Kim Jong Un just friended Arizona on Facebook-Arizona
Hello. Um, Kelly said she needed to take a minute….something about Stabby and then PV going out trick or trouting and crazy people on twitter and communist countries…..I don’t know either and I can fucking read minds, I just know she mad!!!
Anyway, she said to tell you she would see you tomorrow for sick fuck Saturday and to try and keep you all entertained with Stabby news of some kind. Since I am a fucking Psychic and NOT a blog writer, I ‘m not exactly sure what that means, so I have been bouncing from mind to mind of the Stabby camp to try and come up with something, anything to write. I don’t know if I mentioned it, but your Law Professor/Dean of Fuckery somehow managed to wrangle me into a thousand year contract of indentured servitude. That and she scares me a little.
I actually caught a break since the whole lot of them ended up back in court today for the pesky little court blackout thing. Of course
sometimes not a Judge Stephens denied it and it is now being appealed to a higher court. Troy Hayden of Fox10 went on air to say that he has had three separate sources say that it was indeed Stabby on the stand yesterday just like the bosslady figured. (she made me say that) Anyway, Stabby jingle jangled her way into court today in her lovely stripes to see what not a Judge Stephens had to say.
I decided to save Stabby for last since getting into her head is every single bit as nauseating as it sounds, and I like to save the vomit inducement part of the program for last whenever possible. I started with Nurmi, but as usual lately he was crying in his head so I figured I would come back to him later. Next I stopped on Jenny….wait, something is coming in from the boss. Yes I am writing your stupid blog. Yes I do know what indentured servitude means. You’re a law professor, it’s not like you haven’t told me a million times. Uh, huh. Okay. Yes. Can I finish this sometime tonight now? Kthxbai.
She said to put up a link to Troy on Fox so……here. http://www.fox10phoenix.com/clip/10799424/arias-defense-attorney-tries-to-close-courtroom
Anyway Jenny from the Cell Block was sitting next to Stabbykins because she and Nurmi need to be separated by at least one person at all times. Jenny looked as high as usual and like Stabby had managed to drain a little bit more of whatever life force is left in her. Her defenses are pretty much nil at this point so I had no trouble getting into her head.
Why do I have to be here? Fuck. I was supposed to meet my dealer at 4. No way I am going to make that now. And why do I have to sit here? Why does nobody remember what she said to me during the last trial.
Then this popped in her head. God this chick is a nutbag. Smile and nod Jenny, she’s looking at you again. Remember to put extra hair spray on tomorrow. I think she may actually be scaring me bald. I wonder if my dealer can hook up with me later. Can we just move this along. We all know that Stabby’s friend Judge Stephens is going to deny this motion so WHY ARE WE EVEN HERE!! I wonder if she is going to ask me for another ball gown and an Oscar like last time. And I don’t want to hear about how she plans on smuggling it into the jail. Gross. Damn, this motion hearing is harshing my mellow in a big way. Fuck it, maybe if I turn towards Alfred E just a little, I can play angry birds on my phone and Stabby won’t notice.
Next I bounced over to Juan because Nurmi was still sobbing in his head. Juan is always fun to get a read on. DIEBITCHDIEBITCHDIEBITCHDIEBITCHDIEBITCHDIEBITCH…….Hey!! Why has nobody tossed one of those good boy treats at me yet? I like those. This Judge is a complete fucking idiot. I have never come across a Judge like this in the history of my career. It’s quite disturbing when you think about the implications of what she is doing. That’s okay, I am sure the level heads in a higher court, judges separated from this trial will see the error is Judge Stephens ruling. Even if the ruling remains intact, it’s not going to make even a scintilla of difference. The facts are on my side. She is a convicted murderess and all that is left to do is finish my case and then DIEBITCHDIEBITCHDIEBITCHDIEBITCHDIEBITCH………..It went on like that through the whole hearing, while he left the building, as he walked to his car, when he stopped for coffee and until he saw a puppy.
Nurmi was up next. He had himself under some semblance of control so I went ahead and took the read. FUCK.MY.LIFE. FUCKIT!! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS SHIT. It’s nice that Jenny stays so stoned she hasn’t realized that she is a screwed as I am. I should probably tell her, but she will come down soon enough and realize where she is and that is always a fun moment. I can’t believe this dumb assed judge is going for any of this. Anti death penalty judges are AWESOME!! I can’t help it if the crazy bitch wants the court closed. She won’t tell me why, but I know. I bet a billion dollars that we are on the cusp of story number 4 and she doesn’t want anyone to know she is going to change her story again. Watch her say her daddy diddled her when she was a baby now. Or her mommy sold her ass for heroin money. Something. Well screw it, I’m just going to sit here and let her say whatever the fuck she wants. I’m not asking her anything because that way I’m not suborning perjury, but if she wants to say she was abducted by aliens and the anal probe is what got her started down this road, that’s fine with me. Fucking Bitch. I FUCKING HATE YOU SO HARD YOU FUCKING BITCH.
I went to not a Judge Stephens next but all I got was that horrible white noise sound from the sidebar. Weird!!
Last and absolutely least, and after downing several gravol and some alka-seltzer just for good measure I got to Stabby Einstein. Ahahahahahahahahahahaha…………Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Oh my god, I cannot believe that she is going for this. Got myself out of my cell on a Friday, got the entire legal panel for the media here, fucked with that goddamn nasty prosecutors day, and Alfred E. is looking pretty pissed. Ahahahahahahahahaha. I swear, that perfume that Jenny is wearing smells just like weed. She says it’s called ESCAPE. Love that name, gonna get some as soon as my appeal gets done and I get out of here. Can’t wait for trick or trouting tonight. I have no idea what that is, but my new number 1 flag waver PV tells me it’s way better than trick or treating. I bet I can get 1500 for this pair of glasses. Cha Cha better be picking up all these Styrofoam cups I have put wonder hole number 3 on so that I can auction those too. You know George and Joe will buy all of them because my DNA has graced the rims….ohhh that sounds so dirty….now I’m horny. Hopefully, I will be incarcerated at least long enough to win Prison Idol for another year. Peons. They should all just realize that they need to bow before me like this stupid judge. She gets it that I am so much more Einstein-y than she is. I won’t have to de-edify her I guess. God I hate my hair. Can’t wait to get back on the stand. Wait till they hear the story I cooked up this time. It’s awesome!! They want mitigation? Oh I’ve got your mitigation bitches. It’s not lying if the jury doesn’t know what I said on the stand the first time. Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Why is Jenny turned away from me like that? Bitch better not be playing on her cell phone again. Maybe it’s time to have another talk. About sharp instruments and stuff. Hope we can drag this out till dinner. Jenny better have gotten my gown by court on Monday. I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and….EWWWWW that is it!!
There you go. I have written a blog and lived up to my contract. Kelly will see you tomorrow with her regularly scheduled programming.
In house Psychic DEFINITELY peacing the fuck out!!
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