It’s 3 am, and I am somehow wide awake, with shreds of a dream so quickly fading that all I can recall is that I was talking to my sister.  In the few seconds that have passed, I’ve forgotten everything…what my sister & I talked about and exactly why my next thought was to grab my tablet and tell you about it.  I had a need to explain everything that flashed through my mind…I felt I needed to tell you right now…did my sister tell me the secret of “what is next”? Did she reveal “heaven” to me? Did I have a message to give you? 
I’ve had these dreams of “talking” to my sister before, but I can never recall what she says or what we did in my dream. Sometimes, I’m left with a great sense of “Peace”,  I feel very “loved” in the few minutes after waking.  And I almost always feel such a great sense of “loss” when my consciousness breaks the dream, I want to cry, and no matter how hard I try…I can never “go back to sleep”..(perhaps “go back to my dream” is a better phrase)  Anyway, it is impossible for me to return to the dream I was living in prior to whatever broke the spell.
*Comments on “Part One” were getting rather lengthy on the subject, and I wasn’t sure if we were all DONE talking about the subject yet, (so I decided to open Part Two!)
*Have you ever had dreams where you’ve conversed with a loved one?  Were you able to remember what was said, or is it like mine, where it is all gone within nano-seconds?  How did you feel afterward?
Hugs, and love to all!
Edit and repost: 5/31/2015
Here, I thought I had gotten away with my little 3 am posting, then the UN-posting of part 2 (when I discovered that Kelly had posted another blog while I was writing this one) but, I was found out…so I guess I didn’t cover my tracks well!  Kelly said there is “no problem” with having TWO posts on the same day, so after chatting about it, we decided that I could go ahead, re-edit the post and then repost it for you.  I’ve also added some new content to the original post.
Our Queen of Fuckery had a “date”….a VERY handsome, polite, well mannered younger gentleman asked Kelly for the pleasure of her company ALL day Sunday…I am waiting to get the scoop about Queen Kelly’s Beautiful Sunday (because in just reading the words she writes about her time with a Certain Young Gentleman makes my heart so VERY happy!)
I envy those of you who still have children at home!  The years after my son graduated from high school, (but before he joined the Navy) were so very special to me!  I was single, and my son and I shared a lot of fun times together!  After he got out of the Navy, we had some time again…and we took a few other cross country vacations, experienced some very hilarious adventures and made some wonderful memories together.  My Son is a mischievios, witty and playful man (less so, now that he is the “over 40” crowd) and we love to tell tall tales of our adventures together!  My son has taught me more about men,  and more about unconditional love than I expected I’d ever learn.  Any parent who believes that s/he is “all-knowing” needs to re-think the basis for their delusions!  (Learning to stop acting “parental” to your ADULT children allows for some amazing adult bonding. The time that I spent with my son is priceless…and I will always be grateful for the gifts he has shared with me…there is nothing more rare and precious than receiving someones “time and attention”.  (A special “thank you” to my son…who chose me to be his mom…and for giving me the most precious of gifts…you are my heart…and when this phase is over, I hope to see you again…in the next life…or in Nirvana..)
*MORE-  6/1/2015
*I know one person who could be a PERFECT match for our Inmate #281129…my ex-husband…the man LOOKS perfectly normal…more or less…well, actually, I believed that he was quite handsome when I was married to him…and actually, if I put away my “personal issues” with him, he still is VERY handsome.  (Warning:NEVER, EVER judge a book by its cover, covers are only “marketing tools”!  And be VERY VERY careful with any man who has a dimple on his chin…I’ve discovered that “dimple” is really something else; it is the FIRST sign that someone is a BUTT HEAD!). Despite being 75, he could EASILY pass for 50 or 55.  He is Hispanic, and has a beautiful combination of true “platinum silver” hair (with dark eyebrows) and beautiful tan skin.  It’s just not fair that he has so few wrinkles!  Perhaps that is due to having more natural oils and collegen than most of us Caucasians have…AND he has some amazing green/hazel eyes.  It’s really too bad that his multiple psychoses make it impossible to relate to him for an extended period of time!  
During the 10 years we were married, his actions provided such a wealth of comedic humor that I was never without a new routine about his latest activities.  He didn’t MEAN to funny, I think that between his actions and my “different” outlook on things, comedy just naturally ensued.  I suspect that he is an alien of some sort, probably abandoned by the crew of his spaceship because he was driving THEM crazy too!  (Actually, it’s possible that the aliens have been dumping crazy crew members here frequently for EONS!  Perhaps for Millennium!  It’s all rather like the English dumping their convicts in Australia….probably.60% because they COULD and 40% because there’s nothing anyone can do to stop them!)
* I have a JOURNAL (that makes me a “journalist” right?) somewhere around here that has page after page of the crazy stuff my Ex-husband did while we were married, but I can’t seem to lay hands on it….MAYBE I threw it away…but it had SUCH a wealth of  “Material” for a comedy routine, I rather doubt I tossed it.
An example:  He was the executor of his father’s estate; as the oldest son, following the customs of his culture, he was to receive the bulk of his father’s property.  Instead, his younger brothers walked away with the antique grandfather clock, which his grandfather had given his grandmother the day they married, the gold and silver jewelry, the rental properties, etc,ball of it… in exchange for the contents of between 100-150 Folgers coffee cans located in the garage.  The cans contained a hoard of washers, screws, nails, nuts, bolts and cotter pins.  He had this hoard delivered to OUR garage, then went and purchased 4 WALL size units of 1 inch by 3 inch by 5 inch drawers which he installed on the garage wall.  He had recently retired, so, after these cans were delivered, he began an 18 month process. Each day, the process was the same routine…the process began with pouring a solvent over the contents of one of the coffee cans, then setting it aside to begin the cleaning process.  He then chose the can he started the day before, poured off the solvent (to recycle and use again) and with a brass wire-brush cleaned each and every washer, screw, nail, nut, bolt or cotter pin (now shortened to WSNNBC) then, a nice rinse in clean water, and laid out in the sun to “air dry”….he then got the label-maker and made a label for each of those 1 x 3 x 5 drawers. He had purchased a huge ID sheet that had a drawing of each and every WSNNBC manufactured or sold in the USA, which he took to Kinkos and had laminated.  He placed this laminated sheet on his work bench, then, he sorted each item, comparing each WSNNBC to the “Master Sheet”.  
(By, the way, just to make something perfectly clear…his man lived in and owned (NOT with the bank, outright OWNED his own home, valued a just a little over 1 million, located in one of the nicer neighborhoods in Orange County, he owned (outright) 6 cars, (including a 59 Corvette convertible, 72 Corvette Stingray and a brand new 99 Corvette; a 5x Chevy Nomad (completely restored), a 7x Chevy El Camino, customized with “pearl paint” and “hydraulics” (for “jumping” and “LowRiding”..I never understood this, as he wasn’t a “low rider”, but it seemed to be a mandatory item for 70+ year old Hispanic males to own), a 1995 “Anniversary Edition Ford T-bird with 200k plus miles, which he was POSITIVE would be an “investment” because it will “someday” be a “classic”, and  2000 Toyota RAV4, which has never had an oil change and usually had bald tires (because “there’s still a few more miles left in them”) (at one point, before I bought my Z4, I was driving that car and THREAD was showing on both front tires…it was only when my son “cornered” him in the garage and threatened bodily injury to him “if anything happened” to me that he went and bought the cheapest tires he could find)  He also had several other cars that came and went over the years, but those 6 were always there…and no expense was spared for the customization of HIS cars.
Additionally, he had his original 1950 Schwinn Panther (the very same bike he received when he was 9 years old) professionally restored, and he paid more than $5600 for the restoration.  The bike “lived” in the living room, in front of the windows, so that anyone driving by would receive a blessing by just looking at it, I suppose…(yet, one day when I was at work, he put my great grandmothers spinning wheel into the recycle stuff (because it was “cluttering the house”)…and took it to the recycle station…no, I never found it, or got it back…) back to the WSNNBC story…
*Instead of perhaps grabbing a handful of washers (like you and I might do with coins) and sorting by the handful…he sorted each WSNNBC….comparing each individual WSNNBC to the Master Sheet, checking it to be sure it was clean, then, he either put it back into the solution for more cleaning or found or labeled the correct drawer.  EIGHTEEN MONTHS!!!  Monday thru Friday, 8:30 am to 4:30 pm with 30 minutes for lunch…sometimes he would work on his “project” on the weekends…then, at 5 pm EVERY weekday, he went to “the gym” to play handball for 2-4 hours….when he returned home, he resumed commandeering the satellite dish…(which he set to play what HE wanted to watch–on EVERY single TV in the house: the living room, dining room, kitchen, bedroom, both offices, guest room, garage, and, yes, 2 of the four bathrooms! He also added a TV at the Hot Tub and another out where he pretended he was a Ceramic Artist..out in a lean-to shed where his potters wheel was located outside.   Yes, we had 12 TVs!  And if HE wanted to watch “The 70s Show” EVERYONE watched “The 70s Show”…the COMMAND center also controlled the VHS/VCR…so, all day long…he controlled the TV& VCR…ONLYduring the  2-4 hours he spent playing handball was I able to watch what *I* wanted to watch. When I complained, saying we had no choice in programming,   “Yes’ you do,”  he said, I DID have a choice…””you can watch ANY TV program you desire…SOMEWHERE ELSE!”….. Al’s way or the highway….
After the WSNNBC PROGRAM was completed, he began obsessively playing “Solitare” on the computer….ALL DAY LONG….as an escape from his insanity, I enrolled in a college program…so, HE enrolled in a college program…I enrolled in an Architectural Design School, carrying 25-20 unit hours.  HE enrolled  in Advanced Ceramics, the SAME class was offered at SEVERAL of the local the junior colleges.  But, then when anyone asked ME how my classes were going, HE answered that his “Advanced Ceramics” class (which he had to get a waiver to take, because he was repeating the SAME advanced ceramic class (3 semesters per year, year after year)  He had attended that same class back in the 60s and 70s…and enrolled again in 1996…by the time we divorced, he had attended that class every semester for more than 8 YEARS!)   Of course, he never told anyone THAT, when someone asked ME what classes *I* was taking….he would take the question, and give a long (boring) lecture about ceramics, and “everything he was learning”…and went on to brag that he had “all As” in all of his classes at the 3 colleges he attended…..(I was told later that wherever we went, word was out to NOT bring up the words “school”, “college”, “ceramics” or “art” in front of my “significant other”…later, other words were added as he became self-proclaimed “expert” on wherever he went on vacation…so, Peru, China, Hawaii, England, Spain and France (where he once spent 24 hours) were “off limits” in conversations….
*Not long after I married him, I said to him “it’s funny (odd) that you’ve lived here in this same house since 1973, yet, you have no friends…all the friends we have are MY friends…why is that?  “Well” he said “I’m more SELECTIVE than you are about my friends.  NO one lives up to MY “high personal standards!”  I see….(how did I come to be attracted to this man?). I’ve come to the conclusion that a person with “no friends” usually has no friends for a reason…find out what that reason is!! (BEFORE you marry them!!)
*A final quick (I promise, quick) story….Al retired after more than 30 years with the County…and, admittedly, back in the 60s, it WAS tough for Latinos to get promotions up the ladder….some of the Caucasian County workers maintain that many of the “coconuts” (brown outside, white inside) got promotions due only to “affirmative action”…I don’t know, I wasn’t there….but, I know THIS…when he retired, as a “joke gift”, someone had a County street sign made for Al….it read: AL LASTNAME WAY. My son and I were at the party when it was given to him…everyone was laughing so hard!
Son and I gave each other “the look”…we understood the street sign…(the drunk behind us was laughing very hard…and he shouted the same thing Son and I were thinking:  “Al’s Way (or the highway)!”  
*Al never did realize that the “gift” was a purposeful slap in the face; “someone” or several “someones” at work had obviously been given the same message I had repeatedly received, “no, you don’t have to do it the way *I* want you to do it…you can go find another job!”….the very next day, he installed the sign hanging from the pergola over the patio…proclaiming his dictatorship over “all he surveyed”….that sign was a constant reminder, even when Al wasn’t home, “my way of the highway” every time I stepped outside, every time I looked out into the yard…He was SO proud of that signs he would point it out to every visitor to the house…even the insurance guy who stopped in to write up a rider on that Schwinn Panther displayed in the living room window…(which had now, miraculously, increased in value to $12,000!  What good is a $12,000 you cannot ride? Just asking!)   As the insurance salesman left, he said to Al “Did you notice that two of the tires on the RAV have cord showing thru?  You really SHOULD get them replaced, before you or your wife end up in an accident…..”
I could easily imagine someone beating some sense into Al…but, it would take a REALLY LONG BEATING!


  1. trez11 says:

    They say these dream a visits from your loved one letting you know they are alright and that they are with you each and every day.

  2. Twister says:

    Our Queen had a date with a nice gentleman? Yay! He better treat her right or he might have to face a pack of mad dogs!

  3. TrulyUSA says:

    Wow there’s a lot going on here, Mama! I rarely remember my dreams, so I guess they must be pretty boring. Also, “Al” sounds like a real dick! Glad you got away from him and found a nice gentleman. See Kelly? If me and Mama can find love and happiness in our late 50s after a few duds — you’ve got plenty of time to find the right one. Just let him know the pack will inspect carefully, of course!

    • Mama Via says:

      Yes, good old Al was a real piece of work…and proof to me that domestic violence doesn’t HAVE to be physical…it CAN be emotional and psychological!

      Finding my Prince Charming was one of the very best things I’ve ever been blessed with! Thank you…yes, one day our queen will find her Prince!

      • reallybigmeandog says:

        Mama, your queen is a complete moron when it comes to choosing men and have decided that since I have zero interest in the physical aspect of a relationship (AT ALL EVER) I’m good just having dogs. They give me all the emotional support I need and they don’t hit. Maybe someday I will make a friend that is a man but that is all it will ever be. And I am really okay with that.

      • Mama Via says:

        That’s okay, Miss Kelly! It will ALL be what it is supposed to be.

        My son says “it is what it is, Mom!”

        Speaking of my son…did I tell everyone that my GrandSon is turning into a GREAT football player? He is ALSO fixing to have his “First School Dance”…with a GIRL, and everything! My GrandSon also wants to buy a corsage for his “date”…(I think it’s WONDERFUL that he is not yet so jaded that he believes “all girls are alike”…cuz THIS girl is PERFECT! Oh, I forgot to ask if he checked to see if she had WINGS…CUZ Heaven must be missing an angel!)

        Hugs & love to all of you!

  4. Lori g says:

    Trez11- you are absolutely right, at least in my world. I used to see my dog and cats for a long time after passing. Almost daily I used to catch a glimpse out of the corner of my eye. My vet told me that she believes they are watching to make sure you’re ok. When they’re satisfied that all is well then they can pass over the rainbow bridge. I still see them checking in every once in a while. I really do believe this.

    • TrulyUSA says:

      I believe pets have a sixth sense. When my 13 year old lab “Sadie” got hit by a neighbor’s car we were so sad, she had been my son’s only dog, which I got for him when he was 3. We buried her ourselves in the back yard and that was no small feat for she was a 100 pound dog and I live on a rocky hillside. I worked my grief out digging that grave, with my son’s help and a pick axe, and twice he said “come here Mom” and I cried on his little shoulder a little bit. I decided the next dog would be one that needed help and a home, and I went to the shelter looking for a boxer mix, which was what my son wanted, and was told one had been turned away because they were full, but she kindly gave me the lady’s phone number and we called and went by to see her. She said she was a “pet channeler” and found this stray puppy but could not keep her. She said “I’ve got a name floating around in my mind, but I haven’t named her yet.” I asked what the name was, and she said “Sadie” – my son and I looked at each other and said — that was the name of our dog who just died! She said “okay, you’re the right one, she’s your dog”. We named her Passion and when we brought her home and set her down in the yard she immediately ran right over to Sadie’s grave and just sat there! Seriously! We thought maybe Sadie helped us find our next pet. However, there is not one strain of boxer in her that I can see, lol, but she is still with me and a GREAT dog!

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