Hello my lovelies. It is me, your Dean of Fuckery/Law Professor/resident sarcasm expert/honorary DVM/and Queen of all I survey. I have a bunch of stuff to talk about and then we shall get to the title of today’s post.
Firstly, has America collectively lost its mind? I think so. Exhibit everything: Donald Trump. I listened to him go on and on about his plans to blow the middle east back to the stone age last night and how he planned on making China the greatest financial power in the world and how he was putting a metaphorical wall around America and my prevailing thought was “good luck with that.” Unfortunately it was quickly followed by “Holy fuck, we are an attached land mass and when he starts world war III, and he will, we may be somewhat fucked.” Why do more people not realize that Donald Trump is a Whackadoo? My only comfort is that when some country he is bombing releases some weird biological weapon I might finally get my zombie apocalypse. I am prepared. And looking forward to putting something metal into the brains of several undead people. I think my invisible psychiatrist would agree it would be good therapy. As a bonus you can’t murder something that is already dead, not that there will be anyone to worry about it. I plan on taking over the local jail as my first safe house.
Here in Canada Senator Mike Duffy was acquitted of using tax dollars improperly, the parents of a child that died of meningitis were convicted for not seeking medical attention and they are pretty pissed off about it the poor muffins. I am pretty pissed off another child died because there aren’t mandatory licensing requirements to have a child. The trial for the Murder of Tim Bosma continues and this week we learned that General sick fuck Millard asked his ex to tamper with a witness. Private sick fucks ex has also given testimony against him regarding the livestock incinerator that Tim was burned in among other charming things. I’m guessing since at least private sick fucks ex girlfriend is an accessory after the fact she made herself a deal although I haven’t heard one way or the other. Jian Ghomeshi part two, the next complainant is coming to a courtroom near some of us right shortly and in Edmonton 22 schools were put on lockdown because someone reported a man with a gun in his townhouse. IN HIS OWN TOWNHOUSE. Police located the man about 2 and a half hours later but never did locate any guns. 22 schools worth of freaked out kids and parents because a man might have been seen in his own house with a gun. Thanks America.
Now to the title. So I came across a very pregnant feral cat. Since I cannot stand the suffering of animals I went and got her some food and was going to try and catch her so she could have her babies inside the garage and I could find them homes. I never got the chance however cuz bitch went all psycho kitty on me and bit me before I ever realized what had happened. she then ate the food and promptly fucked off for parts unknown. Since she had sunk her fangs in right down to the bone in at least one spot I figured I better go get some antibiotics at the hospital. I got triaged and the nurse asked on a scale of one to ten what was my pain level and I said negative 62 because it didn’t hurt at all, I figured no big deal. She laughed like a hyena and said nobody had ever given her negative pain number before. I laughed back and told her to look up my file and she’d understand. I knew because it was a cat I needed antibiotics and probably rabies shots. The nurse that took me back said I would need them but the doctor who either thinks he is really funny, or just didn’t know how to tell me I had to have rabies shots said he had to go look it up. He called the health unit and that is when a stupid cat bite turned into a thing. He came back and said I did indeed need rabies shots which I find absolutely hilarious; I mean how many times have I been accused of having rabies? It is completely hysterical. Anyway the health unit called me this morning but then passed me off to the health unit where my doctors office is because my doctor has to give me the shots. Which sucks but is still seriously funny. They made me an appointment for Monday but then I got a panicked phone call 20 minutes later saying I couldn’t wait till Monday and I have to go tomorrow. Tomorrow is day zero, or day fuck my life depending on how you look at it. Five vials of immunoglobulin at the site of the bite which is directly at the base of my first finger and the meat of the pad underneath. For those of you that don’t know I am seriously needle phobic and needles in the hand suck serious amounts of ass. Monday I go back for my first dose of rabies vaccine, then Friday for my second dose, then the following Friday for dose three and then the 28th for my last shot. And then I can get bit by whatever I want because I am rabies immune for life. YAY. So the Really Big Mean Dog is finally getting her rabies shots. OMGLOLROFLMAO.
That’s it for tonight lovelies, I will keep you apprised as to whether I get put into 10 day quarantine or not. *snort*
RBMD peacing the fuck out.