The Really Big Mean Dog School Of Law: Terms You Will Need To Know

Good evening class.  Please settle in and take your seats as there are several terms we need to cover this session.  They WILL be on the exam.

We will start off with an easy one.

Kidnapping.  Now, when most of you think of kidnapping I am sure LIam Neesom and his particular set of skills pops into your head.  Kidnapping from a law perspective can be said grabbing and removing someone to another place right down to holding someone in a room that they do not wish to be in.  In Canada we call that forcible confinement but hey whatever, kidnapping sounds way cooler.

Charged:  Police, if they feel they have enough evidence will charge you with an offense.  This is not the end of the line.

Indicted:  Once you are charged, a grand jury is convened where the facts of the charges are put forth.  From the grand Jury you are either no billed which means you get to go back to killing cats in your backyard, or yes billed in which case you just became every so much more fucked than you were before you were indicted. Indictments include all the horrors of whatever crimes one has been indicted for.

Not Guilty Plea:  You feel like you might be able to convince a jury that you didn’t do it.

Guilty Plea  You know exactly how fucked you are and are hoping for leniency in return for not having a trial.

Aggravated Rape  An aggravated rape is an offense of rape that is committed under circumstances which render the offense more heinous. The severity of the crime may be increased because of factors such as age of the victim, blood relationship between the accused and the victim, the victim is aged, the offender is armed with a weapon,  The exact definition of the term varies from state to state and from nation to nation. An aggravated rape is different from a forcible rape. Rape which occurs during commission of specified crimes, such as assault and battery by means of dangerous weapon, constitutes aggravated rape, punishment will be harsher.

Insanity Defense: A defense asserted by an accused in a criminal prosecution to avoid liability for the commission of a crime because, at the time of the crime, the person did not appreciate the nature or quality or wrongfulness of the acts. Cuz totally preplanning the whole fucking thing totally shows that.  Just sayin’

Being Tried As An Adult: Since the early 1990s many states have adopted a “get tough” approach to juvenile justice as a response to the increasingly violent crimes committed by children. As of 2003 most states had adopted legislation that permits children as young as 14 to be tried as adults under circumstances of rape, torture, murder (oh look, Jism hit the trifecta). In some states, such as Indiana, South Dakota, and Vermont, children as young as 10 can be tried as adults.

Coercion:  What you start screaming the second you realize that all those cop shows that said you have the right to remain silent might have been saying it for a reason and giving a recorded and videotaped admission may have been a really bad idea.

Parental Unit  The one in the corner wringing their hands  and trying to explain that their precious little snowflakes loves soccer and soccer players don’t hurt people.  When that fails to garner attention they will often start yelling coercion.

There you have it class.  Please commit these to memory we will need them for the upcoming trial.

RBMD peacing the fuck out!

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10 Responses to The Really Big Mean Dog School Of Law: Terms You Will Need To Know

  1. TrulyUSA says:

    Can’t wait for this to get underway! Thanks Kelly!

  2. Constance says:

    It would be very interesting to find out the entire family history / extended parental unit for Jism.
    Dollars to doughnuts there is some serious dysfunction there.

    Acting out, be it physically, mentally and/or emotionally
    Avoidance of Responsibility
    Playing victim

    You may have already mentioned all of those before, Kelly.

    Behaviors done to him, repeatedly shown to him, and/or excuses made for them.
    Little snowflake learned this at home.

  3. Mama Via says:

    There are a few things that I hated as a child…but we’re good for me….like a healthy respect for …well, like other people…myself…and, especially “respect” for my parents…which really means that I was “afraid that they would LITERALLY FUCKKING KILL ME if I fuckked up in any FUCKKING way”…my sister & I actually had an extra heavy duty spatula on hand…so that after one if my parents let us know what they thought of our fuck-up…that the other one could take said spatula, and scrape us off the wall… Off the floor…or off the ceiling…depending on the extent of our parent’s wrath…there were times that I found my ass “kicked into next week” and had to wait a good seven days for my sister to catch up with “next week”…and wait for my dad to turn his head, so he wouldn’t see her scraping my ass off the linoleum…(I’ve also suffered the indignity of having my mouth washed out with Tide and Lava Soap)

    Now, I’ll gave it known that I am only 5’2″…and, until I hit mental-pause, never weighed more than 130 pounds (and I was 9 months pregnant at the time). After my son was out of diapers, I NEVER hit my son. It seemed that just “talking” to him was sufficient….

    That being said…I asked Son once..”Hey, son…how come you turned out to be such a good kid?” He said…”Mom, I always was afraid you were going to kill me….you never lost your temper, and I was afraid that one day…I might push you that far!” (Fear is a good thing, when it us tempered with love and consistency!)

    This poor child was never truly LOVED. When you love your child, you will teach him lessons, you will give him attention, you will teach him right & wrong. No, it isn’t easy…and every one of you parents KNOWS that. And you cannot wait until they are 14 to begin teaching them…it MUST begin the minute that they are old enough to understand. When they are TWO…and you tell them “do not touch the things on the coffee table”….and they touch it ANYWAY…(and look at you, just DARING you to do something). You do NOT move the item, so they cannot touch it…YOU SPANK THEIR HAND!! You do not give empty threats- “if you don’t put these toys away, I’m going to throw them away!”….and then end up picking up they toys yourself…proving you are just a big windbag…and don’t mean what you say….you throw the toys in the garbage! (Ok, just to prove I’m not cruel, I let him get his toys back out…but…I NEVER had to say “pick up your toys or ELSE!” Again!! You don’t tell them not to LIE….and then call into work “sick” when you aren’t….you don’t tell them not to steal…and then bring home office supplies from work…it is HARD being a parent…you cannot tell a child that something is wrong…and then laugh…(like: “it’s not nice to be disrespectful!”….and then tell EVERYONE how little Johnny said “fuck you” to your stepmother!)

    Kids…(and adults) will try to get away with as much as they can; they will push boundaries. We ALL do it! We ALL test limits! The speed limit is 65…do you drive 70? Sure…until you get a ticket…and, then, fir a few years, you drive the speed limit…until you forget about those accumulated points….

    A parent cannot, just all of a sudden, when the kid turns seven or 8, pull out the wooden spoon when he us TWO, AND apply IT to that big fat diaper when they are two, convince them you mean what you say, give consequences for actions and be consistent…and you won’t have a child pushing limits to see if he can get away with raping/killing his teacher when he us 14….

    IN A WAY…I feel sorry for the kid…that he felt he HAD to take this action to get parental attention…sadly, HE is the only one who will have to endure the true consequences of his own actions…I would like to know if that special little snowflakes mother is just as responsible! Kids who received no parenting are now having children they cannot parent!

    • Constance says:

      Very well said, Mama, very well said.

      • Mama Via says:

        Sorry it reads so poorly…my fingers weren’t going as fast as my brain was…and I didn’t have enough coffee in me…my outrage was working…but my rant-fingers weren’t!

        I’m coming to the conclusion that special little snowflakes like Twat Mom, inmate 281129, Jism and many others were just not given any attention…good or bad…until long after a wooden fukkin spoon was of absolutely no fukkin use!

        As a young child, there were TWO things that would break my widdle heart…1) was having to sit on the stool next to the stove until the timer went “ding” and the second, which I never was able to get over…was when Gramma would say “Via, Via, Via….I am VERY disappointed in your actions!” (Oh, please, Gramma, can’t you just beat me instead? PLEASE don’t be DISAPPOINTED!). My dad & stepmother’s beatings only made me angry…sometimes for better (i.e: I would accomplish what they said I was too stupid/lazy/ugly/disorganized to finish) and sometimes WORSE (i.e: I learned how to HIDE what I was doing (or lie about it) because I knew that I would receive the same punishment, whether I told the truth or lied…and, actually, I discovered that not telling the truth, or telling partial truths, that I had a 50/50 chance of getting away with it…but telling 100% truth won me 100% punishment!)

        I convinced my son to always tell me the truth when I asked him questions…I rewarded TRUTH…that never got him out of the LECTURE, of course…(or my DISAPPOINTMENT in his actions!)…but, I never gave him reason to lie, there was no benefit….He also HATED playing “20 Questions” with me…(like: How does a college student flunk a class called Introductory Golf? Do you believe that flunking Golf was your best decision? What actions can you take next semester to NOT flunk golf? Would you like me to go to Golf class with you next semester to be sure you don’t get “lost” again? Now, if YOU worked all day at Arby’s, and paid for ME to go play golf…how would YOU feel if I decided to “sleep in”?…..until he got sick of the questions and said “OK, MOM, I GET THE PICTURE!!!”

        Parents have to actually CARE enough to know what is going on with their child. And, sadly, many parents (even 2-parent families) are just TOO BUSY or TOO TIRED to care about anything but their own little world…or they get “tired” of dealing with their children always pushing boundaries!

        An outrageous example…I deal with Boo all damned day…it FEELS like all I get done some days is “walk Boo”, “water Boo” and “feed Boo”…all day long…when papa comes home…all Boo wants to do, is play with Papa…papa, take me for a walk….papa, play fetch with me….papa, pet me….papa, give me a treat….and all Papa wants, is to be left alone to drink his martini and watch a little bit of TV…kids are the same way…they want attention…and, unlike the dog…(who you can lock up in the crate for a few hours, if he is naughty)….the kid is going to INSURE he gets attention….even if it is BAD ATTENTION!!

        When the Twat Moms parents DEMANDED that Twat Mom “be responsible” for the child she gave birth to…and “refused to babysit” anymore….she began lying about working….and when they demanded that she take the kid with her? She employed “Zanny the Nanny”…I.e. Xanax. (Too little, too late.)

        When 281129’s parents got busy with the younger (and cuter) (and not as troublesome) babies….and didn’t give false praise about her “art”…when they didn’t give a flying flip about where she spent the night…and with whom….along came the parade of misanthropes, losers and low-lifes….and the only thing her parents ever taught her was “don’t TALK about issues….SNOOP!” 281129 learned that the only way to “get attention” or to “get love” was by spreading her legs….her parents never helped her find something within herself that was valuable…her opinion wasn’t valuable, her art wasn’t valuable, her wants, needs and desires had no value…as a result, 281129 never learned to live without a man…and couldn’t be “abandoned”….if abandonment threatened…she either reversed it or did the abandoning (by finding a replacement or “killing” the relationship!). She never learned sex is not LOVE.

        Jism seems to be in this same thought process…I’m going to do what I want…and to hell with the consequences!

        Children need “yes” as much as they need “no”…a steady diet of only one or the other is not healthy….they need to learn to motivate themselves, work for the things they desire…they need to have the two things no amount of money can buy…self-esteem and a parent’s time…you cannot LOVE a child too much…but THINGS don’t equal love…the most precious items in the world don’t have a price tag.

  4. Gwen Bazzrea says:

    I’m gonna repost my comment from last time, because I posted late, nobody replied, and I’m a complete attention whore. I’m gonna paraphrase since my Kindle only copies text to spite me, never when I want it to.


    I think we need to reinstate the old witches test for Jism’s insanity conundrum. Can’t remember where I heard of it- Bugs Bunny cartoon, Monte Python movie, or history class.
    No matter. Here it is:

    1. Throw Jism with bound feet and hands into a pond.
    2. If he survives, he’s a witch/insane- burn him at the stake at once.
    3. If he drowns, he was a mortal/sane. Apologize to the mother & pat yourselves on the back for freeing up the psychiatrists and the court’s time.

    Yep. Problem solved using a little cartoon/movie/historical/Southern know-how. You’re welcome.

    ~ Gwen, a.k.a. Bazzethound

  5. Constance says:

    Have to say in this case it is a good solution

  6. Gwen Bazzrea says:

    Thanks y’all. My inner attention whore is satisfied.

    For now. 👏💖👏💖
    ~ bazzethound 🐕

  7. Constance says:

    Jism was just ruled competent.

    Ha-ha, his little melodramatic lying games didn’t work!

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Varmt News Network

It's the Internet.


Just another site

Asleep in Left Field-My Life

4 out of 5 Friends recommend this site

Out in left field

(Totally fictional) Drama Queen Stories


sometimes, there are monsters walking amongst us

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