Mama Speaks-A Story of Four Women

November 1, 2015

Mama’s Rant

The Story of Four Women

First…I’m not a republican and I’m not a democrat.  I am, perhaps like a lot of you, a bit of each…I’m worried about our country, I’m worried about our families, and I’m worried that some idiot will push the red button and send the only form of (supposedly) intelligent life into oblivion.  It seems that the older I get, the more frightened I am of “What is our world coming to?”

My issue with Republicans:  While saying that they want “less government”….they try to dictate what a woman does with her own womb!  OK, I get that you “value life”…I do too.  But, I don’t believe that Government belongs anywhere near my (old, tired) Vag!  Just a question…how many men (or women) are currently on Death Row because they grew up in homes where they were not wanted?  No one can force a woman to love a child. She, and only she, knows whether she is ready, willing and able to not only give birth to that child, but to devote the rest of her life to another human.  

Personally, I’ve never had an abortion….I’m glad that I was never in the position to HAVE to make that decision.  During my life, I’ve witnessed one woman die because she refused to terminate a pregnancy; I’ve witnessed the mental and emotional carnage that the pregnancy and later, the deaths of mother and child, brought about.  

I’ve witnessed the birth of a child born blind, deaf and mentally handicapped.  That child is now 19, weighs barely 75 pounds and is virtually a vegetable.  Doctors have “brought her back from the brink of death” more times than anyone can remember.  She is loved, and valued by her parents and family.  The doctors said that she would never live beyond age 5….the fact that she has survived as long as she has , speaks volumes about the dedication and love that child’s family give her,

Yet another child, a result of incest, was born with Downs Syndrome, and numerous health issues.  The three years that the Creator gave to that child, and his mother, were magical and precious years for her, and my heart aches for both mother and child.  

These three women are/were super-human heroes in my eyes.  I’m not sure that I could have endured all that they endured, yet, knowing all three women intimately, I konow that it would have been even more difficult for them (emotionally) to terminate their pregnancies.  I thank the Creator for never putting me in the situation that these three women were in.  I’m not sure which one was more heroic…the one whose pregnancy physically killed her….or the two, who struggled each day to give their children’s lives meaning, in spite of the sacrifices they’ve made.  (There, but by the grace of God, go I.)

No one would have been able to tell any of these three women what the right answer was for THEM.  The choices that they made, the choices that thousands of women, who did not feel that they were able to sacrifice their lives, cannot and should not be made by a bunch of bureaucrats!  The women I told you about; my sister, my daughter in law and my cousin, each knew that if their decision had been different than it was, knew that  no matter what their decision, I supported them fully and completely.

Now, the story of the fourth woman, one who has throughout her life acted irresponsibly.  In fact, it was her irresponsibility, her failure to actually come out of her drug induced stupor long enough to go fill her “pill” prescription which would have prevented the pregnancy in the first place.  She talked about going to terminate the pregnancy….but she either “never got around to it”, or “never had the money to pay for it”.  (Yet, she always had enough money to buy drugs!  Yes, while she was pregnant!). The child is ten now.  His name is “Sebastian”…she’s called him “Se Bastard” since his birth.  The child has always known that he is an “imposition” to her–on her time and the things she wants to do.  The only “relief” and “joy” that child felt were the days when she took him to her “baby daddy’s” mother’s house and “dumped” him there. He knows his Grandmother loves him.

Sebastian has 10 other siblings.  None of the 11 children have the same two parents. Almost two years ago, Sebastian’s Grandmother called Social Services.  His mother was living with 4 of her children, in a bedroom at her “friends” home, and spent her evenings smoking crack in the bedroom while the children were sleeping.  All of her children were born addicted…and they stayed high while in their mother’s “care”.  But…there is some good news……

Grandmother (who one of my cousins) has just recently finalized adoption papers, and has adopted three of the children that the mother claims are the result of a “hook up” with my cousin’s son.  It took several months to get those children “clean”…they were all “high” when the police removed them from the home. From the moment my cousin took custody of those children, they’ve received love and tender discipline.  They have been in weekly therapy sessions, have received special help and tutoring in school.  My cousin is only a few years younger than I am…and at close to 60, she should be “enjoying life” and not raising a second family.  The night my cousin became a “Mom” again, she took in three children: Sebastian was 8, his younger brother was 4 and their little sister was only 6 months old.  The (biological) mother makes no effort to see the children….the court gave her over three years to provide social services a “clean” urinalysis, and she was unable to do that even once.  Even KNOWING her children would be removed from her home could not motivate her to change or to get help!  She told the Grandmother that the only thing she really missed about SeBastard was that her AFDC (Aid For Dependent Children) check used to be “a lot more money”…and then attempted to use guilt and pity on the Grandmother for give her money.  She said that it was reasonable to expect the Grandmother to pay her for “letting” Grandmother adopt her kids!!! (I’m VERY proud of the progress the children are making while living with their Grandmother!

While I realize that none of these stories comes close to being “beaten with a wooden spoon” or “pushed into a door frame” and “knocked unconscious”…(I’m being facetious!)  

The first three women, my sister, cousin and daughter in law would have done anything in the world to have healthy, happy children….children who were able to touch our world, and make our country. Better place…and they were denied that opportunity to raise the children they desired so much……..

The woman who was given so many heathy children didn’t want or need any of them…thank the Creator for providing loving Grandmothers!  Those two little boys and little girl now have a chance.  I hope that you will send a prayer in thanks for your own children and the blessings they bring…and send a small prayer for that loving Grandmother who is sacrificing her “retirement” in the hope that those three little drug-affected children will grow up to change our world for the better….that one day they will have children who will make their Grandmother so very proud!  (No Jism here!)

**An update since I first wrote this.  Sebastian is now 10. His brother 6 and his sister 3.  The boys are in school now, and “Little Sister” is in “pre-school” several afternoons each week.  Sebastian has been in counseling, and is making progress.  He was a very angry little boy, but, he is “making better choices” Grandmother says.  Please keep her and the children in your prayers.  The children gave far to go…and Grandmother could use some strength! Also, please say a prayer for all the unwanted children that don’t have a Grandmother in their lives.   Thank you!

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