Yes I’m Still Sick, So a Guest Blog From Mama Via.

January 20, 2015

OMFG just kill meeeeeeee. I HATE THIS FLU!! My Bedroom

Since I think this may be bubonic plague or ebola or  something, here is Mama Via and I’m going back to bed.  I love you all, but man this is a killer flu.


Why people with Borderline Personality Disorder are Fukkin Crazy and Why The AntiSocial Personality doesn’t Give a FUK!
The first degree I attempted was in “Anthropology”…but, after my dad died in an auto accident, I realized I needed to get an education in something a little more immediately lucrative…there weren’t many ads in the paper that read “Anthropologist Wanted”!  My second attempt at higher education was in “Childhood Education”…until I realized I would be nothing but a glorified babysitter to a bunch of someone else’s undisciplined brats…and the school had this crazy law that you couldn’t “beat some sense” into those little fukkers!  So, I changed to “Special Education”…during my “student teaching” stint, I was placed in a classroom with SEVERELY abused children, children with no shoes or socks, children with bruises, cuts and contusions, children who would wet their pants in fear every afternoon when it was time to go home, children with limps, lisps and stutters, children so traumatized they couldn’t or wouldn’t speak…after 13 weeks, I decided “special education” was not a viable career field for me!  So, my third attempt was to train as an Accountant…you must remember that this was all when a “computer” was only owned by the Government, were the size of a large warehouse, and the “operator” fed it punch cards…all so it could print out a spreadsheet!  In Accounting I, II and III, your handwriting made up 40% of your grade!  After I finished my degree and became a “contributing member of society”, I realized that although I was able to support my son and myself in my earnings, “Accounting” was too restrictive for my more “artistic” temperament, so I continued taking college classes…I worked in an Art degree and an Abnormal Psychology” degree. (I’ve always been drawn to Abnormal Psychology…ever since Igor gave Young Frankenstein “Abby somebody’s” brain…(Abby who?  Abby Normal, I think!  Yes, that’s it! Abby Normal!)) And then, my final degree was in “Architectural and Interior Design”.  The wonderful thing about being a professional student is that you become a bit of a “Jill-Of-All-Trades” and everyone wants you on their team during a game if Trivial Pursuit because of the wealth of “Useless Information” held between your ears! Because if my age, I am now able to attend the University of North Florida for FREE, as long as I don’t want to matriculate! (How was that, for a $10 word?)
So, without further ado, I now present:
BPD is ACTUALLY called “Emotional Unstable Personality Disorder” but it’s easier to say BPD than it is to remember EUPD, although, in Stabbikins case, EUPD is a better definition!
The essential features of EUPD is a “pattern of marked impulsivity and instability of affects, interpersonal relationships and self-image.” (is anyone but me hearing “jodi arias” in those words?)  Symptoms include (intense) fear of abandonment, intense anger and irritability which friends and family have difficulty understanding.  The person diagnosed with EUPD will often “engage in idealization and devaluation of others,, alternating between high positive regard and great disappointment.”  Other symptoms include: out of control emotions, unstable interpersonal relationships, impulsivity accompanied by depression, anger and anxiety, feeling stressed and severe dissociation.
Those suffering with this disorder have INTENSE emotions, both positive and negative. They are highly sensitive; slights are magnified, and overwhelming, they feel GRIEF instead of sadness, HUMILIATION instead of embarrassment, RAGE instead of annoyance, feel VICTIMIZED easily, and feel intense pain with the smallest criticism. Feelings of LOVE become deeper more quickly and persist LONG after a relationship has ended, but fear of abandonment (and need to control) keeps them from “letting go”. They can be exceptionally idealistic, positive, loving and happy, but they can very easily be quickly overwhelmed by negativity.  Rejection, isolation and perceived failure are feelings that always lurk behind every happiness, they suspect “betrayal” and actively look for “proof” of rejection. The word “PERCEIVED” is important with EUPD, this disorder is “all about how they PERCEIVE the world around them and how they PERCEIVE the actions of others.)
Folks with EUPD are extremely sensitive and feel intense joy and gratitude for the smallest act of kindness, and often interpret the kindness they are given as intense love.  Often they become “clinging vines”, and while they desire intimacy, their actions, the need to be in control is often off-putting.  They can quickly shift from extreme love to extreme hate after a disappointment, or a perceived loss of esteem in the eyes of the one they “adore”.  Like a roller-coaster, they can fly from idealizing  to demonizing the person they “love”, especially if they fear or perceive any type of rejection!  There are no “Greys” in their world, it’s black or white.  One extreme or the other.
Impulsive and self-defeating behavior is common with this disorder; substance/alcohol abuse, risky behavior such as unprotected sex, indiscriminate sex with strangers or a string of multiple partners, reckless spending, reckless driving, impulsively leaving a job and/or relationships and reckless confrontational behavior.
Out of control emotions
Unstable interpersonal relationships
Fear of abandonment/rejection
No clear identity
Difficulty in regulating their emotions, fear and anger
Difficulty concentrating, maintaining focus
Hostility toward Family Members
These individuals have difficulty in knowing who/what they are, and try to fill the feelings of emptiness and loss by adopting others values and beliefs.  They have no clear goals for relationships and careers, they “float” along.
Additionally, there are two “types”, I’m prone to accept the “impulsive type” for our princess:
F60.30 Impulsive type

At least three of the following must be present, one of which must be (2):

  1. marked tendency to act unexpectedly and without consideration of the consequences;
  2. marked tendency to engage in quarrelsome behavior and to have conflicts with others, especially when impulsive acts are thwarted or criticized;
  3. liability to outbursts of anger or violence, with inability to control the resulting behavioral explosions;
  4. difficulty in maintaining any course of action that offers no immediate reward;
  5. unstable and capricious (impulsive, whimsical) mood.
Additionally, there are four sub-types, so I believe “Petulant” applies as does “Impulsive”!
Negativistic, impatient, restless, stubborn, defiant. Sullen, pessimistic, resentful, easily slighted and quickly disillusioned.
Capricious, superficial, flighty, distract able, frenetic, seductive, fearing loss becomes agitated, gloomy and irritable.
Second, let’s review Anti-Social Personality Disorder (ASPD)
My first experience with ASPD was with my third (or was it my fourth) ex-husband and also with my fourth (or was it the fifth) ex-husband.  (I had a broken “man-picker” for a while…but, I diagnosed myself, and fixed it!)
At first, I thought that both of these men would have won awards for being the most Selfish, Self-Centered Men in the Universe, but, as it happened, they were both clinically ASPD.  (It’s easy to confuse, I guess)
But, let us just focus on #3/maybe 4.   The doctor explained it to me with four words.  “He has no conscience!” He exhibited a pervasive pattern of disregard and violation of the rights of others, he displayed an “impoverished’ moral sense, no conscience, a history of crime (he had been in prison, convicted of child molestation; he forced his best-friend’s 11 year old daughter to orally copulate while holding a knife at her throat….but, it wasn’t “his” fault…SHE made him do it!  And it wasn’t HIS fault that he lied to me…it was MY fault for finding out!….when I asked him “why didn’t you tell me this before? “Because I knew that if you knew, you wouldn’t date me…or marry me!”), a slew of legal problems, impulsive and aggressive behavior, including verbal, emotional and physical abuse.  (But, it wasn’t HIS fault…*I* made him do it!)
1.  Failure to conform to social norms in regard to lawful behaviors, repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest.
2.  Deception, repeatedly lying, use of aliases, conning or manipulating others for profit or pleasure.
3.  Failure to plan ahead, impulsivity
4.  Irritability and aggressive behavior, assaults, physical fights
5.  Reckless disregard for others, or self.  Risky behavior, no fear of consequences
6.  Irresponsibility, inconsistent behavior, failure to keep a job, failure to honor financial or personal obligations.  Failure to learn from negative consequences.
7.  Lack of remorse, indifference to actions, rationalizing actions after having hurt, mistreated or stolen from another
8.  Callous disregard for the feelings, wants and needs of others. Lack of empathy. Abusive behavior, abusive relationships.
9.  Irresponsibility, disregard for “rules” (rules don’t apply to them)
10. Inability to maintain relationships, yet has no difficulty in establishing them.  Sociopaths are “VERY charming”
11. Low tolerance to frustration, easily moved to aggression/violence.
12. Inability to feel guilt, cannot learn from experience, punishment means nothing.
13.  Blames others or rationalizes behavior
14.  Use “charm” or wit to manipulate others for personal gain, or sheer personal pleasure.
15.  Intense egocentrism, sense of superiority and exhibitionism
16.  Uses intimidation, dishonesty, misrepresentation to get his way.
17.  Cruelty to animals, bullying, explosive anger.
18.  Unnecessary risk-taking, living on “razors edge.

Although considered a lifelong disorder, some symptoms — particularly destructive and criminal behavior and the use of alcohol or drugs — may decrease over time, but it’s not clear whether this decrease is a result of aging or an increased awareness of the consequences of antisocial behavior.

Psychopathy is usually defined as a personality disorder characterized by antisocial behavior, an incapacity for remorse and poor behavioral controls.
MALEVOLENT: including Sadistic and Paranoid features:
Belligerent, mordant, rancorous, vicious, malignant, brutal, resentful, anticipates betrayal and punishment, desires revenge, callous, fearless, guiltless.
Feels intentionally denied and deprived, rapacious, begrudging, envious, seeks retribution, greedy, pleasure in taking more than having.
RISK-TAKING including Histrionic:
Dauntless, intrepid, bold, audacious, reckless, foolhardy, impulsive, unbalanced by hazard.
REPUTATION-DEFENDING including Narcissistic features:
Believes s/he’s infallible, invincible, indomitable, inviolate, intransigent when questioned, over active to slights.
There are ten subtypes listed (partially overlapping with the above) – covetous, risk-taking, malevolent, tyrannical, malignant, unprincipled, disingenuous, spineless, explosive, and abrasive, but the list of “10” is not necessarily comprehensive.

The following conditions commonly coexist with ASPD:

  • Sadistic personality disorder
  • Anxiety Disorder
  • Depressive disorder
  • Impulse control disorders
  • Substance-related disorders
  • Somatization disorder
  • Attention Deficit Disorder
  • borderline Personality Disorder
  • histrionic Personality disorder
  • Narcissistic Personality disorder.
There were four subtypes, referred to as “reactions”; antisocial, dyssocial, sexual and addiction. The antisocial reaction was said to include people who were “basically unsocialized””always in trouble” and not learning from it, maintaining “no loyalties”, selfish, irresponsible, frequently callous and lacking responsibility, with an ability to “rationalize” their behavior and an inability to feel “guilt”.  They are repeatedly in conflicts with society, and blame others.
These people are adept at “finding your weak spot” and “working you” (manipulation) until they get what they want.  They are adept at maneuvering their “victim” into a situation where all the control is in their hands.  In the case of my ex, I was coerced into allowing him “joint” rights on my checking/savings/retirement accounts…then, he blocked me from my own money.  As long as he controlled the money, he knew I had no way to leave!  (But I managed to leave anyway! But, it cost me a fortune to do so…but…THAT was only MONEY…what I KEPT was my self-respect and my freedom!)
I’m sure that as you read thru this, you were able to see Arias in the symptoms!  I know I did!  Unfortunately, psychopaths like Arias, look for people  just like Travis: an easy-going, laid-back gentleman, who will good-naturedly succumb to her demands for control…for a while anyway…but, there are several things a person with these disorders cannot accept: not being in control, rejection (they MUST get “even”)  and not getting what they want!  (In both of the psycho-relationships I was in, I “paid” for my “sins”…and with one of them, specifically, I truly felt that my life was in danger!) But, sometimes the better part of valor is being a yellow-bellied chicken!  Travis, being young, didn’t know what he was dealing with, didn’t realize that he needed to be almost as manipulative and deceitful as Arias is!
I learned in my first marriage that giving the impression that I couldn’t think my way out of a paper sack would save me a lot of pain, suffering and bruises!  Therefore, when dealing with numbers 3/maybe4 and 4/maybe 5, because they believed I was a “SPESHUL snowflake” instead of an intelligent woman, I survived the marriage/divorce a lot better than I would have otherwise.
And, for the life if me, I do not understand exactly why Arias didn’t do as millions if others have done…and just get pregnant to trap her man!  It would have saved serving “natural life” at Perryville, with Auntie Angela (Simpson) as a “Cellie”!
Have a great night everyone.
RBMD peacing the fuck out!

Varmt News Network

It's the Internet.


Just another site

Asleep in Left Field-My Life

4 out of 5 Friends recommend this site

Out in left field

(Totally fictional) Drama Queen Stories


sometimes, there are monsters walking amongst us