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The Really Big Mean Dog School of Law – The “You’re a Dick! No, You’re a Dick!” Hearing

Hello Students.  Please stand and face Florida for the singing of the Class anthem.  Now Salute!! Thank you take your seats.  Your Law Professor and Dean of Fuckery has had a very trying day.  There is nothing that I hate more than hearings.  Any kind of hearings.  Ones that have bearing on a case at hand are enough of a pain in the ass never mind the ones we are going to be talking about today where it is nothing more than a pissing contest in order to waste even more time than has already been wasted.

Before we start class, I have some announcements.  We have reached the half way portion of the term.  Congratulations to everyone who has made it this far as well as congratulations to Deb on giving up her sharp instrument fetish as well as to Silly for her stunning knife collection.  We will begin campaigning for who will give the fuckology address at graduation, so get out there and flog for votes.  Oh, and since ultimately it is my decision, I suggest bribes.  Remember what I told you in class before. If opposing council offers you large sums of money and nobody saw it, did it really ever happen?  In the event that your Law Professor needs to take some time off, BlueWhiteRed has agreed to run the class for me while I am away.  You will of course make your Dean of Fuckery proud and make sure to take notes and turn in all assignments on time.  BWR will be fielding all emails, comments, and will no doubt be requesting some guest blogging so please think of some subjects you may want to write about.  This is only if I don’t feel that I can blog while I convalesce.  The doctor assures me that if I am feeling up to it, I can blog from the hospital so we will see.

Take out your tablets, this is something that as lawyers you are unfortunately going to have to deal with on probably more than one occasion.

There are many reasons for hearings to be held.  There could be a problem with a witness.  There could be accusations of Jury tampering, there could be hearing regarding what evidence is admissible or whether an expert witness needs to be qualified.  These are all perfectly valid reasons to hold hearings.  Then of course there are the bullshit hearings that are meant to do nothing more than waste time and try and stall the inevitable a little bit longer.  In this category there is the “I need 127 more months with the evidence because 6 years wasn’t enough” hearing, the “I am offended by the press that I loved long time during the first trial” hearing and when all else fails and both sides want to punch each other directly in the nuts, there is the “you’re a dick! No. You’re a dick!” hearing.  That is the hearing we will be concentrating on today.

The “you’re a dick. No, you’re a dick hearing is basically where opposing council, a court reporter, the judge, depending on who council is a vet with a tranquilizer gun, two or three fake experts, the defendant in all its jingly jangly glory, the representatives of the family of the victim if they so wish and if it is a really good hearing usually a referee and a couple of medics. Once everyone is present the hearing will begin. Except it won’t because defense council will immediately begin telling the sometimes Judge at the hearing that he does not want his client filmed during the hearing. Just as a side note, if you passed contract law and you want to be a defense attorney, you can usually wrangle being paid by the word or word and length of trial. Things to remember when deciding what specialty to go into. Once defense is told to sit on it and spin the hearing can begin.

There will be some vaguely believable reason to have the hearing.  It will usually start with one lawyer calling the other lawyer a big fat liar liar pants on fire.  The insulted party will than usually come back with something like I’m not the liar, you are the liar and your expert is an idiot.  The first lawyer will generally come back with my expert is less of an idiot than your expert because they can make shadow animals in eyeballs to which offended lawyer number one will laugh and say oh yes the Taco Bell dog, I remember it well. He will likely present a visual just to prove he does remember this particular idiot expert. taco bell dog

 

After a bit more back and forth, the inevitable You’re a dick. No, you’re a dick will be given voice and that is when the fun really begins.

If you are dealing with a particularly um……lively attorney, tranquilizer darts 1 and 2 will likely be deployed and everyone will hope they have some effect.  There will generally be back up darts on hand just in case.  Then and only then can the battle of the idiot expert witnesses begin.

The referee will likely position himself between opposing council and near the top corner of where idiot expert number 1 is seated.

Opposing council will each have a go at each idiot expert.  It will quickly become apparent which side each idiot expert is working for.  Every once in a while you will get a bonus and you will have an idiot expert that was formerly and idiot expert in a different area of expertise.  Those are always a good time.  They are ALWAYS the cocky ones.

Lets say we have suddenly missing files on a computer hard drive.  Defense council will say that prosecution council knew about the files and deleted them on purpose.  Prosecution council will deny that this ever occurred.  Prosecutions idiot witness will say that there were ZERO files on the computer.  Defenses idiot expert that has already failed in one discipline will say that that there were 800 billion porn files that were deleted and will then proceed to get into an epic pissing match with the prosecuting attorney.  If you have a prosecuting attorney who needs to be tranquilized prior to being turned loose on witnesses, this is not generally recommended but can be hysterically funny.

First, the attorneys will argue with who asked for the evidence, who had the evidence, who turned on the evidence, how long they turned it on for, whether it was even the correct evidence, if there was even evidence and eventually it will get blamed on some third party who no longer has anything to do with the trial. This attorney will then become offended and they will offer testimony of the it wasn’t me variety. See our second class of the case study of the it wasn’t me defense. It wasn’t me will blame the prosecuting attorney, the prosecuting attorney will blame it wasn’t me and one or more of the idiot experts and if he’s good, like Juan Martinez good he will even get it alluded too that the defendant itself did it onto the record.

In extremely rare circumstances you may get an idiot expert that chooses that particular moment to completely lose their shit and that is when you leave stupid boring hearing and you have a party on your hands. This is also when you get to find out why there is a tranquilizer gun and a referee on hand. For brevities sake we will refer to idiot expert as BN for Big Numpti. BN may take several moments to up his laptop so that it can be projected onto the big screen. The BN will then explain what the current iteration of his area of idiot expertise is. The BN will then go over all the rules of forensics as he understands them. The first rule of forensics is that you don’t talk about forensics………..wait, I may have that mixed up with something else, your Law Professor is very tired. Anyway, BN will then go over the last time the drive with the missing files was turned on (maybe he tells it how hot it is and asks if it wants to see his disc drive or something who the fuck knows) how long it was on for, what it did while it was on, then BN will explain that turning the cpu on and off without an NCASE program in place violates forensics protocols. Then BN will go over of the Trojans and viruses that caused some of the porn files to magically appear and that there were also tons, like 80 bajillion porn files that were manually accessed. (why does manually accessed sound dirty when coupled with the word porn?) This type of Q and A will last for the better part of forever and you will probably fall asleep five or six times during this part of the hearing. It is only when the prosecutor gets up to examine the idiot witness that the fun and games begin.

First BN will say there were 166000 porn files on the hard drive. ONE. HUNDRED. AND. SIXTY. SIX. THOUSAND. this will be your clue that this particular BN is going in. The prosecuting attorney who has already been tranquilized will choose that moment to show the entire room that the dope doesn’t work anymore and snap at the BN “YOU’RE GUESSING RIGHT? YOU DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW.” BN will let us know at this moment that he has for sure gone insane when he refers to the prosecuting attorney BY. HIS. NAME. and fire back that the thing was packed with porn. Phones with missing sim cards may come up, and if the prosecutor is good like I said they will get it insinuated on the record that the defendant did something with the evidence to get rid of it. The BN may try to argue the point and the referee may have to jump in the middle to hold the prosecutor off long enough for another dart to be deployed before he snaps out “YOU WEREN’T THERE WHEN THESE PHONES WERE SEIZED WERE YOU?” The prosecuting attorney will be by now foaming at the mouth at being challenged by the BN. It will quite frankly piss him off. If you think the prosecutor is dangerously angry at this point, start placing side bets on what it takes to push him completely over the edge and hope the BN says something like “Your question is irrelevant.” Then hope you bet within the next 60 seconds as the BN says “You don’t understand computers.” that should do the trick in most hearings of this nature.

The prosecuting attorney at this point should make suggestions that BN himself broke the hard drive. The obviously insane BN will have some charming retort like that is just slimy. Twice. The sometimes Judge attending the hearing will at about this point notice that the prosecuting attorney is very close to launching and possibly mauling the BN to death so the hearing will be called for the day and not reconvened for about a month, hopefully giving the veterinarian time to find some new kind of tranquilizer to use at the remainder of the hearing.

There you have it class, the You’re a dick! No. You’re a dick! hearing. Have a lovely evening.

Class dismissed.

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49 Responses to The Really Big Mean Dog School of Law – The “You’re a Dick! No, You’re a Dick!” Hearing

  1. Funny, funny, funny.

    Yup! That was pretty much how the day went! Truly a mess. Juan was PISSED. No hail Mary for for the def I’m thinkin’.

    And can’t wait for my fuckery mug.

  2. Kelly, now you’ve done it. You shoulda known I have this terrible ugly cough and when I’m coughing, I wonder if I’ll catch my breath and go on living. But you had to seduce me into reading this blog.

    You just had to write things like, “First BN (short for Big Numpti) will say there were 166000 porn files on the hard drive. ONE. HUNDRED. AND. SIXTY. SIX. THOUSAND. this will be your clue that this particular BN is going in. The prosecuting attorney who has already been tranquilized will choose that moment to show the entire room that the dope doesn’t work anymore and snap at the BN “YOU’RE GUESSING RIGHT? YOU DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW.”

    BN will let us know at this moment that he has for sure gone insane when he refers to the prosecuting attorney BY. HIS. NAME. and fire back that the thing was packed with porn. Phones with missing sim cards may come up, and if the prosecutor is good like I said they will get it insinuated on the record that the defendant did something with the evidence to get rid of it. The BN may try to argue the point and the referee may have to jump in the middle to hold the prosecutor off long enough for another dart to be deployed before he snaps out “YOU WEREN’T THERE WHEN THESE PHONES WERE SEIZED WERE YOU?” The prosecuting attorney will be by now foaming at the mouth at being challenged by the BN. It will quite frankly piss him off.

    Its cruel for you to make me read that and laugh so hard that my ‘coughing bug’ kicks in and just about finished me off.

    But I admit, I like the way you told it much better than the media people who were so skilled and trying to keep us up-to-the-minute.

    Thanks, Kelly. Just a reminder…I’ll be praying for you while you’re at the hospital. I promise. And thank BlueWhiteRed for us, for giving us our daily dose of your blog in the event you don’t feel up to it for a few days.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Judy: OMG death by blog was almost induced. I’m sorry I didn’t know that was a thing. LOL. Yesterday, I had no clue how I was going to explain that shit show and then this happened. I really need to donate my brain to science. After I’m dead. I’m sorry I made you cough so hard. Thank you for the prayers. I think you already thanked Blue but I will just in case for ya. Take care, thanks for reading and for commenting. That is the best part for me.

  3. Mama Via says:

    I always have to put Depends on before reading…. Otherwise the sofa gets wet from the tears running down my thighs when I laugh too hard….

  4. shyloh says:

    You are AWESOME! I read you before listening to the media. Truth hurts but it’s so funny! It’s sad but if I don’t laugh. I’d have to meet J. M. in an alley, drink and be tranquilized.

    a side note. I thank God you didn’t ask me to help with the blog. I can’t speeeel. Don’t know where to put comma’s, I kind of over use them, or when to end a sentence. It would be a mess. But it would be funny…… Thanks to those who are willing to help. I’d miss this blog for sure.

    God speed on your health! Namaste’

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Shyloh: The truth sucks ass, but it is funny. Actually in my head, everything is funny. I don’t know why it just is. Thanks for your thoughts shyloh, and I expect guest blogging. Have a great day.

  5. Mama Via says:

    Shyloh…I only spell cuz spellcheck fixes everything for me, I too, use too many commas….and I’m addicted to those damn….dot dot dot dots….oh well, I write like my sicopathic mind thinks…that, in and of itself should be scary…but, thankfully, i still manage to have a friend, or two…and those that don’t love me…(like those fukkin plastic bitches in la Quinta that love you as long as you either have more money than they do or need you only as long as you will do their fukkin homework while attending interior design school) I say FUCK EM!! If ya can’t take me as I am, poor, smart, dressed in clothes from Costco, turribul speeler, that uses too many commas, I say FUCK YALL TOO and peace the fuck out! I don’t need to keep up with “Mrs Jones”…y’all love me as I am, and I don’t have to pretend I’m anyone I’m not!

  6. Donna says:

    Hi Kelly. This is my first time (virgin fan) commenting on your fantastic blog and I must say that you are truly an inspiration to everyone who has ever wondered how they will possibly wake up in the morning and make it through another day, especially after what you have endured in your lifetime. You have managed to come out on the other side of your nightmare and tell your story in such a way that it leaves people feeling so many different emotions, but mostly just AMAZED that you are still standing! For that very reason alone, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that you are going to come out on the other side of this heart condition standing stronger than ever. I commend you on your strength and courage and I thank you for sharing your life with us. Please know that my family will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

    Now to the issue at hand…this farce of a penalty re-trial that is taking place in Maricopa County. I, like 99.999% of the general population on the face of this planet I’m sure, have nothing but the utmost respect for the Alexander family! They have to be the classiest family I have ever seen in the history of time. I just don’t know how they sit in that courtroom and listen to the bullshit that is spewed from the murdering whore and her slimy defense team. I personally would have been in the jail with stabby if I had to sit there and look at her disgusting face and listen to this crap again. As if the guilt phase of this trial wasn’t enough for them…their beloved brother is being dragged through the mud all over again and this time it’s fucking worse, imo. She, the stabby one, just will not go down. She is going to “slice” their wounds open repeatedly and continue to pour salt in those wounds until they drag her crazy BPD ugly ass off to Perryville. Then I hope and pray that she dies a slow and painful death. I know everyone is tired of and frustrated with this circus, but in the end I do believe that this jury will do the right thing and give the 3 hole wonder the DP. Then everyone will sleep a little better just knowing that this evil POS is locked up behind bars and she will NEVER be able to torture and butcher another human being in her miserable lifetime. Yay for that!

    Well I never intended for this to be so long, but I just had to “meet” you Kelly and tell you how much I respect you. Please put me down for one of your mugs too. Since the “fuck” word is part of my daily vocabulary, I’ll take that one. I will think about you and your incredible strength and courage every time I drink my morning coffee. I am a paralegal and my attorney will love it! He’s a bit of a pit bull also and he reminds me of the great Juan. In fact, I’ll probably have to lock it up at night in my desk so that he doesn’t accidentally “walk off” with it. Lol

    Take care of yourself Kelly and please remember that you now have a family who care about you and obviously love you.

    Donna 😘

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Donna: Welcome to the comment section, I promise to be gentle. Thank you so much for the kind words. My heart isn’t even a huge concern for me, just a blip on the radar that this life has been. Oh the farce of a trial. They are the most stoic people the Alexanders. It gets worse every damn day, some knew thing comes out and it’s a battle of the fucktards as to whether it is true or not and even if it is true, who the hell needs to know all those secret things about someone they looked up too. I really hope you are right, I myself think the DP has come and gone but that is just me. If they ever turn her loose in gen pop she won’t last long anyway. Someone will stick her for the 15 minutes. Thank you for reading Donna. It’s nice to meet you and YAY another of the clan of FUCK. Ahahahahahaha, that is funny about your boss. Thank you so much for all the love. Have a great day.

      • Mama Via says:

        A few days ago, I saw a reporter asking one of the Alexander Sisters (the one who is a police officer) questions about the “computer porn”…I don’t remember the exact question (my failing memory, dammit!) but I remember her answer…”No, we ARENT worried…” The reporter responded, then she said “Because YOU don’t know what WE know!” The prosecution is keeping the family WELL informed, nothing that the defense does bothers them much, because Martinez is a solid advocate for the entire Family. If HE knows it, THEY know it! Some folks, like me, are a little put off by Juan’s “rabies-induced-bulldog-tactics”….but…the fact if the matter is…he is taking this trial SERIOUSLY…he is acting as an advocate for the Alexander’s…and, one MUST remember, he has SEEN things associated with this trial that, thank Dog, WE will never be aware of! MOST of us have never seen a dead body, before it is “prettied up” by the funeral home…let alone a dead body that was left to decay in the shower for 5 days (I’m sorry, Miss K, if this brings ugly memories!) MARTINEZ HAS! That man is VERY involved in his cases! He has every item memorized (and I wouldn’t want to experience HIS night terrors!) and he knows every fact, theory and assumption! So, while it’s easy for us to sit back and say “chill OUT, dude!”…if WE were members of the Alexander Family, it would be difficult for me to keep my ass glued to the seat each time Juan “scores one”! (I would drag out my Pom-Poms and start “Give me a J! Give me a U.A.N!!!” )

        Do y’all remember that I write to three men who live on Death Row? I’ve read EVERYTHING to do with their cases…(oh, and YES, each of the three are “INNOCENT”, just like Hodi!) NONE of them say “I am INNOCENT because I DIDNT DO IT!” They ALL say “I’m INNOCENT because ___”…fill in the blank with the technicality you want…I received last month, a 324 page “appeal” outlining 95% of WPs trial, filled with “appeal-able” (if there is such a word) issues. I can’t BLAME the man…he has been on DR for 24 years, and Gov Scott wants to become the new “hang ’em high state”….politics! My point here….and I do have one…is that it REALLY isn’t THAT easy to get a new trial…and the Polo Mogul proves that even IF a guy DOES get a new trial, the statistical probabilities state that the SAME VERDICT will be found..,GUILTY as charged.

        ASSuming Hodi gets a new trial…different judge…same attorneys…1) she confessed to committing the act 2) they won’t have any evidence that they didn’t have before 3) “self defense” and “stabbed in the back” are incongruent. 4) the DUH-fence has “supposedly” hired the “best guns” to prove “domestic abuse”…I SINCERELY doubt any RELIABLE therapist, psychologist or “sexpert” will get involved in a second trial (I’m not saying they won’t FIND someone to say what they want, I said RELIABLE!) 5) Superior/Supreme Court judges do NOT like reversing a lower courts findings…OR over-ruling the findings of a jury! EVERY appeal I’ve read from my DR fellows has been answered (paraphrased) “yes, the judge was wrong, but the issue wouldn’t have affected the outcome if the trial…appeal denied!”

        So, there are my thoughts this morning…I’ll start writing my “guest blog” now…I should be done by the time it is needed! 😉

        So, peace the fuck out, y’all! Love ya!

      • reallybigmeandog says:

        Hai Mama: How you doing darlin’? I used to have a friend back when I was still normal who was forever and a day in trouble. I bailed him out a hundred times if I did it once, and he never did it either. Not once. *huge eye roll* I am going to assume she will get a new trial, this one is just too much of a mess to think otherwise. Seeing as it is all the sometimes judges fault with some of the most egregious rulings I have ever seen in my life, but I do agree that she will be re-convicted if it does happen.
        Now get on that guest blog woman. Peace the fuck out indeed.

  7. essem58 says:

    When the recordings are released, ah that’ll be the day, this particular trial day will be prime watching. BN says JUANA is

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Essem: Hai!! I want to have a viewing party on that day where we hold hands across the world and watch Juan destroy her like she’s Tokyo and he is Godzilla.

  8. essem58 says:

    Did not press Post! anywho, BN says Juan is slimy BUT walks over to shake the Devil’s hand? Ewwwww!!!! Pity it wasn’t a jury day coz that would have been very telling.
    Kelly wishing you the very best with your rewiring and keep your motor running.

  9. Laura hickey says:

    So so so so F. U. N. N. Y. !!

  10. karen30036 says:

    This has become my haven for sanity and reality checks. You know how people say they don.t know whether to laugh or cry … or feel like they’re beating their head into a bloody stump? That would be me, until the fabulous Kelly pulls us back down to earth.
    Mama, you’re a riot, and I do love you as you are.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Karen: I do know that saying. I choose laugh every single time, um obviously. Thank you so much Karen, it’s nice to feel needed. Have a great day.

  11. karen30036 says:

    By the way, Alfred E. looks like Hitchcock in the pixelate this pic.

  12. Tyla says:

    I think this mess is all due to nurmi wanting this trial to continue into 2015! And by the way this sometimes judge is handling this I’m positive it will. As we have all seen, nurmi will deep way under the dirtiest rock to do what he wants to get this devil POS ja off of death row ….. reason being, he will have the glory of beating Juan and have bragging rights (like Jose Baez did with Casey Anthony) to promote his law firm!!!

    Kelly again you have made me laugh, love starting my day off with some chuckles – have a great day

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Tyla: I think you might be right on all counts. I’m glad I made you laugh, you have a great day too.

  13. sandymetter says:

    LOVED IT! You’re hilarious Girl😚. Have a restful weekend.

  14. Alice Girard says:

    another great blog kelly…what i wouldn’t give to be in that courtroom watching them go at it. but no i am stuck here in michigan…..the new north pole. i didn’t like BN the first time when he came up with the bullshit story about the pic in travis’ eye. i could not believe he called mr. martinez “juan”. sexpert and the COA ruling on monday. another fun filled day in the trial that will probably still be going on when my granddaughter graduates from high school in may. hope this finds you well and thanks to rw&b for stepping in should you need that…..i am thinking we will get some insight about hospitals during your stay. i personally,at 64, have never really spent any time as a patient…had my tonsils out when i was 21 and had to stay overnight. that and having a baby were really my only 2 stays so i really know nothing about how to be a patient so i can’t give you any tips on that. well maybe just one…wear comfortable clothes…..that’s always on the surgical instructions.

    take care.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hi Alice: Did you know they just found an mountain range like the size of the Alps underneath Antarctica. I am very happy for the polar bears. Another decade and they will have condo living. Yeah I heard Michigan got hammered. We only got out normal foot or so and it’s raining today. What I can’t believe is that Juan didn’t just ring his neck like a chicken. I was even mad. Professionals do not act that way. Blue will do a great job should the need arise, but you are right I can find funny in anything anywhere. I’ve been in the hospital lots. We are like old friends that really really hate each other. Have a great day Alice.

  15. kathy says:

    Did anyone look up BN website? I cannot find any advanced forensic education for this guy. All I can read is he has a fuck load of initials on the screen that has to do with professional associations that anyone with a dollar to his name can join because hay they just want your money and don’t really to background checks to see if you are actually a psychologist? or a fraud expert? (that one is proven after yesterday) but fuck he won a Emmy, but any radio producer from any small town American can win. Really CMJA is this the best boyfriend you can find now? Samuels will be sooo sooo jealous. We can’t forget poor Tony who is probably out of a job. Hey, Juan call me, we need to talk. Tony

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Kathy: I couldn’t be bothered, but I guess I should. letters after a persons name do not impress because you are right, for the most part you can buy em. Hey Tony, email me, I’d like to chat.

  16. Pasha says:

    OMGosh!! This is HILARIOUS!! And isn’t it ironic and that Trojan is at the center of this porn on the computer debacle Trojans…viruses that is.

  17. kathy says:

    This I want to become famous expert of the new movie “Dog in the Pupil” and “How to Find 166,000 Porn Sites” on a man who was stab 28 times, throat slit , and shot in the head just inserted himself into this trial again!!! CMJA can sure find um.

  18. BlueWhiteRed says:

    Friends of this amazing blog: please know how important this slice of humor, humanity and hatred of The Process is to me, too. I am honored to be Kelly’s “Blue Team” (she likes my nautical references). I am not her, however, but I will do my very best….IF NEEDED, to step in and let her convalesce. That’s most important to me, and I suggest, you guys. I have a wicked sense of humor and, disdain of bastardations of judicial processes, and will freely speak out. I ask your patience. Please ask to guest blog. We all have stories. I’m a good editor when not using Kindle (!). Finally, thank you, Kelly for trusting me with your baby. I am the Baby Shouter. With BIA(Bro in Arms) care, BWR.

  19. Connie Rust says:

    This might be your funniest blog this week! Maybe it’s because I’m a bit handicapped tonite and laughing just plain hurts like hell. I’m too old for this shit! Got up @7:30 and took the dogs out. I noticed what seemed like a little sleet but nothing bad. It was just wet out. I had a hair appt to get ready for. About 9 I started out to the car and the second I stepped off the porch my feet went out from under me and I ended up an undignified heap on the concrete….only the concrete had a nice layer of ice on it that was not there an hour ago! After I got my wits about me I clambered to my feet (which was no easy task on a sheet of ice with nothing to grab on to) and took the few steps to the car which by that time was completely glazed over with ice. I started it up and went back in the house. I checked myself for damages while the car was de-icing and seemed no worse for wear. I headed off to the hair salon. Now here I am hours later….can barely move; my left shoulder is sore as crap as is my left wrist and hand; and I have a bruise the size of Texas on my left hip. It’s gonna be a loooong night! To add insult to injury I landed primarily on my left side which is my good side. My right hip and back r already shot so now I can’t move at all. My hair looks great though lol.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Connie: OMG I hope you are okay? I’m glad your hair is stylin’ but take care of your hip, those are no joke.

  20. Arizona Rose says:

    Thanks so much, Professor, for the lesson in the “You’re a dick! No. You’re a dick!” type of hearing…you make law so easy to understand.

    As always, another hilarious post of yours, Kelly! Thank you for so much for the laughter!

    Sending every good wish your way.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Rose: See, I knew this law school was a great idea. You are always welcome for the laughter, it makes me happy. Have a great day.

  21. geribouwman says:

    There is one thing in have to say to keep my sanity. JUAN’S GOT THIS. I never doubt this guy. He is a genious and he will clear this mess up. Kelly again you did a great job of telling it the way it really is. Too bad we can’t send it to the trial. Love ya girlie!

  22. gingerdidit says:

    Hae Kelly..! ..
    Hope you enjoyed the holidays..thought you were supposed to be resting? .. or did I have one too many Manhattans over vacation? ..one is enough..2 erase all of my short term memory..(yes..I like to use dots when i type too..it gives me time to think.

    The “art “..pffft. i AM an artist..a real, true, that’s “my shit! ” artist. I can tell you ..we don’t like “her “..or her shitty tracing..and who ever is doing her photo-shopping..and oil paintings..ha..ya. Sheriff A is sure going to permit the necessary flammable cleaners, thinners ,turpentine etc in Arias’s cell..NOT ! She CAN order a pencil sharpener tho (!?)..

    Ok..im just THAT pissed off..i started a FB page onwhich i post photos i have manipulated into works of art..im proving how easy it is to do..lol.. I crack myself up..
    Have fun ..be WELL ..ill be looking forward to your next entry..

    https://m.facebook.com/groups/311328799077743?ref=bookmark

    Ps..Wordpress told me i didnt have an account (??!!) So..i signed up again..pffft
    -Heidi

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Ginger: I did indeed enjoy my holidays. First time in my entire life I can make that statement. I went to the link you shared but it is a closed group so I couldn’t see and I would very much like too. May I join it? I hope you had a wonderful holiday as well. Have a great night.

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