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Stabby Needs Her Glasses Back.

September 19, 2014

Writing my grocery list in pencil and hanging it in a gallery – Arizona

Hai everybody. It’s me, Stabby hater extraordinaire Kelly. Seeing as how I am a Scot born and bred, I have spent a large portion of the night focused on the referendum. I’m on the fence about whether I want independence or not. Part of me is worried about the economic implications of succession and part of me wants to paint my face blue and ride a horse out onto the battlefield. part of me thinks I should put away my Braveheart DVD and go to bed. I am very happy that Scotland has a chance to attain something Stabby will never have again. FREEDOM!! Alba Gu Brath!

Stabby has fired up all the engines on the mitigating factors jet and is currently flying it into the stratosphere. She is donating money to every goddamn place that will accept money from a CONVICTED MURDERESS, she has donated her hair to mops of love, and now she has sold a self portrait so she can donate the murder money. The only problem is that Stabby can’t see her reflection in her stainless steel toilet bowl very well. I think it is because she tried to hock her totally not fake eyeglasses. Here is the pic she came up with.

Stabby self portrait not the one

As you can see, there are some serious problems with the picture. Really, the only thing she got right was the flat head and the dead look in her eyes. I am shocked that an artist of this caliber……….Bwahahahahahahaha(OMG I’m sorry I could not type that without bursting out laughing; very unprofessional of me) Anyway, there are people out there who only want to help others perfect their art and someone took the time to try and help Stabby fix hers. They put in some of the stuff Stabby forgot, which I think was very kind of them. This is what they came up with.

Stabby self portrait real

Please notice that while this picture is also not perfect, it is a much more realistic representation of Stabby. The self serving smirk. The dead look in the slightly crossed eyes. The scraggly bangs. The asymmetrical face. The missing weapons. Of course for the picture to be complete we would need to add bad acne and some horns but this was the much better try in my opinion.

Still working on all things Stabby. Hoping to bring you an update on the whole J4Stabby mess and how ChaCha ties into it all. Have a lovely night kids.

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