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The Stabby Arias Penalty Phase Retrial – The Dr. Geffner is an Asshat Edition

Hai Kids.  You know, it’s nice to be nice once in a while and try and stretch out an olive branch and all that happy peace on earth good will towards men stuff.  I do however feel rather remiss as your law professor/Dean of fuckery/Queen of Mean/ possible supreme ruler of the universe.  You will have to forgive me.  It is a lot of hats that I wear and I get them all confused sometimes.  You know, like how some people get confused that they are still 21 and gorgeous.  Like that.  Now, my palace is just a run down old farm house in the middle of nowhere and I don’t pretend that it isn’t.  I owe back taxes on it but you know what?  When I was still normal I worked hard, I bought it at the age of 19 all by myself and I paid it off all by myself.   It’s old, and it need a makeover badly, but the dogs and cat at least keep it from becoming a rat haven so there is that.  I do have a complete law library (my lawyer is constantly shipping me cartons of law books) in hopes that even now I might somehow be able to fulfill what he considers to be my destiny.  I also study science so I can be all Einstein-y and shit, and I bet I can write an amicus brief better than Jenny from the Cell Block.  When I am not busy doing that I have taken up a new hobby.  I am now making tinfoil hats to send to each and every one of the stabby/mormonmafia/skateboardninjafrapuccinogang/juan Martinez is a bad man because he wins/ conspiracy theorists.  We can read their thoughts because planetary alignment or radio waves or because I have a contract of indentured servitude with my in house psychic who the fuck knows.

Here in  a nutshell is what I know.  I will type slowly in hopes that the fucktards that still think stabby is going to magically be freed in the next 8 days might get it.

1. Stabby, your patron saint of debauchery(look it up stabbyites I don’t have time to spoon feed you this) has been CONVICTED OF FIRST DEGREE PREMEDITATED MURDER.

2.Stabby is eligible for the death penalty. Now nurms can write motions till he gets carpal tunnel syndrome and that is NOT going to change the fact that she is DP eligible. And if you think that you aren’t starting to piss off the jury with all these stall tactics then you sir are an idiot.

3.Stabby is a fucking liar. How do we know? Her mouth is moving. I bet she lies about what she has for breakfast. We certainly know she lies about being starved to death by good ole sheriff Joe. How’s that lawsuit coming Stabby? Just wondering.

4.Stabby is what I like to call a weasel. Have you ever seen a weasel. Vicious little things. Kind of like ferrets but with rabies and their period all at the same time. Weasels will go into a chicken coop and they will kill a bird and eat it. Then just for the fuck of it they will kill every other bird in the coop. I guess so there aren’t any witnesses. Kinda like tossing a camera in the washing machine. A weasel would do that.

5.Stabby thinks that the whole entire world is dumber than her (and that ladies and gents says a lot). We have I wasn’t there, and then two American ninjas did it and then not only did the ninjas do it but as luck would have it the gun misfired and the one with the knife forgot how to use it and I grabbed my purse and ran. Because a purse at that point would be so important. Then, I killed Travis in self defense. Because he said mean things to me and I didn’t like it. He called me a fucking whore. Because you were a fucking whore. I’m a fucking blonde. Deb is my fucking star student. Mama is a fucking great story teller. You see where I am going with this? It all means NOTHING.

6.Now she has her brother in on the action. He has signed a statement that was read into the record that Stabby mom did indeed beat not just stabby but now both of them with a wooden spoon and Dad of stabby had paddles with their names emblazoned on them (but those never got used). It is AMAZING how the story is evolving to suit her new idea of mitigation.

7.Speaking of mitigation. When are we going to see some. you don’t get to claim the PTSD you (doubtfully have) that you got from killing a guy. Mommy hit you with a spoon. Poor muffin. My dad shot me and I didn’t kill anybody.

8.Geffner is a wash. He has pretty much completely swung his entire testimony and it’s a damn shame the jury isn’t going to find that out till after. He did however make that fairly large goof and call Stabbykins a psychopath. That would be one of the only truthful statements of the “paid experts” thus far.

9.Juan is going to turn him into steak tartar. JUST. LIKE. LAST. TIME.

10.Alfred E. is gonna go to the supreme court. Bless his heart. He probably had the motion already written so he could get it in in time for Christmas bonus dividends as Christine Beswick said.

11.I am sick of the eleventybillion tweets a day that Stabby is innocent

12.I am completely pissed off at the ones saying Travis deserved it because he hurt poor muffins feelings.

13.Porngate turned into nothinggate just like I said it would. Unless you are PV. In that case Juan bad, prosecutorial misconduct blah, fucking blah.

14.I will be very happy when Stabby is stuck in a shu somewhere awaiting her ultimate punishment, whatever that may be.

15.There is no way in hell that LWP is even a remote possibility. LWOP is the very best that she is going to do.

16.Walmart never loses anything EVER.

17.This trial is likely to drag out well into the middle of 2015 and if Nurmi really goes to the supreme court (and he will) maybe longer.

18.That could present us with a mistrial and that would probably be the best thing all the way around. Stabby gets LWOP and goes away and we all get to start ragging on some other trial.

There, that feels better. I feel like my old self again.

A very good friend of mine told me today “meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup.”     I say fuck dragons.

RBMD peacing the fuck out.

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93 Responses to The Stabby Arias Penalty Phase Retrial – The Dr. Geffner is an Asshat Edition

  1. Samantha luna says:

    You are so great lady 😄

  2. Cheryl says:

    I was just equating Jodi to a dragon elsewhere, great minds think alike. Thanks for the laughter, I needed it as I am an Australian and we had our own monster hurting our people here.

  3. Ruthanne says:

    OMG!! It was worth waiting for the real you. I really need to stop eating Twizzlers while I read your blog, though. I wonder if I can sue Hershey? Or better, Stabby? After all, this whole lying nonsense has given me PTSD, or rather, brought back PTSD symptoms I had in the past by reminding me what real abuse is like every time she feigns being a victim.

    This was hilarious, and I intend to read this a few more times just to laugh again, after I stop choking.

    I wonder if we can figure out a way to harness the dragons to provide the heat and kill two birds?

    Thanks for being you. Have a great night!

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Ruthanne: Told ya I get bonus point if actual food items come out of your nostrils. When I was younger, I made someone put half a French fry through their nose. It was hilarious. Seriously you should have seen it. I’d like to harness a dragon just to take it for a spin. Then I would build it a flight pen out of some none burnable material and name it fluffy and it would be my pet. Have a great night.

      • Ruthanne says:

        LOL The sad thing is, reading your response, I was thinking, I want a ride on the dragon! Then I remembered there are no such thing. And I was disappointed.

  4. jackie hardie says:

    Hey Kelly, Happy you’re back in true form…

    Three days of this fucking “expert” is weighing on all of us. Supposedly, it was going to be 2 days having him on the stand and has now drug on to 3, quite possibly 4, and then off we go for what, 2 1/2 weeks Holiday vacation??

    We all know that his demise will be when Juan gets his chance, but in the mean time we wait patiently. I have 1 question that I can’t seem to get answered so I will toss it to you…

    The COA has ordered no secret testimony and for the Transcripts to be released. The media is reporting that they are waiting for the Defense response. Response to what?? From what I understand, they have a certain amount of time to decide if they’re going to put the whore back on the stand or strike her testimony. I’m assuming when that decision is made the transcripts can be released. What is the amount of time that they have to decide this? Is it going to take us in to the Holiday vacay and in to the New Year or is it a much shorter time?

    I would really appreciate knowing the answer to this and I’m sure that many others would also. Thanks so much.

  5. essem58 says:

    Hai Kel I’m getting worried I might have to get a gun, fuel cans, hire a boring old white car (coz I’ve actually got a red one), got some sharp knives so I’m good there BECAUSE my mother and father used to spank us. Dad used to get a branch off the apricot tree to hit us. And I had a boyfriend who cheated on me and a husband who was cheating on me when I had 2 little ones the baby was only 9 months old when I suggested he move in with his girlfriend rather than continue the charade. Oh and he used to say mean things to me too. But I haven’t murdered anyone yet so I must be not so smart as Einstein-y and get with the programme. Goofy Geff will be spilling more than his water once Juan gets his x going. Better get some adult diapers Geffy.

    Hope you feeling better Kelly and keeping warm. I’d send you some Aussie heat if I could.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Essem. Geff is gonna be needing those depends. I would take some if you would just put it in a jar and like airmail it or something that would be cool. It is cold up in this bitch. Have a great night my friend.

    • Ruthanne says:

      Oh yeah, summer time for you over there isn’t it? I need to spend our winters in Australia, then it will be like summer most of the year for me.

      • essem58 says:

        Yep will start to get stinking hot late January and February but most of summer is really good. I had knee arthroscopy Wed so I’m laying around resting rewatching CroakerQueen YouTube of the original trial. OMG Jodi and Cha Cha are almost sexual with their little secret whispering I thought Cha Cha was going to go for JAs boob a minute ago. Ewwwww. Watching Dickie Samuels fluster his way with Juan, hasn’t improved 😧

  6. bobbie thompson says:

    I will type slowly too lol. My favs are #5,8,9,12,12, and 16. So glad to roll on the floor again. AHHHHHH laughter, the best meds for PTSD

  7. debilu2 says:

    I LOVE IT!!! That’s the Queen back in her element!!

  8. Mama Via says:

    YOU, madam, are TOO fukkin funny! OMG! BTW…doesn’t Canada have something like social security insurance, withdrawn from your paychecks, and if you become disabled, you receive a portion of your wages? Or perhaps you’ve always been self employed? We gotta find a way for you to receive some income, girlfriend…or a rich uncle who, at 110 years old, willed you a cool million! I’m concerned about those fukkin taxes! And keeping the lights, Internet and toaster to warm the fukkin pop tarts workin! I’m ashamed to confess that at one time, when I was 21, and believed I was gorgeous, I maintained 7 “boyfriends” (friends, not fukk-buddies!)…one for each night of the week so I had someone to buy me dinner! Back then, I “ate like a bird” (not like a pig at the trough, like now) so, I’d take home my leftovers, which I would have for breakfast. My fridge had a gallon of milk, thousands of packets of catsup, and mayo…and a plethora of leftovers in bags, boxes and tin foil shaped like swans. I think it was my second (or was it the third?) who decided to marry me because it was obvious I was having too much fun!! (God forbid THAT happen!) so, we will either have to get you some wealthy boyfriends…or get Stabbykins out of Casa de Arpaio just long enough to take care of that imaginary rich uncle you have…I mean, why NOT her…she’s already headed to Perryville for a long time anyway!

    I hope you are feeling better, honey…you give great BRAIN! And make me LAUGH!!!!

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Mama: Sure does feel good to have my correct hat back on. I have a disability pension sweetie, I get to live on the stunning sum of 800 per month. I am allowed to make some money from home if I can manage it being as I am an agoraphobe, but if you can figure a way to pay hydro, internet, car insurance, prescriptions that aren’t covered (and you would be surprised by what ain’t covered) and then eat and have heat I’m all for your budget plan cuz I can’t figure it out. I don’t ever go out, I haven’t purchased any new clothes on going on 5 years, my only frivolous expense and I don’t consider it frivolous because I need them for protection is dogfood. And I gotta tell ya mama, some days it looks like it might not be that bad. Not whining, just sayin’. Now, Happy I get 75 a month for from the government because he is a service dog. He eats twice that but it’s something. He’s 242lbs. The rest of the dogs are all guard dogs except for peanut but I’d starve so they can eat. Bah, I’ve gone off on a rant. It just pisses me off. I can’t even go outside I’m so fucked up and I have to live on 800 per month. They should be making the fuckface bastard that did this to me pay me every fucking month but they won’t because they think it would escalate the violence and he may take another stab at killing me. Sorry Mama, you caught me at a bad moment. I should probably erase this but I promised myself I would never do that. My shrink says if it needs to come out let it out. I’m glad I made you laugh. I got quite the laugh out of that one myself. I’d be cool with a rich uncle except I don’t have any family left. You got one I can borrow maybe? Tell me what Gramma would say mama, that always makes me feel better.

      • Mama Via says:

        Gramma says that if you don’t get it when you need it, you’ll still need it when you get it! How’s that one? Little Sister, I was in your exact place one time…I got a little less than $1000 dollars, from Social security, my car payment was $642, RV payment was $425, mortgage was $575, utilities $100 and prescriptions (while I was in the “donut hole”) at about $800 a month, doctor visit co-pays ran about $300….I was “too wealthy” (by $40) to get “help”…well, they DID give me $10 in food stamps!…I went through the money I got as a divorce settlement in 18 months and my home was foreclosed. I was forced to move into my sons spare bedroom…thank gods he was there for me! Thankfully, I did not lose my car, but my RV, which I only owed $5000 on was repossessed. I sold all of my jewelry to feed myself, and put gas in the car…a sad point in my life! Needless to say, all my credit cards defaulted..I WANTED to pay them..I just COULDNT! I also couldn’t do bankruptcy, because the ONLY thing I had, was my car (paid off by then) and they would have taken IT!! How would I have driven to the doctors office?

        After I moved in with Son, things got better for me…and a year later, I met my DH. NOW HE pays the mortgage, utilities, car insurance, groceries, vet bills, etc…I traded in my fancy sports car for a matronly sedan…so I pay my car payment, cell phone, credit card bills and doctor…when I run out of money, he pays for the prescriptions that I can’t. (And I occasionally slip a $20 from the grocery money!)

        I will confess that stress sends me off into the deep end. I don’t cope well, the nightmares and night frights return, and although I “pass” as being “sane”…I’m not….people think I’m the funniest person they’ve ever met, when I’m living on an hour or two sleep, and I get to where I’m UNCONTROLLABLY MANIC…the ONLY reason I haven’t been hospitalized is because as a severely abused child, I learned to tell “authorities” the “right answer” to questions…(I actually CRINGED at some of Stabbies answers during her interview with Flores…those were lies I was telling when I was FIVE! “are you SURE that’s me?” While looking at her own pic at Travis’ house…FAIL!!) I learned to say “oh, yea, I’m great! No problems at all!” I learned that even doctors don’t WANT to know the truth enough to LOGICALLY look for inconsistencies in the answers…after all, THEY only see you one HOUR a week! They believe what they WANT to believe! They WANT to believe that the meds they are giving you are working! I usually go in for anti depressants, cuz I’m crying all the time…and the A/D pills send me into a MANIC Phase…and, honestly, MANIA is FUN! But, like any ” up” drug…”up” may be fun…it’s the COMING DOWN that’s the problem, it fukking HURTS! (Theory of Relatively applies to BI-polar too…you go DOWN relative to how UP you were!). There, I’ve confessed..I’m BI-polar. (When UP, I do asinine things like try to buy a $400,000 RV when I don’t have a job….or spend my rent money on a silk bedspread…) then…after a year or so running myself ragged…I go to bed…and stay there…don’t answer the phone, or the door…pay bills or go buy groceries…I dig a hole, crawl in and pull the hole with me…and deal with the nightmares…because I’m sleeping 20 hours of every day…

        Well, honey…that’s my story…I fight for “sanity” every day…I’ve truly been in “a good spot” since 2008…I’ve rebuilt my credit, I don’t live my life doing 110 in a 30 mph zone, I’m “stable”, and I don’t have night terrors…but…I live in fear of the return of “crazy brains”…I hate leaving the house, but, once I get out, it isn’t as bad as I thought it would be…except for Costco…but, I know how you feel honey. We ALL worry about YOU…you have a gentle loving soul…and you are in my prayers daily…I know good things are on the way to you…sending you love..and gramma hugs

      • Ruthanne says:

        I will not compare situations, because yours is way different than mine, but I too am living on about that, $892/mo, and it is really hard.

        I don’t know if you have anything like this there, but I go to the SPCA, they have what they call a Pet Pantry, where people donate food etc for people with animals they can’t afford to take care of anymore, so they don’t end up in shelters, or starving. They also take other donations of things they sell to raise money.

        I was starving myself to feed my dogs and cat (and losing weight rapidly, which I can’t really spare) until I found this place. I just had to prove my income and provide shot records and spay/neuter certs, and they give me food, treats, and litter every month, dry and canned food both. Some things they can’t or won’t eat now and then, and I take it back or give it to someone else I know who needs it, but most of it is great. My dogs do better on grain free and they even accommodate that. This place is a blessing.

        Is there anything like that there that you can get help from to offset the cost of feeding the four-legged children?

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Mama, a very kind person donated to my blog today enough for 80L of diesel for my furnace aaaand enough left over for a turkey. Now, I can do a lot of things mama, but you know about my mama and cooking is not one of those things. I’m totally serious about living on poptarts and pepsi. Toasters are easy. So, how about walking me through cooking about an 8lb turkey? I don’t think they come much smaller then that so I’m going to say 8lbs. It will just be the turkey, so if you could just briefly explain like how the oven works and do I cover the pan and how long it is supposed to cook for and what temperature and do I put water on it and stuff like that, that would be awesome.

      • Mama Via says:

        I will find the info and email it to you, ok? Thank gods, and god bless your donor…s/he is in my prayers!

      • essem58 says:

        Hi Kelly gotta share our family secret stuffing recipe. Well we call it “Chooky Bread” In Aust we often refer to chickens Chooks and use this for a good old roast chicken. So you get a loaf of 1-2 day old bread, cut the crusts off, tear bread into chunks (not breadcrumbs), slice and dice an onion, teaspoon of dried thyme, pinch SnP, and mix through bread. Melt 4 tablespoons of butter and let cool slightly. Beat 2 eggs and pour into cooled but still melted butter. Pour over bread mix. Squish with your hands so it combines. If mix too dry and doesn’t combine beat another egg and bit more butter to wet it more and stuff into the cavity. Delish. Enjoy your Chrissie Tree with some good food, wine and warmth. ⛄️❄️🌲🐓

      • reallybigmeandog says:

        Thanks essem I will give it a try. I can’t believe I am having a turkey for Christmas…with stuffing now. Thanks so much for the recipe and the good wishes. I’m going to be warm, and full (for once) and I have a whole entire family right here. This is the best Christmas ever.

      • BlueWhiteRed says:

        Kels, I am the Chef de Cuisine at Chez BWR. Get ye Reynolds Cooking bags. Rinse turkey rub oil and salt. Put celery stalks and 1 tbsp flour in bag bottom (in a roasting pan). put 3 stals and a chopped onion inside turkry. Cinch bag and cut six slits in top of bag. Bake per box directions. It’ll cook crazy fast and perfect. let bird rest atop oven for half hour, you will retain moisture and carve perfect slices. Mazel tov for your Christmas!Proud of you!

      • Mama Via says:

        BWR gave you almost exact directions I had…easiest for cleanup too!!

      • BlueWhiteRed says:

        Essem, I might be your long lost American cousin! I grew up making stuffing exactly as you! Hoo-yah, mate!

      • Ruthanne says:

        Essem, that’s almost identical to my stuffing recipe. I think I’ll call it Chooky Bread from now on. My kids will love that, even though they’re grown up. They do most of the sides now, but I still have to do turkey and chooky bread because they claim they can’t do it as well. LOL

        Kelly, I always make a few small slits between skin and meat, and put a thin pat of butter in each one before cooking, it helps make your turkey moist and delicious. Sounds like BWR’s plan is the perfect foolproof method for a great turkey and easy clean up. I’m so happy that you are having a turkey for Christmas! I hope you make the chooky bread too. It sounds like the makings of a great meal.

      • essem58 says:

        Hi BWR and Ruthanne that’s Great Grandma Heinicke’s recipe for Chooky Bread, of German heritage. My daughter is 26 has gone to Bali for Christmas and is lamenting missing out on Chooky Bread 😎. So Kelly I really hope you are feeling well enough to get this happening for you coz we from Oz know you’ll enjoy it and more so because distant friends have shared this with you.

  9. Deb says:

    I’m so glad my ole’ Prof. Kelly/Her Royal Highness Ms. Meanie is BAAACK!!! Your brain is, indeed, one of a kind…in the most special & best way possible 🙂 You manage to keep your life together when so many other people would have committed some heinous crime, just for two squares in a heated cell w/lights (hmmm, who do ya’ think I’m referring to?).

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Deb: Wait, WHAT? those bitches have heat…I gotta go.

      • Mama Via says:

        Just don’t do anything naughty in Florida…no meat..only soy “mystery meat” and no a/c in summer and no heat in winter…and asking to see a doc takes 4-6 weeks…and if you are well by then, you get a visit to the hole!

    • Ruthanne says:

      2 squares? Not 3? 🙂

      • Deb says:

        Hey, Ruthanne!! I thought I read somewhere that Sheriff Joe’s restaurant – chez arpaio – doesn’t serve a “lunch” so to speak…more like an early, bulky early dinner kinda thing. Here’s an excerpt from the link: “Inmates in Arizona’s Maricopa County jail system already have it harder than most other prisoners. By decree of Sheriff Joe Arpaio, they are only given two meals a day, which they must pay for out of pocket. All inmates, even the mentally ill, are made to wear pink underwear, sometimes by force (the subject of recent litigation). And those residing in Tent City prison, a self-described “concentration camp,” must brave summer temperatures as high as 117 degrees. Now these same prisoners –totalling roughly 8,000 in number — must suffer one further hardship: they will no longer be able to eat meat.”

        Here’s the link:
        http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/09/27/americas-toughest-sheriff-takes-meat-off-jail-menu/

      • renaes24 says:

        Well, she doesn’t seem to be faring too badly there. She looks like she has actually GAINED weight at Joe’s place.!

  10. renaes24 says:

    Yeh! Yeh! and Yeh! Your back………now …..about that rich uncle? Isn’t he OLD and in need of a nurse to ‘help’ him? Hmmmmmmm. Perhaps I know someone……….

  11. Jen Kane says:

    Oh Kelly. You are a unique and special human being who has a remarkable ability to express what we all think but lack the talent to say. I do not know the details of your past but I am a domestic abuse counsellor in Ontario. If you were to reach out to a Community Support worker from a shelter near you, they would come to you and aside from emotional support could connect you with organizations that could help with everyday needs. There is a lot they can do. Be well wonderful lady.

  12. Constance says:

    A mistrial would outrage each of us, as well as break the Alexander Family’s collective and individual hearts.

    It would be a disgrace, but that’s what this sentencing phase has been from day 1 – including the previous earlier trial.

    I think – and it may be a very unpopular opinion – that the Alexander Family would be best served not by expecting justice that may very well not come in this lifetime via this trial, but by:
    1) finding peace in knowing that Travis is with God
    2) whatever karma he had from a past lifetime that led to this tragic ending has been balanced.
    3) continuing to do their best every day as individuals on this earth
    4) ignoring Stabby’s existence altogether, and not letting thoughts of her taint their consciousness.

    I believe Stabby is irrelevant to their healing. Odd as it sounds.
    Her malignant existence is darkness – only if they keep confirming it.
    Ignore it. Detach from it. Forget it.

    Be The Light. That is all that matters in the long run.

    I hope this isn’t too “woo-woo”.
    I despise Stabby and whole heartedly wish her dead as soon as possible.
    But my cynicism about the justice system says that there may have to be another way to view these events, so that what may be the utter debacle of this sentencing trial’s ending doesn’t continue to further break the Alexander family’s hearts.

    • My Real Name says:

      The Alexander are the only ones who decide what is best for the Alexander family. Karma? Ever had a brother sliced and diced Constance? And that brother deserved it for something that they did in a past life?

      Bullshit.

      • Constance says:

        No, no, I didn’t mean it that way at all.
        I NEVER said, wrote or believe in any way Travis “deserved” this – so do not put words in my mouth I didn’t utter.
        That is your interpretation of what i said.

        My point was that I just am have this unsettling feeling that justice may not be served by this jury, and am looking for any possible way for the family to know peace if that happens. I feel very badly for them.

      • Mama Via says:

        Constance-I understand what you meant…sometimes thoughts written don’t convey true meaning…my dad, sister & nephew were slaughtered by an 18 wheeler Christmas, 1976….my sister had a very miserable life during the 20 years she had…my 3 year old nephew was “mentally challenged”…It is difficult for me to believe that it was “karma” or that anything from a previous life was “balanced”..but, I don’t discount that others might believe that… (Do Mormons believe in karma?). Personally, I believe in a Supreme Being that has many names, that the Supreme Being is too immense for us mere humans to understand, and that this Supreme Being desires us each to act in “his name” to help one another in ways that are put into our hearts…it is difficult for me to believe that the Supreme Being would allow evil to flourish and to “punish” innocents (like my 3 year old nephew, or my grandson who wasn’t given his first breath) (and still allow Manson to live and breathe!). I think that it us possible that challenges are put before us…and that we have Free Will, an opportunity to learn from tragedy in our lives, to grow and to help others. We don’t understand the tragedy in our lives…I still don’t understand why I watched my “mom” die at dinner, I don’t understand why five minutes before my family left my apartment my dad changed his mind, and wouldn’t let me go with them, I don’t know why I was there when the Caterpillar tractor rolled over on two of my favorite cousins…and I don’t understand why, when my Gramma called and asked me to come see her, that work seemed more important at the time…and a week later, she died. Mostly, I don’t know why the woman who gave birth to me & my sister and then left us to die in a trailer…still lives and breathes at 85…that selfish self centered whore (literally) couldn’t hold a candle to my sister or gramma…yet, she’s outlived both…there is no karmic justice.

        We all make our own heaven and hell right here on earth, nothing can be proven beyond this…the Alexander Family have strong ties to their church, and I know they have a lot of support there. I hope that they receive justice for their brother…and the sooner this trial us over, the sooner the emotional wounds will begin to heal…for me…I don’t know that I will ever be over losing my sister and my grandson. (I miss my sister every day and I work hard at forgiving the woman who killed my darling baby boy, but I’ll never have justice, because she killed herself when she killed him)

        Sadly, when you try to ignore it, detach from it or forget it…none of that works…some wounds just don’t heal…and dissociation only causes mental distress which become mental health issues…or..at least it did for me…I sometimes wish I COULD forget…but I’ve learned that by blocking the pain, I also block the joy…and the last thing I’d want to do is find I can no longer remember how kind my sister was, how good my gramma was and how beautiful my grandson was….they are an integral part of the person I am now.

      • Deb says:

        Hi, Mama & constance…you both have kindness in your hearts. You reach out to share that, and sometimes when people try to share on a personal level – it isn’t always understood that way.

        Usually, when I try to share advice or my feelings with my oldest son, he tells me, “Opinions are like assholes…everybody has one!” I think he misses my point, but – what the fuck…I still speak my thoughts 😉

      • Mama Via says:

        Gramma says “opinions are like NOSES…everyone has one and they all SMELL!” Good ole Gramma! (That’s for you, Miss K!)

      • Constance says:

        Mama Vie,
        Thank you for your understanding. i am so sorry for the agonies and losses you have suffered. you are very wise and what you say is true.

      • Constance says:

        Deb,
        Thank you also. I believe we all want to see the Alexander Family find peace.

      • Mama Via says:

        Constance, I’m glad that you didn’t take my “mama lecture” (that’s what son calls my rants) in a way that I didn’t mean…and thank you for your condolences…as hard as I try to not let the past affect my present, I often fail…ESPECIALLY at this time of year, the anniversary of my sister’s death…she and I endured and survived a very bad childhood…and our egg donor drank heavily wile she was pregnant…more so with Tina than me…and Tina’s entire life was affected. For 18 1/2 years, I was Tina’s mother/sister/protector…and I failed her twice…once when she bore a child of incest…and again the day she died…I cannot help feeling guilty about my failure…but I wasn’t much more than a year older than she was…in retrospect, little more than an immature teen! The last time I talked to her, we had an argument…a sister spat…Auntie said “you had sister spats before, right? Didn’t you always forgive one another then? Do you really think she would have stayed mad at you for 30 years?” All very true…but, I’m sure that Miss K will confirm that when it comes to losing a sibling that you love so dearly, what you KNOW in your heart doesn’t erase the “survivor guilt” you feel. Compounding that guilt is that I was “supposed” to be in the car with them…plans changed at the last minute…and that I had given her the car that they were killed in. I’m sure that every one if Travis’ sisters and brothers are tallying their guilt into the equation. It’s human nature. I know it might sound odd…but I almost envy the Alexander family…they can point at someone and say “if it weren’t for HER…”…I can’t lay blame to anyone…it was an accident…pure and simple…so, there is only ME to blame…for giving the car, for not being there with them, for losing my temper and arguing…for saying “I’m glad they went home…I don’t care if I never see them again…” (Born from the frustration of having two grown men, two adult women, two toddlers and two newborns…all cooped up in two rooms for 19 weeks…gramma used to say “after 3 days, fish and company both smell!”

        If my grandson hadn’t been murdered by his mother, this would have been his second Christmas. I cannot ever forgive that she robbed me of my only grandson…Neither his father (my Son) nor I ever had the opportunity to hold him…Son is 40 now…I don’t think that I will ever be able to hold a grandbaby in my arms…or teach him all the “gramma says” I know.

        It’s sad that no one will ever remember Travis as Daddy, his sisters will never hold their niece/nephew. When a sibling passes while in their 20s-30s…there are many years left in a lifetime to grieve the loss. The pain never goes away, but it does subside somewhat…”closure” is only a word…I pray that the Arias Circus ends soon, so that the Alexander’s pain can ease. What a horrible way for them to spend what SHOULD be the happiest, most peaceful time of year…….

        Thanks for allowing me to rant, miss kelly…

    • My Real Name says:

      Constance, you have your right to opinion. I do not believe that whatever karma Travis had from a past lifetime that led to this tragic ending has been balanced by his murder. To me, this is is not about karma. It is about that barbaric butchering bitch from Yreka. To suggest karma makes me want to puke.

      It would be impossible for me to ignore the existence of someone who had done what the Alexander family had done to them. Could you?

      I can only imagine what the family goes thru minute to minute. Who can suggest that they may have to view “these events” in another/different way? They are going to view things however they chose to.

      And further break their hearts? Does the heart of any family who has had something like this done to them ever stop breaking, what ever the out come of a sentencing phase?

      You looking for a possible way for them to find peace is not your job. They are going to find a way, I am sure. Will they ever find it? I hope so.

      I won’t ask you or expect you to further clarify what you mean. Your opinion is your opinion. And don’t want to take up anymore space on this.

    • Ruthanne says:

      This is also a difficult time of year for me. I will not get into all the reasons why, but I do want to add my 2 cents in another way. We have all had to learn to live and cope with many things that happened in our lives, and we all do it in our own ways. Giving others advice based on what may have worked for us, is never a bad thing. Perhaps if ten people explain what worked for them, someone else will find one that works for them.
      I don’t think Mormons believe in Karma or in reincarnation either. One soul, one life, you are here for a reason and you go home when you die. From what I’ve read, that’s what I think they believe in simple terms.
      Personally, I believe we do all have a purpose, but once here we get distracted by the world and we don’t always fulfill our purpose, or maybe we fulfill some of it, but we don’t accomplish all that we were meant to. I think we are supposed to try not to let the world infect (yes I meant to say infect) us so much so that we can find and fulfill our purpose, and some of us do just that, even if we fail a lot initially and it’s later in life when we are finally able to focus enough to do what we came here for. I too believe when we die we go Home, here is only a temporary stop.
      I also think there is something to that saying “the good die young.” That’s not to say there aren’t good people who live long or bad people that die young, but we’ve seen so many innocent children and really good people go too soon. Some believe they are being spared things to come in the future here. Someone once told me that they believed God thought they could do more work from Heaven than on earth. I’d like to believe that. I do believe God is way beyond our understanding, and He knows so much that we don’t. I have to trust that there is a bigger plan, and when we go Home, it will all become clear and make perfect sense.
      Regardless of your beliefs, and even if you don’t believe in a higher power of any kind, the most important thing to healing and coping is not to blame yourself for things beyond your control, or even for things you may have said or done before someone passed that you which you hadn’t. It took me years, but I finally forgave myself for all but one thing, I’m struggling with the last one. But I do believe that when our loved ones go, they are in Heaven and now know everything God does, including how we really feel about them, so nothing you said in anger or frustration while they were here matters one little bit. You can’t let those things effect how you feel, they know your heart, and they’re all good, so you need to be too.

      With all the negative feelings that stir for me this time of year, what I’ve been concentrating on, and am sharing just to lighten things a bit, is that this year is the first in many where I am actually excited about the holiday again. My grandson turned one in October, and a good friend gave me a birthday/Christmas gift (my birthday is Monday) of enough cash for gas in my truck to go to my daughter’s house on Christmas Eve and stay overnight to watch my grandson open his gifts on Christmas morning. My older daughter gave me my Charlie Brown ChristmasTree, which I love, and over the summer I found items at yard sales which I put aside as Christmas gifts for my 2 daughters. I received a surprise refund on something that I didn’t expect, and was able to get a new gift for each of my girls, small gifts for their significant others, and a couple of things for my grandson, AND I had to replace a part for my daughter’s computer (she couldn’t afford to) that I thought would interfere with all that gift buying, but a mistake at Apple caused me to get the part for free, which was just a miracle to me, and allowed me to do the above gift buying. So now I get to watch them open gifts, (last year I couldn’t give them anything at all and I felt awful), and I get to be with my grandson when he opens his for the first Christmas where he can actually do that, and be excited. I got a taste of it at his birthday party, and I can’t wait for Christmas morning. I don’t think I’ve said that since my kids were little. With everything going on in the world, all the bad we see and hear about everyday, we need to focus on the joy, even the little things, and make them feel like big things. And we need to forgive, others, yes, but more importantly, ourselves. We on here have all been through a lot in the past, we deserve the gift of forgiving ourselves and letting go of all that. I hope we all can give ourselves that gift this year and start the new year guilt free.
      May this holiday season, whatever you celebrate, be the start of many great days to come, for all of us!

      • Deb says:

        Ruthanne, allowing oneself to be guilt free is not an easy accomplishment for many of us, but it sure is something to strive for! So much of what you said in your comment, I can relate to on a personal level. It’s nice to know I have good company here on this blog 🙂

        I hope you continue to enjoy the holiday season, and every other season of the year, as well <3.

  13. BlueWhiteRed says:

    Brava, Kels. Man, we would have been a great team in the foxhole. We would have pissed our BDUs laughing. I bet Santa will bring you something really good for being such a good girl this year! Roger out.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      You totally know that the insurgents would have had to give up because they were dying from laughter.

      • BlueWhiteRed says:

        OMG, then you would be Supreme Leader of the World. I’ll salute but no bowing. BWR no bow to no one.

      • reallybigmeandog says:

        Nah, you would be my vice supreme leader of the world so you wouldn’t have to salute.

      • Mama Via says:

        I would like to apply to be Princess, please…I wanna wear a tiara!

      • Deb says:

        Mama, in my eyes, you already do!

      • reallybigmeandog says:

        Exactly what Deb just said. In my mind you never go anywhere without your tiara.

      • BlueWhiteRed says:

        I would be Secretary of Defense/Defence! Mama, the tiara passes inspection! Hoo-yah!

      • Mama Via says:

        You would LOVE my tiara! I have one picked out at Diamond Nexus!! Now, all I need us a very old rich uncle with one foot in the grave, and the other on a banana peel! My problems would be solved!

        Then, we would have to build the RBMD School of Law and Home for the Mentally Questionable…a cute little place up in Ontario…a sweet little place with 1-2 bedroom cottages, with a chef, pool boy and medical staff…I’m already drawing the floor plan for my little cottage…complete with art studio with big windows facing north…I’m thinking either Georgian (all white, big columns) or Victorian style (purple and teal!)…the hot tub is just outside the french doors in my bedroom…a tiara really looks great with a swimsuit and “kitten” heels!

      • Deb says:

        Hah! Save me a room – even if it’s off the pool house, will ya’?

      • Mama Via says:

        Oh…for full disclosure…back in the dark ages, when I graduated H.S…(no, not at the bottom of the class, cuz I went to school with dumb hicks who were mostly high on pot!) …when the senior yearbook was published…under my photo, the Jack-brains wrote “Generally speaking, she’s generally speaking!” Nu-uh! I’m TYPING,

      • Ruthanne says:

        If Blue is gonna be sec def I want to be his second in command, asst sec def? is that a thing? I majored in criminal justice and did some security stuff, so my job has to be in that arena somehow.
        Now that we all put in for our positions, let’s get Kel that Supreme Ruler title, shall we?

      • BlueWhiteRed says:

        Ruthanne, you are my nominee for Asst Sec of Defense/Defence, okay!

    • Mama Via says:

      Deb, your little cottage is right next to mine, dear! So we can watch the pool boy work!! (Hey, little old ladies can have (wet) dreams too, ya know!)

      By the way…good morning from sunny florida! The weather report today calls for clear sunny skies and a high of 69 degrees. Slight breeze in the air, and a BEA-UTI-ful sunrise this morning! The sliding glass door is open, letting in the fresh, clean (albeit dusty) sea breeze, and I’m gonna go put on my shorts and t shirt! What is fuel oil?

      • renaes24 says:

        Mama, with THAT weather report, I have only one thing to say: BITE ME!

      • Mama Via says:

        Haha, Renae, I KNOW you LOVE ME! Nee-ner-nee-ner!

      • Ruthanne says:

        Hey Mama, can my cottage have an enormous library with a big old fashioned desk in it? And I’d like to look at the pool boy too. LOL
        Nice weather, wish I was there. It’s cold and cloudy here on the NJ shore, getting ready for something to happen, rain/snow, they never seem to know these days. 😦

    • Mama Via says:

      Took smart ass son to costco yesterday to get “essentials”…we got separated…so he called my cell…when he finally found me he said…”well, when we got separated, I figured no big deal, just look for short, fat, gray haired granny…then realized everyone in there was short, fat and had gray hair…so I had to call…” That’s when I swapped his Charming Ultra to the Kirkland brand single-ply “john wayne” brand of toilet paper…(john wayne didn’t take shit of nobody, and that TP doesn’t either!).

      Oh, JUST KIDDING!!

      • Deb says:

        That visual is going to have me laughing all day! (The one about the T paper…not the short, gray-haired granny; I happen to resemble that remark, too!)

      • Mama Via says:

        Hahaha! Well…even on my meds, I can be funny sometimes! I accidentally bought a HUGE (well, you know Costco) package of that stuff..it was AWFUL, you had to use 3-4 YARDS of that stuff when you went tinkle! So, son was over one day…complaining about how his current “non-rent paying” roommates were eating his food, and using all his TP! So…hehehe…I sent the John Wayne paper home with him (and several rolls of Charming for “personal use”) so he could put that in the bath…(I am telling you, I am EVIL and DEVIOUS!)…

        Some background is needed before I tell you what ELSE I did…you probably remember that last January, Son’s wife tricked him into letting her move in…she was SUPPOSED to pay half the rent! Well, not only did she NOT pay a DIME for her own support…she was pregnant with some low-life’s baby…she had the baby…and while Son was at work…moved the baby-daddy into the house TOO!!! And HE didn’t work or pay rent EITHER!!! Well, Son went on vacation (remember, I called Child welfare on those two druggies?) and when he came home…their DRUG DEALER had moved in TOO!!! (And, a few weeks later, HIS girlfriend moved in!!! Everytime Son would bring home a loaf of bread, some cheese, whatever…those people would eat it…and they HAD MONEY…they were buying drugs with their food stamps!

        Well, (I’ll try to make tis short, really!)…Soup & Salad had a fist fight…and he was taken to jail…no one would pay the $500 to get him out (haha..he even called his boss at the place he had worked for a whole week!)…CPS visited and she rested positive for pot and opioids…so, to escape CPS (and still get high) she moved out to go live with mama…to get out of anger management, probation offices and drug tests, HE ran off to Tennessee (so much for “true love” eh?)…but the drug dealer was still there…and REFUSED to LEAVE!!! He HAD money to buy FOOD…cuz he was buying phones, TVs, etc…but refused to pay a dime for rent or utilities and ate anything Son took into the house! SO…(I’m a mama bear when it comes to my son!)

        Last week I also sent a container of the turducken we still had left over from thanksgiving…I put FIVE post-it notes on it…one on each side…and one on the top…in BIG RED LETTERS…I wrote “THIS BELONGS TO SON…Do NOT EAT!!!!! (underlined 3 times) well…this turducken was close to THREE WEEKS OLD!!! The Cajun spices kept it from SMELLING bad…but, no doubt, it wasn’t good! …I told Son to just put it into the icebox next to a 6 pack if beer…

        Can you guess what happened then??

        Son went up to visit his dad….and when he came home a few days ago…all the beer was gone, of course…and about half of the turducken was gone too…and several rolls of the john wayne toilet paper! And so were the drug dealer and his girlfriend!

        We put new locks on all the doors yesterday…..,

  14. Marie says:

    I look forward to reading your blog. A voice of truth in all the murkiness. I would like to contribute by mail. Do you have a P.O. Box? Love from California.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Marie: Nope just a regular one. Kelly McFadden RR3 Waterford Ontario N0E1Y0. Thank you so much. Love from Canada

  15. karen30036 says:

    Fuck Willmott, fuck Nermi, fuck the giggling, water spilling, mole on the chin, creepy, hired gun, asshole. Most of all, fuck you Stabby.I have to get beyong this burning hatred I have for all of these fucking people. Does anyone in the courtroom notice if any of these fucks look at the Alexander family, or don’t they have the fucking balls? Fuck!

    • Deb says:

      karen, I fuckin’ loved your comments! P.S. The only ones with any balls are all on the side of the prosecution…but I know you know that 😉

    • Ruthanne says:

      Tell us how you really feel! LOL I think we are all right there with ya! I’ll just let you rant for me, otherwise my BP goes up dangerously high, and I’m really tired of all the drs and meds, so I’m trying to be really good, and calm.

      • renaes24 says:

        Crispy Critters! I am also oh so tired of these fools. Send her off to Perryville……NOW! I don’t care anymore if it the DP or not……just bury her deep in Perryville and let her stew in her own juices and hornets nest of a mind.

  16. My Real Name says:

    Love, love, love it! You’re back!

    Found this on twitter. https://twitter.com/TruthsCollide/status/545754862680432640/photo/1

  17. BC Doug says:

    Love your blog! While I agree that the bitch is guilty as hell, I really have trouble with some gaping holes (!) in Dr. Horn’s testimony and Det. Steve’s claim to have misunderstood the sequence of wounds for 5 years up until the day before trial or whenever. There are some good, thoughtful analyses (with helpful pictures, even!) of the medical evidence out there that kinda make one think. Anyhow, I sent you some shekels, so don’t dump on me too bad for having a doubt on that issue. Can’t wait for Juan to get after Dr. Spillsalot in ’15 and his cross on the Law of Compaction and whatever other philosophies Hodi claims to have subscribed to.

    Stay warm and have a happy holiday season.

    BC Doug

  18. Martini13 says:

    LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The attorney 2 doors down just came and shut my door bc i was reading this outloud to my friend & laughing so loud that apparently I’m “disruptive” HAAHAHHAHAHA!!!!! IDGAF – I’m just happy to have yet another good read to power me through the rest of the day! Thank you my dear 😉

  19. Lacey Leonard says:

    Hey Kelley, u feeling ok? Lacey Leonard Senior Food Consultant Phone : 877-222-2033 or Direct 336-398-1554

    7880 Thorndike Rd Greensboro, NC

  20. reallybigmeandog is the Best got danged morning read EVER!

  21. Cecelia says:

    I just stumbled onto your blog yesterday…
    Still lmao. Love your quick wit
    Awesome read… thank you!

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Cecelia. Welcome to the Dogpound as the comment section has affectionately been dubbed. Thank you so much. I must warn you that I am exceptionally sweary and yelly and stuff. Thank you for giving me a read. Hope you enjoy the rest of the show.

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