There is not enough Tylenol in the entire world for this shit – Arizona
Hai Kids. Welcome to another edition of the never ending Stabby Einstein penalty phase retrial. The penalty phase that the Convict would like to turn into the I’m getting out of jail by Saturday do-over.
Just before we get to todays foray into the almost insane some of you may have noticed the disclaimer that I have posted on the bottom right hand side of my blog. It is more about the people and entities that are NOT allowed to post my blog than who is. If I have failed to mention you by name or by site than consider yourself allowed to use my blog in whole or in part as long as it is credited to the Really Big Mean Dog Article you have used. This is just more stuff that my lawyer friend said would be pertinent for me to do, makes litigation much easier. So, if I forgot to name you by name and you have been linking my blog or using parts of it or whatever and you have not been expressly forbidden from doing that, please just continue to do what you have been doing all along. People were not listed in order of importance, just who popped into my head at that particular moment and I had to stop naming specific people that were allowed permission because I ran out of room.
Court today started an avalanche of questions in my head, non of which have been answered to any satisfaction even by some of the greatest legal minds that I know. They are doing the exact same head scratch that I am. Questions like how is a paid expert allowed to give an opinion on a seven year old email with no context and without speaking with either of the people the email was between seeing as one of them is dead and the other was not approached. How is that not all just hearsay? How is there any foundation for the email? How is someone does someone who is purported to be an expert in sexual kink not know what a fuck buddy is, or a friend with benefits? Does that not toss the whole sex expert thing directly out the window? How do you get any sense of what is truth and what is a lie from Stabbykins (other than if her mouth is moving she is likely full of shit) when you have spent less than 8 hours with her split between two sessions? How does she spend a day and a half on the stand talking about Chris and sky hughes perceptions of the relationship between Travis and the murdering bitch without ever having an interview with Chris and Sky hughes? A day and a fucking half and never talked to either one of them? Really? I have obviously made some egregious career choices in my life and would now like to become a sexual kink expert. This sunshine filled lollypop of triple dipped psycho is going for $300 per hour. That the Aunty Sue we need more money for appeals and experts and stuff definitely isn’t paying for. You are Arizona. I would have done it for half just so you know. Of course it would have been over Skype, but still. I could have saved you a fortune and done a way better job.
This is Dr. Sexpert. Thank you Jeff Gold. She will now for the duration of the retrial be referred to as Dr. Sexpert. Also, just as an aside, it’s pretty bad when the kink expert is looking at the defense attorney like she needs an adult. Just sayin’.
Anyway, we started the day going over emails from Lisa Andrews. Lisa was crazy in love with Travis AKA T-Dogg AKA Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde at one point and wanted to marry him. She apparently had a hard time staying away from him once they broke up which proves…what? Travis was kind and funny and attractive and dated people. THE BASTARD!!
Dr. Sexpert started to get into the idea that Travis had a thing for young girls. Juan was up barking lack of foundation (thank god I was starting to think he was sick or had lost his voice or something) and was sustained. Alfred E in his usual “I’m getting paid by the word fashion” began again. Dr. Sexpert got in that Stabby with a bald cooch and braids raised a red flag for her to which I said “why, did Travis hold her down, shave the bitch and braid her hair..OR did she show up that way?” Myself and Jeff Gold seemed to be on the same page because he was as confused as I was as to how this was relevant to anything. Dr. Sexpert also took Ms Jodi’s *BARF,BARF, and BARF* word for it that Travis was pulling it to pics of little boys, never mind that in all these years absolutely ZERO evidence of this has ever been produced and said that was another huge red flag. Because I am nothing if not thorough even if the subject matter is ridiculous and happens to disgust me I did a bunch of research on pedophilia and am now probably on some fucking watch list somewhere. By definition pedophiles have a sexual attraction to children predominantly 11 yrs of age or younger and do not generally cross gender lines. That means that they either like little boys or little girls. Of course as with all things there are those that don’t care, but as a rule, they like boys or they like girls.
Now before we move on to the rest of the paid $300 an hour by the not so great State of Arizona’s witnesses testimony, I have a question for you all. You don’t have to answer out loud if you don’t want to, but answer it in your head and be honest. How many of you were doing sexual things when you were 12, 13, 14 years old. Not forced things, those don’t count, but sexually curious things, be it masturbating, giving someone a handjob, or anything of that nature. With yourself or with someone, doesn’t matter. My point is that at those ages, kids become sexually curious and aware of themselves sexually. Travis was 12 and 13 and 14 at some point. So what are the odds that he might have been playing I will play with yours if you will play with mine with someone around the same age as him and she had an orgasm and that is how he knew what that sounded like? That is a perfectly reasonable and also perfectly normal part of growing up to me. That does not make him a pedophile. I know it’s a gross conversation but somebody had to say it. It is a perfectly reasonable explanation for why that statement ever came out of his mouth. If that was his first experience with a female orgasm it would have been a fond memory and a memory that would have aroused him because he is a man and the wind blowing in the right direction will arouse most of them.
Now, back to Dr. Sexpert. She is officially LaToilette 2.O and has downed the whole gallon of Stabby Kool-Aid. Why oh why would poor Stabby go back to a man she had just allegedly discovered masturbating to pictures he shouldn’t have been, never mind that Napoleon never barked when she came in, never mind that the Christmas decorations she was supposedly there to help him put in the attic were never found, never mind that he decided to masturbate to illegal material in the middle of the day when he knew she was coming and didn’t lock the door, she caught him and it sickened her to the point that she vomited and got a headache. Then she went back to him. According to Dr. Sexpert this would be because she was so blinded by love for him that she could not help herself. (somebody remind me to send Mi’Lady a thank you note for the Pretoria puke bucket) Then she emphatically stated that she was not calling Travis a pedophile, there were just some red flags. She next said that Travis and Stabby were not engaged in any type of unlawful sexual activities which kind of cancels out the red flags she spoke of earlier yeah?
Then she said the most hilariously funny thing I have ever heard in my life. It was put a half can of pop though my nose funny. She said that Travis was the sexually seasoned one and poor wittle Stabbykins was completely unseasoned. This is a woman that could turn at least two aisles in a candy store into sex toys but she was sexually unseasoned. What exactly is Dr. Sexperts standard if this succubus is considered sexually unseasoned by her?
Alfred E. Nurmi was STILL on direct when court was called for the evening and it was announced that due to some magical emergency court would be dark till Thursday. Yup, December 18th is totally going to happen.
Juan apparently has filed a motion for sanctions against Nurms because the hard drive that was provided to the State was one that belonged to some dude name Tony and had nothing to do with the case. He said that Nurmi is obviously trying to stall and he wanted the mirror image of the correct hard drive by noon today, or he wanted Nurmi in front of an ethics committee or facing some jail time. Totally won’t happen, but it goes to show how pissed off Juan is getting.
In totally unrelated news, Charles Manson applied for a marriage license in Kings County today. He is going to marry some chick named Star. Hey, Stabby thinks she’s a star, Manson is marrying a star. Maybe Manson and Stabby are tying the knot. Ewwww, I just gave myself the willies. Christ on a cracker, can you imagine.
So there you have it, a big huge bunch of nothing, much like the rest of the big bunches of nothing that seem to be this entire penalty phase retrial that the defense is trying to turn into a whole new trial. I hate Stabby. I hate this trial. I am starting to hate Arizona. I still love pop tarts.
RBMD peacing the fuck out. Have a great night everybody.
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