Welcome To The Machine: The Jian Ghomeshi Trial

I have noticed a disturbing trend that seems to be a by-product of having become a global village via the internet. Gossip, innuendo, stealing of other people’s erroneous posts, and just making shit up seems to have replaced actually reporting news. Actual news. We are to blame for that. Does anyone know how to fact check anymore? Is it shoved to the side so you can get out a piece of news before the rest of the world does? Do journalistic ethics no longer exist? Now, I am a satirist, and even so I like to make sure of what I am saying before I say it. If I have made an error, I retract it as you all know from a couple of my older blogs. The news is supposed to be as devoid of personal opinion as you can make it, and represent the facts and you are supposed to go in having no opinion and let the information take you where it will. If something in the article is your opinion you state that it is only your opinion. There are of course obvious exceptions, like when the person has admitted they did it but claimed self defense when they have stabbed someone in the back, front, and across their necks, or when they are going for a not responsible plea, things of that nature. You should not pick a side based on how many clicks you are going to get, or pick fights when somebody might disagree with you. There are simply way too many people who claim to be journalists who nod their heads, smile and write about it regardless of how much truth there might be in what they are writing.

This is what brings me to the case of Jian Ghomeshi. Jian Ghomeshi was the host of a very popular program called Q. He was also in a band called Moxy Fruvous in his younger years, in my opinion a really sucky band, but they had a following in Toronto so obviously some people found them good. Jian Ghomeshi stands accused of four counts of sexual assault and one count of overcoming resistance by choking. For those of you that don’t know this is the definition of overcoming resistance (a)246. Every one who, with intent to enable or assist himself or another person to commit an indictable offence(a) attempts, by any means, to choke, suffocate or strangle another person, or by any means calculated to choke, suffocate or strangle, attempts to render another person insensible, unconscious or incapable of resistance, or(b) administers or causes to be administered to any person, or attempts to administer to any person, or causes or attempts to cause any person to take a stupefying or overpowering drug, matter or thing, is guilty of an indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for life. (source: Penal codes and penalties Canada.)

Jian has already gone through one trial, the trial of public opinion and he has been found guilty. Guilty is the gut reaction to sexual assault allegations. Unfortunately, once we got into the actual trial, it turned out things were not quite as simple as the prick is guilty.

Sexual assault is one of the most under reported crimes that exist. It is under reported due to embarrassment, because people fear having to confront their attacker, because they fear they will not be believed and because they fear they will be blamed. I agree that there needs to be some kind of reform on how sexual assault victims are treated on the witness stand and some changes have been made. The flip side of that is that the person making accusations has to be questioned sometimes hard because there is a chance that they are lying. How many people get on the stand and swear to tell the truth and don’t. I could not find stats on that. I found an article from 2011 in the McGill Law Review stating that the reason that those committing perjury are very rarely charged is because quite frankly the system would be completely overloaded. With that knowledge it comes as no surprise that both the crown and the defense work hard to get the actual truth from those on the stand as opposed to the truth that the person up there is stating.

Jian Ghomeshi is a LOT of things and most of them are not flattering. He is a misogynist, he is a narcissist, he seems to truly dislike women, he is a braggart, he flaunts his fame, and he thinks he is better than everyone else. I have a source who was in university with him and she says that he has always been this way and it was well known. He also, unfortunately for him has had his sexual preferences put out on the table for the whole world to see. It is not against the law to be into rough sex as long as your partner is like minded and in this day and age of 50 shades of grey, it isn’t even a big deal anymore.

The case should have been open and closed according to everyone who saw the charges before the case went to trial. “He is a sexual deviant who needs to be put away forever” I remember reading on twitter. As a victim of spousal rape, that was truthfully my first thought too. I’m sure it was with every single person who has ever been sexually assaulted. There is this thing however called due process of law, and Jian Ghomeshi is as entitled to it as anyone else. Unfortunately in the era of the internet, that no longer seems to be a concern.

The trial started and as soon as the defense began to cross examine the first witness I knew something was wrong. Now, from personal experience I can tell you that I remember in brilliant techni-color every single second of what happened that night. It never waivers, nothing gets added or taken away, I remember it all. It was what you could call a pivotal moment in my life. Every other victim I have talked to says the same thing. They would give anything to be able to forget any of it. So when accuser number one suddenly was wearing hair extensions and then wasn’t I began to wonder. Then there was the fact that after the alleged assault she continued to pursue him. After attending a third taping of his show she decided that going to the house of the guy that had already attacked her was a good idea. They kissed on the couch and then stood up and continued kissing and he pulled her hair again, allegedly so hard she went down to her knees and he punched her in the head hard enough to make her ears ring. She started to cry so Ghomeshi asked her to leave and called her a cab. She said she felt he threw her out like trash. Under cross by Ms. Henein many of the inconsistencies began to come out. She was also questioned about media interviews she gave prior to going to the police in which she either denied flat out or refused to comment on whether she was kissing Ghomeshi during the alleged first incident. When Henein asked the witness directly whether she had lied her cryptic answer was “that is how it is with memories, the longer you sit with a memory the clearer it becomes.” (Really? Like seriously really?) Then, despite saying she wanted no contact with Ghomeshi after the alleged incident at his house, she sent emails one of which included a bikini shot. When asked about these her best answer was they were bait to get him to talk to her about what happened at his house. This answer makes about as much sense as because briefcase taco.

Lucy Decoutere of Trailerpark Boy fame testified that when they went back to Ghomeshi’s house he slapped her without warning and choked her until she couldn’t breathe. On cross, Ghomeshi’s lawyer presented Decoutere with a six page letter that Lucy sent only days after the alleged assault. The Last line of the six page letter was “I love your hands”. Not something someone who has been choked until they couldn’t breathe would likely write. Unless of course she had consented to him doing it. She also told him she would love to fuck his brains out, sent him flowers and many other texts and emails of a flirtatious nature that spanned over a two year period. To me personally, it looks a lot like Lucy was trying to pursue a romantic relationship with Ghomeshi and got spurned.

The third witness turned out to be the biggest problem for me and likely for the crown. She told police after her assault she was sure to only see Ghomeshi in public places. (she is also in the entertainment industry)She failed to disclose to the police that she not only invited him to her house, but that she gave him a hand job while he was there. She said on the stand that she was too embarrassed to tell them.

Here is the part that gets really interesting. Witness three and Lucy are friends. These friends exchanged over 5000 messages, an average of 15 per day. Originally witness three stated that they did not talk about the upcoming trial at all until the defense pulled out all 5000 of them. In the messages they talked about their mutual dislike of Ghomeshi and how they hoped bad things would happen to him. DeCoutere disclosed to her friend a long discussion with the crown and the questions they had asked. She suggested witness 3 contact her civil attorney and publicist. The messages are filled with talks of “our team”. Decoutere had a facebook conversation with the witness 11 days before the witness spoke to police in which she agreed to corroborate decouteres evidence.

So, what does this all boil down to? Jian Ghomeshi is worth in the mid seven figures. Decoutere is worth five hundred thousand, Ghomeshi is very, very famous in Canada, Decoutere not so much and I have no idea about the other two because of the publication ban. Decoutere was obviously trying to pursue a relationship with him and hand-job Sally may have been as well. Decoutere suggested witness three contact her CIVIL attorney so I’d bet the farm that there is a civil lawsuit coming.

My take from all of this is complicated. I believe that for the most part Ghomeshi probably did slap and pull hair and maybe even choked Decoutere (although I truly believe there was consent for that one) That being said, once these women continued to pursue Ghomeshi it negated whatever he did and it is not like he raped them, he smacked them and pulled their hair. I believe that being aware of Jian’s proclivities and when they were spurned they got together and decided a little payback may be in order. However this comes out I guess they got what they wanted because his career is over, the man is a pariah.

Here is some advice for anyone who finds themselves in an abusive
relationship. If it is the first date and someone smacks you and pulls your hair, walk the fuck away. How attached can you be after one fucking date where you get hit? Don’t text, don’t email, and don’t send pictures of yourself in a bikini. If it is a long term relationship document everything. Tell your friends, take pictures of injuries, tell the doctor what really happened. Call a crisis hotline. Make sure there is a paper trail. Pictures are worth a thousand words, trust me, and so are doctors notes.

For those of you out there who purport to be journalists, do your fucking jobs. There are journalists that are above reproach, Dave Ericson, Troy Hayden, Rosie Barton, the journalists of the CBC, David Lohr. Thank you for doing your jobs, and doing them well. For the rest of you, if you are a journalist you don’t sensationalize, you fact check several times, in a few words, you are not the fucking national enquirer.
That’s it for tonight everybody.

RBMD Peacing the fuck out.
Square Donate Button

28 Responses to Welcome To The Machine: The Jian Ghomeshi Trial

  1. renaes24 says:

    Good reporting Kelly, Very succinct and tight.
    I guess now we wait for the Judge to release his verdict in March.
    I understand that Jiam has another trial coming up (on another count or two). I have no idea of how strong or weak that complainant is…..but it will be interesting to see if the Crown either does better prep of it’s witness or if they will pull the charges.
    In either case, Ghomeshi’s lawyer is awesome and is worth every (pretty) penny he is paying. It is worth noting that this lawyer did NOT refer to any of the victims’ past sexual history nor their dress nor how they acted leading up to the events. She simply drilled down on the contradictions , inconsistencies, and omissions. She did NOT disparage the victims…..they did that to themselves.

    • Lacey says:

      They certainly did ! Did they really think that all the e mails, facebook posts etc would not come out? The Crown also bears some responsibility on this, should have vetted the witnesses, instead they have egg on their faces

      • reallybigmeandog says:

        they made the crown look like idiots. They were in such a hurry to prove that in Canada famous people are treated the same as the rest of us that they didn’t do their due diligence.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      I agree Renae. the problem is now the lawyer is also going to be vilified for defending him. And yes, the complainants did do it to themselves. Decoutere was obviously after a relationship with him either to try and boost her “career” or because of his net worth or because of his status as a famous person. I predict there are going to be civil suits not matter what the outcome of the trial is.

  2. Mama Via says:

    WOW…great job! This is one of the very best you’ve ever written!

    Damn…I wrote such a great comment…then fukking fell asleep while writing it…i will be back again in a bit…with another comment…even better….

  3. Lacey says:

    Hey Kelly, spot on..This trial was a disaster from the start. The witnesses had 0 credibility..kind of reminds me of JA claiming abuse.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Lacey. Thank you, I’m really glad you enjoyed it. That is funny, that was my exact thought, it is like Stabby trying to convince everyone she was abused. Zero credibility for sure.

      • Lacey says:

        On a side note..Juan Martinez is on Dr. Phil today..his book is being released tomorrow..

      • Mama Via says:

        Lacey:The book isn’t worth the $$!!

      • renaes24 says:

        And here I thought I was the only one who thought the book was a waste! (waited and waited for it/read it/ wondered ‘why did I wait’?)
        I actually got more out of Nurmi’s book. At least it had things I didn’t know.
        Perhaps it is only that Juan’s was over-hyped.

  4. Karen says:

    Ghomeshi is no longer the guy who pissed off Billy Bob Thornton. Oh no, he’s progressed into the POS that slapped and choked and likes rough sex. Oh dear, the world has come to its demise.
    I understand he isn’t a very likeable guy, not a ladies man. But what does one do when they come across someone you don’t like? Anyone care to Answer? I’ll give you a free clue, you stay away from them, you avoid them. But that’s just my opinion. You don’t chase and make come on comments like OMG baby your hands do it for me.
    What’s sad here is that this guy is now ruined. So what about the rough foreplay, like you said it’s a 50’shades of grey world now. Whatever floats your boat. These ladies have now made it difficult for anyone out there NOT wanting to cry wolf, actual victims of violence. A man should not lay a hand on a woman, no not at all. Was it consensual? I’m not convinced but regardless they did seem to,forgive him. Hence the lovely photos sent to him after the fact.
    The emails etc. They brought it on themselves and unfortunately made themselves look bad.
    As Our beloved Juan Martinez said “with the truth you ain’t gotta remember nothing”.
    I wonder what it is he did to them that made them and to ruin his life. got any takes on that Kelly?

    • Mama Via says:

      That’s right, Karen! The truth is easy…backward forward and sideways…nothing difficult…although…I don’t remember much of the molestation I endured…that was 57 years ago, and, thankfully, the memories have faded..,I don’t remember much about the gang rape I endured either…but, I DO remember that I didn’t want to be palsey-walsey with any of those fukkers after the fact!

      One of the major reasons that NO ONE believed inmate 281129s lies about her supposed “abuse” at the hands of Travis Alexander was because NONE of us who had TRULY been abused by a boyfriend or spouse would EVER dream of moving so close to the man who abused us…no matter how “charming” or “convincing” his pleas, we wouldn’t DREAM of driving a thousand miles out of the way just to “please” him!

      Back in 1986, I mentioned to my “then-husband” that we hadn’t been “intimate” in a long time, and I “missed that”…later that day, he threw me down on the bed and raped me. To this day, I remember how hard he pulled my hair…and that he crushed my fingers so hard that my gold ring was bent out of shape so badly that I had to have the ring cut off….we were divorced not long after that…and I haven’t seen him since then.

      Just a quick question for all of you that have been on the same road…if you didn’t know that inmate 281129 “designed” that “Survivor” t-shirt…would you actually BUY it and then WEAR it?
      (Just how much effort does it take to select a white t-shirt and select purple letters spelling out “survivor”, any way? So much for that hard job of “designing” that t-shirt!!)

      I don’t know that I would actually spend money on something like that…and, I probably wouldn’t actually WEAR it and ADVERTISE that I had been victimized. Besides, I’m much more proud of the fact that I graduated “with Honors” and as Salutatorian of my college class…THAT was my OWN effort…something I EARNED thru my own effort!

      Back in the 60s and 70s, it was very common for girls not to report what is now called “date rape”…or ANY rape, whatsoever…because people tended to “blame the victim” back then…was she wearing a skirt above her knees? Was she showing her navel? My dad said “well, everyone knows a girl can run faster with her skirt up than a man can with his pants down..” Oh, haha…and when I called him and told him my husband had beaten me…his response was “Well, what did you do to deserve it?”

      I’m glad that those days are over…40-50 years ago, if you were raped or beaten or abused in some way…it was somehow something YOU DID to CAUSE the man to “lose control”…such bull hockey!!

      In fact, it wasn’t until 1986 that the Supreme Court defined sexual harassment, and not until 1991 (after Anita Hill/Clarence Thomas) that a boss demanding sex from a female employee and threatening her with losing her job if she did not comply….was actually ruled to be ILLEGAL!!!

      I cannot tell you how many times some jerk of a boss would paw at me, “accidentally” rub himself on me…and in one case, actually exposed himself to me and made a suggestion as to how I could “help him” during my lunch hour! (I declined the offer, and went home forever during my lunch hour instead…afraid of what my volatile young husband might do to that horney old man if I told him what had happened…or the jeweler who offered me a matching diamond earring and necklace set…in lieu of a raise, if I “took care of his rise”…

      For the next 27 years of my working life…I rarely wore dresses…and NEVER wore makeup to work…and when that was brought up in my job reviews, I would ask him if he had hired me to “look pretty” or to “work”? I didn’t WANT to “look pretty”…it only causes problems…

      You are right, Karen…you don’t chase after them, you avoid them…you don’t make flirty comments or tell them how beautiful/sexy/wonderful their hands are…you just don’t….

      And, again…right…that it’s now harder for someone truly abused, raped, etc. to get help and justice from the system…especially from a DA who has just been helped to look like a fool…you can bet that he won’t help another woman without some STRICT due diligence!!!

    • renaes24 says:

      I think Jiam just ignored and spurned these women. THIS was their revenge. I can’t say about the 2 unnamed complainants, but Lucy all but stalked the man. She HAD been (accent on HAD) a fourth-rate actress on a third-rate sitcom and was/is not in any demand that I can see so she might have also thought this would bring her back into the limelight to revive her ‘career’. (But that is just my opinion).

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hello Karen. Exactly my point. If you are on a first date with some asshat that acts like that you simply go in the opposite direction. You certainly do not text, email, write hand written letters, send flowers, send bikini shots etc. As to whether it was consensual, witnesses one and three I honestly don’t think so but Lucy, someone who writes I love your hands and I want to fuck your brains out, I’d say she was well aware prior to the act. All these women have done is set back those who really do need to report by about 30 years. I cannot believe in this day and age that people still do not understand that the internet is FOREVER. If you dig far enough you can find it and if you are on trial for sexual assault et al your lawyer is going to dig, get court orders and find whatever it is.
      I think that they all felt spurned and once Lucy hit the media trail to try and ruin him the rest jumped on. Here are these women, two in the entertainment business, at least one of them with next to no career and along comes Jian, a superstar in his field, worth almost seven million dollars, and wielding a lot of power. Intoxicating to some people. So when things didn’t go their way they got together and decided to ruin him IN MY OPINION.

  5. Lacey says:

    There are a couplw of interesting articles on the Globe & Mail site

  6. Mama Via says:

    So sorry…I wrote an excellent comment at 2 am…then fell asleep in the middle of writing it…and it flipping disappeared…that’s what I’m get for using a tablet…instead of a laptop…imagine falling asleep with a desktop on your chest! Haha
    Seriously, now….

    There are several topics that need to be addressed…firstly…kelly, this is one of the BEST posts you have ever written! You are so talented…you are able to write hilarious articles from “The In-House Psychic” (oh, how I miss her!), satire on criminals, judges and attorneys….and now, a pure journalistic article that would certainly make your University Journalism Professor so proud (and earn you a “A++” grade!). You’ve surpassed even the best of your best!

    Secondly….throughout my life, I’ve maintained membership in the professional organizations related to my career. These organizations seek to inform both the public and its members everything about the profession they support; from introduction of new products, new procedures, new legislation, case studies, rule changes, expectations, standards and, most importantly, ethics.

    For journalists, the professional support organization is the Society of Professional Journalists. http://www.spj.org/ethicscode.asp
    “Members of the Society of Professional Journalists believe that public enlightenment is the forerunner of justice and the foundation of democracy. Ethical journalism strives to ensure the free exchange of information that is accurate, fair and thorough. An ethical journalist acts with integrity.” They maintain that there are 4 principles for professional journalists: 1) Seek Truth and Report it. 2) Minimize Harm 3) Act Independently 4) Be Accountable and Transparent.

    Not once in the thirty plus years I’ve spent attending colleges and Universities, did I EVER attend an upper-level journalism class. My one and only “journalistic endeavor” was as Founder and Editor of my High School Newsletter from 1969-1972.

    Our “faculty sponsor” was a fascinating woman who worked her way through college and grad school as a freelance journalist. I never learned exactly what “crime against humanity” Mrs L committed that got her sent to the lower reaches of StinkWater, Iowa (pop 600 +/-) as punishment, but she was very strict about proof-reading your work and quadruple fact-checking! (She wouldn’t let me report that Teddy Cochran had a crush on Cindy Hoffmeister based only on my “women’s intuition”, she wanted “facts” to PROVE my suspicion!) (At what age does one develop “women’s intuition? “Mrs L didn’t seem to think that it developed as early as 16!!) It was she that impressed upon me that what I wrote could have an effect on others, that “gossip” shouldn’t be confused with “news”….and that “news” doesn’t have an “opinion”.

    Back then, before my brains turned to mush…even an “opinion” article had to pass thru an editor’s hands before it EVER saw the light of day! Back then, there were ONLY books (fiction or nonfiction), magazines (a mixture of both) and newspapers (non-fiction, except the National Inquirer, et al). And, believe it or not, some people actually STILL have the Daily News delivered every morning!

    “The Internet” has both pros and cons…old people, like my DH consult it at night, while watching ME TV, to ascertain if “Gilligan”, “the Captain, too”…”the millionaire, and his wife…the movie star, the professor, and MaryAnne” are all still alive, and just where IS “Gilligan’s Isle” anyway?……which means he lost the entire episode…so that when it re-runs again in a month…he won’t remember that Wrongway Feldman’s plane was called “Spirit of the Bronx”…and we will have to watch the whole episode over again! (What is it with men and their love of the 3 Stooges and Gilligan’s Island?). I’m not sure if that’s a pro or a con…it just “is”…

    A major problem with the Internet is that anyone can write whatever (inane) ideas or opinions they desire, and aren’t held to the high ethical standards that the majority of (professional) journalists, bloggers and reporters adhere to. But even THAT statement has issues…the common interpretation of “professional” is that “you are paid a WAGE to produce a service”….(kinda like the difference between a slut and a whore…the true definition is that the whore is paid for services rendered)

    Let’s pretend you buy the domain name “International Inquirer”–intlinquirer.com–let’s further pretend that you buy a huge server…and then set up “affiliates” and sell advertising to companies who provide goods or services. Contracts vary, each defining how payments are paid, some based on “unique visits” and/or commissions ….perhaps your next step would be acquire “content”, the least expensive way would be to round up anyone who is able to write a (mostly) legible sentence…you might then teach them “meatball journalism”–how to write a headline, an introductory paragraph, how to “cut and paste” from another web source and how to end the article with: “What do YOU think?” to encourage comments. Then, finally, how to “tag” the hell out of it.

    Like this:
    INTRO: If you hate Valentine’s Day, you aren’t alone! Lots of folks share the same feeling!
    CUT’N’PASTE 1: Love stinks. – J. Geils Band
    CUT’N’PASTE 2: I hate myself for lovin you — Joan Jett
    CUT’N’PASTE 3: These boots are made for walkin — Nancy Sinatra
    CLOSE: Lots of couples are married on this romantic day, and some divorced! What do you think about Valentine’s Day? Love it? Hate it? Leave a comment below.
    TAGS: love, hate, Nancy Sinatra, Joan Jett, J.Geils Band, poetry, songs, lyrics, Valentine’s, stinks. boots, walkin, walking, lonely, marriage, divorce, romance, anti-romance, couples

    Then, suppose you are able to charge the advertiser…let’s say $1 per click and 30 to 70% (really!) of the customer’s purchase. To fully monitize your investment, you pay your content writer as little as possible. Perhaps as little as $1 for 100 to 500 UNIQUE clicks and $1 to $10 for 250 posted comments. You collect a good wage from advertisers…and have a slave labor force made up of a plethora of wannabe reporters, unemployed/unemployable journalists, housewives, mommies, people on house arrest, computer geeks, Internet addicts, lonely grandmothers, unhappy wives on the verge of divorce and people who collect and eat roadkill.

    You “hire” writers as either “freelance” or “Contract Labor”, and pay them as little as $20-40 for a 500 word post. They aren’t “cream of the crop” journalists or reporters. By calling them “freelance” or “contract labor” you have absolutely NO responsibility for what they write, or for the content they post. (The majority of bloggers take responsibility for the content that is posted on their blogs, not only the articles, but for the comments as well; to do otherwise, means certain “death” to their blog.) But because your writers are being paid by the number of unique visits and/or the number of comments, controversial topics and even more controversial comments are the goal, more traffic means more money. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with “responsible and ethical journalism”. So, here is the conundrum: all of a sudden, with all of the unemployed “responsible & ethical” writers and journalists looking for work, an astounding number of “content producers” are “working for” you, and as such, with no qualifications, no formal education, no formal training as to the journalistic standards and ethics…you’ve produced a group of “professional journalists” who seem to think that ethics and scruples are available at K-Mart on aisle 9. It is this type of “journalist”, writer, content provider that has caused millions of Americans to say “you can’t believe everything you read on the Internet!” In fact, there is very little available on the Internet which is believable! GIGO-Garbage in, Garbage Out! (Case in point, my credit report states that I once lived in a state that I’ve never even visited, as well as living in California, at an address I’ve never heard of, while simultaneously living here in Florida. No amount of logic will convince them to correct the record, so, according to TransUnion, it IS possible to be in two places at the same time!)

    Bottom line, the websites providing “news” may not be what they appear to be. They might be only a site that focuses on advertising and greed. There is nothing altruistic about them. The content you read might not be truthful, in fact, you might not even be reading what the individual writer knows to be honest and true; it’s what s/he was told to write or written only to get attention, only to urge people into making a comment. Some of these “bloggers” who are paid on the “click” ot “comments” basis are really nothing more than Troll Bloggers, they don’t care about truth, ethics or responsibility…they want to inflame…to draw attention to themselves. Often, they have a “pocket mouse” in charge of picking fights, of posting even more inflammatory comments…so that the troll blogger can always deny responsibility by saying “oh, I didn’t say that, Pocket Mouse said that!” But, you and everyone else knows that the Troll and Pocket Mouse are thick as thieves…each posting in the comments of the other’s blogs…taking the Troll/Pocket Mouse role as needed, depending on which blog you find them. It’s a classic “good cop/bad cop” routine…but in this case, the entire motivation is to stir readers into posting and starting a “word riot”.

    Our progress with computers is only in the early years….unless the apocalypse happens, you won’t recognize what the world will be like in 10-20 years…so, be careful in your postings, and especially your “sext” messages…there is no promise that your great grandchildren won’t find your digital trail of crumbs….be open to change as it happens, and most of all be honest with yourself and others. Be the best you can be each and every day…don’t allow the trolls to trick you into angry statements, and when they do, retract and apologize…after all, we are only human…make decisions with both eyes open…and don’t believe everything you see on the Internet…

    Most of all…remember that liars, trolls and those with black hearts will receive all that they deserve…even if you aren’t around to see it…karmic justice cannot be denied!

    Love to all…

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      wow Mama, so you had your first by-line in 1969? How old were you? You should put that in your cv, apparently highschool news reporting is an EPIC boost to ones career. In all seriousness, thank you so much for your constant encouragement. I could not do this without you. Also, I’d just like to point out that if I can simultaneously be everywhere, two places at once isn’t really a stretch.

  7. Twister says:

    Mama and Kelly, I’m just so darn sorry that you endured rape 😞. And from your husbands who you trusted with your whole being. We humans can be so damn cruel. Maybe that’s why I love animals, no deception there. My former friend revealed to me (and her husband) several years into our friendship why she couldn’t have kids. Her stepfather raped her after school for years. As an adult, she could hardly function between 3-6p. The hours after school and when her mom got home, the abuse hours. She became pregnant from him at 16 and went by herself for an abortion that left her unable to conceive. We were the first people she told, well into her 30’s. I say former friend because after 3 attempts, she overdosed and died alone with in a hotel room. I still miss her. I think her 2 dogs were her real friends. Love you guys!💔
    Your post was awesome Kelly. You are such an intelligent and authentic writer.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Awww my Twister, don’t be sorry, it has made us much stronger people. It was horrifying at the time, but it was definitely what I needed to finally say enough. I’m so sorry about your friends. That is why I love animals too. They are loving, protective, they don’t judge and they take you exactly as you are.
      Thank you for your kind words about my post. I know I speak for us all when I say we love you back. Mightily. have a great night my friend.

      • Mama Via says:

        True…it has made us stronger…you know..there are people in this world that truly know nothing about domination, especially sexual domination. And, I tell you this…I’m glad that there are people like that in the world! Wouldn’t it be wonderful if none of us knew about rape or violence? That it had never touched our loved ones?

        My DH is one of those people so blessed. Beneath his curmudgeonly looking exterior, a marshmallow thrives. No one would ever guess that my old grumpy man would spend hours looking for a trio of hamsters singing Valentine love songs alà Barry White to surprise me!…my DH is truly one of a kind…last night I shared with him a few examples of how petty and cruel an alcoholic parent can be…he was appalled that a parent could do that…I’ve shared a few other “minor” things…he always acts the same way…as if the cruelty in the world is too much to bear…I don’t want him to “love me” or treat me “different” because of the trials I’ve faced..but to love me for who I am now…I don’t want sympathy..or pity…even if the “issues” of my younger life COULD be “fixed”…(you can’t “fix” the past, it is what it is!)..I wouldn’t WANT anything different…I am who I am today because of all the things that helped to make me who I am today. (And I basically LIKE who I am today!)

        All of THAT being said…I’ve shared things with all of you in the hope and desire to help anyone with similar issues…to assure you that you aren’t alone…that like me, you can overcome the pain of the past, and find a new life…new happiness, and live that life full of hope, love and understanding…we don’t need to punish ourselves with the crimes of others.

        Sharing the molestations and rapes with my DH has no positive aspect. There’s no reason to introduce the ugliness of all of it to someone who’s life has never been affected by it. It would only cause him to pity me…

        In sharing these things…I hope that I can erase the “guilt” so many victims carry. Just like when I told my dad…and he said “what did you do to deserve it?” When even our loved ones blame us…it’s difficult not to blame yourself, too.

  8. dgordon243 says:

    I couldn’t agree with you more!! I was just thinking yesterday, that the reporters need to review all the tapes of Walter Concrite, so they can learn was a real journalist is! It’s like watching a quickly slapped together Inquirer!! They don’t have all the facts, or only the ones that fit their view of it, they’re rude & apology on page 12, if you’re lucky. The Jian Ghomeshi trial reminds me of the Claus von Bulow case. The accused is very well-known, has lots of money, is very successful and a victim of judgmental journalists. In the Ghomeshi trial there is also sexual deviance and 3 women scorned! Sounds like a bad movie! I read about the first witness on the stand & shook my head. I must say though, Jian’s lawyer is brilliant! Very professional, did her homework & gets the witness to disgrace themselves. My only concern is he will face a civil trial. I think once you’ve been exonerated in a Criminal Court, you shouldn’t have to face a second trial in another Court. To me, in my very humble opinion, that’s double jeopardy, where very greedy people get lots of money when the trial is over, whether the defendant is found guilty or not. To hold another trial, especially at a lower standard, is a conflict of interest and dismisses the findings of the criminal court, which implies the Judge and/or jury was wrong and that the system of justice is not respected. No one should benefit financially from the issue at hand.

  9. TrulyUSA says:

    I miss real journalism so much! I wanted to be a journalist when I was young, thinking they were the Champions of Truth, Justice and the American Way! **sigh** I’ve lived too long…..Thanks for the article Kelly, it was great and now I’m into this trial! I agree he should be named and shamed but I don’t think this will pass the smell test.

Varmt News Network

It's the Internet.


Just another WordPress.com site

Asleep in Left Field-My Life

4 out of 5 Friends recommend this WordPress.com site

Out in left field

(Totally fictional) Drama Queen Stories


sometimes, there are monsters walking amongst us

Varmt News Network

It's the Internet.


Just another WordPress.com site

Asleep in Left Field-My Life

4 out of 5 Friends recommend this WordPress.com site

Out in left field

(Totally fictional) Drama Queen Stories


sometimes, there are monsters walking amongst us

%d bloggers like this: