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The Stabby Penalty Phase Retrial-The Never Ending Side-Bar Edition.

October 28, 2014

Good thing I kept the Pretoria puke bucket-Arizona

Hai kids. Hope everyone is well.

In Ontario today we laid Cpl. Cirillo to rest. Christine Beswick covered the funeral and will have an article up tomorrow. She is linked in the Blogroll if you are interested in reading it.

The Goodman verdict came in today. He was the super rich dude that was convicted of vehicular homicide and DUI manslaughter and then was granted a new trial. He got reconvicted today for the same things. DUI manslaughter and Vehicular homicide. Hope he gets more than the 16 years he got the first time around.

Today is the day we have all been dreading. It is a good thing I kept the puke bucket because I thought we all might need it. Today is the day we are going to get to see naked Stabby and get to listen to the vomit inducing illegally recorded phone sex tape. You’re welcome.

Court opened with an immediate sidebar because why not. If Alfred E. Nurmi isn’t going to win the world record for the most motions ever, he is damn well going to win for the most side-bars in a criminal trial ever. He’s no quitter!!

Her royal Highness Stabbykins was dressed in royal blue I’m sure just to piss off the Alexander family. Her glasses are still present. Expect to see them on E-bay the day after the trial is over. Cha Cha showed up in hot salmon today because if you reek like a fish you might as well dress like one I guess.

Alfred E. Went back to the defense table and he and Stabby had a deep and meaningful discussion about how much he hates her right now. Jenny From the Cell Block acted as referee.

Sometimes Judge Stephens gave an admonition to the gallery not to react to the phone sex tape when it is played. Only Travis’ brother was in the courtroom at this time. Then his sisters came back in.

Alfred E. got up and began his cross examination of Detective Flores. He hammered and hammered and hammered about who’s theory it was that the gunshot came first. He asked Flores how old Stabby was when she committed the crime and if she had a prior criminal record. Flores asked if he wanted her age in human or dog years. Human I guess so he said 27 and no she did not have a criminal record. He asked if Flores about the shell casing that was found and then started with the shower photo’s.

He showed one of Travis with his back turned to the camera and decides to just make a supposition and says if she wanted to kill him she could have done it then. Juan immediately objects; speculation and is sustained. Alfred E. was not to be deterred today though. He was animated enough that he almost appeared to be awake at times. He asked why the two Ninja’s were not looked into and Flores answered because all roads led to the three holed wonder. Nurmi was VERY lively this time around.

Next we got Jumbotron meat flaps. Aren’t ya glad I brought the puke bucket. Because the Jurors have not yet been tortured enough, the next pic was Jumbotron Stabby wonder hole number 2. Nurmi asked if it looked like Travis didn’t want to be there. Flores said no. Point being made by Nurmi is that this is not a man afraid of a stalker. He was banging the bitch, taking pictures of her naked, and spending time with her.

There was a 10 minute recess and then the phone sex-tape was on. Travis’ sisters left once again. The bailiff was polite enough to pass out barf-bags just in case the Pretoria puke bucket was being used by the gallery.

To summarize the sex tape, close your eyes, picture Stabby and her overused floppy cooch, a boomerang dick and then step on a cats tail. That pretty much sums it up.

Some interesting things that I noticed though. He obviously did not know he was being recorded. Travis says on the tape that he doesn’t like Spiderman or superman when they begin talking about superheroes so it’s pretty obvious he didn’t send the underwear. Most importantly, he NEVER said he loved her, not in 40 some odd minutes. Actually as soon as he was done yanking it, he started yawning and it was like “OK hooker, I’m done, I’d like to peace the fuck out now.”

The Stabby FREAKS have been coming out of the woodwork trying to make their aging very badly queen look better, and doing a really bad job at it.
See!!! stabby photoshop stabby photoshop 2 Bwahahahahahaha.

After lunch Alfred E. began the slander portion of the program. He went after Flores with a renewed gusto. He wanted to know if Travis was using his own free will when he said he wanted to stick his dick in her ass. He then started to go after Travis’ faith at which point Juan got a little pissy. He objected, there was a sidebar and Nurmi came back and qualified Flores as an LDS expert. He has been a member of the faith for decades apparently. He wanted to know if people believed Travis was a virgin. Flores said they did. Next question was does the law of chastity allow Travis to shoot Jizz on Stabby’s face. Juan Objected. Nurmi is trying to get the point across that Travis was a hypocrite and unfortunately I think he succeeded.

Juan got up and sadly for the first time he had to do damage control. Juan asked if slitting someone’s throat is condoned by Mormon teachings. Did Travis ever say he loved her. Flores said not that he was aware of. He asked if sex was the same as love. Flores said no. Does not following the law of chastity mean he deserved to have his throat slit? Of course not. Juan asked if there was any indication she was forced to pose for photos? Flores said none. He asked if Flores ever uncovered anything that said she was a nut bag. Not in his opinion. Then it got a little weird. Juan asked Flores if he believed she had parents. Alfred E. Objected. He asked Flores if he ever had sex with Nurmi? WTF and EWWWWW. Objection. Did you have sex with Stabby Einstein. WTF and BARF aaand I fucking object. I don’t need that mental picture thank you. He then asked if Flores disbelieved everything she told him and he said no.

Nurmi was back up and he asked Flores if he was writing a book. A couple of times. Flores was offended. I wonder who could have put an idea like that into Nurmi’s head? *cough*PIGVOMIT*cough* He asked Flores if he had a mind reading certificate to which he answered no, but he heard about some blogger with an in house psychic. He said that he could not then know what she was thinking when she was in Selinas to which he answered no and Baby Jesus answered my prayer and ended re-cross.

The State rested underlying evidence and mitigation starts on Thursday.

All in all it was NOT a good day for the prosecution. I think that the DP may be off the table kids. Alfred E. did a good job today. I give credit where it is due and he did a good job of confusing the Jury and taking down the States case today.

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