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Stabby’s Bangs Said to Say Hi.

Typing with one hand because my left ring finger is kinda jacked – Arizona

Oh hai kids. Todays blog will be brought to you by Fakor eyewear in remembrance of Stabby’s glasses. Sadly, we were unable to negotiate a hostage trade for them. I want you to know we did our best. We offered, poprocks, tootsie pops, a couple of forged documents, 2 strawberry frapachinos and a penicillin shot in exchange for the glasses. They countered with the locations of Nurmi’s and all the other chairs of the court which obviously we could not do. Sorry Stabby’s glasses. We tried our best.

Since we were unable to secure their release, Stabby’s glasses are up for auction for a starting bid of 500 dollars. Net proceeds to be donated to an unnamed “charity.” This is on the Auntie Stabby run site as opposed to the J4Stabby site which is the one run by our Ice Cream party/Vegas loving friend Lisa Schilling and Jason the Grifter/Piece of human Garbage Weber. The best part of this auction is that you have to put up a “refundable” $250 in order to bid. I have a couple of problems with this auction. The first one being net proceeds. If there are net proceeds that means that there were gross proceeds. While I agree that it’s Stabby so there is likely gross everything, I am very curious as to what her overhead costs were for this auction. Now, I have not attended the Dyson School of Applied Economics which may/may not actually exist, but I do know what gross and net mean. I have also noticed that on all of Stabby’s totally original tracings of other actual artworks, the same verbiage appears. So, what are we deducting from what we actually bring in (gross) to come up with what actually gets donated (net)? Stabby’s eye glasses would have been paid for by the State of Arizona during her incarceration so we can’t deduct the cost of those. Auntie Stabby has already said she refused to take an administration fee to look after Stabby’s stuff, so nope not that. I’m pretty sure ChaCha just smuggled the glasses out of jail so they didn’t have to be mailed or picked up by Auntie stabby so there is no overhead there either. Odd. The only other thing I can think if is the actual auction costs which I am guessing are going to be right around $500 or up. Wow, I solved a mystery.

Stabby was in court today so Judge Stephens could remove her as her own attorney and re-appoint Alfred E. Nurmi as her lawyer. She also said there would be no ex-parte hearing which totally pissed Stabby off. While I am starting to really dislike Judge Stephens she did get a few brownie points for the ex-parte refusal.

Stabby has a new hairdo. Since trial might actually be looming, Stabby actually had to cut her hair in case anybody came out of the fog long enough to remember all that crap about donating it for wigs for cancer patients. It actually worked out well for her because she looked even uglier than she did during the first trial. Prison food is also not agreeing with poor Stabby. Without her make-up artists you can see that Stabby has developed quite the zit flare-up. She could not help but gaze longingly into the pool camera during the entire proceeding.

Next we moved on to the camera motion. Our valiant little pitbull Juan Martinez has finally weighed in on the camera question. Since it is entirely possible that Juan hates Stabby more than anybody else on the planet, he decided that if there was a way to fuck with her, he would find it and use it. Today he came down on the side of having the PENALTY PHASE retrial aired. For those of you that don’t remember, up until now the state has taken no position on airing the retrial. Today he stated that it is the prosecutors opinion that the felon simply wants to control what information is or is not released publicly as proved by her giving several interviews throughout the trial including an interview right after the verdict. He sat down and Judge Stephens threw him a good-boy treat.

David Bodney, the very good attorney who represents several media outlets argued strenuously to allow the camera’s once again into the courtroom. He made many excellent points, stating that court proceedings are supposed to be public not cloaked in secrecy. He said that Stabby herself was the one who willingly and with seeming glee jumped onto the (“Yay, a camera I am going to be so famous”) bandwagon and the public should not be punished because she can’t control herself. He also said that to not allow them is frankly unconstitutional sighting supreme court decisions about camera’s in the courtroom. He asked for anyone to offer one bit of case law that argued differently. I personally want this trial aired on TV for very obvious reasons, but that aside Mr. Bodney is correct. He wants the ruling amended to a 30 minute delay between sessions which seems fairly equitable to me. Oh look, I brought the big book of words out again. YAY!!

Nurmi was next on the lets see if we can just argue this motion until she dies of natural causes train, but since Nurmi is totally over this whole mess, he didn’t really argue to strenuously or coherently for that matter. He said something about having assured the mitigations witnesses (really? They found more than one?) that there would be a media blackout. He said he was trying to protect Stabby from herself. He said that just because there were not enough seats in the courtroom was no reason that the re-trial needed to be aired to the world which to me says that the people that can get seats are somehow more deserving of seeing the trial. Apparently I was not the only one who saw it that way as Mr. Bodney also has a huge problem with that statement. While Alfred E. Nurmi is once again the first chair, the arguments he presented today were insignificant enough to show that he isn’t exactly thrilled about it. Everybody now feel bad for Nurmi. Or don’t, either or is good.

In other exciting Stabby news, she has waived her right to be at tomorrows hearing to go over jury selection procedure. Jury selection is still on to start on September 29th but I am not holding my breath. Expect either another “suicide attempt”, hospitalization for a brain tumor or a switch to unable to proceed due to her multiple personalities not being able to agree on what course of action to take. Someone tweeted for Stabby that it is taking new migraine medication so I’m betting on the brain tumor.

That’s it for tonight everybody. We have shit developing regarding ChaCha Delarosa and how deeply she is connected to the whole Stabby money collection scam. I will as always keep you updated.

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17 Responses to Stabby’s Bangs Said to Say Hi.

  1. Deb says:

    You know, for a law school dean/professor/administrator, you make a damn good journalist, too! 😉

  2. reallybigmeandog says:

    I’m thinking of branching into economics/begging scams on the internet as well as perhaps the RBMD school of art. ROFLMAO

  3. susan david says:

    I love reading your blogs…lots of info with a twist of fun!

  4. Slammy says:

    You make all things Arias so much more fun!

  5. reallybigmeandog says:

    Hai Slammy! Thank you so much. I can’t seem to help myself roflmao.

  6. Nicole says:

    I love your blog! My 10 year old son every time he sees stabby on tv he sighs and yells at the tv o put her in prison. Lol. Keep it up. I can use the laughs and a good read too

  7. reallybigmeandog says:

    Thanks Nicole. I promise as long as there is Stabby, there will be blogs.

  8. Lacey says:

    I love it..☺

  9. Noreen Simak says:

    Hi, I think of her as “the Slitter”.I am so hoping the judge takes her down!!!

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Oh Hai!! Welcome to the insanity. I think the judge knocked her down a peg with the refusal for the ex-parte today. They are almost always granted so it was kinda funny…..okay it was really funny.

  10. reallybigmeandog says:

    Hi Lacey. Yay! I love writing it.

  11. pinkpumps25 says:

    Funny read. Thanks for the laughs.

  12. sandymetter says:

    Awesome as usual! Were you in the courtroom Kelly?

  13. reallybigmeandog says:

    Thanks Sandy. Nope. When you have an in house Psychic, you don’t need to go anywhere.

  14. Sassy says:

    You are just what I needed to have a great laugh! Your sense of humor is delicious!

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