I Love A Good Conspiracy Theory

March 30, 2017

trump meme

Hello my lovelies.  Your Dean of Fuckery/Law Professor/Doctor of Doctoring/Honorary DVM/ Animal Lactation Expert/Certified Rabies Free RBMD/ all around bad assed bitch and Queen of all I Survey is once again back to bring you a couple of things.

First, I would like to tell you about a friend of mine on Twitter. Ann has been my friend for quite a while and while we differ on our opinion of the current President (she is and has always been a Trump supporter) she is also a wonderful human being who has a broad enough mind to change it if the evidence presents itself to her satisfaction. I respect that the same way she respects that I would do the same. We had a very interesting conversation today about something that has nothing to do with the current state of fail in the US but about a trail of bodies that seem to be following the Clintons around.

I was immediately intrigued because I had no idea and I am usually up on things of this nature. I started to dig a little and my first stop was Snopes which firmly debunked where this is going. Still, I was bothered by a few things so I disregarded Snopes for the moment and began to search deeper. A lot deeper and decided that this does indeed warrant an investigation of some kind. It may amount to nothing, as a matter of course it will probably amount to nothing, but you don’t know if you don’t look and I love a good conspiracy.
Thank you Ann for the idea and also for accepting my findings whatever they may be.

The in-house Psychic is mad at me because she is apparently bored. You can only read the dogs minds so many times apparently, and while I do have that whole indentured servitude thing it is only polite to throw the poor psychic thing a bone once in a while. She keeps waking up screaming that the small animal on Trumps head is begging for help, so even if she can’t get a lock on him we can see what the head animal has to say.

Last but definitely not least I have been working on a Donald Trump Presidential Dictionary. Please look for it soon. I believe it is almost complete.

I hope everyone is well. My love to you all my no kill shelter friends.
RBMD peacing the fuck out.

The Cheeto Is A Tool – An Inspired By Dr. Seuss Bedtime Story

March 29, 2017

Hello my lovelies.  It’s me your dean of fuckery, doctor of doctoring, honorary DVM, fake Judge, all around bad assed bitch and queen of all I survey.  Today I bring you something different.  A story in the style of doctor Seuss.  I hope you enjoy.

On January 20th 2017 by the water of a slave built pool
In the pouring rain which was alternatively a beautiful sunny day
The band banged on while the brainwashed acted like it was may
And the orange cheeto they swore in was a tool

The Cheeto was smiling enjoying the masses, must have forgotten his glasses
because the huge masses just were not there
While he swore on a book that might as well have taught him to cook
And Mike Pence almost peed and Steve Bannon agreed
That they could easily control the fool.

The cheeto was happy and into his nappy he left an illustrious stool
When he finally realized that a country this size might actually need to be ruled
A dictatorship formed while the democrats stormed and Putin approved with great zeal
Leading is hard work especially if your a jerk so he thought I’ll begin to repeal

I’ll repeal healthcare first but he wasn’t well versed in much other then “brokering illegal deals. So of course when that failed and all rails had been railed he blamed something that isn’t real.

I’ll build us a wall he said to them all and I will make Mexico pay. The people were pacified at first until the Mexican president cursed on national TV. El Presidente laughed and bounced like a ball and what he said to the tool was We won’t pay for no fucking wall.

Then the scandals all started and people departed with a speed that would make your head turn. They ran really fast, scandalized Politicians don’t last and they didn’t want to be the ones to burn. One after another “fake news stories” surfaced much to the glee of the dems. They polished each one like a gem. Each time that this happened, the cheeto’s rep got more blackened and his approval started to slip. When it hit 35 most still standing at his side began to abandon ship.

A travel ban he cried, that will keep me alive, but it got shot down in the courts. Stupid constitution he muttered and wondered if it was something that he could thwart.
Of course he could not he was told by his men as he was passed a hanging rope knot.

I’ll drain the swamp he stammered like that even mattered since once it was drained he didn’t know what to do. It was Bannon who said, what the fuck your career’s dead, lets fill it back up with ooze, puss and muck.

The cheeto had platformed on being a regular American, everyone soon found out that isn’t true. Won’t release taxes, wants to screw the masses, and control women’s rights too.

No ties to Russia he said quite straight faced while all the evidence piled on. Alternative facts became a thing that isn’t a thing, to try and explain this big con.

Lets starve the poor and the old and the sick and take away their meds. We will call it something else they people will agree because I’m the ruler and they will believe what I said.

Everyone is wrong only I tell the truth and I tell the best truth of anyone ever. All the promises I’ve made I swear they will all be kept on the twenty fifth day of never.

Dr Seuss should be proud
RBMD peacing the fuck out

World Of War Craft – Bad Hombre Expansion Pack Edition

March 28, 2017

This is about as fitting as it gets I think.

Alt Title:  the 2017 just waiting for the last horsemen of the apocalypse to show up so we can start to watch the world burn edition.

…current location, my zombie apocalypse/now nuclear fallout shelter stocking up on diesel for my very first nuclear winter.

Hi Everyone. Your Dean of Fuckery/resident sarcasm expert/honorary DVM/ Doctor of doctoring/certified rabies free RBMD/law professor/pretend judge/friend of all animals, especially whatever poor creature is living on Trumps head/Queen of all I survey, and all around nasty woman is back for another edition of RBMD.

As some of you may have guessed, I firmly believe this is going to be the final year of the existence of the planet. Since I have not yet figured out how to cut a continent literally in half, or thirds if South America is in, I thought I might as well talk about the Donald Trump shit show.

For those of you that are unaware, Canada, your polite, sensible northern friends are smack dab in the middle of you and Russia. Most of us up here in Canada land that don’t already speak Russian don’t really feel that they want to learn Russian and we are concerned. So before Russia annexes North Carolina or something I thought we should talk.   Of course when WWIII starts, we will be there having your backs, just like we have with every other stupid WW, we will bleed with you, we will die with you, we will mourn with you, and we will curse the rich fuckers whose children will not be in the fray just like it has been since time began because the rich and power hungry start the wars, they don’t fight them.

Civil war in your country is also a very large concern for us. Mostly because we like you. We can’t figure out how any of this happened, not for the life of us, but we like you.( not that it matters to most of you)  It is like some horrible nightmare that nobody can wake up from.

Donald Trump I have decided is either insane, or more likely he is a sociopath.  Just wondering for all you yuuuuuge fans of the insane oompa lompa troll, how IS all that winning going for ya?

Lets look at some facts shall we?  Oh come on don’t be afraid,{ it will be fine I promise.}  That there is a representation of a lie.  Not an alternative fact or fake news, I just lied.  It won’t be fine.  Not by a fucking long shot.  Alternative facts are lies for those of you that haven’t figured that out yet.  Please keep up or you will have to stay after class.  I’d say the misogynistic, xenophobic, woman hating, pussy grabbing, federal tax avoiding, illegal immigrant employing, Chinese steel purchasing, incest in his heart having, orange faced mother fucker might be just a little more of an alternative fact giver than originally thought. Just sayin’.

Raise your hand if this sounds familiar.  “I will IMMEDIATELY repeal and replace Obamacare”.  That one went in the LOSE column.  Also who knew healthcare was so hard?  I did.  My kid did.  Pretty sure my dog did.  That guy running your country not so much.

Let us try another one.  I will be to busy working for you, the American people to be on the golf course all the time like Obama.  Really?  13 times since he took office.  So another trump Alternative fact.

So far, you, the American taxpayers have paid 11.2 million, FUCKING MILLION on secret service for the Trumps.  That is one months worth.  NOT an alternative fact a real live one.  That is almost the entire bill for the Obamas for an entire year.

How’s that wall coming?  I just called Mexico to see but El Presidente was too busy laughing to take my call.

Extra Credit:  I don’t have any ties with Russia.  OMFGROFLMFAO  Can anyone say brokering 500 BILLION dollar deal with a company that has sanctions against it.  Oh wait, that would be treason wouldn’t it?  Right?  Do they still give the firing squad for acts of treason? Just wondering.

America, if I were you I would take the most famous Trump quote ever and tell the fucker “YOU’RE FIRED.

What a fucking clusterfuck shitshow this is turning into.  I’d make popcorn because I am one of those people that would find the world burning amusing, but I need the popcorn in my bunker.

Secret directions will be sent to all members of the no kill shelter.  Bring your dogs, bring your horses, bring your kids, I’m iffy on spouses, they may have to pass a comprehensive entry into my bunker written exam.  Or some shit like that.

RBMD peacing the fuck out.

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