I Don’t Do Trials About Kids. I Have Said It A Hundred Times, But This One Time, I Am Going To Make An Exception.

October 19, 2017

(dedicated to the memory of Gord Downie, a man who loved everyone, especially kids.)

Hai my lovelies, tis me your queen, resident sarcasm expert, pretend Judge, Dean of all Fuckery, horse whisperer, Honorary DVM, and Dog Lactation Consultant.  I debated about this for two nights, and then whoever you believe drives this train saw fit to take Gord Downie, Gord Fucking Downie, a Canadian Icon, and just a good and decent human being because of some fucking glioblastoma and I kind of snapped.  If you don’t remember The Tragically Hip have been adopted as our no kill shelter band.  I am in deep mourning.  For real.  So is most of Canada.  If the fucking Prime Minister can break down so can we dammit.

Sorry, I am upset and rambling.  Anyway, Gord Downie was a lot of things, poet, singer, lyricist, friend to the indigenous people of our region and yours god love him, and child advocate.  Child Advocate.  So, because I truly somewhere deep in my marrow loved this man I never knew, loved him because of what he believed, not because of who he was, I am going to break my own rule ONE TIME and do this trial.

It is not televised, but I still have some totally not real friends in the media world(looking at you both Daves and you Jeff) and I am going to cover this thing for Gord.  Because this would have been important to him.  The plight of this poor dead baby would have been important to him as it should be to all of us.

There is a sickness in all of our societies.  I don’t know what the fuck it is, I just know it gets worse each year and we need to find the root cause of it, and find a vaccination for it or something.

The dead child is named Gabriel Fernandez.  He was only 8.  This was a vicious, senseless torture/murder and I am eternally grateful that this is being held in a death penalty state.

I am warning you now that it will be graphic and horrible.  Everything I have found so far had been graphic and horrible.  All the more horrible because DCFS is involved and indicted so this child could have/ should have lived.

If you would rather I did not cover this, speak now or do this with me.  If enough of you don’t want it, I will lay down my torch and try and find something less deplorable.  Although, how do I find any murder not deplorable.  I will do what I can to lighten the mood as I always do, but this one is going to take me to my limit I am pretty sure.

Just as an aside, I love you guys.  All of you.  And I am glad we are here together.

I’m going to leave you with Gord because I need to share a little of what we lost Tuesday night to fucking cancer.  We can make sure guys have hard-ons, we can make fake boobs, and fake asses and even a fake president but we can’t cure cancer.  Fuck this world and its fucked up priorities.


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