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Philip Chism Is Found Sane To The Shock Of Nobody Anywhere

November 4, 2015

Way to rack up those billable hours legal aid!

Hai everyone.  It is me, your Dean of Fuckery/Law Professor/Doctor of Doctoring/honorary DVM/resident sarcasm expert/researcher extraordinaire and Queen of all I survey.

Today in totally not news budding psychopath Philip Jism was found sane and able to stand trial.  Jury selection resumes and we should hopefully have opening statements between the 15 and 20th of this month.

In yet another shot at racking up some more coin the legal aid team brought a couple of motions.  First was for totally a Judge to reverse his decision not to change venue because it was the anniversary time of Colleen’s death.  Second they had a bitch fest about trial start date because their expert may not be available. (as a side note, why does every single defense team in the history of ever try this one?)  Oh yeah, billable hours. Third, Nurmi’s lost twin sister has objected several times now ( like 5 by my count) to the states expert witness, so I cannot wait to see this expert witness.

Since I was waiting for someone with a functioning frontal lobe to say to themselves “Hmmm, he took a box cutter, gloves, a change of clothes, slashed her to death, washed up, changed clothes, stole her credit card, dragged her to where he tossed her like garbage in a recycling bin, and raped her with a tree branch.  Seems to me the boy put more than a little for thought into this.”  And then  stamp a big red SANE stamp across his file I decided to do a little more research into our latest special little snowflake.

Turns out the Jizz isn’t just some garden variety killer. Philip could be is a psychopath. Now, I know we can’t classify him as one till after he turns 18 because the psychiatric community frowns on that; so let me tell you about young Jizm. Turns out that they had only been in the community a few months because they had to move. They marriage was not the hippy peace and love thing that Mom of stabby I mean Jism, sorry got confused for a second, is peddling to the news. They were violent, he says she was, she says he was the cops say they both were. That however is not why they moved. They moved because young Jism as it turns out liked to light cats on fire, or beat them to death with rocks. Apparently once enough cats had gone missing someone caught him and they were basically run out of town.

Have you all heard of the dark net? I don’t suggest you ever go there without a barf bucket and your psychiatrist on speed dial, but you can find out all manner of things there. Juvenile records, old psych reports, and assorted things that I won’t get into. Anyway, turns out Jizzy was also a bed wetter until he was almost 10. He was basically unsupervised, watched a shit ton of online porn and was by all accounts a loner. Probably because most people don’t enjoy the hobby of burning cats. Put that all together and you got yourself one psychopath on the rise and my guess is, that is EXACTLY what the prosecution expert is going to say.

Legal Aid is no doubt doing the happy sad mad dance right now. Happy because payday, mad because they didn’t get their way, sad because they know they are going to lose. Meh, sucks to be them.

That’s it for tonight
RBMD peacing the fuck out

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