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Welcome To The United STATE Of New Korea. Supreme Leader Trump Edition.

January 23, 2017

Hai my lovelies.  Tis me, your intrepid Dean of Fuckery, Law Professor, Doctor of Doctoring, honorary Judge, Puppy resuscitation expert, Dog Lactation consultant, Horse Whisperer, Owner of the In House Psychic, Alternative news (see real news) supporter, Big Fan of Human Rights and the US constitution, and Queen of all I survey.

The video of the day is brought to you with Russian subtitles so you can get used to Cyrillic writing and shit.

I am so excited for New Korea.  Your supreme leader just declared the day of his inauguration 1/20/2017 “National Day of Patriotic Devotion” (seriously). cancelled everyone’s healthcare, killed the TPP, decided that starting a war with the indigenous native population over a pipeline is a really good idea,  lied about the turnout for his dictatorshiptorial debut, started a war with the media, decided the secretary of education doesn’t actually require one, gave big businesses  huge, or should I say YUUUUGE tax breaks and drained the swamp of whatever was in it and filled it back up with Nile crocodiles with necrotizing fasciitis shooting lasers on their heads. Welcome to 1817 everybody.  YAY!!

Someone tell me again how a government led by a guy that has gone bankrupt 11 times and filled with billionaire members is a good idea?

So here is my theory on what is next on the Trump agenda.  Deciding that allowing peons to call the white house to complain or ask questions should no longer be allowed because negativity and stuff…Oh,wait he did that already.  Black people will once again be required to ride at the back of the bus and they will like it dammit.   All Latino’s will be immediately deported.  DNA testing will become mandatory at birth so that the Government can make sure you are positively, completely white. Indigenous people must immediately assimilate or be summarily shot.  All Muslims will immediately be interred in camps with really nice showers.  All women will immediately throw away their shoes and become pregnant, or if too old to become pregnant they will be offered the choice of assisted suicide because their usefulness is over.  If you are a millionaire you will get a pardon, as long as you know your place.  Spousal rape will be legalized because you can’t rape someone you are married to.  Pussy grabbing will be added as an Olympic Sport.  Homosexuals will have a chance to pray the gay away and if it doesn’t work they will be interred with the Muslims or offered assisted suicide because the only reason to be alive is to procreate and if you can’t do that you are obsolete.

Your great leader will import every Rottweiler, pitbull, mastiff, and leopard dog from the entire world to help herd the Mexican race back to Mexico.  Religion will become mandatory, but the new bible will be the art of the deal and you will worship at the alter of Trump.  Since Trump is now a god and church all of his earnings will be non-taxable.  All detractors will be arrested and put into chain gangs building that fucking wall.   All homes will become property of Trump holdings.

Scientists will be reassigned to jobs that are actually important.  If they refuse they will be offered immediate assisted suicide…with a rifle.

The phrase climate change will no longer be allowed to be uttered.  Fines will be a minimum of ten thousand dollars for each separate instance.  Differently weathered will be an acceptable alternative.

Anyone who cannot afford medical care is now allowed to be seen by a veterinarian if they can afford that.  Veterinarians are now will be allowed to perform human procedures if they want too.  If they don’t the Supreme leader suggests you hurry up and die.

Barack Hussein Obama shall be removed from all texts, literature, historical references, et al.  So let it be written, so let it be done.

Enjoy your new dictatorship kids.  Hope it was worth it.  The land of the used to be free and the home of the slaves.

RBMD shaking her fucking head and peacing the fuck out.

 

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And The Rockets Orange Glare, The Bombs Bursting On Air Gave Proof Through The Night That You Must Be Aware. Oh Say Does That Orange Pig Dog Fucker Still Haive..r.(it means lie in Scottish)O’er The Land You Should Flee, And the home of The Deranged.

January 19, 2017

Your old anthem translated to Russian just so you can get a head start on things will follow shortly.  Some words don’t translate well, like rampart.  Rampart is a sucky word to translate to Russian.  Just sayin.  I’m sure president Stalin, I mean Putin, I mean Trump will have a new word to replace it.

Before the nukes go off tomorrow, I just want to say a few other things.  Your confirmation hearings are a joke.  Your nominee for the department of energy didn’t know that included nukes, and nobody is willing to say that they will give an accounting of foreign loans held by your esteemed president.

Trudeau has declared a US refugee crisis and we are currently putting plans in place to get the refugees out before we commence with sawing the continent in half and hopefully floating a little farther away so as to stay out of the blast radius.  You have to pass a fairly simple test.  Prove you are not racist, homophobic, misogynistic, or a pussy grabber (unless of course you have been invited to grab the pussy in which case rock on) and don’t have problems with the disabled. You also must believe in the separation of church and state, public schools not for profit and not for profit jails or healthcare.    Please know our prayers are with you and we will get as many of you out as we can. May god have mercy on you all.

RBMD peacing the fuck out in my peaceful country.  Remember we love you.

 


Retraction

January 11, 2017

Until I can look into it further, the post from today is retracted.  My good friend Ronda has pointed out that several agencies have called bullshit on the story, so until I can do some further digging consider it non-news and just an amusing anecdote.

RBMD


Oh I Think Urine Trouble Now You Cheeto Dusted Whore Monger.

January 11, 2017

 

Hello my loyal subjects.  It is me; your Dean of Fuckery, Law Professor, Dr. of Doctoring, puppy resuscitation expert, lactation consultant, resident sarcasm expert and as always Your Royal Highness, Queen of all I survey.

This from Renae, a fascinating read.

golden-showers-bring-may-flowers

And with that, I leave you this.

your new President elect Ladies and Gentlemen

 

RBMD peacing the fuck out.

 


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