My Comment is SO Long, it Morphed to a Rant

March 28, 2016

Mama here…I need to update everyone…

The “good news” first?
Well, the foundation was poured during the second week of March.  This photo is looking from the front of the house toward the back yard.  I just LOVE that view!!  The man in blue in the back area on the right side, is working in my new “Studio”.

Then, we went to visit LAST week…and the rough framing was up, the trusses installed and the electrician putting in the wiring, the plumber was plumbing and the HVAC fellow was doing his thing…this is looking into my studio from the covered patio.  There will be a French door in the middle, flanked by two windows.
This is inside my studio…it measures 18 X 15.  The Windows all look out onto the pines in the nature preserve…the builder says that there will be no homes or buildings behind our home….just 160 feet of trees….
It wasn’t until I saw the roof go on that I realized just how HUGE our house is!  It is 4485 square feet.  This is the covered patio;  the pool will be located just past the edge of the house, out where you can see some trashed wood siding boards.  The studio is to the right and the master suite is to the left (the French doors to the master suite are here, under the covered patio…the studio French doors are up just to the right of that support beam. And not in the covered patio.  As a reference to size, this has a 12 foot ceiling!
More on the house later…….
Item 2– I am seeing a doctor tomorrow; they suspect that I have Lupus.  Five weeks ago, I started lyrica–I felt great the first two weeks, but then I started retaining water–the soles of my feet were so swollen, I could not walk!  My fingers looked like fat sausages and my hoo-hoos no longer fit in my hoo-hoo holder!!  I was a giant water bag!  My brains were also swollen…I couldn’t recall a lot of my vocabulary…I’ve been fighting depression (see my post on Kelly’s last blog post). All of my joints are swollen and won’t work in the morning…getting old is not for pussys!
Item 3-  I’m so sick of hearing Trump’s voice, I’ve been trying to get Inmate 281129 to go visit him for some midnight 3-hole wondering!! (I SWEAR officer, he BACKED into my knife 38 times!  REALLY!!!)
Item 4-  The never-ending story of the DIL who just won’t die….you remember “Jenny”…my son’s sometimes ex-wife…she was the one that wanted to get married so bad…and then, once married, she wanted an “open-marriage”…then ran off with some guy because he wore a “MAGNUM” size condom and he was “rich” because he made 40K a year and had a “double wide” trailer….then…she got pregnant with guy #3, who doesn’t pay child support to ANY of the OTHER THREE baby-mamas…and he “can’t work” because if he does, the state will take his money for back child support???  Remember her?  Guy 3 beat the hell out of her…so she called my son to “come SAVE her”…he did…against his better judgment, and two weeks later, he came home from work to discover that Jenny had moved Guy 3 into my son’s home…and Son was supporting her, Guy 3 and their baby…until guy 3 beat her one night, he ended up in jail…and I called social services because she was drinking every night, staying stoned all day…and she would let that baby cry for HOURS (he was only a month old!) because she was “too tired” to get up and change his diaper…social services gave her a drug test, which she failed…so, she took the baby, and ran home to her mama…remember all that?
Well, Jenny the dip shit has problems again…back in 2007, I bought a French bulldog…then, I had back surgery, and couldn’t take care of it…well, Jenny BEGGED me to give her that dog…so, I gave the dog to my son…but, when Jenny “ran away” she took the dog with her.  Well, she was as attentive to the dog as she is to her baby…when I quit paying the vet bills for the dog (why should I?  She was living with Guy 2 and Guy 3, not my son!!)..she quit taking the dog to the vet!  She did some “do it yourself” surgery on the dogs ear…feeds him Walmart dog food in spite of the poor thing having allergic reactions to it…and just generally ignores the poor thing and it’s health problems…she never got a dog license, never got the micro-chip changed to her phone & address…nothing…
I got a call last night that the dog “ran off”…she left him outside all night because she “forgot” he was outside…and she wanted my help to find the dog because I’m “so good” at finding lost dogs…you would all be so proud of me…I told her “sorry, it’s not my problem”
I called French Bulldog Rescue…explained the situation…and asked them to return the dog to me, or to find him a good home up there.
Please say a prayer for that poor neglected dog…that he finds a home where he is loved…and treated right.  

Depression Is Fucking Depressing

March 23, 2016

Hi everybody.  Since by now some of you probably think I died, I thought | better drag my ass over to the computer and write something.

I have not been writing simply because right now I’m not funny, not “up”, not amusing.  I have had a major setback mentally which I won’t get into other than to say it happened and I am trying with the help of my invisible psychiatrist to deal with it.

I truly feel totally alone right now and sometimes fervently desire to go to sleep and not wake up.  And then I think of my son and my dogs and decide that is really a shitty thing to think and then I feel guilty for having such a selfish thought.

I also feel like I have somehow let the lot of you down as well as myself even though I cannot help the way I feel.  I just do not feel anything but all encompassing blackness right now.

I am working on it, and I will be back as soon as I am able to be my affable self again.  I’m so sorry for any emails I have not returned or thank you not given.   I just don’t have the energy, I can’t concentrate and I sleep while bug is at school.

I’d say I’m not having a pity party, but I suppose I kind of am so there is that.  Hopefully the meds start to work soon and I will be back.

I miss you all, but I am no good to anyone at the moment.


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