In dawns early gray light
Imaginary things lurking
I recall the monsters from night
Still there somewhere on the precipice
Monsters are not real they were all quick to assure me
But they lied or just didn’t know
It wasn’t the monsters in the dark
It was the ones at the kitchen table that ate souls
Monsters can live anywhere
In bottles, in needles, in folded bindles of powder
But they always come out to hurt and maim
But never their masters, only the ones chained to them
Monsters don’t exist masters of the monsters chant
But they do, I’ve seen them, I’ve danced with them
They look like people, but with guns and knives weapons they come equipped with
And the monsters break you down break your bones break you, till they win
The monsters always win, even when you beg for them not to be let out
The master of the monsters hears their call, you know you want me
And they waiver, ever after they promise they won’t let them hurt you anymore
And the monsters grin that horrible grin as they snap, break, cave in your head, or eat your soul
The master of the monsters is always sorry after, but not really.
The words are meaningless, hollow and you know the monster is only briefly tethered
It will be back later that night, or maybe that afternoon and you can’t hide forever
Eventually it comes for you and it devours you a little bit more
The only saving grace is the master of the monster is so enamored that they don’t see
That the monster is destroying them too, and destroying those that might save the master
They wake up one day and wonder what happened to all the years and where all the children are
Dead, even the live ones are dead but the monster has fixed it so the master doesn’t understand
I’m not afraid of monsters anymore, they have put upon me every evil known to man
They can’t hurt me anymore, the monsters lost me a long time ago.
I found a place they couldn’t find me, so deep inside myself that nothing got through
No more pain, no more despair, no more anything, just a walking talking shell that didn’t care
They monsters are dead but the casualties were so high, so unnecessary
Brothers hanging from doorknobs, brothers bleeding out in dingy bathrooms
Brothers with holes the size of coconuts in the back of their heads
And me, who died before any of them, but got to watch the carnage anyway
I finally came out of my hiding place, terrified but I came out
All my monsters are gone, except the ones in my head and I work hard to exorcise them
I came out of my safe place just to see if I was capable of feeling anything and I was
But I’m still scared every day the monsters will get me.