The Stabby Einstein Penalty Phase Retrial-Kelly Bounced, So You Get The In-House Psychic Edition

Kim Jong Un just friended Arizona on Facebook-Arizona

Hello.  Um, Kelly said she needed to take a minute….something about Stabby and then PV going out trick or trouting and crazy people on twitter and communist countries…..I don’t know either and I can fucking read minds, I just know she mad!!!

Anyway, she said to tell you she would see you tomorrow for sick fuck Saturday and to try and keep you all entertained with Stabby news of some kind.   Since  I am a fucking Psychic and NOT a blog writer, I ‘m not exactly sure what that means, so I have been bouncing from mind to mind of the Stabby camp to try and come up with something, anything to write.  I don’t know if I mentioned it, but your Law Professor/Dean of Fuckery somehow managed to wrangle me into a thousand year contract of indentured servitude.  That and she scares me a little.

I actually caught a break since the whole lot of them ended up back in court today for the pesky little court blackout thing.  Of course sometimes not a Judge Stephens denied it and it is now being appealed to a higher court. Troy Hayden of Fox10 went on air to say that he has had three separate sources say that it was indeed Stabby on the stand yesterday just like the bosslady figured. (she made me say that) Anyway, Stabby jingle jangled her way into court today in her lovely stripes to see what not a Judge Stephens had to say.

I decided to save Stabby for last since getting into her head is every single bit as nauseating as it sounds, and I like to save the vomit inducement part of the program for last whenever possible.  I started with Nurmi, but as usual lately he was crying in his head so I figured I would come back to him later.  Next I stopped on Jenny….wait, something is coming in from the boss.  Yes I am writing your stupid blog.  Yes I do know what indentured servitude means.  You’re a law professor, it’s not like you haven’t told me a million times. Uh, huh.  Okay.  Yes. Can I finish this sometime tonight now?  Kthxbai.

She said to put up a link to Troy on Fox so……here.

Anyway Jenny from the Cell Block was sitting next to Stabbykins because she and Nurmi need to be separated by at least one person at all times. Jenny looked as high as usual and like Stabby had managed to drain a little bit more of whatever life force is left in her. Her defenses are pretty much nil at this point so I had no trouble getting into her head.
Why do I have to be here? Fuck. I was supposed to meet my dealer at 4. No way I am going to make that now. And why do I have to sit here? Why does nobody remember what she said to me during the last trial.
Then this popped in her head. stabby escape God this chick is a nutbag. Smile and nod Jenny, she’s looking at you again. Remember to put extra hair spray on tomorrow. I think she may actually be scaring me bald. I wonder if my dealer can hook up with me later. Can we just move this along. We all know that Stabby’s friend Judge Stephens is going to deny this motion so WHY ARE WE EVEN HERE!! I wonder if she is going to ask me for another ball gown and an Oscar like last time. And I don’t want to hear about how she plans on smuggling it into the jail. Gross. Damn, this motion hearing is harshing my mellow in a big way. Fuck it, maybe if I turn towards Alfred E just a little, I can play angry birds on my phone and Stabby won’t notice.

Next I bounced over to Juan because Nurmi was still sobbing in his head. Juan is always fun to get a read on. DIEBITCHDIEBITCHDIEBITCHDIEBITCHDIEBITCHDIEBITCH…….Hey!! Why has nobody tossed one of those good boy treats at me yet? I like those. This Judge is a complete fucking idiot. I have never come across a Judge like this in the history of my career. It’s quite disturbing when you think about the implications of what she is doing. That’s okay, I am sure the level heads in a higher court,  judges separated from this trial will see the error is Judge Stephens ruling. Even if the ruling remains intact, it’s not going to make even a scintilla of difference. The facts are on my side. She is a convicted murderess and all that is left to do is finish my case and then DIEBITCHDIEBITCHDIEBITCHDIEBITCHDIEBITCH………..It went on like that through the whole hearing, while he left the building, as he walked to his car, when he stopped for coffee and until  he saw a puppy.

Nurmi was up next. He had himself under some semblance of control so I went ahead and took the read. FUCK.MY.LIFE. FUCKIT!! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS SHIT. It’s nice that Jenny stays so stoned she hasn’t realized that she is a screwed as I am. I should probably tell her, but she will come down soon enough and realize where she is and that is always a fun moment. I can’t believe this dumb assed judge is going for any of this. Anti death penalty judges are AWESOME!! I can’t help it if the crazy bitch wants the court closed. She won’t tell me why, but I know. I bet a billion dollars that we are on the cusp of story number 4 and she doesn’t want anyone to know she is going to change her story again. Watch her say her daddy diddled her when she was a baby now. Or her mommy sold her ass for heroin money. Something. Well screw it, I’m just going to sit here and let her say whatever the fuck she wants. I’m not asking her anything because that way I’m not suborning perjury, but if she wants to say she was abducted by aliens and the anal probe is what got her started down this road, that’s fine with me. Fucking Bitch. I FUCKING HATE YOU SO HARD YOU FUCKING BITCH.

I went to not a Judge Stephens next but all I got was that horrible white noise sound from the sidebar. Weird!!

Last and absolutely least, and after downing several gravol and some alka-seltzer just for good measure I got to Stabby Einstein. Ahahahahahahahahahahaha…………Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Oh my god, I cannot believe that she is going for this. Got myself out of my cell on a Friday, got the entire legal panel for the media here, fucked with that goddamn nasty prosecutors day, and Alfred E. is looking pretty pissed. Ahahahahahahahahaha. I swear, that perfume that Jenny is wearing smells just like weed. She says it’s called ESCAPE. Love that name, gonna get some as soon as my appeal gets done and I get out of here. Can’t wait for trick or trouting tonight. I have no idea what that is, but my new number 1 flag waver PV tells me it’s way better than trick or treating. I bet I can get 1500 for this pair of glasses. Cha Cha better be picking up all these Styrofoam cups I have put wonder hole number 3 on so that I can auction those too. You know George and Joe will buy all of them because my DNA has graced the rims….ohhh that sounds so dirty….now I’m horny. Hopefully, I will be incarcerated at least long enough to win Prison Idol for another year. Peons. They should all just realize that they need to bow before me like this stupid judge. She gets it that I am so much more Einstein-y than she is. I won’t have to de-edify her I guess. God I hate my hair. Can’t wait to get back on the stand. Wait till they hear the story I cooked up this time. It’s awesome!! They want mitigation? Oh I’ve got your mitigation bitches. It’s not lying if the jury doesn’t know what I said on the stand the first time. Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Why is Jenny turned away from me like that? Bitch better not be playing on her cell phone again. Maybe it’s time to have another talk. About sharp instruments and stuff. Hope we can drag this out till dinner. Jenny better have gotten my gown by court on Monday. I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and….EWWWWW that is it!!

There you go. I have written a blog and lived up to my contract. Kelly will see you tomorrow with her regularly scheduled programming.

In house Psychic DEFINITELY peacing the fuck out!!

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13 Responses to The Stabby Einstein Penalty Phase Retrial-Kelly Bounced, So You Get The In-House Psychic Edition

  1. Martini13 says:

    Had to read part of it twice BC I was laughing so hard at Jenny’s thoughts of extra hair spray!! And labeling cups with a wonder hole #3 was simply brilliant!! Oh how I’ve hated being busy & missing my bedtime blog! Looking fwd to catching up this weekend!!

  2. jackie hardie says:

    Great blog!! I guess all we can do is try to find the humor at this point. The material is endless……

  3. hb beachbum says:


  4. Deb says:

    You and In House never disappoint! Just when you think this trial couldn’t possibly have anything ‘new’ to offer…bitches just get more creepy, scurvy, and cray-cray! Good work on keeping their sooper sekrit thoughts & tricks out in the open 🙂 and ^5

  5. Owlie says:

    Another classic!

  6. karen30036 says:

    Love it, love the writing, love that I found this blog.

  7. debl115 says:

    According to Troy Hayden, the Secret Witness was Jodi herself. I can’t wait to see what comes of this. So, so fucking pissed that this phase of the trial isn’t televised. I have all the faith in the world in Juan calling bullshit on her again, just hope that there isn’t another hold-out juror (or 4) this time around. Death to this bitch

  8. Mama Via says:

    Every time I let Stabby-antics work on me…I take a “nerve pill” and try to remember that the back-stabbing (literally) bitch will be behind bars for a VERY VERY LONG TIME!! Her 15 minutes of fame (?) will (finally) end, and the steel door will close and only she and her delusional thoughts will be left…I try to remind myself that I was just as angry about OJ, and Scott Peterson, and Stabbiekins twin sister, Casey “Zanny-the-Nanny” Anthony…OJ was found “not guilty”, but his ass is STILL in JAIL…(Karma is a Muther-trucker!), Scotty “the Hottie) will never see the light of day….and good ole Casey “I Sponge Off Others) can’t live a normal life….one day that old Fickle Finger attorney of hers will get sick and tired of supporting her ass! Just like OJ, Scottie and Casey…she won’t be newsworthy any more…a 1/2” high title on page 16…and who the hell cares? Kinda like Manson, Krenwinkle, vanHouten & Adkins…not news worthy…just wait it out…sigh…my nerve pill is working….

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai mama. I keep running out of nerve pills.

      • Mama Via says:

        Haha! Well, I live in the Ex-Pill Capital of the world…about 10 years ago, folks from all over the south would come to Florida, start at Jacksonville, see a doc, get an RX for oxy usually, then work down the East coast, down to Miami, then work up the Gulf Coast and out the Panhandle…then, take their “loot” back home and get between $20-60 a pill for the oxy, $10 a pill for Vicodin, and $5-10 for nerve pills….then DEA cracked down, the state cracked down…and now, every redneck with an RV and a place to hide in the swamp is making meth….the result is that folks like me, who have REAL need for pain meds, muscle relaxers, or “nerve medicine”….can’t get it. My doc informed me this week that due to restrictions on HIM, he had to find an alternative for one of my meds…and that was ok by me, because it was a PITA finding a pharmacy to fill it! (Walgreens was fined 80 million by the DEA because of their practices, so, now they don’t fill narcotics or any “scheduled” drugs! A pharmacy that doesn’t sell pharmaceuticals!). So…all of THAT to say…when I tell my doc that I need “nerve pills” so I can cope with Stabbykin’s antics….I’m gonna have to go to Canada just to get my drugs! (Thank Dog for Medicare! In spit of being pretty “healthy” this year, Medicare paid out over 30K to my pain doc, and I’ve gone into “catastrophic coverage” with my meds…without medicare, I’d be homeless and more broke than I already am!! Speaking of health …how are you doing? You didn’t mention your eye…is that cured? How’s the rest? You know how I feel kiddo…take care of yourself…we need the laughter you give us!

      • reallybigmeandog says:

        Hai Mama: Yeah, that is how it is getting in Ontario. I voluntarily stopped taking Oxy contin because I am relatively young chronologically speaking and I expect I am going to live a very long time. I asked my doc what there was once I got a tolerance for the Oxy and do you know what he said? “you will be looking for a heroin dealer.” NOT EVEN KIDDING!! Now, I have a ridiculous amount of pain, so much so that I have considered just lopping off the various offending parts at times, BUT, I am going to have it for ever and it IS going to get worse. So, I told my doctor to stop prescribing the Oxys and I would make due with just Percocet for now. I don’t have that thing in my brain that makes you addicted to stuff. I had been taking 400 mg of them for almost 6 years and just quit that minute. Course now, when I require them back, I am NOT going to be able to get them because of how the laws have changed up here. So I may be looking for that heroin dealer anyway LOL. My eye was getting better, I did my course of anti-biotics and once they were done it started to come back. Doc ordered me another round. Woohoo!! So no, not better, but getting there at least.
        Take care mama. Thanks for reading

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