Let us dust off some of the oldies just to get Stabby and the Stabbyites out of our brains for a bit-Planet Earth
Hai everybody. It is I, number 1 Stabby hater, Law School Professor and Dean of fuckery, Really Big Mean Dog head of Publishing and Auntie Really Big Mean Dog. I hope that each and every one of you are enjoying your weekend. I hope that our new segment, Sick Fuck Saturdays serves its intended purpose and gets that thing out of our brains for a bit and I sincerely hope that some of you will take me up on my offer to guest blog.
With that I bring you our first installment of “Sick Fuck Saturdays” Paul Bernardo and Karla Holmolka- The Ken and Barbie Murders.
This one, I am embarrassed to say is right from my very own country.
To understand how any of this happened you have to take the two halves before you make the whole. Paul Bernardo was a fairly disturbed young man who put on a façade for the outside world much like Ted Bundy. He was definitely what is known as a compartmentalizer. He could effectively put respective parts of his psyche into boxes in his brain and keep them separate from each other. Paul Bernardo was and is a sick fuck. Very sick. He started out as a peeping tom, looking into women’s windows as they undressed at night and jerking off at his leisure. He was seen only once that is known and a neighbor gentleman ran him off.
In 1987 I had just come back from a stint in Toronto working for a car dealership. Women began being attacked in Scarborough. Vicious rapes. Well, all rapes are vicious, but these were especially heinous. The thing is though, he was always very careful about telling the women not to try and look at him, to keep their eyes closed etc. Of course a few victims got a look at the sick disgusting piece of shit and eventually a composite sketch was done and printed in the newspaper. The main thing to remember is that of the 19 women who reported being raped, not one of them ended up dead. Beaten up a little and certainly scarred for life, but NOT DEAD.
Three months prior to the beginning of the rapes, Karla Holmolka wandered into a restaurant to get something to eat and in a completely chance meeting came across the filling to her Oreo, Paul Bernardo. Holmolka, just 17 at the time was sexually promiscuous and much like someone else we know, more than willing to do whatever, whenever to ensure that she got her man. They went back to her hotel room not even hours after meeting and got down to business much to the annoyance of her roommate, who really didn’t have anywhere else to go to avoid having to listen to them go at it in front of an audience.
They dated from that day forward and eventually Sick fuck asked other sick fuck to marry him. She went crazy with happiness since this had indeed been the game plan all along.
Have I mentioned the part where Bernardo was a sick fuck? He seemed to have a bug up his ass about virgins for some reason. Like, he wanted them, all of them. He was pissed off that Holmolka had not been a virgin. At some point close to the wedding, Bernardo discovered that he had quite a fondness for Karla’s younger sister Tammy. He thought he might love her. I think he loved the part where nobody had touched her at that point. She was indeed a virgin. Karla was losing her mind over it. She was scared he was going to call of the wedding that she had had to perform more and more perverse sexual acts to procure, she was jealous of her younger sister, and she was willing to do whatever she had to do to make sure her dream wedding happened. To appease his desire for her virgin baby sister, she offered her up as a sort of Christmas present. Karla worked at a veterinary clinic and she procured the drugs that would knock out her baby sister so that sick fuck 1 could do whatever it was that he wanted to do to her. Tammy was knocked out using crushed up halcion in a couple of drinks, and then once she passed out Karla put a rag soaked with Halothane, a veterinary drug over her face. A drug that is meant to only be used as an aerosol under constant monitoring was smashed into the face of the already unconscious teenager. Bernardo raped her vaginally and anally and then sick fuck 2 took a turn on her own baby sister. It was only as the human piece of shit Bernardo was getting ready for his second turn that the winner of sister of infinity realized that Tammy was not breathing. She had vomited because she had consumed alcohol. Anyone with a medical background knows that you cannot generally anesthetize anybody who has consumed anything for this very reason. She vomited, aspirated and asphyxiated. Of course sick and sicker both panicked because they had just killed a person after all. When the police and ambulance services arrived sister of the decade was laundering the comforter that they had torn up her sister on, and they had quickly hidden the video tape of what had transpired. Because in Canada our police are not the brightest bulbs on the tree, they took them at their word about what happened and Tammy was laid to rest without an autopsy despite the huge burn on her face from the halothane.
Nobody found this odd? Seriously, nobody found the huge chemical burn on the face of a fifteen year old girl odd. Nobody noticed that she had been anally raped and nobody thought that someone doing laundry while their sister was lying dead in the other room was maybe just a little off. My god if the cops had spent more than 2 seconds looking at this several girls would still be alive.
Sick and sicker moved into a quaint unassuming little pink house at 57 Bayview Drive in Port Dalhousie. It was here that the real sick shit began. So much so that the owners of the house once all the details of the crimes came out simply tore the thing down.
In spite of sick fuck two’s efforts, Sick fuck one was still expressing doubts about the upcoming wedding. Whatever else she might be Karla wasn’t a quitter. Reaching into her bag of sick yet again, she lured a young friend of hers to the couple’s home; she then called the beast on his cell phone to tell her fiance that she had a “wedding gift” waiting for him. Please keep in mind that the one who ended up getting the sweetest plea bargain in the history of crime used exactly the same method to knock out her friend as the method that had killed her sister in the very near past.
Two weeks before the wedding, Leslie Mahaffy had missed curfew and was locked out of her house. Something that would haunt her parents for the rest of their lives.I honestly don’t know how a parent, who was trying to do follow the tough love thing that was all the rage then, lives with the fact that they wrote that note.
She wandered down to a park and it was there that she crossed paths with Bernardo. He kidnapped her, took her home and proceeded to do what he did. He raped her, sodomized her, video taped it all and invited his bride to be in on the action which she gleefully took part in. She would testify later that she was forced, but it was apparent to anyone that had seen the tapes that she was a willing and active participant. The stories of the two differ greatly here. Her parents were coming for Easter dinner or some such the following day. He went out to get some fast food and he says that Leslie was very much alive when he left. When he got back he said that the sick bitch told him that Leslie had tried to escape and she had had to subdue her and she hit her too hard. Her story was that he strangled her with an electrical cord. And the autopsy says that she had to hammer marks in her skull, when they finally dug it out of the concrete. Did I mention that he cut the body up into workable pieces and set each one in concrete which they then dumped over the Niagara escarpment? Yeah. Not before Easter dinner though. Her body lay directly underneath the dinner table in the basement while they all sat down to Easter dinner.
Two weeks later they got married with all the pomp and circumstance of royalty. A horse drawn carriage, a dress designed for a princess, the whole bit. Barbie and Ken were officially married.
Leslie Mahaffy’s body parts were found while Mr. and Mrs. sick fuck were on their fabulous honeymoon in Hawaii.
The beast was a little freaked out when he came home, worried about forensic evidence and such. They had taken DNA swabs from him since he resembled the composite of the Scarborough rapist almost to a T. I wonder why? But it would take three more years for those swabs to be processed. My god the more I write this the more embarrassed I become of the Canadian police back then.
Next up on the hit parade was a girl by the name of Kristen French. Unlike Leslie Mahaffy, Kristen was a well behaved girl, went to catholic school and this somehow made her more important than Leslie. An all out manhunt was orchestrated to try and find her when she was abducted. Quite a difference from the blasé attitudes of the police when Leslie turned up missing. Of course the beast and his wife had Kristen and a by now old scenario played out.
Enter Inspector Vince Bevan. We might as well have had inspector fucking gadget for all the good he did.
Someone had seen the kidnapping of Kristen French and thought the car was a Camaro. A reporter asked the very valid question “are they sure it was a Camaro?” Inspector gadgets brilliant response was “this is a GM town, we know a Camaro when we see one.” Turns out it was a Nissan 280Z but that didn’t stop the police from dragging every Camaro in Ontario in for questioning. I know this because I happened to have one. The one I had purchased off the line, one that was not anywhere near the year they were looking for, and was the same black that it had been when I bought it. Even still, looking for a late 70’s body style light colored Camaro, mine was taken in for questioning. It never did tell me what they asked it. I know that the great Camaro round up wasted about a bajillion police man hours, a huge part of my day and the same for the probably thousands of other Camaro owners across Ontario.
Inspector Gadget was determined to break the case and make a name for himself and therefore refused to share information with neighboring police departments. He made a name for himself alright, just not the one he wanted. Idiot was one of the names he earned. One of the nice ones. Kristen French’s father told him he hoped fervently that he died of some flesh eating bacteria that kept him alive for a very long time.
It was sick fuck number 1 who actually ended his own reign of terror. Or whosever. He had been steadily devolving since the death of Kristen French and one night while smuggling cigarettes across the border I guess because raping and murdering teenagers gets boring Sick fuck number 2 did something that pissed him off and he beat her almost to death. I’ve seen the pictures, he beat her like a carpet.
She decided that now would probably be a good time to peace the fuck out because he was getting weirder and weirder, the cops were getting closer and closer and she was in it up past her neck.
She got herself a lawyer, made a deal that made most Canadians want to climb the nearest clock tower and start taking shots at the entire judiciary system and took 12 years. She blamed the whole thing on Sick fuck number 1 and played the victim. It was not until after she had made her deal, that the video tapes came up. The beast Bernardo’s lawyer had had them the whole time. Had they been brought forward, Holmolka would still be rotting her sick ass in jail. Even after reviewing the tapes, the crown refused to go back on their plea deal, even though the bitch had lied like a rug about everything and it was very apparent. They said that it would irreparably damage the ability of the crown to broker deals in the future. To which I say, suck a dick, because people who commit violent crimes should not be allowed to make deals. They said that without her testimony they would never have gotten Bernardo, to which I say suck another one because the DNA was in by then.
Oddly enough, he admitted to the 19 Scarborough rapes, admitted to abducting Leslie and Kristen but to this day swears he never killed anyone. And I believe him. I think that that fucking crazy bitch was so sick with jealousy that he wanted other women that she killed them to get rid of the competition. So he got dangerous offender status and won’t get to get out of jail, and she got 12 years. She served the whole 12 so that she wasn’t under the parole boards jurisdiction, got out of Joliette Prison, married her lawyers brother and beat it for an Island in the Caribbean. She has children with her husband, proving that there is an idiot born every minute and one willing to let a sexual predator give birth to his children. During the Luka Magnotta trial it came up that she is back in Ontario. We found this out because her older sister was one of the recipients of the body parts packages. Lori let it slip that Karla and family were back in Ontario. Lori had been trying for a while to get the sick bitch back to Ontario sending an email telling her how stupid people were and that after all this time and with some hair dye nobody would recognize her anyway. So I guess that her baby sister was just a throw away. And those dead girls, I guess they didn’t matter much either. I hope to god that one of the Mahaffy’s or French’s run into her at some point. And just as an aside, the parallels between this sick bitch and our current sick bitch and their family dynamics are stunningly similar.
Here is the question of the day though? How do her parents reconcile all of this. She is the reason that their youngest daughter is dead. Her. How can they, having seen those tapes, all of them, then put that out of their heads and have a relationship with her. I don’t care if she was my child, I would never be able to forgive the rape and murder of another of my children. I would call it a wash and walk the fuck away. What kind of people does that make them?
As for Sick Fuck number 1. Even habitual dangerous offenders have rights. He is planning to marry a 30 year old groupie, because for every sick twist there is someone willing to marry them. Bernardo is in his 50’s now.
So there you have it. Sick Fuck Saturday. I hope it did not disappoint.
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