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Stabby Needs Her Glasses Back.

Writing my grocery list in pencil and hanging it in a gallery – Arizona

Hai everybody. It’s me, Stabby hater extraordinaire Kelly. Seeing as how I am a Scot born and bred, I have spent a large portion of the night focused on the referendum. I’m on the fence about whether I want independence or not. Part of me is worried about the economic implications of succession and part of me wants to paint my face blue and ride a horse out onto the battlefield. part of me thinks I should put away my Braveheart DVD and go to bed. I am very happy that Scotland has a chance to attain something Stabby will never have again. FREEDOM!! Alba Gu Brath!

Stabby has fired up all the engines on the mitigating factors jet and is currently flying it into the stratosphere. She is donating money to every goddamn place that will accept money from a CONVICTED MURDERESS, she has donated her hair to mops of love, and now she has sold a self portrait so she can donate the murder money. The only problem is that Stabby can’t see her reflection in her stainless steel toilet bowl very well. I think it is because she tried to hock her totally not fake eyeglasses. Here is the pic she came up with.

Stabby self portrait not the one

As you can see, there are some serious problems with the picture. Really, the only thing she got right was the flat head and the dead look in her eyes. I am shocked that an artist of this caliber……….Bwahahahahahahaha(OMG I’m sorry I could not type that without bursting out laughing; very unprofessional of me) Anyway, there are people out there who only want to help others perfect their art and someone took the time to try and help Stabby fix hers. They put in some of the stuff Stabby forgot, which I think was very kind of them. This is what they came up with.

Stabby self portrait real

Please notice that while this picture is also not perfect, it is a much more realistic representation of Stabby. The self serving smirk. The dead look in the slightly crossed eyes. The scraggly bangs. The asymmetrical face. The missing weapons. Of course for the picture to be complete we would need to add bad acne and some horns but this was the much better try in my opinion.

Still working on all things Stabby. Hoping to bring you an update on the whole J4Stabby mess and how ChaCha ties into it all. Have a lovely night kids.

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50 Responses to Stabby Needs Her Glasses Back.

  1. liz says:

    Ha! Her “drawing” looks like she traced a newspaper clipping of herself.

  2. Tina says:

    Excellent, as always, Thank you Kelly =)

  3. Deb says:

    Kelly, you are so talented and witty…I love to play the devil’s advocate with you (and with this she-demon, the term really fits) here on your blog, just to see what inspired feats of literary genius you come up with! You put some much needed humor in this horrible fiasco…so that we don’t all lose our minds waiting for this sub-human to finally fade into oblivion ❤

  4. Joan Soap says:

    Hai Kelly, you are hilarious! I’m having a laugh fest reading through your past and present blogs, and I can’t wait to see what you come up with for your next one!

  5. BlueWhiteRed says:

    Thank you so much for your entire blog. I am sick in bed and somehow found this blog last night. My Rottweiler looked on helplessly as cough-laugh-spasms weny in for hours. But, the quiet posts made me bawl. I hope you are able to move forward. Thanks for making me feel better. Semper Meliora.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      What a nice thing to say. I’m really glad I made you laugh. Best medicine you know. I’m really glad I made you feel better. I have a Rottweiler too. His name is Bruno.

  6. Vickie says:

    Hi Kelly, I have to tell you as a true victim of abuse and probably one of the biggest reasons this bitch pisses me off is how she has the absolute biggest twatass to use this as her defense. Sorry I went off track, I just wanted you to know that I haven’t laughed this hard in a very long time VERY LONG TIME lololol. Your have a gift, I truly mean it. I lost my 2 pups and my mom in 7 months. My tears were my only outlet till I found your blogs (thanks to Juan Martinez prosecutor group on FB) I check my mail several times a day looking for a new blog from you. Thank you so much for sharing. It takes an amazing person to make me laugh. Big hug for you and from my 12 year old that sees me smile again ❤

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Vickie. That is what did it for me with Stabby too. Every time a woman makes a false allegation of abuse it makes it harder for those of us that have suffered and survived or have yet to get out. I am really touched by what you wrote almost to the point where I’m speechless, and believe me, I’m never speechless. Thank you so much for allowing me to make you laugh. That is the reward for me. Being able to make people laugh. There will always be blogs on Stabby or somebody like STabby because unfortunately they are always out there.

      • Vickie says:

        You’re a sweet heart ! Lets hope and pray for all the victims of abuse may they find the courage to say ENOUGH had to say that word cause I caught that movie on TV last night. Wow what a ninja Jennifer Lopez Turned into huh? Well as you can see my mind tends to jump around… Still laughing over the ikea protection program thanks a zillion Kelly ❤

      • reallybigmeandog says:

        Thank you Vicki.

  7. sillyhaha71 says:

    Putting Stabby’s self-portrait with the drawing of Stabby really highlights how badly Jodi draws.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      That was exactly what I thought too.

    • Deb says:

      Silly, you’re right! Her ‘self-portrait’ is as lifeless as her eyes…she has no soul – nothing that makes her part of the human race. The other drawing made her come to life…albeit as a psycho, but she has some life to her in that other picture 😉

  8. Vickie says:

    I would love to see a drawing of her bent crooked jacked up finger to go with her bent crooked jacked up face. I cut my pinkie on glass many many years ago and since then my pinkie won’t straighten out. There’s no way she broke that finger. First it would hurt like hell. If anyone broke a bone, you know how excruciating the pain is and if I’m not mistaken she went to work with a broke finger AND made a bazillion margaritas? NFW oh that reminds me of something but latter on that ;D

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Having had several broken fingers not to mention several dozen other broken bones I agree that there is no way she’d be using that hand to serve drinks if it was freshly broken. A deep cut could have damaged the tendon but a cut bad enough to do that would have required medical attention. The pain is very bad when a tendon is cut, plus the blood in a cut that deep would require medical attention. Just another lie.

      • Tina says:

        Exactly, I cut my big toe on a broken glass while wading into the water in Folsom Lake in California, and it bled so damn bad we had a beach towel wrapped around it and it bled through, my toe was cut through to the tendon (severed tendon) and it will no longer bend! Any word on cameras or whether media will be allowed to broadcast at trial? Thanks =)

      • reallybigmeandog says:

        Hai Tina. As soon as I hear, you guys will know. Promise.

  9. Vickie says:

    Sadly no coverage until after the verdict but tweeting will be allowed

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Yup. On a good note I think I still grind out a blog every day or so.

      • sillyhaha71 says:

        Oh, thank dog. Kelly, America NEEDS you to help us through the batshit insanity of Penalty Phase 2.0. Everyone needs you. But we Americans can’t get away from Stabby.

      • reallybigmeandog says:

        Hai Silly! You are so sweet. Thank you. Validation is a wonderful thing. I love it that you love my blog.

  10. Tina says:

    Thank you ladies! This Judge is gettin on my last damn nerve, errrr

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Problem is, she just created an appealable issue all on her own. Now stabby can say she didn’t get a fair trial the first time because of the cameras.

  11. Vickie says:

    Oh well maybe it’s better for me. Seriously my bp went through the roof with all the sidebars and objections. Not to mention the same commercials over and over. Thank god for fast forward. Kelly ? Do you think Stabby is happy about the judges decision ? Or do you think she was secretly hoping to be in front of the cameras again? I never know with her. And thanks so much for yesterdays lesson 😀 still trying to get up to speed and maneuver around this WordPress …..

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      I think the way the judge worded the ruling she is probably ecstatic. I would be. She has a real appealable issue now regarding being convicted.

      • Tina says:

        Well, she can appeal til the damn cows come home, her case is so overwhelmingly full of guilt in the premeditated first degree sense, no one can actually believe her lame ass abuse story, PLEEAASE!! Well, except for those few horny minions she has jerking off to her canyons pic, LMAO

      • reallybigmeandog says:

        Tina: Unfortunately it has nothing to do with guilt or innocence and only on whether or not she received a fair trial. This is in my opinion due to the wording an appealable issue.

      • mommy3zips says:

        Wow now I’m really pissed off

      • reallybigmeandog says:

        Hai Mommy. We are all pissed off.

      • Mommy3zips says:

        I just feel so bad for the Alexander family, this judge is always ruling in Stabby’s favor. She could have said no cameras during the mitigation witness testimony. But nooooooo, she needs to be gone along with Stabby

  12. Vickie says:

    Yea I just read her ruling but Tina is right, the facts don’t change so she can appeal all she wants the end result will be the same.

  13. Mommy3zips says:

    Whoa mommy3zips is me Vickie, I used that name when i registered on wordpress but it just went through today?

  14. Mommy3zips says:

    Excuse my ignorance Kelly but if she wins on appeal, that means she gets a new trial? And then what? She can change her defense to temp insanity or whatever else she manages to contour up in her sick twisted flat head? Possibly even get a lesser sentence like manslaughter ? Please say it isn’t so ;'(

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      If she were to get her conviction overturned and get a new trial, I would expect she would go for Temp Insanity. I would. And yes, in theory she could get a lessor sentence. I doubt it would happen, I can’t even really see her getting an appeal but it is absolutely possible. It would be more likely for ineffective council since Nurmi has been trying to quit this bitch since 2010. Unfortunately, there are appealable issues, lots of them(this trial has been a mess) and in all likelihood, one of them will work.

      • sillyhaha71 says:

        Temp insanity wouldn’t work. Too much evidence of premeditation. In addition, Jodi’s psychometric tests rule out a successful insanity defense. The defense couldn’t find a credible doctor to diagnose Stabby with PTSD. They won’t find one to support a diagnosis of temp insanity.

      • reallybigmeandog says:

        I agree that she wouldn’t pull it off, but you can pay experts to say just about anything (case in point LaToilette) and I don’t put trying it past her.

  15. Slammy says:

    I love how lively it is getting on your site! That drawing is hideous for sure. Some of her more ardent fans are probably picturing her with no teeth to go with that flat head while holding a beer. It’d be the closest she would ever come to being the perfect woman!

    Truly, Kelly, your humor makes my sides hurt. Keep em coming.

  16. Rita says:

    Hey Kelly, I found your blog via Jensdiaries – while I’ve enjoyed each article, your comment, “I am shocked that an artist of this caliber……….” Had me laughing out loud not only when I read it last night but every time I think of it I smile – we could take the statement, replace the word artist with just about any other absurdity and stay amused for hours…. “I am shocked that a waitress, photographer, defendant, gun discoverer, knife finder, fog sufferer, gas can returner, phone sex recorder, abstinence observer with Darryl, love sack aficionado, of this caliber……….
    The list goes on and on…..
    Great job!
    Rita

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Rita and welcome to my madness. I’ve been writing these since the beginning of the first trial. If you haven’t seen them just scroll on down or you can just pick a month. I also write about other stuff, but mostly trials.

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