4th Circle of Hell currently making my way to the 5th Circle
Hello my lovelies. It is me, pretend Judge, totally awesome fake lawyer (let’s be honest I am a better lawyer than most people that have passed the bar), dog lactation consultant, horse whisperer, author of the big book of words and as always Queen of all I Survey.
I come to you today to tell you that your queen has been very busy working on this whole family murdering bastard thing. The entire day actually. I have called in a few favors and the consensus is that Chris Watts is going to trial. He is going to argue diminished capacity (huge shock I know) but barring a last minute plea deal to spare that poor father who I will be very surprised if he does not take his own life, Chris is going to get what is coming to him. Unfortunately it won’t be the electric chair with a metal suppository shoved up his ass.
Chris fuck face was having an affair as I am sure you are all aware by now. He was also a complete control freak, so much so that he ordered his wife who had Lupus for Christ’s sake to have another baby. She was understandably frightened, but as so many abused women do, she agreed. A baby that will never be born. Sadly, there are no laws on the books for babies that are not viable outside the mothers womb so he gets a freebee on that one.
I don’t know how many of you watched his press conference where he had the unmitigated gaul to tell the world that his family was everything to him and that the house was so empty without them and he just wanted them back safe. Well, at least the part about the house being empty was true at least until his tart came over.
I have nothing but rage against this woman who was well aware he was married and chose to have a relationship with him anyway. for all we know she is the one who set this all in motion with the “if you don’t leave your wife I won’t fuck you anymore.” Oh I do hate me some home wreckers. I hope she has an STI and I hope he gets it and I hope it’s the flesh eating variety.
So many ruined lives and so many lives no more. Shananns father will never ever be the same I guarantee it. I have never seen such raw emotion, such raw pain and I’ve been doing trials for a long, long time. Fuckfaces family is in tatters and even they don’t believe him. Their friends are wrecks. The carnage in the wake of this is almost incomprehensible.
There is a rumor the tart is shopping around a book which I encourage you to NEVER EVER BUY BECAUSE IT IS BLOOD MONEY AND EVERYTHING IS GOING TO COME OUT IN THE WASH ANYWAY. Don’t support this woman.
Chris thought originally he’d report them missing, wait the allotted amount of time, have them declared dead and collect the insurance. Unfortunately his story was really stupid and it unraveled very quickly, hence plan B. blame the wife. A wife who was completely devoted to her family and her husband who she by all accounts genuinely loved.
The wheels of justice grind slowly my children so we probably have at least a year and and maybe more. we are going to have to find something else to amuse ourselves with so pick a trial and I will write about it. Give me something good. Something with some bite, something we can all get into.
That is it for tonight
really Big Mean Dog Peacing the Fuck out