Doing LWOP 3 – Ho, Ho, Hmmmm…..
Hi everyone, Associate Professor of Real Life for Felons, BWR here. I don’t know if I will type this correctly, adeieiwhslsiw, because I’m still cracking up over Kelly’s Lowered Expectations. OMG, each post is funnier than the last! Brava, Queen of Meanville!
Thanks, as always for reading, and Kelly, for letting me share the air space with you. I was going to jump right in and talk to you about “shopping” at the (Name) State Prison, but got the mail first. In it was a $1,000 USD check from some loan company. It’s all MINE, “just in time for holiday shopping!” At 33% APR interest. Ho, Ho, Hmmmm.
How Inmates Get Da Money — Until about last year, Susan only could receive money in her commissary account from people (12 or 15, I can’t remember) on her approved visiting list. That way the prison could ensure she wasn’t being funded by a released felon (unless they’re related, rolled eyes), or ISIS, I guess. Anyway, that changed and now anyone with the exception of above can put money in her account. A 3rd party (there seems to be quite the capitalism via the State Prison system, no comment from me, other than ALWAYS a fee.) has a website. It doesn’t cover every single state, but many. You establish a username and password, then her state, then prison, then number. Once done, you can either set up regular payments via credit/debit card or a one-time deposit. She gets a receipt when the COs deliver such documents (and feel like it) so she knows her balance. It also states the sender’s name from the credit/debit card, so no anonymous donations. You can also download a Prison-specific form, fill it out and put a money order in. Then send via snail mail to the Department of Corrections, located at the state capitol. When the COs get the money order receipt, (and feel like it) they hand to her. I’m not “debasing” the COs, just providing Susan’s feedback on the couple of times I’ve sent money.
So, what can a prisoner buy? (I’ll cover what she can receive another time.) They must buy everything not provided at reception (the absolute basics, scrubs (color specific like on an aircraft carrier, only in her case, they’re yellow for being Level 4 security status. (Only Death Row and newly admitted capital LWOP prisoners are Level 5 and wear red.) She’ll never wear another color again, because LWOP is always LWOP.) (Sorry for all the ()s, by the way.), bras (2), underwear/socks, toiletries, a jacket, hat and gloves. If she were indigent, they would be provided for free. She buys all replacements and a variety of items from the commissary. I looked up the order form and thought you’d be interested to see the variety my former state tax dollars helped subsidize, and cost to her. (each price does not include the usual too-high State Sales Tax):
*(For Kelly) Poptarts (Choc. Chip or Cookies & Crème) ( box) $3.18
*Donuts, Powdered (up to 5) $2.60 each
*(For Stabby) Sketch Pad (up to 5) $.69 each (bargain?!)
*Stool Softener (1) $3.90
*(For PV) Dreamsickle Cookies (Kosher, up to 5) $1.16
*Love You Card (up to 5) $1.15
*Mascara (up to 2 and wonder if AZ allows?!) $1.42
I know there are things like CDs and players, small TVs (there are no “public” ones), and DS game players/cartridges but I couldn’t find that list. I do know they are marked up 40% from outside retail. So maybe they increase their profit margin by under-pricing the Love You cards and overpricing the “toys”.
They are not allowed to trade, buy for someone else and of course, no refunds. The no trade/buy for someone else rules are to keep things like loan sharking and Power Differences (thanks, ALV for that phrase), etc., happening. They can buy 8 items per order. She can send things like the cards out. All envelopes are pre-stamped directly to the envelope to prevent contraband from being placed underneath. I guess no hair samples for DNA testing are sent out that way.
I hope you find this information interesting and wonder how much holiday shopping Susan will do for herself or send out (limited). Ho, Ho, Hmm…..
PS. There’s no one wearing a blue vest selling gas cans at the State Prison.
Hai. Please donate to the I don’t want to freeze to death fund. As an extra bonus you get to piss off PV and her buddy Joe. All donations that help me not freeze to death are greatly appreciated.