Everybody Needs To Calm The Fuck Down

November 10, 2016

Your Dean of Fuckery/sarcasm expert/Law Professor/pretend judge/Dr. of doctoring/DVM/puppy resuscitation expert/ and Queen of all I survey needs to talk to her loyal subjects.

I know that many of you are unhappy about the outcome of the election…except for Eunice who is thrilled. Unfortunately this is how democracy works and everyone’s job now is to accept it with grace and start to figure out what the fuck went wrong and get ready to fix it in 4 years.

I hate the very idea of Donald Trump in case any of you missed it. I hate what he is, I hate what he represents as a human being and I hate the fact that nobody seemed to be able to see that he is as entitled a fucker as anyone else that has run for office. I don’t blame the people though. I blame the DNC. I blame them because truly, Bernie Sanders was a much better choice for candidate and had he been nominated he would have won. Unfortunately as we have come to find out, the DNC decided that Hillary was a better bet and put their money on the wrong horse.

Neither candidate was a good choice. I would have preferred to see you elect someone who isn’t so blatant about his racism/xenophobia/hatred for women, but it is what it is.

Protesting, rioting in the streets, etc. is going to accomplish nothing and quite frankly it brings everyone down to the level that I would have expected from his camp had the win been reversed.

I still think you are pretty much fucked. However, I think it is only fair that since he has won the election that he is given a chance to prove what kind of President he will be.

I have concerns that the “outsider” has already surrounded himself with so many insiders and so very many right wing nutters. There is right wing and then there are people like Mike Pence and the ex goblin king of New York. Still, we all have to wait and see. Freaking the fuck out is going to do nothing but drive you all to Xanax and hug therapy.

I am still very scared, as are most Canadians because what happens to you effects us.

So let the Trump supporters gloat. Let the Trump supporters that are actual normal people be. I know some and they are perfectly nice people. Not everyone who voted for him is a cross burning asshole.

To all the women in the States, I am really sorry about all the shit that is about to happen to you. To all the Latino’s that are not rapist murdering drug dealing bad hombres (which is like probably 99%) I’m sorry for the harassment you are about to face. To the Muslims that just want to live in peace I don’t even know what to say because sorry just doesn’t cut it and to everyone else, just live your life to the best of your ability until we see what is going to happen. Remember, Trump has a court case to attend to before he is ever sworn in, there is always impeachment if it comes down to it and truly, I think you are better off with him running the shit then Pence running it. Unless you want to go back to the stone age. Then Pence is just the guy.

It is okay to be scared, it isn’t okay to let it take over.

As always from Canada, much love to you all
RBMD peacing the fuck out.

Well, Since It’s The End Of The World, I Thought I Should Probably Say Something.

November 9, 2016

My loyal subjects, your Dean of Fuckery, Law Professor, Dr. of Doctoring, Pretend Judge and Queen of all I survey is here in hopes that maybe we can find some comfort in each other in these tumultuous times.

I know you are afraid. I know for some of you, the shock that a racist, misogynistic, xenophobic, hatemongering, sexual assaulting, wife buying, closet incest supporting walking fucking cheeto is actually your new president is great. I am not going to add to your pain by pointing out that contrary to popular opinion, Hillary Clinton has been one of the most truthful politicians that has EVER run for office. That really, really says a lot about the calibre of people you all vote for.

For those of you here that think the monster you have just unleashed is going to save the United States, I have but two questions? What fucking drugs are you taking and where the fuck can we all get some. The guy that has gone bankrupt 11 times with other peoples money, the guy that has used Chinese steel in his buildings, the guy that during a debate admitted to using undocumented workers, the guy that didn’t pay all the small businesses that outfitted his bankrupt fucking buildings is now the holder of the nuclear codes. I feel safer already.

It is going to be a very hard road for you United States. And for all of you, my State side no kill shelter mates; Courage. Have courage because we are here for you. Have courage because there are checks and balances across the globe to keep him in check. Have courage because even though the ugliness under the rocks in your yard have seen the light, we know that is not you as a people. Canada and the US are like best friends. We disagree passionately sometimes(like right now)but we go home and call each other later and say “we’re cool right?” and the answer is always and forever “dude, of course.”

I believe in democracy. Always. I don’t believe it always works. When the report card comes in and women can’t get abortions, planned parenthood is defunded, the Supreme court is stacked with rightwing nuts, and LGBT rights are torn away from them let me know what you think.

For those of you that voted for Trump, what did you say to your mother/wife/gay friend/ Muslim friend/ Latino or black friend this morning?

I am heartily saddened by the me, me, me that pervades not only your society but most societies that brought you to this. Do you really think the bajillionaire is going to do anything to fuck with his stacks? Nope, the rich will continue to be rich, the poor will continue to be poor and the middle class will probably slip a little. I am saddened by the millennials who believe that the world owes them everything.

I have nothing amusing to say today, because my heart hurts for you and I am afraid for you because I love you, Canada loves you and you are better than this.

Courage my friends. Courage and my deepest wishes that this somehow all works out.

As a Scot first, I leave you with this because it is just how I feel for you today.

RBMD Peacing the fuck out

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