A Guest Blog By the 13th Juror Paul Sanders

Did anyone get the plate number off of whatever ran me over-somewhere on earth

Hai everybody. Well, let’s just all agree that I never do that ever again mmmmmkay? Seriously. You hear about drug interactions but you just assume the doctor in charge maybe checked the eleventy five pages of fucking medications you were already on. Your Judge/Law Professor/Dean of Fuckery/ Queen of the Region of Mean could have killed her damn self. Fuck me. Mad? Yup!! But it seems to be at least sorted now and I don’t feel like I’m slowly drowning anymore and my head has cleared so. HAI!!!

Before I post today I want to REALLY thank Blue and Paul for having my back, but Blue, thanks for the concern, and for keeping everybody posted and mostly for the Skype check ins to make sure I was okay. I’m hella tough but that scared me just a little bit.

So, on with the show. Today we have another Guest blog from Paul Sanders. It’s a day or so late, but it’s worth the wait I promise.

The Jodi Arias Retrial: A Juror’s Perspective

DAY 19


A diamond would not be valuable were it easily discovered. The Defense Team handed one to Juan Martinez. It was wrapped in coal and hidden from sight. It was subtle and became the jewel that the Jury will take with them on their time off until next year.

It would be the fourth day of testimony from Dr. Geffner, the trial experienced Psychologist. It is also the eleventh day in a row of hearing psychological testimony. It has become two Doctors who have said almost the same thing but with different affectations. It can get tiring but Jennifer Willmott kept a good pace today by constantly presenting new documents for the Jury to see. This was a continuation of yesterday’s timeline of the life of Arias and Travis Alexander seen mostly from Arias’ eyes through the continual presentation of pages from her journals.

Simultaneously, Jennifer Willmott would query the Doctor on a timeline he created based, again, on mostly Arias’ journal. It was lightly seasoned with some loose corroboration and a touch of nastily worded e-mails. Much of this had been visited through the testimony of Dr. Fonseca.

It is the note takers that I watch on the Jury since the rest of the Jurors carry stoic faces that reveal nothing of what they may think. I see particularly five note takers. I take notes as I did as a Juror on the capital murder case of Marissa DeVault in the premeditated murder of her husband. Our second of three verdicts reached qualified DeVault for the death penalty. We had fourteen days of Psychological testimony throughout the three phases. My book, “Brain Damage: A Juror’s Tale” (available on is the story of this recent and similar trial.

The note taker on a Jury, once started, realizes that he or she has to be quick with the pen. They want to make sure that nothing is missed because he or she never knows what is going to become critically important. The note taker learns to write in outlines instead of paragraphs. They find that dates and times are important and they focus on writing exhibit numbers down and what the exhibit refers to. At the time, they don’t realize how important the writing down exhibit numbers is.

The Jury will not get transcripts of the trial in the deliberation room once they are reduced to twelve members. They will, however, have access to all the evidence including that of the previous first and second phases. When the Jury deliberated in the first two phases, the evidence was in the Jury room, at least the pictures and documents. They could always request additional items. The third phase is different because the evidence must be requested by the Jury and requested by Exhibit numbers.

It is from one of the note takers where the eventual Jury Foreperson will arise.

Throughout the morning, Jennifer Willmott rotated between the showing of Dr. Geffner’s objective timeline and the writings of Arias directly from her hard bound diary. Her writings were careful written and accented by rounded letters. The penmanship was deliberate. It was written with particular care to the styling of the letters and their grace and flow. It was something the Jury would see all day. I think the Defense Team was trying to humanizer her. Days and dates abounded for the note taking Juror even though much of the testimony was tired, worn and redundant.

The Jury was dismissed for lunch and Judge Stevens stayed the Court. We were given a treat that the Jury missed.

Juan Martinez stood up and took a few steps in front of the Prosecution table, facing Dr. Geffner. He wore a gray suit with yellow shirt and a spotted design gold tie.

“Did you interview Travis Alexander?” Mr. Martinez pointedly asked.

Dr. Geffner nervously laughed. “Well, no,” he said. “I couldn’t do that.”

“Did you speak with Mr. Alexander?” Juan asked as he took a step forward.

“That’s kind of ridiculous,” he answered. “He was already gone.”

Juan Martinez stood his ground as he stared at the Doctor. “Did you use the word ‘Manipulative’ in regards to Travis Alexander?”

The Dr. answered and there was the slightest undertone of nervousness. “No. I don’t remember saying that.”

“Aren’t you labeling his conduct by using the word, ’Manipulative’?” he asked, obviously ignoring the Doctor’s memory loss of testimony he had just given minutes before the Jury was dismissed.

“It could be interpreted that way,” he relented with a shrug of his shoulders.

Willmott stood up in her deep aqua colored business skirt suit. “This is discovery and not a cross-examination!” she said vehemently.

“Go on,” Judge Stevens motioned to Juan. Jennifer Willmott remained standing, waiting to pounce.

Juan Martinez did not look at her. He looked at the Judge before he continued his cross examination. He opened his arms with his palms opened and slightly turned outward, looking at the Doctor. “Is saying a ‘Manipulative’ relationship a diagnosis?”

Dr. Geffner looked toward the Judge and saw no help being offered. He looked back at Juan Martinez as if he understood his semantics mistake. “I was looking at all the information. So, no. It’s a general behavior I may have perceived. It is not a diagnosis.”

Juan Martinez did not thank him. He turned on his heel and went back to the Prosecution table while Jennifer Willmott glared at him.

Judge Stevens recessed the Court for lunch. It was really an early Christmas gift from the friendly Doctor seeing Juan take a sample of his eventual prey. Dr. Geffner collapsed like a house of playing cards. His confidence seemed weak and his laugh was nervous with an artificial hollowness. It was going to be a bloodbath.

The Defense spent the return from lunch and the rest of the afternoon presenting a line by line repetition of Jodi’s journal entries. The Jury was fed hours of it while it was interchanged with the kind Doctor’s objective timeline. There may have been those who tired of hearing Arias’ words but they worked not to show it in his or her faces.

The Jury heard of trivialities in Arias’ life and the drama she produced. They saw some of the harsh words of Travis and it reminded them that they still did not know what made him so angry with her on May 26, 2008. Certainly, I think the idea was to present her as a victimized angel but something else happened. The date of this Gmail is also the last communication they knew of between Arias and Travis Alexander.

That was until Jennifer Willmott’s started presenting communications after May 26, 2008. It had my interest and that of the Jury. They still want to know what happened. They will recreate the murder in spite of a decision being reached by another Jury. They need to know themselves because it is natural instinct. It will be an easier path in the Jury room to put it back together. The timeline and her Journals are the closest we get to his death thus far in the retrial phase. Just because the lawyers and the prior verdicts say premeditation existed will not stop them from looking to answer the questions they never got to see in the first phase.

As they sit in the Jury box, they are trying to answer in their minds why the Defendant in the chair, and the words they have heard read aloud, could have done such a horrific act. They become detectives, especially the note takers.

“So, Doctor,” Jennifer Willmott began, “we are reading from her journal of June 1, 2008.”

“Yes,” the Doctor agrees as he reads the projector screen while she reads aloud. It is the same large screen that is in front of the Jury. I notice that Juror # 17 is looking forward toward the screen and I can tell he is writing down quotes just as I am.

“Anyway, after San Diego, I’ll drive to Utah,” Willmott reads from Arias’ journal, written only three days prior to the brutal killing of Travis Alexander. “I’m not sure what we’ll be doing there. It will be nice to get to know Ryan (Burns). I think cuddling is definitely on the list. After some dinner. Maybe after a nap.”

I notice something. It is something about the writing. It was the handwriting. We had seen the bulk of what amounted to two days of seeing her hand written journals. They had always seemed the musings of a teenager of sorts with their care in being written with round and flowing cursive letters. It was something you no longer noticed because you hand seen so much of it.

This journal entry was different. It felt different and its penmanship seemed rushed. There did not seem to be the particular care normally taken in the hand writing. It is speculation and it will be dismissed as speculative that it is different from the rest of her hand writings.

Willmott continued reading Arias’ words, “I mentioned my road trip to Travis. He didn’t sound all that thrilled to me. As far as I know, he knows nothing of Ryan. I asked Zion not to mention it to him so I wouldn’t have to explain anything or hurt him further. It would only be a repeat of our last blowup,” Jodi finishes writing.

“Tell me, what does this mean to you, Doctor?” Willmott asked.

The Doctor rambled on about Jodi moving on in her life but she cannot escape the cycle of abuse. She sees new beginnings while he is exercising control…

I had just finished taking notes of her journal on the screen of June 30, 2008. I stopped writing to ease a cramp in my hand and as I was doing that, my eyes happened to fix on Juror # 17. My Juror acumen from my experience as a Juror kicked in.

He stands about six foot, two inches. He has a shaved head and a long handlebar mustache that runs down the side of his jawline. The mustache is always impeccably trimmed. It takes away from looking at his cleanly shaven head. His shirts are always pressed and he always looks comfortable in his position. He is a note taker but does not work hard at every single detail by writing as furiously as I might. He seems to write when important issues are presented. He flies under the radar but I feel confidence in his walk without being over bearing.

The Doctor was talking but most of the note takers had stopped taking notes. Juror # 17 had his head cradled in his hand. He was looking downward and writing. I could tell he wasn’t listening to the Doctor. He would look up occasionally his look was distant and pensive. It was something I think few would notice unless you have sat in the Jury box.

One can write anything they would like in their Juror- issued folders with legal pads inside. The words in these notebooks are the property of the State and remain in the Jury room for the duration of the trial. Eventually, when the verdict is finally reached, each Juror book is destroyed by the State.

The note taker will sometimes write thoughts that he or she will want to bring up later in the Jury room.

I could tell with his thoughtful looks into space that he was working something out and then writing it on his Juror pad. I saw him flip back a couple pages and then return to writing.

It took one journal entry by Jodi Arias to render the prior two days of testimony as useless. He was putting pieces together. He was looking at dates. I was doing the same thing. It was beginning to dawn on him that the journal entry from June 1, 2008 was manufactured for people who might look at it the future and the future was here.

The letter was staged. There was no trip to San Diego planned. It was a lie. The Journal had impeached itself in the craftily placed words of Arias. The entirety of the journal would be dismissed in deliberations.

The Defense Team wanted to humanize Jodi Arias in the presentation of her journals but instead revealed a killer of the utmost evil.

This is the mitigation and aggravation phase. The Doctor spent four days on the stand and the bulk of this past two days fell into the Prosecution’s hands as the Journal entry gave rise to premeditation instead of mitigation. The Jury will have a Dry Erase board to work with when they get back to the deliberation room at some point. They will draw a line down the center making two columns with one for aggravation and one for mitigation.

Premeditation will go into the aggravation column among many other factors the Jury will see at the start of the New Year. They will see the Cross Examination of Dr. Geffner. They will eventually see Dr. DeMarte when Juan Martinez presents his side of the case.

We may or may not see Jodi Arias on the witness stand but we will eventually see her make her “Statement of Allocution”, as is her right, to the Jury.

We will not see her take ownership of this brutal murder nor will we not see the remorse she needs to show if she wants to stay out of the death chamber.

We close out the year in the Jodi Arias Retrial with hope and not just because of my speculative musings on what a Juror is thinking. It, however, is becoming clearer by the day that there are no mitigation factors.

This Jury will find Justice for Travis Alexander and his family. But, first, Juan Martinez will present the sword as Lady Justice watches…

I wish the family the most blessed of a Christmas Holiday and hope the New Year finally brings them some resolution and the Justice they so richly deserve…

I wish all of you, my Dear Readers, a rich and warm Holiday Season with great Hope and personal growth in 2015. I am humbled by the great amount of support as we collectively search for Justice for Travis…

“Every good relationship that develops as a result of this Trial is the manifestation of the Spirit of Travis Alexander.”

Justice 4 Travis Alexander…

Justice for Dale…

Paul A. Sanders, Jr.
The 13th Juror @The13thJurorMD (Twitter)

From me to all of you, thanks for sticking around on this sometimes very weird ride, thanks for the concern and the friendship and most of all for making me feel like I have a family. I hope you all have the best Holiday. I know it’s going to be my best ever. I will be around, but I’m really trying to follow orders and rest. Since the trial is on hiatus, I’m kind of leaving things in the very capable hands of Blue and Paul and if I feel like writing I will write. I promise you all I WILL be here for 2015 and many years to come.

Thank you for a great 2014. I’m thinking about you all.

RBMD peacing the fuck out!!



35 Responses to A Guest Blog By the 13th Juror Paul Sanders

  1. Lacey says:

    Stay well my friend ♥

  2. bobbie thompson says:

    First to respond meds… ummmm no, docs sometimes miss things. Scary but true. When I was in my clinicals (that would be when I worked 40 hrs a week for free to be trained to be a therapist. Like DeMarte even though dumb ass JA supporters can’t grasp that you do practice under a supervisor until you are licensed) one of my assignments was to go through patient charts and look for med errors like yours. So ALWAYS check your own meds and side effects.

    Great read Paul, I just hope all the jurors are as astute as you. But I’ve read some scary things by JA supporters. They say stupid shit like “There wasn’t any DNA evidence that she was there” or “There wasn’t a blood trail from the shower to the sink.” And telling them “Yes, her bloody handprint was on the wall.” or ” Well, she threw water all over the floor to try to clean the blood up.” But the idiots still argue. Scary shit when people value murderous people.

  3. Mama Via says:

    Well done, Paul! I enjoy the way you write! I especially enjoyed “Brain Damage” and reading your experience as a juror!

    Miss K, you just rest…and know that we all love you!

    Bobbie…yes, I agree..I’m not sure if the Stabbites are just trying to get attention by writing illogical things, just to stir the pot & get people all upset…or if they have some sort of “challenge”, or maybe they don’t speak English… I’ve read some pretty crazy stuff…last time I visited that web site, I ended up with a migraine because their ideas are so far into outer space that I was deprived of oxygen! Hopefully, one of their members didn’t get on the jury!

    Merry Christmas, happy holidays to everyone! You are each very special friends!

    • bobbie thompson says:

      Hey, maybe THEY have “brain damage”. Or maybe they just need to be eval’ed for meds. I hope none of them live near me…yikes. I might need to borrow kelly’s guard dog. I just can’t understand how they think we’re weird when Travis is dead. D-E-A-D. At JA’s hand. One lady over there is a teacher. I’m glad she ain’t teaching my kids.

    • Deb says:

      You too, Mama. 3

      • Deb says:

        That isn’t what I typed…let me have a redo… You too, Mama ❤ – and our beloved Dean/Queen ❤
        Hope this second time is the 'charm'…Hah!

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Mama: I’ve been following my doctors orders to the letter. I hope you know that goes both ways. I love you all too. Have a wonderful Holiday.

  4. renaes24 says:

    Miss Kelly, Hopefully you get all your meds from ONE pharmacy. If so, they should have a record of all the medications you are on. Next time you get ‘something new’, ask the PHARMACIST to look for any drug interactions. They should be able to pick it up very quickly on their computers.
    Now……..REST for you. Snooze and dream of sugar-plums or pop-tarts or whatever…….Think of us a long-term company that you don’t have to entertain. Just pop-up now and then and let us know you are alive & well……..we’ll all be here waiting when you feel better.

  5. Tyla says:

    Would like to say HAPPY HOLIDAY to each and every one of you, thank you for sharing some of your pain and your happiness with me – these last couple of months (since I found Kelly 🙂 have made feel like I have some tough ass friends here …… ALL of you, I wish you a very happy holiday and a better New Year ❤

    Kelly you my dear are a tough woman, some one I am proud to have met (even if it's only through here), thank you Queen for making this crazy ass trial seem humorous. Have a wonderful happy relaxing turkey Christmas 🙂 I wish you all the happiness, health and love in this new year, may all your wishes come true because of anyone I have ever met it is YOU who deserves a magical happy 2015. ❤

    Thank you Blue for standing in for our dear Kelly when needed and for keeping us posted on her, Happy Holiday to you and your family. 🙂

    Thank you Paul for your insight to this fucked up trial, Happy Holiday to you and your family 🙂

    From My Home To Your Home –

  6. BrandyinCalif says:

    Hi Kelly, I am wishing you all the best, and hope you feel better real soon hon! Please take care of yourself and get all the rest you can. That is the most important thing. I have added you to our prayer list. I hope you know that you are much loved and respected and we are all here for you. xo God Bless you!

  7. hbbeachbun says:

    So glad you are feeling better Kelly. May you have a blessed Christmas and a wonderful and healthier New Year.

    Thank you Blue and Paul for your insight and keeping us up to date on our Queen. May you all have a blessed holiday season.

  8. Deb says:

    Well, Ms. Dean of Fuckery & Queen of Mean…
    Your dutiful and faithful blog mates are all keeping you in their prayers & are gathered here, just wait patiently for your return! ❤ and prayers for you to have a deserved rest, a vigorous New Year, a realization of just how much you are loved…just by being yourself…that's all we want for you to experience. You will truly NEVER be alone again. So help us – GOD willing!!! Alone we can't do much…together, we can accomplish anything…& don't you forget it! Love, Love, and a little more Love…just to remind you that we have your back!

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Deb. Thank you my friend. Well that brought a couple of tears to this RBMD’s eyes. I am starting to get that and it is truly humbling. I hope you know and everyone knows that I love you all back. Have a wonderful Holiday and I will see you back here soon.

  9. BlueWhiteRed says:

    Paul, this is putting us in the courtroom with you. I have been Juror 7 in a DP trial 20 years ago. My defendants were not psychopaths. The nuances of Juror 17 were so vivid, I could see his mind “click”. As I said, I enjoyed your book so much. I believe the public should sit on a trial to see what REALLY goes on. Kudos, and I hope 2015 brings you the successes you richly deserve. I’m honored to write entries with you. BWR.

  10. Arizona Rose says:

    Firstly, to our Queen, I’d like to send virtual hugs and prayers for your full and speedy recovery. We love you Kelly, and will be right here waiting for your return.

    BWR and Paul…a big thank you to both of you for stepping into the gap. You are both awesome writers, and Paul, I can’t wait to read your book. I hope and pray that this jury can see past the manipulations of Stabby and her defense team. What I don’t understand is why in the initial trial, the defense was allowed to present all sorts of unsubstantiated muck about the victim, and yet the prosecution was apparently not allowed to present certain evidence as it was considered to be too prejudicial to the accused (now the convicted, and rightfully so). I am so looking forward to Juan tackling the matter of Stabby owning a stun gun.

    Lastly, I’d like to wish our Queen and everyone else here a very peaceful and joyous Christmas. My wishes also extend to the Alexander family, and to Juan and the rest of his team.

  11. Connie Rust says:

    Paul…very good article as always. I do enjoy reading them.

    Kelly….rest up and take care of yourself! Sending lots of good juju your way.

    It is so refreshing to see many readers wishing each other Merry Christmas. I had to go to 3 stores to find a box of Christmas cards that actually said Merry Christmas. Holiday cards and Holiday trees. How times have changed. I have Jewish friends who don’t get offended when I wish them Merry Christmas; and I don’t get offended when they wish me Happy Hanukkah. Our society needs to lighten the fuck up.

    Merry Christmas to everyone. I hope you all have a fabulous time with your families and friends.

  12. Mama Via says:

    Merry Christmas to everyone! I wish each of you a glorious and beautiful CHRISTMAS filled with joy, love and happiness! I wanted to say thank you to each of you who have commented on my “rants” and have loved me inspite of my odd personality!

    I am home, back from my FUN with Dr Pain! I had a RFL procedure..(Radio Frequency something or other)…they basically burned the nerves in my spine, running down my legs so that I can walk. Oh fun!

    How LUCKY we are to live in this moment in time. Less than 100 years ago, penicillin was not available. Discovered in 1928, penicillin and other antibiotics were just not part of our daily lives! My great grandfather actually died due to getting a splinter in one of his fingers, which became infected!

    The Chicago Tribune said the first heart operation occurred at the trun of the century. “Medical textbooks of the time said that operating on a human heart was too dangerous, and there was no precedent for opening the chest. But “Dr. Dan,” despite having no X-rays, antibiotics, adequate anesthesia and other tools of modern surgery, stepped into that medical no-man’s-land.” The first “heart attack was diagnosed in 1912! AMAZING!

    Look back to how many times in your own life that you’ve takes some form of penicillin or antibiotic! I’d probably died several times by now! My dear sweet husband would not be here…he had his stroke/afib attack just 2 months before we got married! My son had his FIRST open heart surgery when he was 6 months old! (And 4 more after THAT!)

    Within my OWN life time, 60 year olds have changed from “dying of old age” to being vibrant “60 is the new 40” types who travel the world deep into their 80s!

    I lived with my great grandmother for part of my Senior year in high school. She was born in 1883…She would tell me WONDERFUL stories of what it was like when she was young…but, in her late 60s and early 70’s, she suffered the same eye diseases I have: cataracts and Fuch’s corneal dystrophy, and she was totally blind. Both cataract removal and corneal transplants were being done in the early 20th Century, but, her general health was fragil and sometimes what medical procedures are done in large cities like New York, Chicago and Los Angeles are not available to someone who has never left Okaloosa County. For HER going to ALBIA was a long trip! (25 miles) and going “all the way to Ottumwa” impossible! Grama Helma never learned to drive a “horseless carriage”…and her horse died in 1959, so she sold the carriage…she called the grocery store on the Square, and they would deliver her groceries, her doctor STILL made “house calls”.and her one and only daughter (my gramma) would come and take her on other errands as needed. In the years I knew her best, she was in her late 80s, the cataracts and the Fuch’s had robbed her completely of her vision, sadly, she wore a colostomy bag, and a nurse came in to care for her for an hour every day…and, of course, she was incontinent…(you know, that “old lady smell”)…even at 16…I prayed that I would never end up like that…I was and still am, very afraid of growing old, being alone and blind.

    In SPITE of her infirmities, she still quilted, crocheted, and used her loom to weave items…admittedly, they wouldn’t have won a blue ribbon at County Fair, but she didn’t just lay down and die! (Well, eventually she did!).

    Her parents arrived at Ellis Island in January, 1883. They got married as quick as a wink in New York. They had little to nothing, so with the little money they had, they WALKED to Iowa! On a GOOD day, they walked 15 miles. Some days, because of weather, Indians, or sickness, they might not move from camp. They traveled with other people, mostly Swiss and Swedish folks they had met on the ship from England to America. There were a few wagons and horses, but mostly everyone walked. They arrived in Okaloosa County in April and my great grandmother was born in July! She very rarely would tell anyone when her parents got married, because she was (obviously) conceived out of wedlock, and it shamed her. But, it was cheaper for 4 to 6 men or women to share a stateroom for the crossing than it was for a married couple to share a stateroom, so, they waited to get MARRIED in America…but they had the HONEYMOON during the trans Atlantic crossing!

    Personally, I would want to travel in better weather, but it was imperitave that they be in iowa in time for planting! Otherwise, without help of the COMMUNITY, they’d have starved. As a COMMUNITY, they pooled their resources and labor, and raised homes and barns. Together, they planted, plowed and sowed and reaped…they celebrated births and mourned deaths.

    Much as WE are a community. We are just like our ancestors, surviving each day because of the love and support we share. My prayers are for each of you…Kelly especially…her heart is too big for her body, and it needs an adjustment…the Lord answers prayer…just not the way you expect, or when you expect it…and remember, each of you are an answer to a prayer, you are the Lord’s hands, and do His work. Kindness is like throwing a pebble into the pond…it makes ripples…causes an effect that you may never know or understand. So, I’m praying that the Lord Bless each of you.

    Sending you love,

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Mama: I love you sister and I could not have said it better myself. I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow and we all have many more to come. Merry Christmas.

  13. Thanks for the great read, and take care over the holidays 🙂
    – Blogging at its best! –

    • Mama Via says:

      Merry Christmas, Debra! Thank you for the note…I assumed that there were others, like myself, coming here to see if anyone had stopped by…and left a note…have a wonderful evening!

  14. fillymj says:

    Merry Christmas to you. It has been a joy reading your blog & getting to know your story. What a remarkable, gifted woman. I am wishing you the very best , continued growth, improved health, & peace of mind. XXXOOO’s to you & your canine family.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Filly: Thank you so much. I think I will have all of that in spades in 2015. I hope you had a great Christmas.

Varmt News Network

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Just another site

Asleep in Left Field-My Life

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Out in left field

(Totally fictional) Drama Queen Stories


sometimes, there are monsters walking amongst us

Varmt News Network

It's the Internet.


Just another site

Asleep in Left Field-My Life

4 out of 5 Friends recommend this site

Out in left field

(Totally fictional) Drama Queen Stories


sometimes, there are monsters walking amongst us

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