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The State Of The Shelter Address.

Hello everyone. It is me, your dean of fuckery, Dr. of Doctoring, dog lactation expert, honorary DVM, newborn puppy resuscitation expert, horse whisperer (we will get to that) and Queen of all I survey.

I thought since it has been a while I would break my own rule and let you all know what has been going on with me in the great not so white north.

This has been a particularly bad year for me pain wise but it has also been the year of behold all the fucks I have to give. I decided that I am no longer being ruled by how much pain I am physically in. Just no longer going to happen. I decided that if I let physical pain dictate whether or not I am going to be able to do things, I might as well just as well ask to be put out of my misery now. Actually, funny story, I did but not for the physical pain reasons and my doctors all said they were conscientious objectors to assisted dying. Does anyone besides me find that strange.

Mentally, I think I am getting better. At least the blackness no longer lasts as long and I have been able to go out where there are people a bit more. I’ve had panic attacks a half dozen times. I had a very, very bad couple of days last week but again, behold all the fucks I have to give because eventually they went away and I came back out the other side.

I have started horse therapy. I used to be quite the equestrian. A million or so years ago. My invisible psychiatrist thought it was a wonderful idea and supports me whole heartedly. Mostly I am mucking stalls and washing horses. Since my Orthopod said riding ever again in this lifetime or any other was not going to be possible I was content with just being around them. Until I wasn’t. I just got it into my head one day that doctors can be wrong and next thing I knew I was cantering a big old mare named star around the arena. I felt like Leonardo Dicaprio on the front of the titanic yelling about being the king of the world. I rode for about 20 minutes or so and was on cloud nine for days. The owners have been very kind and allow me at the barn whenever I want. They don’t care if I want to roll up there at midnight if that is when I need to hang with the horses for a while. They have caught me with my head buried in a horses neck bawling my face off because I needed to do that and have been so kind about it all. Such nice people. Of course, I guess they get something out of it too. The horses help me, and I help the horses which helps them. Mrs. horse farm owner has offered to talk if I ever need to, yet understood that maybe me crying on a horse was better for me than all the talking in the world. They have even offered me a yearling and said they would allow me to make affordable payments on it if I wanted. I do, but I could never afford it and why do I need my own horse when I have a whole barn full of them at my disposal. I have stayed away from horses because I thought it would hurt me to much to be around them. I was so very wrong. Wrong on a magnificent scale.

My invisible Caucasian Shepherd is going to be the biggest dog I have ever had by far. He is now 14 weeks old and is as big as Starsky. I think he may have been exposed to radiation or something. I would not even be remotely surprised if he sprouted wings. I will repost the invisible picture in case you missed it.

My son turned 16 yesterday. He has already picked out the college he will be attending, continues to work hard at school and he makes me proud every day.

I have developed some very serious tendonitis in my elbows, or maybe they are finally just disintegrating. Whichever. I’ll find out in January. My invisible orthopod keeps bugging about replacing the knees, but I’ve been there and done that and have an awesome video so I’m good. I’ll put up with the pain like I said until I no longer can. I realize I sound flippant and I probably shouldn’t because that day is coming fast, but there are so many people in the world that are in such worse shape than me, who the fuck am I to complain. And more importantly, who wants to listen to me bitch. I even get sick of myself.

Dahlia Dipshit got a mistrial and so there is another trial coming up for her and since my new years resolution is to stop feeling sorry for myself and get on with it, I will be writing again.

This would normally be where I would probably apologize for my extended AWOLS but I can’t control depression or how long it lasts. That being said, I seem to be in a pretty good place mentally as far as the depression goes right now. So please do expect your resident sarcasm expert back in form in the new year.

I am hoping I get what I want for Christmas and the zombie apocalypse starts tomorrow or anytime before your president elect takes the oath of office. I actually hope Obama is the first one to get it and he bites Drumpf. Since the four horsemen of the apocalypse have already appeared and seem to have taken up residence at the white house, or are at least poised to, maybe my wish will come true. Just think what it would do for our overpopulation problem as well. If that actually happens I have a really good plan so just come here and we can all fight zombies together. It will be sick.

I miss all of you in case you were wondering. I hope each of you are thriving, or at least hanging in and counting on the fact that eventually it does get better. Something I would not have believed myself a year ago. But, it does.
Twister, thank you, you know why.

I’d like roll call please. We haven’t had one in a while so I want the whole shelter to sound off.

I love you all and I would not have made the progress I have without you. Take that to the bank.

I hope all of your Christmas’s or Hanukahs or whatever are exactly what you want them to be.

Expect me back soon.

From My Countrymen and I

Much love
RBMD peacing the fuck out.

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20 Responses to The State Of The Shelter Address.

  1. TrulyUSA says:

    SOUND OFF Truly here with a big old Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!! Keep it up Queenie – I love horses and I know they can heal what ails ya. Love everybody in the pound, hope you all are happy and well!

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Truly my love it is wonderful to see you. I wish you guys knew how much I missed you.

      • TrulyUSA says:

        We’re here Kelly! I miss you terribly and I wish I could come up there and make it all better but it’s not working down here for some of my special peeps so I don’t imagine I’d be any more effective up there – but God knows I am willing to try!!!!! Love you girl, sitting here by myself now and am okay with that, sipping a White Russian (the drink not the guy…) and eyeing the wine. I’m thinking TOASTEE is the word of the evening. Got my two dogs, my Christmas candles, the tree is awfully pretty and GREEN (if ya know what I mean Twister, hee hee), a storm is brewing outside and I’m not in it, so I’m thinking of you and sending warm hugs and misty musings, love you Kelly Merry Christmas.

  2. Ginger says:

    Always happy to see your blog in my mail. Health and happiness to you, happy new year!

  3. Constance says:

    Merry Christmas Kelly! Happy to see your post!

    Thrilled you are enjoying the horses, yeah doctors are wrong – a lot!

    Have you ever heard of Heller Body Work? It MIGHT be a good alternative to surgery, if the practitioner is outstanding..

    Visualizing your son’s acceptance letter form the college of his choice when the time comes:)

    I think I ought to be able to end my own life on my own terms when i decree it, totally get it.

    On the other hand, for me, crippling depression eventually passed when I bit-by-tiny-bit changed my belief systems and emotional habit patterns, so I would have missed out on a lot of amazingly lovely things and experiences if I’d had my way 40 years ago. Or 25 years ago.

    But physical cause like diseases of any kind or alzheimers/dementia? Yes, I completely 1000% agree. and you should be able to do it at the time of your diagnosis if you choose and not have to wait for years.

    ((hugs)) and Happy New Year 2017 to you!

  4. Twister says:

    Twister here checking in. Still. Always. Merry Christmas to the shelter!

  5. lacey leonard says:

    Hugs & kisses here from N.C. I have horses, they keep me sane, also my dog. Love you Kelly ♥

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Lacey. Yup horses are amazing animals. They are doing wonders for me for sure. Love you back.

  6. Mwah! Merry Christmas, Kelly! You sure have been missed, lady. Sorry that you have gone through such a rough time, but so happy to hear some positive things are happening now. Animals have a way of pulling us along, even when people are us want to tear our hair out. Boy, my tongue can sure hurt from biting it at times.

    A big ole Michigan shout out to you!! Super hugs. (((((( )))))))

  7. Spellbound4 says:

    Grrr … I wrote a long lost and it seems to have disappeared. So good to have you back today, Kelly! Animals have a way of making life better. So glad you found your niche. Merry Christmas to you, luv.

  8. renaes24 says:

    Hey! Merry Christmas to all! Still here in the frozen North…..(but dreaming of Hawaii and Tonga)……
    Kelly….since when did damn doctors know everything? (or even anything?) Bunch of old, white ‘we know better than you’ mopes. Do what your body and your mind tell you. I’ve gotten tired of them saying “it doesn’t hurt THAT bad” etc. They can suck eggs.
    I also miss all the days on horseback…….Now one (sick) question: did you do it ala Lady Godiva?
    Care to join me on the balcony while we watch Trump start WWIII and blow up the world?
    Merry Christmas.

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      I’m saving the lady godiva routine for Halloween. I’ll be therewith the radiation suits. I told you I was prepared for any type of apocalypse.

      • renaes24 says:

        Well, from what I know of the test site in Nevada, the sunrise/sunset will be quite beautiful to watch. Bring munchables, we will provide the rest.
        I’ll pass on the radiation suit. I want to do like the instructions for the gas chamber: “take a deep breath”. (Get it over in one fell swoop…….)

  9. Hey from Bazzethound!! I was really excited to see you in my inbox!

    Things are going well down here in Virginia, except for the fact the Donald the human sweet potato will soon live within a hundred mile radius of me. Life goes on, I’m just looking forward to his first impeachment hearing for conflicts of interest.

    Christmas was awesomely stellar, I made it to all the family gatherings and went out for all the gifts I couldn’t get online. All was great..except for the gift Handsome Husband was supposed to get me… he thought we were going out shopping together after Christmas, I thought I made him a damn list of things under $15 that he could get me so I wouldn’t be the only one on Christmas morning without gifts to open. (Hhmmmmm, maybe I’m still a little bitter and needed to share that with some friends.) He did take the kids to have their portraits taken as a gift to me and they are so damn good looking that I’ve got to forgive him because he gave me such awesome sons.

    The presents we got for the kids and grandparents were a huge success and I definitely wasn’t deprived of some great gifts. It will be fun to go shopping with my man and he’s definitely taking me out to dinner while we’re out. I’m looking forward to going to our favorite steakhouse. We can’t take our youngest as he has a peanut allergy and they are one of those places with shelled peanuts all over the place, so it’s strictly for date night.

    We’ve had a rough autumn- HH had foot surgery in September, then had a heart attack four days later on 9/11- my birthday, which is already a dreadful day of remembrance and a day that makes me feel bad for trying to celebrate, then more guilty for wanting to selfishly enjoy my birthday when so many are mourning. He got two stints and recovered well.

    November sucked, but December was much better. I’ve actually left home every day for the last week!! I have no intention of going anywhere today, but am super proud of myself & got lots of kudos from the family too. Back pain is worse as I’m moving around more, but the depression is less heavy.

    Damn…I really don’t like those “holiday update” letters that come in cards, but it feels like I just wrote one! The only difference is that I’ve included the crap along with the bragging.

    I’ve missed you all, obviously, and am looking forward to reading more updates!!

    P.S. Sure, KellyMae, you can stay with us so you can scoot up to D.C. and protest during the Inauguration. I’ve got a room and a 48 lb beagle/seal/houseplant you can cuddle with at night.

  10. Sherry says:

    Hi Kelly, it’s Sherry from Alberta, and I just got to my computer for the first time in a couple of weeks so sorry I’m late. My mom was sick so she moved in with me to get better and with two kids and hosting 32 people for Christmas dinner, computer time was way down on the list. Passing on my Merry Christmas and hope your 2017 is filled with whatever joys and successes you need to create happiness in your home. Hugs

    • reallybigmeandog says:

      Hai Sherry. Thank you for checking in and lets hope 2017 is at least less traumatic then 2016

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