Hello my lovelies. Put on your tinfoil hats and cover the cameras on your laptops, your Dean of Fuckery has dug to China and I have some answers for you.
Regarding the figurative trail of dead bodies that the Clintons have allegedly left behind them I have discovered a couple of things. Out of over a hundred people that are dead, there is one that is maybe a little hinky and this person was like the dentists brothers cousins friend that is how close he was to the Clintons. All others deaths that have been attributed to nefarious causes were either A) natural deaths like heart attacks and pneumonia or B)Suicides, or C) mechanical or equipment failure. Now there was one medical examiner who cut a lot of corners with all his dead bodies not just the ones that had any kind of tenuous connections to the Clintons which is where a lot of this started I think. Bodies had to be dug up and re-autopsied which is both sad and gross but in the end all of the dead that are actually people were A dead, and B an actual cause of death was issued. There are several that flat out do not even exist, I think those were just thrown in to pad the numbers. There were also plane crashes due to pilot error, and a cesna crash due to mechanical failure.
My question going into this was why is Monica Lewinski alive if all of these other people who quite literally could have done nothing to the Clintons are dead? My answer remains the same. Because this shit just never happened. If you ever crossed paths with a Clinton at a fund raiser, a charity event or political event or he movies or at the dentist or the doctors or the grocery store and you died you are suddenly a part of some fucking cover-up? Nope, the amount of people that you meet when you are a public figure is just exponentially bigger than if you are a private person.
So to put this to bed much like Pizza-gate(which by the way was never really a thing, just another conspiracy theory) THIS SHIT NEVER HAPPENED. I mean people did die, but not because the Clintons have a hit squad, just because they died or they had shit luck and their plane went down.
Now I have spent way to much time and wasted way to many brain cells just to satisfy my own curiosity so while we are on the subject I am going to clear up a few other things.
- We really landed on the moon.
- It is not made of cheese
- the twin towers were brought down by two planes not internal implosions
- Elvis is dead
- Kurt Cobain is dead
- I will have to get back to you on area 51
- To the best of the scientific community’s knowledge at large, aliens do not live among us, probably because of shit like this.
- You are more likely to die by being kicked to death by a pissed of Kangaroo than be killed because of a conspiracy. (I just made that last part up, but basically it is true.)
Hope that helps every one out and we can get back to reality…Sorry actually it might be more comforting to just keep your tinfoil hats on and keep your cameras covered reality being what it is at the moment.
Anyway, that is about 25 hours of my life I won’t ever get back but rest assured, I turned over every rock, kicked every tire and even took a couple of good stories out for a drive. Nothing holds water, none of it. Unless you want it to, in which case rock on with your bad self and Hide from the Clintons. They know you know. OMGLOLROFLMAO.
RBMD Peacing the Fuck Out.