I know I have said it before but; AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!-Arizona
Hai everybody. Been a minute hasn’t it? I have emailed Jim Blackburn about 6 times now and he keeps promising me as soon as he can get to it he will and I don’t want to keep bugging him so I guess we will wait on the Jeffrey(the hippies did it)McDonald story.
Sorry about last night, windstorm was crazy and I had no power for just about ever. I did get the generator out long enough to leave a post here but I don’t know if everybody saw it. So, yeah no power, no blog. The only downside to living in the middle of buttfuck nowhere is you are hooped when stuff like that happens. Oh and just as an aside, generators are heavy as fuck.
I have a question for all y’all in the states? WTF are they putting in your water and shit? Holy. I did not have the internet last night because we had a huge wind storm and it knocked the power out. I get up this morning and Ferguson is on fire. Jesus Christ people. You know what? I get that people are angry, and frustrated, and probably filled with rage. What I don’t get; trashing stores that are owned by members of the community, lighting cop cars on fire that y’all get to pay for out of your tax money, and fighting against people that have BULLETS and shit. I watched for about 2 minutes and turned it off. What does this accomplish exactly? It is not going to bring that boy back and it sure as shit isn’t going to make the police less likely to shoot the next one and that whether or not you like it is just a fact. And for all us white folks out there. I think it’s nice and all you are showing solidarity, I truly do. But damn, don’t pretend like you understand what is going through your African American friends/neighbors/spouses soul, because unless somebody owned a member of your family and once that was over you were treated like you were livestock you just don’t. No matter how much you sympathize, you cannot, will not, EVER, understand the rage. It is like being non-Jewish and saying you understand what the Holocaust survivors went through. It is a patently ridiculous statement.
So Stabby. We started the day waiting for sometimes Judge Stephens and watching Nurmi google Alfred E. Nurmi and his reaction to what popped up. Either that or surfing twitter to check on those damn Jurors who might be using social media.
Sometimes Judge Stephens eventually showed up, Great Nana Dr. Sexpert was back on the stand and Juan, well Juan was about as mad as he has ever been. Three darts, and a half a box of good boy treats later, he was almost calm enough to get up and start cross examining. Almost.
He leaped up with a snarl and went immediately for Dr. Sexperts Jugular area. He started by asking about sexual practices and Stabby shaving the gaping opening to hell. He wanted to know if the fact that she went bald as a cue-ball was important to her? Great Nana Dr. Sexpert, who you will totally see before this is over has no bias what so ever (OMGLOLROFLMAO) said yes. Juan was on fucking fire. He wanted to know if what she was saying was that Stabby baring the curtains had to do with Travis. Great Nana Dr. Sexpert definitely seemed to be insinuating that but when confronted with the question head on said she didn’t know how Stabby groomed herself (BRB gotta find the Pretoria puke bucket) prior to this. Juan was determined to run this “expert” to ground today. Why didn’t you ask if she did this before? Are u saying this practice is so unique to Stabby and Travis that this was worth considering? She said that that wasn’t what she was saying but it totally was. The pitbull asked her if she did consider this though and she had to answer yes. Holy shit getting a straight answer out of this chick is like getting a bong out of Jenny From the Cell Blocks hands. FUCK!! And with that we were welcomed to sidebar number one of the day. Nurms is NOT amused.
Back from the sidebar, Great Nana Dr. Sexpert threw on her tri-focals and started to read a document while bitching about having to read said document, say it with me now, CONTEMPERANEOUSLY. She felt pressure to read the entire document to which I say, um aren’t things like the oh, I don’t know, DETAILS of the document kind of important? The pit bull said he was just trying to refresh her memory which I though was genius because it intimated that Great Nana Dr. Sexpert may have a memory problem. Hint, she doesn’t she just never read the fucking file unless the paragraph started “Stabby Said.” She went over the document and Juan said it was Matt that wanted to break up with Stabby and moved to get away from her. Great Nana isn’t having anyone dissing her Stabby and says she understood it that Matt cheated and they broke up. Juan then wanted to know if it maybe wasn’t just a little aggressive of Stabby to drive to confront Bianca, the chick that Matt was banging by this time. Dr. Sexpert actually kept a straight face while she said “nope, nuh uh, this is how every normal person acts.” Juan then said Stabby wasn’t suffering in silence at that time, was she? Great Nana Dr. Sexpert says this was a different relationship than Travis, which doesn’t really answer the question. Just sayin. She says she suffered in silence only with Travis. The pitbull was still on full roar and dart number 4 was deployed. The sarcasm dripping from his fangs he said “So you’re saying this suffering in silence skipped over Bobby, skipped over Matt, skipped over Darryl & landed right on Travis? Dr. Sexpert says she wouldn’t use the term skip over. (If she gets Juan to define something, I’m out!) Juan gave the expert a refresher course on the trials and tribulations of Stabby and her live ex-boyfriends aaaaaaaand sidebar number 2. We came back and the pitbull asked if she was refreshed as to the break ups. She said it described them but she doesn’t recall. Juan gently tells Great Nana Dr. Sexpert that she testified to specifics and she said “I don’t recall.” Juan got that quizzical look that all great dogs get when they are trying to figure something out and gently reminded her that she said it involved the computer. She said “I don’t recall.” Juan suddenly knew what was happening. That damn fog had rolled back in. He tested his theory. Isn’t it true Darryl tried to break up with Stabby and she’d have none of that? She said “I don’t recall he’d have none of it.” I’m starting to wonder if Great Nana Dr. Sexpert has dementia setting in. Either that or she watched all six seasons of OZ as a refresher course on how to testify. (HBO show from the late 90’s-early 2000’s. Google it.) Dr. Sexpert also could not recall when Stabby and Travis started to date, or her moving to seaside.
Juan got bored and moved on to more suffering in silence. He wanted to know if Stabby was suffering in silence when she went through Travis’ phone. Dr. Sexpert said no, that the suffering in silence came after. (BARF!) Someone remind me to send Mi’lady a Christmas card for sending me the puke bucket. Juan said that even when Stabby suspected that he was seeing other women she stayed in the relationship because she wanted to go on trips. Dr. Sexpert says that she kept that information to herself for a while. He brought up the balloon festival trip and Nurms suddenly woke the fuck up and brought up sidebar number 3.
And we were back and then back to the sidebar for number 4. Back again and Juan brought up the fact that they only dated for several months. Juan says that within two weeks of the break-up she moved from California to Arizona and the totally not biased at all Dr. Sexpert said “well, it’s not like they lived in the same ward or community.” Jesus if MY eyes rolled any harder they would be bouncing jauntily across the fucking room. The pitbull asks if that is pretty assertive? Dr. Sexpert counters that they had an ongoing sexual relationship. Well that isn’t suffering in silence is it? the pitbull roared.
Juan asked about Stabby playing peek a boo while Travis was making out with a woman. The still TOTALLY objective Dr. Sexpert said “well, she needed her social security card to which I say, What?” Juan asked the good ole’ Dr. Sexpert if peeping in someones windows is suffering in silence? Anyone see a theme here? Juan asked, “she won’t leave him alone will she?” Dr. Sexpert at least conceded that maybe Stabby was a little intrusive.
There was a 15 minute break and next we got to talked about being closeted and nope it’s not what you think. Apparently, the relationship that no longer existed and was just banging because like I have said a billion times, if some chick is throwing it around the guy is going to grab it, was “closeted.” It was closeted because Travis didn’t take out a half page add in the local paper that he was butt banging Stabby. when it was brought up that Stabby wasn’t running around telling the whole world she was banging Travis that was apparently different somehow because why the fuck not.
Stabby was looking kind of forlorn after lunch, but not Juan. Juan was looking…like the tranquilizer was wearing off. You are required to be informed and objective when you review materials but in this case you haven’t been objective, RIGHT? Dr. Sexpert said she used data points to keep it objective.
Next up was a chat log between Stabby and Travis which Great Nana Dr. Sexpert called a five hour rant. It was 2hrs and 10sec and Juan was all over her like she was a porterhouse steak. “You wanted to make this seem like Travis was out of control didn’t you?” snarled the mighty pitbull. “You were wrong on the time weren’t you? You went ahead and made a wrong statement to the jury.” Juan was in full attack mode now and Flores calmly put the attack suit on just in case he had to pole catch the ranting pit. 5 hours sure seems more impactful doesn’t it? He roared. And you also said the chat log was 16 pages when it was only twelve. You are supposed to be accurate right? Great Nana Dr. Sexpert said yes but the chat was formatted where it could be 16 pages to which once again I say WHAT? It is 12 pages or it is 16. It cannot be both.
We moved on to Dan Freeman and his sister and the trip they all took together. Juan said Travis wasn’t hiding her from his friends right? They went on trips together and when they got in an argument and Travis said something Stabby came right back didn’t she? That is not suffering in silence RIGHT? Juan then pointed out that Great Nana Dr. Sexpert said she had made an assessment of Travis to which she said no, it was more of an observation. The pitbull of course refused to back the fuck up and said “you made an assessment, a diagnosis out of this. Just what you said you aren’t doing right?” Next we got to define Assessment and I was about to quit this bitch like I said, but Juan was done and I figured I might as well see how much Nurmi did damage control for a bit. During that time we got another run down of Dr. Sexperts CV, the fact that sex sells and we shouldn’t be distracted and that she felt the state was insinuating that she was unethical and they mischaracterized her testimony. HINT No he didn’t. He didn’t insinuate a damn thing. He made it crystal fucking clear that is what he thought.
We are now recessed until December 2 2014. #giftfrombabyjesus
There you have it my lovelies you are now up to date on the never ending trial. RBMD peacing the fuck out!!
Hai! If you enjoy my blog, please consider donating to ensure content. All donations are greatly appreciated.