My loyal subjects, your Dean of Fuckery, Law Professor, Dr. of Doctoring, Pretend Judge and Queen of all I survey is here in hopes that maybe we can find some comfort in each other in these tumultuous times.
I know you are afraid. I know for some of you, the shock that a racist, misogynistic, xenophobic, hatemongering, sexual assaulting, wife buying, closet incest supporting walking fucking cheeto is actually your new president is great. I am not going to add to your pain by pointing out that contrary to popular opinion, Hillary Clinton has been one of the most truthful politicians that has EVER run for office. That really, really says a lot about the calibre of people you all vote for.
For those of you here that think the monster you have just unleashed is going to save the United States, I have but two questions? What fucking drugs are you taking and where the fuck can we all get some. The guy that has gone bankrupt 11 times with other peoples money, the guy that has used Chinese steel in his buildings, the guy that during a debate admitted to using undocumented workers, the guy that didn’t pay all the small businesses that outfitted his bankrupt fucking buildings is now the holder of the nuclear codes. I feel safer already.
It is going to be a very hard road for you United States. And for all of you, my State side no kill shelter mates; Courage. Have courage because we are here for you. Have courage because there are checks and balances across the globe to keep him in check. Have courage because even though the ugliness under the rocks in your yard have seen the light, we know that is not you as a people. Canada and the US are like best friends. We disagree passionately sometimes(like right now)but we go home and call each other later and say “we’re cool right?” and the answer is always and forever “dude, of course.”
I believe in democracy. Always. I don’t believe it always works. When the report card comes in and women can’t get abortions, planned parenthood is defunded, the Supreme court is stacked with rightwing nuts, and LGBT rights are torn away from them let me know what you think.
For those of you that voted for Trump, what did you say to your mother/wife/gay friend/ Muslim friend/ Latino or black friend this morning?
I am heartily saddened by the me, me, me that pervades not only your society but most societies that brought you to this. Do you really think the bajillionaire is going to do anything to fuck with his stacks? Nope, the rich will continue to be rich, the poor will continue to be poor and the middle class will probably slip a little. I am saddened by the millennials who believe that the world owes them everything.
I have nothing amusing to say today, because my heart hurts for you and I am afraid for you because I love you, Canada loves you and you are better than this.
Courage my friends. Courage and my deepest wishes that this somehow all works out.
As a Scot first, I leave you with this because it is just how I feel for you today.
RBMD Peacing the fuck out