Really Big Mean Dog Presents: Sick Fuck Saturday; The Bernardo Murders

Let us dust off some of the oldies just to get Stabby and the Stabbyites out of our brains for a bit-Planet Earth

Hai everybody. It is I, number 1 Stabby hater, Law School Professor and Dean of fuckery, Really Big Mean Dog head of Publishing and Auntie Really Big Mean Dog. I hope that each and every one of you are enjoying your weekend. I hope that our new segment, Sick Fuck Saturdays serves its intended purpose and gets that thing out of our brains for a bit and I sincerely hope that some of you will take me up on my offer to guest blog.


With that I bring you our first installment of “Sick Fuck Saturdays” Paul Bernardo and Karla Holmolka- The Ken and Barbie Murders.

This one, I am embarrassed to say is right from my very own country.

This is Sick Fuck Paul Bernardo. bernardo mugshots and this is sick fuck Karla  Holmolka holmolka

To understand how any of this happened you have to take the two halves before you make the whole. Paul Bernardo was a fairly disturbed young man who put on a façade for the outside world much like Ted Bundy. He was definitely what is known as a compartmentalizer. He could effectively put respective parts of his psyche into boxes in his brain and keep them separate from each other. Paul Bernardo was and is a sick fuck. Very sick. He started out as a peeping tom, looking into women’s windows as they undressed at night and jerking off at his leisure. He was seen only once that is known and a neighbor gentleman ran him off.

In 1987 I had just come back from a stint in Toronto working for a car dealership. Women began being attacked in Scarborough. Vicious rapes. Well, all rapes are vicious, but these were especially heinous. The thing is though, he was always very careful about telling the women not to try and look at him, to keep their eyes closed etc. Of course a few victims got a look at the sick disgusting piece of shit and eventually a composite sketch was done and printed in the newspaper. The main thing to remember is that of the 19 women who reported being raped, not one of them ended up dead. Beaten up a little and certainly scarred for life, but NOT DEAD.

Three months prior to the beginning of the rapes, Karla Holmolka wandered into a restaurant to get something to eat and in a completely chance meeting came across the filling to her Oreo, Paul Bernardo. Holmolka, just 17 at the time was sexually promiscuous and much like someone else we know, more than willing to do whatever, whenever to ensure that she got her man. They went back to her hotel room not even hours after meeting and got down to business much to the annoyance of her roommate, who really didn’t have anywhere else to go to avoid having to listen to them go at it in front of an audience.

They dated from that day forward and eventually Sick fuck asked other sick fuck to marry him. She went crazy with happiness since this had indeed been the game plan all along.

Have I mentioned the part where Bernardo was a sick fuck? He seemed to have a bug up his ass about virgins for some reason. Like, he wanted them, all of them. He was pissed off that Holmolka had not been a virgin. At some point close to the wedding, Bernardo discovered that he had quite a fondness for Karla’s younger sister Tammy. He thought he might love her. I think he loved the part where nobody had touched her at that point. She was indeed a virgin. Karla was losing her mind over it. She was scared he was going to call of the wedding that she had had to perform more and more perverse sexual acts to procure, she was jealous of her younger sister, and she was willing to do whatever she had to do to make sure her dream wedding happened. To appease his desire for her virgin baby sister, she offered her up as a sort of Christmas present. Karla worked at a veterinary clinic and she procured the drugs that would knock out her baby sister so that sick fuck 1 could do whatever it was that he wanted to do to her. Tammy was knocked out using crushed up halcion in a couple of drinks, and then once she passed out Karla put a rag soaked with Halothane, a veterinary drug over her face. A drug that is meant to only be used as an aerosol under constant monitoring was smashed into the face of the already unconscious teenager. Bernardo raped her vaginally and anally and then sick fuck 2 took a turn on her own baby sister. It was only as the human piece of shit Bernardo was getting ready for his second turn that the winner of sister of infinity realized that Tammy was not breathing. She had vomited because she had consumed alcohol. Anyone with a medical background knows that you cannot generally anesthetize anybody who has consumed anything for this very reason. She vomited, aspirated and asphyxiated. Of course sick and sicker both panicked because they had just killed a person after all. When the police and ambulance services arrived sister of the decade was laundering the comforter that they had torn up her sister on, and they had quickly hidden the video tape of what had transpired. Because in Canada our police are not the brightest bulbs on the tree, they took them at their word about what happened and Tammy was laid to rest without an autopsy despite the huge burn on her face from the halothane.

tammy Holmolka burn.Nobody found this odd? Seriously, nobody found the huge chemical burn on the face of a fifteen year old girl odd.  Nobody noticed that she had been anally raped and nobody thought that someone doing laundry while their sister was lying dead in the other room was maybe just a little off.  My god if the cops had spent more than 2 seconds looking at this several girls would still be alive.

Sick and sicker moved into a quaint unassuming little pink house at 57 Bayview Drive in Port Dalhousie. It was here that the real sick shit began. So much so that the owners of the house once all the details of the crimes came out simply tore the thing down.Bernardo house.

In spite of sick fuck two’s  efforts, Sick fuck one was still expressing doubts about the upcoming wedding. Whatever else she might be Karla wasn’t a quitter. Reaching into her bag of sick yet again, she lured a young friend of hers to the couple’s home; she then called the beast on his cell phone to tell her fiance that she had a “wedding gift” waiting for him.  Please keep in mind that the one who ended up getting the sweetest plea bargain in the history of crime used exactly the same method to knock out her friend as the method that had killed her sister in the very near past.

Two weeks before the wedding, Leslie Mahaffy had missed curfew and was locked out of her house.  Something that would haunt her parents for the rest of their lives.leslie curfew noteI honestly don’t know how a parent, who was trying to do follow the tough love thing that was all the rage then, lives with the fact that they wrote that note.

She wandered down to a park and it was there that she crossed paths with Bernardo. He kidnapped her, took her home and proceeded to do what he did. He raped her, sodomized her, video taped it all and invited his bride to be in on the action which she gleefully took part in. She would testify later that she was forced, but it was apparent to anyone that had seen the tapes that she was a willing and active participant. The stories of the two differ greatly here. Her parents were coming for Easter dinner or some such the following day. He went out to get some fast food and he says that Leslie was very much alive when he left. When he got back he said that the sick bitch told him that Leslie had tried to escape and she had had to subdue her and she hit her too hard. Her story was that he strangled her with an electrical cord. And the autopsy says that she had to hammer marks in her skull, when they finally dug it out of the concrete. Did I mention that he cut the body up into workable pieces and set each one in concrete which they then dumped over the Niagara escarpment? Yeah. Not before Easter dinner though. Her body lay directly underneath the dinner table in the basement while they all sat down to Easter dinner.

Because I know it is almost to horrific to believe, here are some of the blocks that were found mahaffy in cement

Two weeks later they got married with all the pomp and circumstance of royalty. A horse drawn carriage, a dress designed for a princess, the whole bit. Barbie and Ken were officially married.

Leslie Mahaffy’s body parts were found while Mr. and Mrs. sick fuck were on their fabulous honeymoon in Hawaii.

The beast was a little freaked out when he came home, worried about forensic evidence and such. They had taken DNA swabs from him since he resembled the composite of the Scarborough rapist almost to a T. I wonder why? But it would take three more years for those swabs to be processed. My god the more I write this the more embarrassed I become of the Canadian police back then.

Next up on the hit parade was a girl by the name of Kristen French. Unlike Leslie Mahaffy, Kristen was a well behaved girl, went to catholic school and this somehow made her more important than Leslie. An all out manhunt was orchestrated to try and find her when she was abducted. Quite a difference from the blasé attitudes of the police when Leslie turned up missing. Of course the beast and his wife had Kristen and a by now old scenario played out.

Enter Inspector Vince Bevan. We might as well have had inspector fucking gadget for all the good he did.

Someone had seen the kidnapping of Kristen French and thought the car was a Camaro. A reporter asked the very valid question “are they sure it was a Camaro?” Inspector gadgets brilliant response was “this is a GM town, we know a Camaro when we see one.” Turns out it was a Nissan 280Z but that didn’t stop the police from dragging every Camaro in Ontario in for questioning. I know this because I happened to have one. The one I had purchased off the line, one that was not anywhere near the year they were looking for, and was the same black that it had been when I bought it. Even still, looking for a late 70’s body style light colored Camaro, mine was taken in for questioning. It never did tell me what they asked it. I know that the great Camaro round up wasted about a bajillion police man hours, a huge part of my day and the same for the probably thousands of other Camaro owners across Ontario.

Inspector Gadget was determined to break the case and make a name for himself and therefore refused to share information with neighboring police departments. He made a name for himself alright, just not the one he wanted. Idiot was one of the names he earned. One of the nice ones. Kristen French’s father told him he hoped fervently that he died of some flesh eating bacteria that kept him alive for a very long time.

It was sick fuck number 1 who actually ended his own reign of terror. Or whosever. He had been steadily devolving since the death of Kristen French and one night while smuggling cigarettes across the border I guess because raping and murdering teenagers gets boring Sick fuck number 2 did something that pissed him off and he beat her almost to death. I’ve seen the pictures, he beat her like a carpet.

She decided that now would probably be a good time to peace the fuck out because he was getting weirder and weirder, the cops were getting closer and closer and she was in it up past her neck.

She got herself a lawyer, made a deal that made most Canadians want to climb the nearest clock tower and start taking shots at the entire judiciary system and took 12 years. She blamed the whole thing on Sick fuck number 1 and played the victim. It was not until after she had made her deal, that the video tapes came up. The beast Bernardo’s lawyer had had them the whole time. Had they been brought forward, Holmolka would still be rotting her sick ass in jail. Even after reviewing the tapes, the crown refused to go back on their plea deal, even though the bitch had lied like a rug about everything and it was very apparent. They said that it would irreparably damage the ability of the crown to broker deals in the future. To which I say, suck a dick, because people who commit violent crimes should not be allowed to make deals. They said that without her testimony they would never have gotten Bernardo, to which I say suck another one because the DNA was in by then.

Oddly enough, he admitted to the 19 Scarborough rapes, admitted to abducting Leslie and Kristen but to this day swears he never killed anyone. And I believe him. I think that that fucking crazy bitch was so sick with jealousy that he wanted other women that she killed them to get rid of the competition. So he got dangerous offender status and won’t get to get out of jail, and she got 12 years. She served the whole 12 so that she wasn’t under the parole boards jurisdiction, got out of Joliette Prison, married her lawyers brother and beat it for an Island in the Caribbean. She has children with her husband, proving that there is an idiot born every minute and one willing to let a sexual predator give birth to his children. During the Luka Magnotta trial it came up that she is back in Ontario. We found this out because her older sister was one of the recipients of the body parts packages. Lori let it slip that Karla and family were back in Ontario.  Lori had been trying for a while to get the sick bitch back to Ontario sending an email telling her how stupid people were and that after all this time and with some hair dye nobody would recognize her anyway. So I guess that her baby sister was just a throw away. And those dead girls, I guess they didn’t matter much either.  I hope to god that one of the Mahaffy’s or French’s run into her at some point. And just as an aside, the parallels between this sick bitch and our current sick bitch and their family dynamics are stunningly similar.

Here is the question of the day though? How do her parents reconcile all of this. She is the reason that their youngest daughter is dead. Her. How can they, having seen those tapes, all of them, then put that out of their heads and have a relationship with her. I don’t care if she was my child, I would never be able to forgive the rape and murder of another of my children. I would call it a wash and walk the fuck away. What kind of people does that make them?

As for Sick Fuck number 1. Even habitual dangerous offenders have rights. He is planning to marry a 30 year old groupie, because for every sick twist there is someone willing to marry them. Bernardo is in his 50’s now.

So there you have it. Sick Fuck Saturday. I hope it did not disappoint.

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33 Responses to Really Big Mean Dog Presents: Sick Fuck Saturday; The Bernardo Murders

  1. sandymetter says:

    That was awwwwesome, Kelly. How long did it take you to write that? What a story!

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Sandy. Thank you bunches. This one took a long time. Last night and most of today. It was worth it, it came out pretty good I think.

  2. renaes24 says:

    Excellent job! One point though: I thought the sister who was called in the Magnotta trial said Karla was back in “Quebec”. That sorta made sense because of all the people (John Howard Society etc) who had assisted her. If she is really back in Ontario,,,,,,,heaven help us!

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai renae. I think she was just in PQ visiting. I have a really good source that tells me she is living on the outskirts of a town up north.

  3. eversnark says:

    Wow, great job! Did not disappoint. I read your blog several times during Stabby Einstein’s criminal trial and I’m so glad to see you continue to write. Your incisive wit is rare and delightful even when the subject matter is 100% horrible. These two… jeez. It doesn’t get more sick. The deal that Karla got still makes me scream inside whenever I think about it. Bernardo is never going to get to beat his new bride to a raccoon-eyed pulp and I guess I could try to find some reassurance in that.

  4. Colleen says:

    Man some really awful people in this world. Wonder what kind of high they get off being so depraved? Never heard of this case but will look into it. Thanks for the blogging you do Kelly some stupid people out on social media but in the end they tip their hands. Hope the PV and all will be no more soon. C

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Colleen. Thanks for the reading you do. I mostly don’t let the social media stuff get to me, but it’s getting a little out of hand as of late.

  5. bigmeannurse says:

    Nuts. They are everywhere aren’t they? Thanks for the time you spent condensing this story for Sick Saturday. And the parents? I guess the nuts don’t fall far from the tree after all. I’m with you…how could you show your face in court and continue a relationship, even if the monster is your kid? Peace.

  6. jackie hardie says:

    Great blog, Kelly. I’m new to your writings but am enjoying them immensely. I remember when this happened but never heard the outcome. I think that the parents must have been able to compartmentalize also. As hideous as the crime is, they must have held on to their memories of when their child had an innocence about them. This is what they cling to…. Hope you’re feeling better soon 🙂

  7. Another well done blog. I’ve read about that sick couple and you did a great job explaining it in detail with the photos (some of which I hadn’t seen before). I agree, how can her parents live with themselves?
    How about doing something on the Son of Sam (my hometown, Yonkers, NY. and I was 17 years old and hung out where he did during that time….I also fit the profile of the girls he was hunting down so I got REALLY lucky), or the Manson family. I truly believe that Mason is a sick fuck but his followers who did the killings were even sicker IMHO. And BTW, Susan Atkins of the Manson family (now deceased…died of a brain tumor in prison) looks eerily like JA these days (or rather vice versa).
    Thanks for Sick Fuck Saturday. I look forward to more.

  8. Mama Via says:

    Well done, Miss K! Kudos to you! I’ve never been sure if it is because we receive so much information so quickly (and so graphically) OR if, as a society we are raising more sick fucks than we did 100 years ago…OR, as we have become a society based more on science and less on our “fear of God” (read “fear of eternal consequences!) the “crazies” just go off willy-nilly and do what they want. At one time in “civilized” society, it was deemed “shameful” for a woman (let alone a LADY) to expose her ankles…yet, even a little old woman like me has seen photos of both Paris Hilton’s shaved who-hoo AND HoHoHodis nether regions. (Am I the oddity that when my GYN says “relax” I CANNOT do so without a zanax?) Not EVEN my GYN has seen my nether regions as graphically exposed as HoHoHodi’s! The OTHER idea I struggle with…when I was 6-7 or so…my step mom would walk about the kitchen in her stockings and full-slip, hair still in pin curls, waving her fingers in the air to dry the polish…oh, my! I thought she was the most beautiful princess EVER! I wanted to grow up to be just like THAT!! IF I had known the word/idea of “sexy”…she epitomized it! Now, young girls walk around with their pants unzipped, their TA-TAs barely covered…the night I was gang-raped, I had on a turtle neck sweater and a pair of jeans, sneakers, socks, bra and granny panties…my clothing wasn’t “advertising” my availability…don’t these young girls realize the danger? But…as Bernardo proved…just being a virgin can get you killed…

    And people wonder why you and I would just rather “stay home”…”out there” has nothing I want…

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Mama: Thank you. I think it is the speed and subject matter that is being seen by everyone. I mean look at even cartoons now. Family guy, American dad all that crap. Swinging dicks on television at a time when teens are apt to still be up. Miley Cyrus. All of it. I think that’s why.

    • Cheryl says:

      The Inuit handled this problem of bad people by “losing” them in the snow. Strange evil folks have been with us from the very start, some seem just wired differently to the norm. Everyone needs to be vigilant not just females.

  9. HarleyGirl says:

    Hi Kelly,
    A great read as usual. I have enjoyed your articles since I discovered you blog from the JMSP. I look at my email everyday hoping to see that you have written something new. As terrible as the subject matter is you find a way to make it bearable with you keen humor and excellent writing skills, You seem like you would be very fun to be around. I love Sick Fuck Saturday….fuck being my favorite word! Please write about Jeffrey Dahmer as that sick fuck originally came from my state of OHio. I loved his prison interview with his daddy trying to blame Jeffy’s problems on his mother because she had some mental issues and had a rough birthing of little Jeffey. That in itself piss me off. Always the mother;s fault these little killers blame…rough birth, wooden spoon, controlling bitc from Florida made her daughter kill her babby and party for 31 days…….you know where this is all going! Oh yeah, back to Sick Fuck Saturday, Please write about Jeffrey, honey I ate my boyfriend, Dahmer. Thanks Kelly. You are the best!

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Harley. Thanks so much. My favorite word too incase you haven’t noticed lol. It’s so versatile. Dahmer is definitely another good one, especially now that I have come up with the Jeffrey Dahmer School of Culinary Arts. I will do my best. Thanks for reading.

  10. Adele says:

    another amazing article. I’m in Toronto, and remember it well. I have a story abt Bernardo that involves colonel Williams, and another murderer, if your interested. maybe to be used in another great article. P.s. I knew the other murderer, his victim, and also his wife and kids…strange twists life brings..

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Adele. Thank you so much. I would totally be interested in that. Welcome to the comments section.

  11. BlueWhiteRed says:

    What everyone ^^^^^ said! Especially making such twisted stuff bearable and readable. I ached for Kristen French, too…I’m sure you know why. God rest their souls, and their innocent families. I am the Bad Cop here and I would have done the same curfew note. And then died afterward. Hoo-yah, Kels.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai BlueWhiteRed. That’s just it right. You try and do the right thing by your child and it ends up being a thing that you cannot ever take back. I guess I am a weaker soul because I don’t know how I would not have immediately put a gun in my mouth. Knowing because of my actions my child was dead? Nope, I couldn’t live with that.

  12. LindaNewYork says:

    Sick Fucks, indeed. This is one of the more horrific things I have ever seen in my life. And for sick fuck #2 to get 12 years and go on to have a “life” with a husband and children? Disgusting.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Linda: Yes it was very bad. Apparently most of the jurors had to seek therapy because of the nature of the tapes. And yeah Canadians are still pretty sick about it. Still.

  13. Pasha says:

    Thanks for the article. The Homolka and Bernardo case is one of the first true crime books I ever read. I then got every book on the case I could find and joined an online blog called “watching Karla Homolka” This was years before she got out of jail. She is sick and twisted as Paul is and should never have seen the light of day outside of a jail cell. That she has 3 children, the same number of lives she took. is abhorrent. Those poor children, having that woman as a mother! I too, think that Karla is the one that killed the girls…and I don’t think that Tammy was an accident either.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Pasha. You are welcome. I actually do think Tammy was an accident, I just think she realized when it happened that killing the competition was pretty easy. And yes she should have rotted in jail till the day she died.

  14. Carole Harrison says:

    Always think I know about cases, having read everything I can on the web about them. That is, until I read your in-depth stories. I only know the bare bones.

    Where you research them is beyond me, but that is why you are the best source of information Kelly.

    Well done once again for your effort…..especially as you have not been at all well.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Carole: Thank you so much. Crime cases I have files on all the ones I find interesting. They contain every scrap of information I ever found anywhere about them. That coupled with the internet cuts a few days off of research for sure.

  15. Deb says:

    Awesome, Prof. Kelly…I can hardly read articles like this all the way thru at the first sitting. You are very good at bringing the truth out, in all it’s disgusting vileness, without glamorizing it. I have never been a person who can see the evil that surrounds me, and not want to leave immediately…take that however you will. I make myself look at it so that I can realize evil walks among us, every single day. When I think about how many unknown people I’ve given rides to, opened my home to, I wonder at how I’m still here. I forced myself to push fear out of my mind, because I dealt with fear from the time I was a baby and decided that I wouldn’t let it rule my life. But now that I have grandchildren, I am letting the ugliest parts of reality into my consciousness, because I can see that the world is changing into an unsafe environment for good people and we have to face the harsh truth about evil. We all need to allow love to guide our actions, but we must never totally let our guard down. I have faith that love will, ultimately, win out…but it isn’t going to happen in my lifetime.
    You are a great writer and I respect you so much for that! My weekend has been less than inspiring…much going on in my personal life right now that is not conducive to contributing to ‘Sick Fuck Saturday’…but I’ll get back into my groove soon! 😉 Thank you for giving me the opportunity to face the world with such an inspiring role model ❤

  16. Mama Via says:

    Are you ok miss K? You’ve been quiet too long…mama gets worried when the chillins is too quiet for too long! Sending hugs!

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai mama. Yup, I”m okay, just took yesterday off for some R&R. Much needed I might add. Be back at it tonight. Hugs back.

  17. Emilia says:

    I’m Canadian, and I know all about the Bernardo case. About Paul Bernardo being engaged to that girl, I read a few months afterwards that she was having ‘second thoughts.’ Since then, it’s been pretty much out of the news. I’m a bit sceptical of the whole thing; I wonder if it’s just a ploy for attention on one or both of their parts. Earlier on, there was this one other woman who claimed to be in love with Bernardo, ‘Paul Bernardo: The man I love,’ was the title of an article in a Canadian women’s magazine. I knew that was only in her mind: this woman was overweight, and Bernardo apparently didn’t like fat women. Maybe there’s something more to this story of the girl getting engaged to him, but getting old and cynical, I’ve pretty much concluded it was a hoax.

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It's the Internet.


Just another site

Asleep in Left Field-My Life

4 out of 5 Friends recommend this site

Out in left field

(Totally fictional) Drama Queen Stories


sometimes, there are monsters walking amongst us

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