The Stabby Einstein Penalty Phase Retrial- Garbage In Garbage Out Edition (thank you Jeffrey Gold)


If I lose this post again I’m just not fucking posting it- Arizona

Hai everybody. So, I just wrote and lost this blog. TWICE. We are having brown outs and for whatever reason my computer is not saving anygoddamnthing at the moment. I am not amused. But, I am dedicated if nothing else so I will try this one more time.

I have to give Nurmi some credit because he has pulled off a brilliant tactical move. He won’t say whether Stabby will or won’t continue to testify until he hears from the COA so Juan can’t make a motion to have her testimony stricken if she decides not to testify. And he did it just before he brought out the defenses next idiot for Hire Dr. Gefner. Otherwise known as the human ventriloquist dummy. Dr. Geffner of water spilling fame from the first trial. So whatever she said is still in the Jury’s minds, can’t be stricken and now we have some paid doofus to further pound whatever it was into their heads.

Jenny From the Cell Block is up on Direct and we are once again going through the entire life and times of Dr. Geffner. For those of you who missed the first time around, this is what happened: Harpo, who dis man is, Arizona

If foghorn Leghorn and General Custer had a kid, it would be the dude on the let’s try and make all these nice people think these are not the droids they are looking for sur-rebuttal train. Aerosmith was present for a scathing rendition of “Train Kept Rollin’ which had the entire gallery on its feet. The vet waited patiently as Conductor Stephens kept the minions shoveling coal and the train picked up speed. Jenny from the Cell Block took a stab (yes, I said it and it stays) at something new today. Boring the jury into submission just so they could get the hell out of there. We spent an entire day talking about the Foghorn leghorn Jedi Masters credentials. Where he went to school, how long he went to school, who he banged at school, how many bong hits he took at school, his favorite cafeteria food at school. The fact that he NEVER talked about Stabby, or read a police report only came up when he stared straight into the gallery and did that Jedi thing with his hands and said “None of those facts are relevant” The only time we were actually sure he was alive was when he got onto the subject of Janeen DeMarte and her Diagnosis of BPD. With a totally straight face he told Jenny from the cell block that he’s right, Janeen is wrong neener neener. It was a breathtaking display of testimony.

Alfred E. Nurmi spent a good deal of the day looking like he paid the vet to shoot a dart into his ass and Stabby stared at the jury like the death eater that she secretly is. All we need now is he who shall not be named, Harry Potter and a wand dual and the circle of life will be complete.

Jenny from the Cell Block is going to lose points in the beauty part of the pageant of the insane due to the ever growing bald spot on her head. Good thing she has all that poise and charm or she’d be out already.

Geffner actually managed to keep a straight face as he told the jury he determined Stabby didn’t lie or distort her answers on Dr. Demarte’s psychological tests. He also said the tests did not indicate an aggressive, hostile, or violent personality, but rather a crushed flower in the throes of PTSD. The sympathy vote missed the whole thing as she snored through the testimony.

Geffner decided court would be a great place to practice his standup routine. This expert witness with eighthundredmillion years worth of experience couldn’t operate the touch screen computer and managed to spill water all over himself, the witness stand, the floor, the vet and conductor Stephens a couple of times.

The highlight of the entire routine however was when Geffner, who has a familiarity with brains, you know like I have a familiarity with nuclear fusion, was asked to use his zero experience with autopsies to refute Medical Examiner Horne’s testimony about the gunshot coming last. The psychologist/standup comedian testified that in his inexperienced and totally untrained opinion, Travis could have turned into a zombie and totally continued to walk and stuff. Then he took another bong hit and braced while the dog handler put the attack suit on him before they turned Juan loose.

Somebody had some extra raw steak at lunch because a completely foaming at the mouth Juan fairly leapt out of his chair and charged the obviously terrified Geffner. He immediately crushed his non-existent credibility by informing the gallery that dudes testimony had been tossed as having absolutely no merit at several other trials where he’d been a witness. Mortimer Snerd just smiled and giggled in what seemed to be an attempt to keep the obviously rabid pit-bull at bay.

Juan then to the surprise of absolutely no one anywhere, proceeded to lay the smack down of all smack downs on the ventriloquist dummy sitting on the stand about Mortimers absolutely no validity, uniformed thoughts on Travis’ gunshot wound. The smell of brimstone started to permeate the air and we all wondered for a moment if Jenny would be called back from whence she came due to her stunning FAIL at ever calling this witness.

That was last time. Time has to be better right. He’s had practice now. He knows what to do. You would think that but no it was pretty much exactly the same.  Juan has already had to have two darts put into him because he got the illustrious Psychologist’s notes from the university of Malingering (thank you Stabby’s Pencil) for fun and profit at just past 11pm last night.  Geffner the human ventriloquist dummy is expected to be on the stand all week (oh goody) and Juan needs at least two days to interview him.  This time around Mortimer Snerd isn’t just going to talk about his interviews with Stabbykins he is also going to talk about every other experts interview with her which doesn’t sound quite right to me. Remind me to check on that.  He already has the Dr. Samuels I love you Stabbykins look on his face so she has obviously been communing with Satan again.  Since she doesn’t have a soul maybe she just traded him for some anal and a blowie?

Going over the MMPI2 that diagnosed her with borderline personality disorder and instead of arguing this time he is likely to agree, because agreeing means she has a mental problem and somebody on the Jury might go for that.

Stabby apparently reported lots of symptoms of trauma probably largely in part to things like killing a guy and then telling a bunch of bullshit that nobody believed and then being incarcerated. I’d be a little traumatized too.

The Jedi Master is now going over Stabby’s rather high score on Stabby being a psychopath. Bet they didn’t pay him to say that shit.  I got 5 that says that was said accidentally.  She also has major sexual issues to which the entire planet collectively said “No. Really?”

Since pretty much every time Stabby opens her mouth it is either self serving or an outright lie I would say most of what Geffner has to say is useless because if he hasn’t noticed she LIES.

He actually called the PTSD that she has from butchering a man a mitigating factor.  I shit you not he really honest to god said that.  He has however so far managed to not spill anything on himself so he is at least doing better that way.  Just as an aside the Jury isn’t taking any notes on the Psych testimony so whatever her super secret testimony was, it looks like they don’t really give a shit.

Mortimer Snerd admitted on the record that nobody knows what the fuck is going on in that psychotic little head of hers, it’s all just a guess.  ON THE RECORD.

That is it for today kids, but just think we have a whole week of this to look forward too.  Juan shredded him last time, I hope he brought the attack suit.

Have a great night. RBMD peacing the fuck out.

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61 Responses to The Stabby Einstein Penalty Phase Retrial- Garbage In Garbage Out Edition (thank you Jeffrey Gold)

  1. tammy says:

    I swear Kelly it just don’t get better than this. I had to wash my face in hot water just to stop laughing.Do you stay up all nite to write this stuff lol. I bet Jaun will make him wet his pants and spill his water when he gets a chance. So now Ol Hodi is nutz, seems like yesterday she got bent out of shape because she was borderline, that ol girl has come along way. I guess they figure if shes nutz the jury won’t put her on death row…. What will be next in this as the world turns trial? Well keep up the good work my friend, your the best!

  2. Am I the first to get to leave a reply tonight, Kelly? I have been to your site 3 times and finally got the email notification that you had your blog up for today.

    I loved that Dr, Goofus actually said, ” she scored a rather high score on Stabby being a psychopath. Bet they didn’t pay him to say that shit. I got 5 that says that was said accidentally. She also has major sexual issues to which the entire planet collectively said “No. Really?”

    Both the psychopath and her Dr. Goofus are just plain nuts! But we all know there’s no pill to give a psychopath that will make them play nice. Good heavens…she hit her own little brother with a ball bat and then when he finally managed to tell on her to the baby sitter, she so innocently said, “I don’t know why he is crying!”

    I’d seriously love to hit her in the head with a ball bat and then ask her, “Why are you crying?” I’d even like to take a ball bat to her Dr. Goofus, too, just to be honest. Lord have mercy, I think she’s turning some of us into mini-monsters, just by knowing so much about her!

    Please stay well and keep warm, Kelly. I will really miss you while you are having your surgery and recuperating!

  3. Connie Rust says:

    Hi Kelly….the ventriloquist dummy can also belch with the best of ’em. i can’t remember who to credit but somebody played that little clip from the first trial. Maybe this jury will be fortunate enough to see that public display of manners in the coming days…might actually be the highlight of the week for them. Watching paint dry must be more interesting than listening to this clown. At least we have the good fortune of reading your blog to add some interest to what must be a completely boring day of testimony. I can’t stop laughing! Thanks for that.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Connie: Oh god tell me about it. I would rather do just about anything than watch the tweetfest today and try and turn it into a workable blog. Gah. But YAY you can’t stop laughing.

  4. Erin Mahnke says:

    Harpo, who dis man is had me literally lol’ing all over the place…I am drinking coffee as well, and had to be careful it didn’t come out of my nostrils….which is bothersome, not to mention totally unattractive and gross. – Another fantastic display of writing. My only question regarding trauma concerns Stabby’s rectal and vaginal region, and the myriad of objects that have somehow made their way into one,or both, some possibly still residing within the swirling demon portal to Hades. I just wonder if and when that “trauma” will be used as a mitigating factor.

    Thank you for the genuine lulz. And I don’t think I’m alone when I proclaim my anticipation for your next entry.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Erin. So, it didn’t come out of your nose? damn no points. Jesus don’t give them any ideas although I’d pay for an xray of her pelvic region just to see what’s up there.

  5. My Real Name says:

    Yeah, I keep saying “it doesn’t get any better than this.” And then it does.

    And all week he’s on the stand? This is going to get SO good.

    Check out Stabby as she goes from this at .22, to this at .50. JW’s expression is priceless upon Gef burping.

    From last year.

  6. Ruthanne says:

    OMG! Thanks for the tweet first of all, so I could read this just before sleep.

    I wish I had been drinking something to spit out and even cough through my nose, because what I ACTUALLY WAS doing was eating a twizzler, (I do it a lot since I quit smoking AGAIN), and I inhaled some pieces, which isn’t really a good thing. I kept reading though, even as I was trying to cough them up. I got some up but I think I still have a few remaining in the windpipe that are being stubborn, so I’m hoping for the best, like that laying down will be safe and I won’t somehow stop breathing, (fortunately I chew well, so the pieces are pretty small). TMI probably but, I felt like sharing, that doesn’t happen often with me.

    Thanks also for the reminder of Geffner’s stint on the stand last time, I remembered some but not much. I look forward to your blog everyday, as much as I look forward to Juan’s turn at bat. I can’t wait for tomorrow, night that is, not the day time trial crap, that’s boring with Gaffer up there, and usually manages to piss me off.

    Thanks again! Have a great night!

    • Deb says:

      Ruthanne, that first paragraph gave me a visual that I won’t forget any time soon! Thanks 😉

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Ruthanne: You realize I get bonus point for actual food items right. I’m keeping score, Oh tomorrow now today. I’m not because Juan won’t get anywhere near him tomorrow now today and it’s just going to be more of the same droning on and on and on bullshit. *barf*

      • Ruthanne says:

        And again tomorrow… sadly more Geffner (my laptop hates his name, if I don’t watch it corrects it to Gaffer, so annoying), but I will go watch Charlie Brown, on ABC right now and take my mind off all of this for a bit.. Since I have the tree, I have to watch this year. 🙂 Back after, in time for a blog maybe?

  7. Marie Garcia says:

    Thank you for being one of the few to note the psychopath comment from her OWN witness!! I thought that one would be breaking news everywhere…we all know she is one…but because the high psychopath score was confirmed by her own man!!!Only one person in the courtroom even picked up on it probably because of the boring stuff all day and Wilma purposely choked it in there with barely a breath.
    This is BIG!! A psychopath is what horror movies are made of!! Nobody would ever let them out I dont care if it falls in the mitigating pile of stuff all day!! A frickin’ psychopath makes a sociopath look like a bunny!! Sociopaths just hurt someone because they have empathy, who cares….a Psychopath literally enjoys hurting pleasures them…that is Stabby!!. No cure fo psychopathy. You cant do yoga, have a chat and a xanax to fix it….it is in her DNA.
    They slid that in there without hardly anyone noticing like she does the unlined paper in her pants for her tracings..
    THAT particular test is one of the few that is accepted as legit in most courts….those later ones are not. It is hard to trick it. Guess they thought it would look like they werent hiding it before the prosecution witness screams it from the rooftop!

    I love the way you write…you crack me up! Dont mean to change the mood from humor to scary movie but when the character is nicknamed Stabby……….

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Marie. I know, found it kind of weird that only a couple of people found it tweet worthy. That is a big fucking deal. Thanks for reading. Have a great day.

      • BlueWhiteRed says:

        I thought that was the big reason they gave Juan the notes….at 11pm! Like the guy’s antenna goes to sleep….NOT!

  8. Hi Kelly!
    So sorry that happened to you! So frustrating! I do most of my writing at night and have lost my work more times than I care to remember. I guess I start to speak in tongues and curse a bit, because I usually hear my hubby screaming..”For the love of God, if you’re going to watch ‘The Exorcist,’ THIS late at night, turn the volume DOWN!” As IF? , Who would watch THAT movie, after midnight, by themselves? Thanks for interpreting the days events so brilliantly!! I miss Wilma’s bald spot, TOO!! I busted my ass to get everything out of the way, today, so I could watch tweets, only to see Tommee Tippee on the stand. So I guess after a year of practice, he managed to NOT spill, WHATEVER he’s drinking, even when someone decided to throw some ice into the pitcher, as an added challenge. I WAS impressed. Sorry, I just HAVE to get this OUT: “Hey Geffner! WWI called and it wants it’s mustache BACK!!” I agree, he appeared to let quite a few terms slip out, like psychopath, narcissistic and red flags. The one that concerned ME, was his use of the word, “dissociation,” followed by, “as a coping mechanism.” Allow me to ‘splain. Depending where he decides to put her on the spectrum, this could mean anything from a person who daydreams to what we used to know as “multiple personality disorder.” Is THAT the reason for all this “secret testimony?” Did they prep her, watching the,”Three Faces of Eve,” and “Sybil?” Both the Sally Fields and the Tammy Blanchard, versions? Did Stabby get up on the stand and try out a new SKIT? I would pay good money to see THAT! I remember NOTHING from Tommee’s testimony last time, except that he spilled his, “water,” three times. Maybe he only did that, during his cross examination, by Martinez. When someone mops the floor with you, a little fluid,” makes that process a lot easier.

  9. hbbeachbun says:

    Another masterpiece Kelly. Can’t wait to read what’s next. Stay warm and take care.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai HB. YAY. I’m doing my best my friend. Not terribly cold outside today so it’s not so bad.

  10. Adele says:

    Morning sunshine..🌞 Oh my, could there be anything more frustrating then losing all that work…twice.?
    Thanks for bringing Mr. Spillit and all his nonsense back to life for us. Ickyyuckycreepyliar.
    Just another day, with another great blog.
    Hope you’re feeling not too badly.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Adele. Nope I’m feeling pretty good today. He looks like somebody that you feel like you need an adult around doesn’t he?

  11. Jodie Finney says:

    I love love love your blog. I look forward to reading it every time! you never disappoint.

  12. Mama Via says:

    Everyone is getting to be so fukkin funny!! But the bad side of that is that I have PTSD due to my insecurities which made me bang my head on the wall which caused me to remember that my ugly stepmother hit me on the head with her shoe (which needed ODOR-EATERS) and then that caused me to run outside and push little duckies into the water…but nothing is my fault because Dr. Simple Simon said she sells sea shells by the sea shore on a seesaw! Oh, I just LOVE morphine! It keeps my nose from hurting as badly when I laugh coffee with cream thru my sinuses! And, as a note to you young whippersnappers who might be wondering if there is sex after 60, the answer is no! The only way he can get it up is by taping a Popsicle stick to it…and if you take morphine, you don’t give a fukk..or get one either! Sadly, you can’t tell your pal, morphine, to only kill the sensation of pain in your back…it also kills the sensation of pleasure in your front…and I barely care if those little duckies are taunting me at waters edge, just axing to be pushed inta the wadder agin!

    Now that my coffee with cream is kickin in…I been thinkin…oh, damm! I lost my train of thought…oh, wait, there it is! ASSuming that the All Holes Wonder WAS the sekret witless…I was thinkin that as EXPLICIT as she is about her holes of wonderous proportions, in just ONE DAY, she probably didn’t get much further down the road of her love life than the first 20-30 times she axed someone she didn’t know for ax-sex…or swallowed “precious bodily fluids”…Numbnutz HAD to “build a foundation”…and we all knows that with all his “errrrr”s and “emmmmm”s, he ain’t no rapid fire shooter with them questions like Don Juan is! And…if she started with them pitchers she’s got of “Hodi at DisneyLand”, “Hodi at Knotts Berry Farm”, “Hodi at LegoLand”….it’d be a purty long time gettin to “Hodi at DildoLand” and “Hodi at ButPlugWorld”…so I ain’t thinkin she did too much mitigatin up there on the stand…a corse, I could be wrong…she coulda showed them her “new Brazilian” that the girlz on the cell block plucked for her….(eeeuuuwwwww!)
    I’ll leave you with that there thought…whilst I go find another pill and then contemplate my naval and wonder how long an old lady can live without …..(eeeeeeuuuuuuwwwwww!!!). Love y’all!

    • renaes24 says:

      Mama! Rarely do I disagree with you…but….sex after 60 is GREAT! Ya just have to be able to laugh like hell about the ungodly ridiculousness of it all……this hurts/that aches/ oh! there’s a leak over there…….AND be willing to pay for it in the morning! (gee! never had THAT muscle hurt before!). Hubby now says he ‘can’t wait’ for me to become TOTALLY incontinent…..(how romantic), but that’s the way we roll……lots of giggles!

    • Deb says:

      Mama, I absolutely love your sense of humor!! It makes me feel so ‘normal’ the way you explain things 🙂

      • Mama Via says:

        Ranae—I tried…I really tried…but my “1960’s free love” muscles musta gone with my ability to not wet myself (it USED to be JUST when I sneezed, laughed or coughed..NOW I’m thinking of buying Depends stock) and my ability not to pass gas (which Gramma said wasn’t good to keep inside cuz it could either make you crazy or eventually make your head explode…she didn’t tell me that when you get old, one wrong move, and PHHFFFTTTT!! SO LADYlike!) by the way, just to EDIFY y’all…”the vapors” y’all see in movies about the South DONT mean you are fixin to faint! It’s the Victorian phrase to “EVACUATE THE ROOM–I had me beans for supper!” ALTHOUGH…I’m SO proud if myself…I was iniated into Eastern Star on Friday nite, and not ONCE (or even twice) get “the vapors” OR wet myself! ALTHOUGH…I did have me one of the WORSTEST HOT FLASH I’ve ever had since 2001, in SPITE of my new prescription of estrogen! And my back commenced to achin SOS I could barely stand up…but…all that matters was I learned the “sekret handshake”–REMARKABLY similar to what FOOTBALL players do when they score a BASKET! (Sic) They axed me to memorize sompin…and I’m thinking that won’t happens…cuz, I signed a check with my ex-ex-ex-husbands last name just a few days ago…(I reckon that means he was cussin on me AGAIN!) iffn I can’t even remember my name, how’em I gonna remember a paragraph and recite it?

        Deb-you are a sweetheart! I’m glad that I make sense to someone!

        I feel a “rant” coming on…..

        Well…the update on Soup and Salad in the Continuing Saga of As The Stomach Turns…Salad, after spending 60 days in the pokey cuz no one would beg, borrow or steal the $500 bail money, got out and was sentenced to “anger management” and 5 years probation and mandatory drug tests…he scored some pot in front if the jail, and then hopped the local Greyhound Bus for “parts unknown”…(i LOVE stupid criminals!) he then posted on Facebook that he was at his sisters home in Tennessee…(Ass!). Soup…called mama to drive 1100 miles to “come get her”…(so that child welfare wouldn’t be making HER take drug tests! Or, take that poor child from her!) She told her husband (my son, and NOT the father of that poor ugly baby, bless his heart!) via TEXT message that she “STOLE his phone because he (at one time) promised to buy her one”. (She NEVER says anything to your face, sweet as pie–but VILE in text messages!) The next day, she texted him to say she “had to come to town” in mid-Decenber and would “be staying with him” so he could “watch her baby”!! Son never answered her…next day, “for his own good” she told him what a “MEAN, WICKED, VILE C-NT” his mother (me) is…and that I would “be condemned to HELL for eternity”…the NEXT day…she texted AGAIN..wanting to BORROW $120 “until she got a job”…(The last job she had was a “under the table” job, accepting money at a parking lot! AND, Son said to me, that $120 is the price for an ounce of pot where she lives!). When he didn’t answer AGAIN…she sent another text telling him to “get the money from your mom, she LOVES me! And get enough to pay to wire the whole $120!” I don’t THINK SO! (There are no western union offices in hell!)

        Now, I WILL confess my wickedness to YOU….I WAS OVER AT son’s house…and I saw a postcard on the table from the State on the table. Thinking Son might have a problem (ok, I was a nosy mom, so what!?) I read the postcard…to keep her welfare and food stamps, Soup HAD to meet with an employee at the welfare office….the appointment was…(have you guessed it?)..December 15th! (When she was going to come stay with Son!). Me, being a “MEAN, WICKED, VILE C-NT”, filed a report on the welfare fraud site, reporting that Soup had moved to Abalama back a few months ago, and no longer lived in the state of Florida, so they needed to cancel her appointment with the Welfare Worker…and, that if Social Services wanted to help the baby, he was now living with his grandmother…and I gave the address.

        I told Son that if I am accused of being a M,W,V C-NT, I certainly have the huevitas to fullfill my obligation to the MWVC Club! AND, that since Soup owes me more than $2500 in “loans”, I have every right to “collect”…it doesn’t matter that I’m not PERSONALLY receiving the money…I’m quite happy that the taxpayers of the state I live in are not ripped off for MORE welfare monies and are possibly repaid the welfare monies she accepted illegally. If that makes me mean, vile and wicked, I accept it willingly! I am sick and tired of watching the “entitled” sit on their ass, smoking dope and hitting defenseless 4 month old children! Maybe if someone had had the huevitas to report MY parents for abuse…MY life would have been different!

      • reallybigmeandog says:

        Mama: OMGLOLROFLMAO…I can’t breathe mama I’m dyyyyyyyyyying. OMG I love you so much.

      • Mama Via says:

        Well, at least I’m giving as good as I get! You make me laugh so hard sometimes I get the sofa all wet…tears running down my thighs! I’m glad to make YOU laugh!! I’m fixin to write a “fill in the blank blog” and send it to you so’s you got an extra when all the Deans are in the teachers lounge smokin…or whatever goes on in the teachers lounge…

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Ahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaaha Mama you have to stop, lack of oxygen, can’t breathe. What would gramma say? I’m crying I swear to god from laughing so hard.

      • Mama Via says:

        Isn’t little Stabbykins doing her research? I have PTSD from killing Travis is like the Menendez Brothers asking for leniency because they are orphans!

        Oh, how I wish I could ask gramma!! But I’m not sure how I’d explain to her that Stabbykins was a 3 hole wonder…after all, if a feller wants to put his peeder any where’s else….well, I’ll just say that with all them boys at home, we never did have any sheep!
        (Like Texas, where the men are men, and sheep are scared!)

  13. renaes24 says:

    Oh Kelly, How do you do it? Somehow you make hours of YOSEMITE SAM sound fascinating! After reading all the tweets of his BS on the stand, I am STILL confused as to how one could have PTSD from an event that one cannot recall (the fog). It is a mystery. In the convent, they said that mysteries require faith…….well, I think in Arizona, there must be a sign over the courtroom door that reads:
    “Abandon all hope, all ye who enter ” because this trial (and these witnesses) are the seventh circle of hell! (Personally, I think that ‘abandon hope’ shit should be TATTOOED over both her front and back ‘portals’).
    Poor little Stabby……hopefully she will spend all the rest of her days ALONE, reciting to herself (over and over) the poem that begins:
    “Aboard the good ship Venus/Ah Christ! ya should ha seen us……”
    (Just seems like her style of ‘art’)

  14. Deb says:

    Kelly, you never disappoint with your wit and humor. You’re like a fine wine that only gets better with time – and, like a fine wine, you enable me to de-stress and laugh about all the things in the world I can’t change! (My boyfriend says I’m a control freak, but in a good way.)

  15. bobbie thompson says:

    That was EXACTLY what I said when they said JA had sexual problems. With the exact tone you used LOL! Like I’ve said before, when I’m reading your blog your passion comes OUT of the page. I’ve never heard your voice but I can hear it in certain phrases and paragraphs you have written. AWESOME job. I was wondering what in the HELL were you going to write about as the testimony was soooooooo dry. But you found the giggles I needed.

    And this paragraph:He actually called the PTSD that she has from butchering a man a mitigating factor. I shit you not he really honest to god said that. He has however so far managed to not spill anything on himself so he is at least doing better that way.

    (I had forgotten he spilled his water on himself last time), I shit you not either LOL! I hope like hell she’s suffering after slaughtering Travis. But I don’t think she cares as proven by her test results.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Nope Psychopaths don’t care about shit. The are however chameleons.

      • renaes24 says:

        Well, start playin the Boy George/Culture Club song: Karma chameleon……and remember: in a few years she can hope her hot flashes change as often as her alibi’s! = True Karma!

  16. KC Sahoe says:

    Ya know I think Dr. Loon should spice it up some this time around, maybe ripping a loud wet one? I mean seriously the duhfense could not find any decent “professional” to testify so they use the same lame old geezers that apparently is past their expiration date? Oh please, this old dude was putting the jury to sleep, we need JUANderful to just yell out every few minutes so the jury wakes up thinking ok now we have court in session.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Juan gonna be serving steak tartar with this one. He completely annihilated this guy last time, I can’t believe he came back. Maybe they told him Juan died or quit or something

  17. BlueWhiteRed says:

    I certainly don’t think I can “up” anybody today in the comedy dept….but let me try:
    -Hey, Geff, your “beard” (ALV) called. Pick up another man-repellant in PHX. (The hideous neon blue “power difference” jacket!)
    -Hey, Wilma-1988 called. They’re doing a remake of “Heathers”
    -Hey,Geff-here’s a quarter. Go downtown and get a rat to gnaw that MOLE off your chin!
    -Hey, Nurmi-she tested high in PSYCOPATH. See also: you’re next!
    Hey, Juan- I’ll buy you a year of Good Boy! treats if you do this: May I approach the witness? (You may) then go right up, look at Geff, turn to walk away, then turn back fast, BOO!
    THAT, ladies, will cause a spill!
    (Greatest post, Kels!)

    • Mama Via says:

      Well, BWR…it’s only because as a fellow, you aren’t incontinent or get “the vapors”…that seems to be just us girls…and, sadly, even tho you probably have a good story about Mrs BWR having the vapors, it would be bad form to talk about it with high klass broads like us! (“well, I DE-clair! I NEVAH heard nuttin lack that before! May-belle, bring me the smellin salts!”) But…we love you any how’s!

  18. Mama Via says:

    Oh, good lord….someone, whose nine I have INCONVENIENTly forgotten, is pooping on Uncle Jeff’s parade today…the TRUTHS as she sees it is this item:
    Jeff Gold posted:
    @jeffgoldesq · Dec 11
    @Momma_to_6 I have represented many defs in child porn cases. The state needs to prove the image was possessed, not just the link to it.
    She posted as a snide little answer….
    ~~~Gold is missing the point, per usual. He’s got porn on his mind, and thinks this issue is about the porn….it’s about the lies.

    REALLY? It’s about the LIES??? Shall we start with listing all the lies little Stabbykins told?? GOLD is speaking about the LAW as a LAWYER…whoever this little twisted sister Stabbiyite is…has got porn on the brain…Gramma says, whenever you point a finger, three more are pointing at you! amazing that someone is so deranged can conclude that GOLD has porn on his brain!

    I say we start a collection for either some therapy for this misguided twat, or a free membership to Lowered Expectations dating so this little doozy can get laid! I’m sure she believes Stabby will be home by Christmas, too!

    • renaes24 says:

      Now Mama, You have to understand: Spawned x6 is a ‘Newfie” and we cut them some slack. I find it amazing that she even writes in real English! (I will leave it to our Dean here to explain Newfies’ better that I ever could.) Just know that Mr BlueWhiteRed could get her a Section 8 with NO problems! As far as therapy in Newfoundland, I think a few bottles of rotgut is the norm.

      • Mama Via says:

        Gee, I somehow missed NEWFIE…but, for all intensive (sic) purposes, she’s definitely a Section 8…hopefully, she’s not breeding…the would can only handle so many of them at one time…and everyone knows “baby crabs walk like mama crabs”!

      • BlueWhiteRed says:

        I have counterparts in NF. Section 8, NO PROB!

  19. Deb says:

    After reading all the posts I missed earlier today, and laughing my socks off…I realize why I come back 2-3 x’s a day to see what I missed. You guys are so damn funny & make my day! I love you all ❤

  20. BlueWhiteRed says:

    Back at cha, Deb. This craziness is my sanity!

Varmt News Network

It's the Internet.


Just another site

Asleep in Left Field-My Life

4 out of 5 Friends recommend this site

Out in left field

(Totally fictional) Drama Queen Stories


sometimes, there are monsters walking amongst us

Varmt News Network

It's the Internet.


Just another site

Asleep in Left Field-My Life

4 out of 5 Friends recommend this site

Out in left field

(Totally fictional) Drama Queen Stories


sometimes, there are monsters walking amongst us

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