Hi everybody. Since by now some of you probably think I died, I thought | better drag my ass over to the computer and write something.
I have not been writing simply because right now I’m not funny, not “up”, not amusing. I have had a major setback mentally which I won’t get into other than to say it happened and I am trying with the help of my invisible psychiatrist to deal with it.
I truly feel totally alone right now and sometimes fervently desire to go to sleep and not wake up. And then I think of my son and my dogs and decide that is really a shitty thing to think and then I feel guilty for having such a selfish thought.
I also feel like I have somehow let the lot of you down as well as myself even though I cannot help the way I feel. I just do not feel anything but all encompassing blackness right now.
I am working on it, and I will be back as soon as I am able to be my affable self again. I’m so sorry for any emails I have not returned or thank you not given. I just don’t have the energy, I can’t concentrate and I sleep while bug is at school.
I’d say I’m not having a pity party, but I suppose I kind of am so there is that. Hopefully the meds start to work soon and I will be back.
I miss you all, but I am no good to anyone at the moment.