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The Stabby Einstein Penalty Phase Re-Trial – The If You Are Throwing It At A Man They Are Going To Take It Edition

November 14, 2014

Robert Louis Stevenson Would like his Novel renamed please – Arizona

Hai Kids. It’s me, Stabby hater of all haters, Law Professor and Dean of Fuckery, content creator, sarcasm major, and general pain in the fucking ass to Stabbyites everywhere. YAY ME!!

I know everyone wants to know what happened with my heart tests this week. The first one which was on Monday was where they shot me full of nuclear stuff and then took pictures of my heart for half an hour. I did not feel great after I came home on Monday but I didn’t feel that bad. Just a little flu like almost. Yesterday was a stress test. They hooked me up to an IV full of nuclear crap and put me on a treadmill. I have two prosthetic knees and hips so it was painful. The treadmill speeds up and inclines at five minute increments. My hips and knees were killing me but I refused to quit. I was about 4 to 6 minutes from done when I had some sort of cardiac event. It wasn’t a heart attack, I’ve had a couple of those and it didn’t feel like that. Most likely more of the angina I was diagnosed with a long time ago. The nurses wanted me to stop, but if I stopped they couldn’t use the data so I said no way keep going and after a few seconds of argument they agreed and we kept going till the end. I ended up getting them into trouble though which I feel badly about. Then I had to drink a can of ginger-ale, get another plunger full of nuclear whatever and go for another round of pictures. And that would be where things went weird. A cardiologist who happened to be there came in and asked me all manor of very weird questions. Did anyone in my family have any type of congenital heart defect? Did my mother drink or use drugs while she was pregnant with me? Of course we know the answer to that one. Both and lots. Was I checked as a baby for heart defects? I told him I didn’t know but I would assume so since the bitch that bore me had one. I was getting the distinct impression that something was up so I asked him if he could just tell me what the results said. After all that he said no because he was not my cardiologist. So then I asked him if he thought there was a problem. He said and I quote “yes, in my opinion there is a problem.” He said my cardiologist would have a report on his desk by today and I guess he did because I have to go see him tomorrow. Ross already said he’d take me. Hearts are really, really easy to fix even if there is something wrong, and after the shit show that has been my life, there is no way that something as ridiculous as a heart problem is going to take me out. Sorry Stabbyites, I’m not going anywhere. You all now know exactly what I know until tomorrow.

Now, onto the never ending bowl of shit that is this farce of a penalty phase retrial.

Today it would have been much more fun to have root canal, or watch paint dry, or watch wheat grow.

Interestingly, a couple of the Jurors from the first trial showed up today. At one point a phone went off in the gallery and everyone collectively lost their shit. Nurmi started screaming that they were being secretly taped to which I say “kinda creepy being taped when you don’t know isn’t it nurms?” Turned out that it was just an alarm on someone’s phone that they forgot to turn off and they were allowed to return to the gallery. The entire gallery got a very stern talking to from the bailiff about phones being turned off. At least it broke up the monotony a bit.

Resident expert for pay Dr. L.C. Miccio-Fonseca focuses in the areas of sex offenders and those with unusual sex twists. Why Alfred E. is still trying to retry the original case is beyond me, but at this point there isn’t anything that would shock me about this trial. If they walked a billy goat into the courtroom and said he was secretly having sex with it too, I wouldn’t even be a little surprised. This is the character of the people on the defense side of the table. They are willing to do anything, and say anything to try and make Travis into a bad guy. The only thing Travis did that was bad  in my opinion was hooking up with one particular psychopath.

The jumbotron was rolled out so that everyone could see all of Travis’ personal emails in 50ft high glory. Fonseca remained on the stand under oath as some video from the original trial was played. The video of Desiree and her brother and the trip to  Havasupai. This was the trip where so much was made of the fight that Travis and Stabby had in the car. Until the day the siblings testified, they believed the ninja story and had no idea Stabby was about to plead guilty. This is what she had to say afterwards to clarify her testimony on the stand.

desiree explanation

The Jurors seemed to be taking copious amounts of notes today, at least during the replay of the testimony from the first trial. It almost seems like the defense is doing everything it can to just run the clock down today and keep a sympathetic picture of the convicted murderess in their heads for the weekend. Poor poor Stabby. A man actually didn’t want her, what is a girl to do? There was one sidebar before the video was over and then it was done.

Alfred E. Nurmi began his examination of his paid liar   expert. He asked if Dan and Desiree had a window into the relationship of Travis and the Psycho bitch to which the expert answered yes and put $200 in her pocket. Nurmi in his usual fashion is leading the witness so that I yelled objection leading at least three times. Apparently the little pitbull yelled it even more often than I did.

Nurmi wanted to know if they were hiding the sex because of religion? How would the paid expert know why they were hiding the sex? He finally got in Did them being together have to be secret based on their religion? The liar for money said yes and put another $200 in her pocket. Then he wanted to know if they were doing things against their religion. See this frustrates me not being in the courtroom. Is this woman an LDS expert? If she isn’t and I don’t remember that in her CV, how is she qualified to answer that question. Even if the answer is obvious how is she qualified to answer? Anyway she said yes and she was up to $600. Then she began to explain the differences between the sexual Travis and the religious Travis because apparently everyone on earth besides The Einstein-y defense are idiots.

The expert in twisted sexual behavior, talked about murder victim Travis Alexander’s issues with his Mormon faith and sexual desires. And the mighty pitbull began to roar, and roar, and roar.

Fonseca said that Alexander had a “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” personality. Juan was not the one today, he objected just about every time Nurmi opened his mouth. Maybe just to see how Nurmi liked it. He is objecting because like it or not, Nurmi is trying very hard to get the Jurors to retry the case in their own minds. In reality, there is a good likelihood that this is what will happen. Nurmi is working hard for his murder money. He is throwing every damn thing at the wall that he can find to see if anything will stick. He is trying to show that she was the victim of emotional abuse, he is trying to portray Travis as T-Dogg, user of women, he is trying to convince the jury that Travis was emotionally volatile. The Jury is trying to convince themselves to stay awake.

Resident paid sex expert Dr. Fonseca was more of the same with Alfred E. pounding it into everyone’s head, whether they wanted it there or not that Travis was using Stabby for sex while searching for a good Mormon woman with morals a little higher than those of an Alley Cat to marry.

They read out the email where Travis admitted that he did have a tendency to use women and that he felt bad for the way he made Deanna feel. you know Deanna, the one he was actually in love with. The jury seemed to get it that he recognized his own character flaw and the seemed like they thought it was a good thing. Every time Deanna’s name got mentioned, Stabby rolled her eyes. The Jury was watching Jody more than the witnesses and not liking what they were seeing. Because they were seeing Stabby in all her glory. The Stabby Einstein who was better than any other woman on the planet. The very best part was when it was said out loud that Deanna was the love of Travis’ life and that Stabby was just a piece of ass. She became visibly angry. She still cannot accept that Travis didn’t love her. She was throwing her pussy at him and he was happy to catch it and that was all there was to their relationship. The expert witness called Travis a cheater because he was dating Lisa and bumping uglies with ugly, I mean Stabby, I mean ugly Stabby.

Then they played Dan Freemans testimony from the last trial. Most of the jurors looked like they wished that the earth would just open up and swallow them whole. The jury is bored. The video should have been edited for the relevant portions only. The Jurors did seem to wake up a bit while on the video Dan explained the baptism ritual and who was qualified to baptize someone. There are actual sidebars on the tapes being played. Sidebars from the last trial. Are you fucking kidding me. What a waste of time and money. But like I said, Nurms is trying to run out the clock for the weekend. Count on it. Juan will not get up today. And the tape is mercifully over.

Now we are going to get to hear the hired gun give an opinion of an opinion of a recollection that was 6 years old at the time. I seriously just can’t with what this defense is doing. OMG Ms I am an expert witness and have no bias one way or the other just referred to Stabby as Miss Jodi NOT Miss Arias. Not cool paid expert person. You just showed your hand. Just like LaToilette did. She said that Travis not wanting to show her off hurt her wittle feewing. Poor Stabby.

Oh goody, we have another brainiac that just invents words as they go. The word of the day kids is SEXITIVE. Learn it, it might be on an exam later. It is used to describe an action. I have no idea what action but there ya go. BREAKING NEWS: The paid witness says that Stabby was just a booty call. The entire state of Arizona just said, really? Two hours on the stand to tell us something that the whole world other than maybe Einstein over there already knew? Can we get a refund? Alfred E. then asked Fonseca about the difference between secrecy and privacy in intimacy. She had no idea what the fuck he was talking about. She said something about it being late in the day and she was tired.

Then we went back into more fucking emails. And she got to read them to us because apparently no one can read either. The testimony has slowed to a snails pace which I am telling you is part of the plan. Nurmi has managed to come up with a hundred and sixty two ways to say that Travis was Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. We get it Nurmi, he was leading a double life. So fucking what? Nurmi is losing the Jury. They are bored and they are exceptionally tired of hearing the same thing in a hundred different forms. Travis was pretending to be a virgin but wasn’t. Travis wanted a booty call but a good Mormon wife. Travis liked fucking Stabby (I just threw up in my mouth a little). The paid witness confirmed that he was discussing marriage with Lisa while getting back door down with Stabby. Again so fucking what. The male jurors collectively rolled their eyes when the paid witness started to talk about Travis’ infidelity.
And baby Jesus gifted us with an end to todays testimony.

Good god, I cannot wait for Juan to get his muzzle around the throat of LaToilette 2.0

That’s it for tonight kids. Have a great night.

RBMD peacing the fuck out!!

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