If this isn’t over today, I’M gonna pull a Stabby – Arizona. Kelly OMFG MY BRAIN- Arizona. In House Psychic. PLEASE don’t ask for death, Please don’t ask for Death-Arizona. SATAN
I swear I can hear the music from “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly in my head. Someone, anyone, MAKE. IT. STOP!
Everyone seems to be in attendance for what I fervently hope is the very last stand of Stabby. Jenny From the Cell Block and Alfred E. Nurmi seem to have the exact same fuck my life looks on their faces. It’s sooooo cute. I think they may have miss-placed the bong because they are looking like they are in attendance at their own funeral.
Stabby is dressed in her best mourning ensemble so she is comfortable as she bends over and kisses her ass goodbye.
There is currently an ex-parte (out of the presence of the prosecutor) hearing going on. I have a theory that Stabby is planning to stand up and ask for the death penalty in hopes that reverse psychology works. Either that or she is planning a rest of her life statement and they are currently moving the contents of all the jurors houses to the Maricopa county courthouse. Nothing would surprise me at this point.
Now Stabby is in the courtroom and all the attorneys are in chambers. Jesus Fuck exactly how long can one stall court proceedings. Can she just do this till she dies of old age? Any bets on whether she tries?
The vet took one look at Juan and said “screw this I’m out” picked up his dart gun left the building.
Esteban Flores looks concerned about the mental state of the mighty pit bull. He has pulled out a packing case of good boy treats and is trying to distract Juan with his favorite chew toy. Hey, how did they get someone to make a squeaky Nurmi toy? Awwww, they are playing tug of war with it right now.
And Stabby is taking the podium. She is talking about the things she can do to better PRISON society. OMG A book club? Recycling? Survivor T-Shirts? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? How about ladies that lunch and the Jeffrey Dahmer School of Culinary Arts? She has managed to not only NOT apologize to anyone, she of course has turned it around so it is allllllll about her. She might as well be standing up in front of City Council asking for a zoning variance. And there are pictures. Yay. Pictures of the narcissist when she was little, pictures of the narcissist when she was a teenager, pictures of the narcissist when she was a young adult, pictures of the narcissist with her boyfriend, pictures of the family. I wonder how that one got in there? Pictures of the narcissist just posing cuz she’s gorgeous. OK, I gotta go take a Gravol. Take it away in-house Psychic.
Do I have too? Why can’t you just keep typing? *Sigh* Hey everyone, it’s me the in-house Psychic. While Kelly is out taking a Gravol I will try to get a reading on the Stabby one.Wow, that was just like the Oscars I bet. Except without the statue. I wonder if Jenny from the Cell Block made me a Statue. I deserve a statue!! OMG that was soooooo fun. Look at all the jurors looking at me. I was totally awesome. My hair looks amazing. I look so hot. I told Jenny I wanted the fucking ball gown, and I was totally right. God why won’t these idiots just bow down to my amazing 119. I wonder if they bought that shit about actually feeling bad for the family? Of course they did. I am Jodi Arias. I am a one hundred percent believable psychopath. I AM THAT GOOD. In every way possible. Hahahaha. I am totally going to get to live. I think they will overturn the verdict and let me go. I will then immediately get that two movie deal I am negotiating and I will guest star as myself on Law and Order-Stabby Intent. My book will then come out and I will be a billionaire. God I am so smart. I can see that the jurors haven’t yet realized I trace all of my lovely “works of art”. They can see how talented I am. And pretty.……………….
Ahhhh that’s it, I’m out. Kelly, I am fairly positive I am going to vomit, so pass the Gravol and take your stupid blog back . Fucking job!!
Uh, thank you in-house Psychic. Wow. Someone obviously has not yet received the memo on the devastation they have brought down on so many lives. Once again, everything is all about her. She hasn’t met her niece, she won’t be able to go to her sisters wedding. Bitch you slaughtered a human being, what the fuck are you talking about? Don’t kill me because of me, don’t kill me because of them? Really? After all of these delays, all the crap, that was the best you could do?
Judge Stephens just finished charging the Jury and called an early lunch, which brought Alfred E. Nurmi to immediate attention from the nap he was having in his barkalounger.
I am going to post this and I will come back for closing arguments later. I will be back with my second blog of the day sometime before midnight.