jenny now says abused her?  Seriously, I think I’m high.

Stabby has no shame.  Jenny just said that Stabby has very low self esteem and almost no ego.  And she said it without laughing.   sdshw4oyhethetjwerf……sorry my head hit the keyboard.  Wow, Jenny really, really wants that visit with Satan she’s been looking forward too because she is pulling out all the stops for this one.  Now it’s Travis’ fault he got himself stabbed 27 times, almost decapitated and shot because he told her she was the worst thing that ever happened to him. woehtfsonfsodlgfnmdr.….sorry, banged my head again.   Better go put on your traveling clothes Jenny, I think you are going straight to hell once this trial is over.

Stabby looks completely convinced she’s got this and Alfred E. Nurmi is taking bong hits every few minutes and pretending he is at an olive garden or something.

Jenny from the Cell Block appears to be wrapping it up, and Esteban Flores, Detective and dog handler extraordinaire is trying to get the catch pole and muzzle off of a completely seething pit bull.

Juan is absolutely frothing.  You can actually see the fury in his eyes.  I have to say Detective Flores looks almost as disgusted as the Juanderful Mr Martinez.  He has told them that Travis will forever be remembered as being 30.  Then of course he put up a picture of dead Travis and we have an objection.  Of course we do.  Overruled.  Juan is continuing to plow through the bullshit of the last half hour.  He is ripping apart every  mitigating factor that does not actually exist.  Hey, apparently Dr. Fog had a class on invisible mitigation factors right after the invisible gun class.  Wow, how very well rounded of him.    Juan has ripped down the hair, the art, Stabby’s age, now he is grabbing and shaking the pictures that stabby put up, telling them all of those experiences she will miss, he will never have again.

Nurmi’s chair can be heard begging for mercy since Nurmi is having a tantrum and refusing to get up.  His assistant is running burgers and pot to him.  I am also very frightened for Stabby’s pencil.  She is switching between scribbling hard enough to break the poor thing to clutching it with the obvious intent of plunging it directly into the pit bulls heart.

Bwahahahahaha.  Really Juan.  Adjusting someone would have made her a good friend, but according to her he’s full of crap.  OMFG that is possibly the most sarcastically amusing thing I have ever heard.

I believe Guinness has shown up to tape the world record for most objections in the history of EVER happening in Judge Stephens courtroom.

Jenny from the Cell Block will be yelling objection, mayweapproach as soon as she passes the bong back to Alfred E. Nurmi.  Aaaaand, she did.  Bitch!! She is totally just trying to knock Juan off of his game and we all know that is NOT gonna happen, so why bother.

Juan is back from the sidebar and he is more fired up then ever.  Stabby likes to play the victim.  There are no school reports of abuse, no police reports of the abuse….3,2,1 mayweapproach.  FUCK! They are up, they are back.  He is now barking again about abuse.  Travis’ abuse now.  There is no proof of any abuse from anyone.  EVER.  Now he is worrying the argument about points 5, 6 and 7.  They are successfully shredded.

Alfred E. Nurmi is now working his way thr0ugh the sundae bar portion of the buffet and Jenny from the Cell Block is back up.  The simple question before you is do you kill her……..FUCK YES.  Does she have value?  Now she is reiterating all the stuff that the pit bull said.  Jenny is being especially petulant.  She says that Stabby doesn’t feel entitled.  soldghaeothwoq454lxx .  I’m gonna need a Tylenol (now available in Stabby strength) after this.  Again with the lies?  Really Jenny, you really want to remind the jury of all the lies she’s told?  I personally wouldn’t have gone in that direction but hey, I’m not Einstein.  Oh good, she is once again going to throw the parents of stabby under the bus.  Stabby doesn’t like to play the victim?  Somebody slipped me a mickey didn’t they?

So, just to make sure we are all on the same page, you can commit any crime you want as long as you are artistically inclined, you have hair, you can read, and you pretend to have a fuck to give about anything that is socially relevant. All you special people don’t deserve the death penalty, no matter what you do.   Everybody clear?  Mmmmmkay.

Judge Stephens has for the last time charged the Jury and we are officially on verdict watch.

I’m Ready for my Close-up Mr Demille.

May 21, 2013

If this isn’t over today, I’M gonna pull a Stabby – Arizona. Kelly       OMFG MY BRAIN- Arizona.  In House Psychic.    PLEASE don’t ask for death, Please don’t ask for Death-Arizona.  SATAN

I swear I can hear the music from “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly in my head.  Someone, anyone, MAKE. IT. STOP!

Everyone seems to be in attendance for what I fervently hope is the very last stand of Stabby.  Jenny From the Cell Block and Alfred E. Nurmi seem to have the exact same fuck my life looks on their faces.  It’s sooooo cute.  I think they may have miss-placed the bong because they are looking like they are in attendance at their own funeral.

Stabby is dressed in her best mourning ensemble so she is comfortable as she bends over and kisses her ass goodbye.

There is currently an ex-parte (out of the presence of the prosecutor) hearing going on.  I have a theory that Stabby is planning to stand up and ask for the death penalty in hopes that reverse psychology works.  Either that or she is planning a rest of her life statement and they are currently moving the contents of all the jurors houses to the Maricopa county courthouse.  Nothing would surprise me at this point.

Now Stabby is in the courtroom and all the attorneys are in chambers.  Jesus Fuck exactly how long can one stall court proceedings.  Can she just do this till she dies of old age?  Any bets on whether she tries?

The vet took one look at Juan and said “screw this I’m out” picked up his dart gun left the building.

Esteban Flores looks concerned about the mental state of the mighty pit bull.  He has pulled out a packing case of good boy treats and is trying to distract Juan with his favorite chew toy.  Hey, how did they get someone to make a squeaky Nurmi toy?  Awwww, they are playing tug of war with it right now.

And Stabby is taking the podium.  She is talking about the things she can do to better PRISON society.   OMG A book club? Recycling?  Survivor T-Shirts?  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  How about ladies that lunch and the Jeffrey Dahmer School of Culinary Arts?  She has managed to not only NOT apologize to anyone, she of course has turned it around so it is allllllll about her.  She might as well be standing up in front of City Council asking for a zoning variance.  And there are pictures.  Yay.  Pictures of the narcissist when she was little, pictures of the narcissist when she was a teenager, pictures of the narcissist when she was a young adult, pictures of the narcissist with her boyfriend, pictures of the family.  I wonder how that one got in there?  Pictures of the narcissist just posing cuz she’s gorgeous.  OK, I gotta go take a Gravol.  Take it away in-house Psychic.

Do I have too?  Why can’t you just keep typing?    *Sigh*  Hey everyone, it’s me the in-house Psychic.  While Kelly is out taking a Gravol I will try to get a reading on the Stabby one.Wow, that was just like the Oscars I bet.  Except without the statue.  I wonder if Jenny from the Cell Block made me a Statue.   I deserve a statue!!   OMG that was soooooo fun.  Look at all the jurors looking at me.  I was totally awesome.  My hair looks amazing.  I look so hot.  I told Jenny I wanted the fucking ball gown, and I was totally right.  God why won’t these idiots just bow down to my amazing 119.  I wonder if they bought that shit about actually feeling bad for the family?  Of course they did.  I am Jodi Arias.  I am a one hundred percent believable psychopath.  I AM THAT GOOD.  In every way possible.  Hahahaha.  I am totally going to get to live.  I think they will overturn the verdict and let me go.  I will then immediately get that two movie deal I am negotiating and I will guest star as myself on Law and Order-Stabby Intent. My book will then come out and I will be a billionaire.   God I am so smart.  I can see that the jurors haven’t yet realized I trace all of my lovely “works of art”.  They can see how talented I am.  And pretty.……………….

Ahhhh that’s it, I’m out.  Kelly, I am fairly positive I am going to vomit, so pass the Gravol and take your stupid blog back .  Fucking job!!

Uh, thank you in-house Psychic.  Wow.  Someone obviously has not yet received the memo on the devastation they have brought down on so many lives.  Once again, everything is all about her.  She hasn’t met her niece, she won’t be able to go to her sisters wedding.  Bitch you slaughtered a human being, what the fuck are you talking about?   Don’t kill me because of me, don’t kill me because of them?  Really?  After all of these delays, all the crap, that was the best you could do?

Judge Stephens just finished charging the Jury and called an early lunch, which brought Alfred E. Nurmi to immediate attention from the nap he was having in his barkalounger.

I am going to post this and I will come back for closing arguments later.  I will be back with my second blog of the day sometime before midnight.

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