The Really Big Mean Dog School Of Law Presents: If You’re Fucked And You Know It Plead Insanity

Hello Class, it’s me your law professor/Dean of fuckery/ queen of all I survey.  As you can see by the title, tonight’s class is on the insanity defense.

The insanity defense is always, ALWAYS used as a last resort.  We in the law profession (not really) call it the defense of last resort for a reason.  Unless you are a helmet wearing, window licking, roadkill kissing, dog fucking mess, it ain’t gonna work.  The defense just uses it because they are pretty much out of any other option. Well other then yup, he did it, throw him in with a couple of short eyes and lock the fuckin door.

The problem with the insanity defense as one of our astute readers pointed out is that we (the state) have to prove that he wasn’t insane AT THE TIME HE COMMITTED THE ATTROCITIES IN QUESTION.  His mental state now has little to no bearing unless of course he is displaying any of the above mentioned afflictions.

Before we get into the state of Mr. Jism’s mental capacity at the time, let us take a moment to question why there is no death penalty unless you happen to be a fuckin Boston Bomber.  Massachusetts saves the death penalty for acts of terrorism only.  I bet if somebody asked Colleen about terrorism before she died she’d vote for the fucking needle.

Anyway, getting back to Jism’s state of sanity at the time of the offense. He went to school armed with a box cutter, gloves, a ski mask and a change of clothing.   He is accused of attacking her in the restroom on the second floor of the high school at 3:30pm.  That time is important. It is important because most of the student body was gone.   He removed her body from the school in a recycling bin and dumped it out in the adjacent woods and disposed of the body. He took the time to rape her with a branch and then cover her with leaves and debris.  He robbed her of her cell phone, credit cards and panties.   He then went and saw a  movie and had some fast food for dinner.

Now, I don’t want to be a party pooper, but it seems to me that Jism went to school knowing full well that he was going to kill Colleen, he has the presence of mind to take extra clothes and get rid of his bloody ones, he covertly got her body out of the school in a recycling bin, her perpetuated more atrocities, he robbed her so he could presumably go to a movie and get some taco bell and he had the foresight to try and cover the body.

I don’t see any glass licking going on anywhere.  About the only part he fucked up in a well planned murder was he fucking got caught.  Therefore, I surmise this is just to kill three more weeks or so while his lawyers come up with the now patented his parents beat him with a wooden spoon and they did a lot of coke and shit while he was three or four.  I forget.

Class dismissed

RBMD peacing the fuck out.

24 Responses to The Really Big Mean Dog School Of Law Presents: If You’re Fucked And You Know It Plead Insanity

  1. Mama Via says:

    Hi, it’s MAMA!!

    I COULD google it…but I’m just going to throw together what I THINK I know…and then let y’all correct me…

    I THINK it’s called the MCNAUGHTON rule: a defenDANT is PRESUMED SANE at the time of his act, and HE has the burden to PROVE that his brain was such that he did NOT know RIGHT FROM WRONG (preponderance of the evidence) AT THE TIME OF THE CRIME! Less than 1% of defense cases plead insanity, and of those, few get very far! Lorena Bobbitt, John Hnkley and Andrea Yates all come to mind. The Aurora Theater killer TRIED insanity…but he screwed up in the same way most do…where the insanity cases go wrong is when the defendant starts “PLANNING” to get away with the crime…like DUH…, if you are trying “to get AWAY” with something…OBVIOUSLY you know whatever you did was WRONG…which invalidates MCNAUGHTON!

    Lorena, a true domestic abuse victim,(he admitted to mentally and physically battering her) after being raped by her husband…he told her that “whether we are divorced or separated, wherever you go, you cannot get away from me, I will hunt you down and have sex with you whenever I WANT!” (Emphasis mine) Lorena also had chronic depression and PTSD…that night, she had an “irresistible impulse” and severed his penis. She got in the car and drove of…letter, throwing the penis out her window. She called 911 and talked to the police. It too close to 10 hours to sew that fukkin thing back on…and later, Jonny “Wad” Bobbitt attempted to generate money from his renown by forming a band, The Severed Parts.
    In 1994, he was charged with striking Kristina Elliott, 21, a former exotic dancer he met while in Las Vegas on a publicity tour. He was convicted of battery and sentenced to 15 days in jail (75% of the original 60-day sentence was suspended). “I firmly believe you have an attitude problem,” justice of the peace William Jansen told Mr. Bobbitt. “Your attitude problem is caused by your drinking.”

    **1994, he appeared in the adult film John Wayne Bobbitt: Uncut.
    **1996, he appeared in another adult film, John Wayne Bobbitt’s Frankenpenis
    **He moved to Las Vegas, Nevada, where he worked as a bartender, limo driver, mover, pizza delivery driver, and tow truck operator. He also had a stint serving at a wedding chapel as a minister of a Universal Life Church.
    **1999 Bobbitt received probation for his role in theft at a store in Nevada.
    **2003 he was sentenced to prison for violating his probation for the 1999 theft
    **He was arrested on battery charges involving his then wife Joanna Ferrell. He was again twice arrested on charges of battery against Ferrel in 2004 and that same year he filed for divorce under the name John W. Ferrell, which he had been using during his marriage with Ferrell.
    **2014 he was severely injured and broke his neck in a vehicular accident in Buffalo, New York.
    He went on to marry two other women – a businesswoman in 2001 to whom he was wed for just 23 days, and a woman in 2002, whom he was also accused of assault.
    He also underwent “penis enlargement” cosmetic surgery!

    Also, the incident was quickly adapted/parodied as a low-budget feature film called Attack of the 5’2″ Women. In the 1999 film Fight Club, the character Tyler Durden comments that although the main character’s house has been blown up, “You know, man… it could be worse, a woman could cut off your penis while you’re sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car!!”

    As for Lorena…she has had a “partner” for the past 16 years, and 9 year old daughter. She said it took a lot of energy to pull herself away from the life filled with domestic abuse (she and Bobbitt divorced in 1995) but that she no longer see herself as a victim. She works in real estate in Virginia, and does a lot of charity work, including working with women’s shelters and delivering Easter and Christmas food baskets to the needy.

    she proudly says she wants her daughter to realize ‘Working together as a team we can help others!” She uses her maiden name for her job…but uses “Bobbitt” when doing charity work, because of the bane recognition!

    Good for you, Lorena! It is amazing that YOU have done more to give the Bobbitt name honor and respect than the guy who was Bobbittized!

  2. reallybigmeandog says:

    Where have you been Mama? Did you forget me? And yup it’s something like that. It was lazy lawschool tonight and I typo’d. Waiting to see who finds it. Bug says hey. He wanted to make sure you were okay. You are okay right? We miss you.

    • MamaVia says:

      How could I forget you?

      Meet the O’Sullys

      I have a life story for you this morning…back when dinosaurs roamed the earth…I fell in love and married a man from Abalama. His family was wonderfully loving and kind to me…his mom was a recent widow (one night his father was drunk and shot his wife in the head as she was sleeping…then got on the bed next to her and proceeded to blow his own brains against the wall…fortunately, he was a bad shot, and the bullet only grazed Mama’s head and she was smart enough to “play dead” for a while!) Mama was left with FIVE children to raise, the oldest, Jen, was 18 and had been married a small town cop (they had a 2-year old), next was John, (my future husband) a 17 year old in his senior year of high school, a 16 year old daughter, Jill, and the two youngest boys were 13, Josh and Jay, 11.

      Mama was only 34…maybe 35. When I heard her the first time on the phone, she sounded like Scarlette Ohara! When I met her…I was surprised…she didn’t LOOK like Scarlette! She was part Native American…black, black hair, high cheekbones, and black eyes that flashed and twinkled! During Mama’s 30’s and 40’s, she was tall (5 foot 11″!!) and thin…and all the men at the Wakley Hop (dancing and “set-ups”, you brought your own bottle) chased after her! I don’t blame her a bit for going to the Hop and going out on dates! She was a YOUNG woman, who had married early…to a wife-beater! She hadn’t ever finished high school…and it took me years to figure out that she never wrote me letters because she COULDNT! Of her five children, only John (my ex-husband) graduated high school. Mama worked at The Mill , one of the many manufacturers in Abalama who hired locals to do piecework. Mama spent years and years sewing the same bra hooks or straps onto the same bra…hour after hour…8-10 hours a day…5 days a week. Piecework employees didn’t get vacation, sick time, insurance, etc…they were paid as little as 5 cents per piece….the faster you worked, the more you earned…but raising 4 hungry teenagers was difficult! (Jen & Jill also worked at the mill when they got old enough!). I loved Mama A LOT…and she loved me, too…all her life….

      I was only 18 when I married John…a very NAIVE 18! That being said…Josh was “a handful” at 15 (going on 25) Mama sent him to live with us, believing John could “straighten him out”…Josh had dropped out of school…and because he couldn’t read or write, refused to go BACK to school! Josh was a sweetheart…John was 21, I was 20, and we had a new baby…Josh & my son became “best buddies” (and still are)…and Josh stepped in a few times when my husband started beating on me and choking me…and he stayed with us till just before he turned 18. Those three years brought about a great love between Josh and I…there were few things he wouldn’t do for me.

      Josh went home to visit Mama at one point…and met JoAnna…and decided he wanted to stay there, rather than continue living with us…both my son and I were heartbroken…son wanted “Unka Yosh” to tell him fish stories and fights between John and I were escalating…

      But…I was happy for Josh & JoAnne…they fit well together and both had hearts of GOLD! (She & my blood sister would have been best friends, they had similar interests: their families, children & church) JoAnne was born & raised in Abalama too, so was a perfect match for my son’s beloved uncle. Both are “salt of the earth” type folks…because if their lack of education, neither ever had more than just minimum wage jobs or piecework jobs at The Mill. Those poor folks, they’ve struggled through every year of their lives…yet, never lost their faith in God or in humanity. They are/were both the type of folks that may not have much, but would share anything they had with you if they thought your need was greater.

      When JOAnne was pregnant and in her mud-20s, she began developing headaches…and having hours of time she didn’t remember…After a LOT of tests, the doctors diagnosed a small brain tumor which was causing her to experience occasional seizures. She didn’t start medications right away…not until after the baby was born.

      JoAnne just took everything in stride…and she and Josh had almost 40 years of married life. I’ve never seen two people as loving and devoted to one another! About 15 years ago, Josh was involved in a factory accident which destroyed his lungs. Together, they have been facing that each day “could be his last” since the accident…so they were not prepared when JoAnne started having problems..

      She started having more confusion than usual, more headaches, she felt “wobbley”…Josh would ask “Do you love me?” “Yes” and 10 seconds later, ask the same question…and the answer wouldn’t have anything to do with the question…last month…she refused to get out of bed…refused to answer questions…it was as if she couldn’t understand the words anyone said. “Are you hungry?” “Pool!” (They don’t have a pool!). He didn’t know what she was saying.

      JoAnne would have turned 56 next month. She passed away in her sleep two and a half weeks ago. This has been very hard for my son…and, to some extent, me…JoAnne was a very religious person…so, I know that for her, she has gone to heaven…and has no more pain, confusion or seizures…Mama, my sister, my Gramma and her parents are there to greet her…and she can hold my Elijah in her arms…and comfort him…fifty-five is too young…and the world is missing one of God’s children…the world is a kinder and gentler place because of tru hearts like JoAnne and Josh…a Rolex wasn’t necessary…JoAnne was just as happy with a Timex from Wal-Mart…”They both tell the time, right?” she would say…they still drove that old Yugo that they purchased used..”on time payments!” (she was so proud that the “Buy Here, Pay Here” car lot had given them a loan! They probably paid $8000 for a car worth $3000…and there is a special place in hell for used car dealers (and predatory lenders) who suspect that someone can be taken advantage of…that karma always catches up with you!)

      So…between that…and some medical issues…I’ve been quiet…but, yes…I am ok…please keep Josh in your prayers…

      Love you all

      • reallybigmeandog says:

        Oh Mama. That is so sad, yet I’m so glad that she is finally at peace, but my heart for you and your son is very broken. I love you a ton and I would do anything to take some of your pain. I will pray for your friend and I would ask hat everyone here do the same because it sounds like she was an amazing person and because you asked us to do it.
        Please, email me and let me know what has been going on. Bug misses you and I’m pretty much just sad that we haven’t talked lately.
        Please be well Mama. You are such a wonderful person and I am so positive that your friend knew how much you cared.
        We love you.

      • TrulyUSA says:

        So sorry for your loss, Mama. Prayers for Josh and all of you, too

  3. sandymetter says:

    Here’s a new case for you to follow while we wait for the Justin Harris case and the McStays. xo

    Sent from my iPhone


    • reallybigmeandog says:

      SANDY!! Hai. How are you? Well I hope. Which case were you referring to? Let me know and I will take a look for sure.

  4. Gwen Bazzrea says:

    Hey y’all- checking in from depression-land. This sucks!!! Can we please have a free all inclusive trip to Tahiti for the RBMD no-kill shelter bitches? I know depression is biological, but damned if 30 days of frozen pina coladas wouldn’t help!
    Thanks for the lesson, Kelly and Momma. Looking forward to Jism getting his justice from a roving prison ass-raping gang. Think happy thoughts, right?!
    ~ Bazzethound

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Gwen. Oh hunny, I’m so sorry you are still dancing with the back dog. I hate that fucker. I would love a trip to Tahiti for everyone at the no kill shelter, I just think we are going to be holding it in our heads. As for me, I haven’t had a drink in a very long time (because I am one of those people that turns into an asshole if I drink enough) so virgin Pina Coladas for me.
      I am pretty excited about this trial, it is just getting the damned thing started. There are approximately 5 more motions that the defense could file that I can think of off hand to delay a little bit more. The justice system on both sides of our borders need overhauls in very big ways. I am looking very forward to this particular piece of excrement getting his just desserts. I hope he is convicted and I hope that his bunkmate is a pedophile with a 16 inch dick.

      • TrulyUSA says:

        Haha! Tell it like it is Kelly! Gwen, so sorry you are struggling — if I could afford to take us all to Tahiti I would in a second!

  5. Constance says:

    Your clarity is a true pleasure!!

    And right to the point, as usual.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Constance. Thank you so much. I believe that we are going to have a stabby level of theatrics on this case if we ever get to trial.

  6. Christine says:

    He was insane… That’s interesting. Was he also insane when he attacked another female in the exact same manner at the juvenile facility he’s housed at? Or will the court not let that little tidbit be mentioned at his trial?

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Christine. What is interesting is that they are even entertaining the idea of insanity when every single thing points to premeditation that we have been made aware of thus far. The state will make application to have the juvenile records unsealed but it is a crap shoot as to whether or not it will be allowed. They may decide it does more damage than it has use as probative value.

  7. Twister says:

    Is this the best blog in cyberville or what? Oh yeah!

  8. reallybigmeandog says:

    Hai Twister. Thank you so much. What a lovely compliment.

  9. malquid says:

    Nice write! I finally have WordPress squared away on mobile, so I’ll pay closer attention. Don’t feel bad grabbing me by the ear and saying.. Look!
    The insanity defense only works if you were not in control of your actions AND you were incapable of deciding right from wrong. I fee like this every day, but this guy has too much premed and post cover up. It’s a ridiculous notion designed to stall and keep the DL in the limelight. Can you imagine what a rainmaker this must be for all the little Baez’s running about with law degrees?

  10. reallybigmeandog says:

    Hai Malq. I’m glad you figured it out. I agree with your assessment, it is simply a time waster while they come up with a list of people they are going to throw under the bus.

  11. Newbie Doobie Doo says:

    hi kelly, i mostly lurk but i wanted to pipe up on this….mass doesn’t have the death penalty at all. acts of terrorism are a federal crime. that’s how the boston bomber got the dp but this jerkoff won’t.
    my two cents.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Thanks Newbie. I actually knew that I guess I just said it poorly but thank you for qualifying.

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Varmt News Network

It's the Internet.


Just another site

Asleep in Left Field-My Life

4 out of 5 Friends recommend this site

Out in left field

(Totally fictional) Drama Queen Stories


sometimes, there are monsters walking amongst us

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