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Monsters- a Poem because I can

In dawns early gray light

Imaginary things lurking

I recall the monsters from night

Still there somewhere on the precipice

 

Monsters are not real they were all quick to assure me

But they lied or just didn’t know

It wasn’t the monsters in the dark

It was the ones at the kitchen table that ate souls

 

Monsters can live anywhere

In bottles, in needles, in folded bindles of powder

But they always come out to hurt and maim

But never their masters, only the ones chained to them

 

Monsters don’t exist masters of the monsters chant

But they do, I’ve seen them, I’ve danced with them

They look like people, but with guns and knives weapons they come equipped with

And the monsters break you down break your bones break you, till they win

 

The monsters always win, even when you beg for them not to be let out

The master of the monsters hears their call, you know you want me

And they waiver, ever after they promise they won’t let them hurt you anymore

And the monsters grin that horrible grin as they snap, break, cave in your head, or eat your soul

 

The master of the monsters is always sorry after, but not really.

The words are meaningless, hollow and you know the monster is only briefly tethered

It will be back later that night, or maybe that afternoon and you can’t hide forever

Eventually it comes for you and it devours you a little bit more

 

The only saving grace is the master of the monster is so enamored that they don’t see

That the monster is destroying them too, and destroying those that might save the master

They wake up one day and wonder what happened to all the years and where all the children are

Dead, even the live ones are dead but the monster has fixed it so the master doesn’t understand

 

I’m not afraid of monsters anymore, they have put upon me every evil known to man

They can’t hurt me anymore, the monsters lost me a long time ago.

I found a place they couldn’t find me, so deep inside myself that nothing got through

No more pain, no more despair, no more anything, just a walking talking shell that didn’t care

 

They monsters are dead but the casualties were so high, so unnecessary

Brothers hanging from doorknobs, brothers bleeding out in dingy bathrooms

Brothers with holes the size of coconuts in the back of their heads

And me, who died before any of them, but got to watch the carnage anyway

 

I finally came out of my hiding place, terrified but I came out

All my monsters are gone, except the ones in my head and I work hard to exorcise them

I came out of my safe place just to see if I was capable of feeling anything and I was

But I’m still scared every day the monsters will get me.

 

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