Maybe Stabby and the girls can add this to the book club selection – Arizona
Hai everybody. So, we were talking on twitter last night and it was brought to my attention that Stabby might be able to make use of a book that held actual facts. Since RBMD Publishing is dedicated to public service spoiler (not really) I thought it would be prudent to present The Big Book of Facts and Shit. These are actual facts, as opposed to the shit Stabby made up in court, or things that have been thrown around the internet willy-nilly.
1. De-Edify is not a word, has never been a word and will probably never be a word in the history of ever because it makes…..no…….sense. (see what I did there)
2. Travis had a dog that according to Stabby barked LOUDLY and VIGOROUSLY whenever someone came into the house. If you were say doing something that you didn’t want anybody else to ever, ever know about, wouldn’t you have stopped doing it if your dog started barking LOUDLY and VIGOROUSLY? Yeah, me too.
3. Tracing a piece of art that someone already created does not make Stabby an artist. It makes Stabby able to follow lines. I know it’s a subtle difference but it’s there.
4. PayPal will buckle to outside pressure if it is applied hard enough. Just, you know, for when stabby auctions her herpes sore or something.
5. The press doesn’t believe Stabby any more than we do. They pretend to like Stabby because it is making them a shit ton of money.
6. Brushing up on the difference between infer and imply before the start of the retrial would be a great idea. Just to keep ones Einstein like mind sharp and shit.
7. I can write, twitter, and find out shit contemporaneously.
8. Pissing off your attorney so you can have another 15 minutes of camera time is NEVER a good idea.
9. My 2007 Sony Camera has a red date/time stamp.
10. Stalking is a criminal offense. Just sayin’
11. The average Doggie Door Frame is 10.5 x 16.5 inches.
12. It is almost impossible to buy a fresh Christmas tree in September.
13. Placide Cappeau de Roquemaure wrote Oh Holy Night. His ghost may or may not have requested that it never be performed again.
14. There are 380 calories in a small Strawberry Frappuccino.
15. Until right now, I had no idea how to spell Frappuccino and it is spelled wrong in every other one of my blogs. #thethingsyoulearn
16. Whoredom is defined as the practice of whoring : prostitution faithless, unworthy, or idolatrous practices or pursuits.
17. Whoredoms is NOT a word…………unless you’re Mormon. It is DEFINITELY a word if you are Mormon.
18. Not putting your car in neutral when towing may cause severe engine damage.
19. You can rent a Ninja by the hour. True story. I’m not kidding. https://www.ninjathat.com/faqs
20. The average court chair costs $385 dollars.
21. Nauseatingly enough, semen is good for facials as it is a natural moisturizer. Aaand I just threw up in my mouth a little.
22. Sony Cameras do not disintegrate when you launder them. I know right. Who knew?
23. Scrambled (pig) brains fittingly enough are considered a delicacy in many parts of the world. I’ve had them. Tastes like brains.
24. KY has a tendency to dry out but can be re-activated with saliva (there is another thing I didn’t ever need to know)
25. Walmart can fuck up a perfectly good lie.