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None Of It Was Real, We Were Trying To Get A Reality Show…er Jeffrey MacDonald Killed His Whole Entire Family Part 7

January 10, 2018

 

Hello my lovelies.  Your Dean of Fuckery, Doctor of Doctoring, Writer of enviable amicus briefs, Horse whisperer, dog lactation consultant, Honorary DVM, Resident sarcasm expert, author of the big book of words, And Queen of all I survey am back with whatever part this is of the Jeffrey MacFuckface Trial.

This is going to be another hoppy, skippy, jumpy one because I can’t help but jump back and forth to give you the entire picture of what went down during this whole shit show of a grand jury hearing and almost not a trial and then a trial.

Victor Woerheide was the one who had been ultimately charged with seeing that Macwhythefuckareyoustillusingourair was indicted and he took that job very seriously.  I actually saw somewhere yesterday erroneously stated in a book no less that Colette was 8 months pregnant.  Colette was five months pregnant with a male fetus when she was bludgeoned and stabbed and ice picked to death.  You know, it just struck me, if you substituted that piece of timber for a .25 calibre handgun we’d have a male stabby.  Hippies, ninjas, tomato, tomahto.

Anyway, Woerheide had some innate talent for getting under MacStabby’s skin.  He had Jeffy bellowing at him during certain parts of his questioning at the grand jury inquiry.  He was very quick to anger and the grand jury saw it.  He flat out refused (on advice of council) to take either a lie detector or sodium amytal interview.  YAY, we are now at the science part of the program.  Okay, so in the late 70’s after having gathered data that was available about lie detectors at that time, I wouldn’t have taken a lie detector test either, they were too new and actually rather unreliable.  Sodium amytal on the other hand was simply a barbiturate which is a drug that acts on the central nervous system to calm anxiety and induce drowsiness and lowers ones ability to lie.  If someone is looking for a simple answer as to whether someone did or did not do something this was the drug to use.  As in did you murder your entire family because you are a complete dick and you were just tired of them?  Or Were there hippies in the house the night your family was murdered?  Jeffy Weffy had to go out and confer with his Lawyer Bernie Segal which took a long time because Bernie had to write something for Jeffy to read to the grand jury, then he had to get copies for Woerheide and the grand jurists and it took a lot of time.  Basically all it said was a sodium amytal interview would make the person taking the amytal relive the event which would be too traumatic for him.  Seriously, you can take a drug and they say, he Jeff did you kill your family and you say nope and the Grand Jury would have come back probably immediately with a no bill but you say you don’t want it because it would be to traumatic.  Oh fuck puhlease.  If there is a drug that they could give you and it would basically clear you if you were telling the truth who in the fuck would not take it?   Oh a guilty one, that’s who.

So okay Woerheide got tired of playing with the long eviscerated carcass of Macdouchbag and they voted and he was indicted on three counts of murder.  YAY.

Bernie Segal immediately peed on the parade and filed a motion that he had not been afforded a speedy trial and therefor this should be thrown out.  While the fourth circuit court decided on this issue  MacHolyfuckIcan’tbelievethishappened got let out on bail  They ultimately decided that MacDieofahorribledisease  only had an article 32 which is basically the army equivalent of a  grand jury inquiry and because the military and civilian court were two totally different things,  jeopardy was NOT attached.  The FBI skipped on down to California to bring him back to Raleigh to face trial for the murder of his wife and two and a half children.  Jeffrey was shocked that he being mister perfect and all was not being believed by any of these people.  It was starting to piss him off a little.

In the interim between bail and the courts decision Victor Woerheide dropped dead of a heart attack on his front lawn.  Freddy was beside himself.  Woerheide was his bulldog, Woerheide would make sure Jeffy paid.  Brian Murtagh assured him that a very excellent lawyer would be taking Woerheide’s place.  Enter James Blackburn.  James Blackburn had never tried a murder case his entire career and was the complete antithesis of everything Woerheide had been.  It was now Mildred who did her best to shore up Freddy after  so many years of it being the other way around.  Mildred calmed Freddy down and said she had faith that while Mr. Blackburn may have a different way about him, he would not have been assigned this case if he did not have the necessary tools to get the job done.  Freddy would turn out to be greatly surprised by the tenacity of Mr. Blackburn. He wasn’t a bulldog, he was a bull terrier.

Jeffy and company set up camp at a frat house and proceeded to prep for trial.  He was still out on bond and one day he decided to give an  interview to a rookie reporter.  when asked about the trial he became indignant.  This is what he said. “There is no case,” MacDonald said. “They know there is no case. What they are trying to do is, they are trying to mound up a pile of stuff and make it look like a good investigation was done, and then in a closing argument, unbuttressed with any facts at all, they’re going to misinterpret the witnesses’ words. You watch.”

He heaped special scorn on two people he held principally responsible: His stepfather-in-law, Alfred Kassab, whose complaint with the Justice Department was the basis for re-opening the case; and Assistant U.S. Attorney Brian Murtagh, who helped prepare the case for trial.

And then he brought it up. The blue pajama top.

MacDonald had worn it the night of the murders. He said a government expert had come up with a model of that shirt, which would be shown during the trial.
“(It’s) something he devised in 1974 that he felt added to the case,” MacDonald said
He didn’t seem particularly worked up about this model. And showing my inexperience, I didn’t ask him to explain further.

But a few weeks later, its significance showed when the former FBI expert, Paul Stombaugh, took the stand.
Stombaugh said the shirt had 48 ice pick holes in it, more than four times the number of wounds found on MacDonald. None of the holes matched his wounds. But it was possible to fold the shirt in such a way that the holes equaled the 21 ice pick thrusts into the chest of MacDonald’s wife, Colette.
The shirt was found on her chest. MacDonald said he only put it there after regaining consciousness and finding her severely wounded.
But prosecutors asserted that he stabbed his wife with the ice pick through the pajama top to simulate an attack on him. { *Rick Thames*}

In one of the most brilliant maneuvers in courtroom history, Brian Murtagh had Jim Blackburn flail away at him as he held a pyjama top of the same type wrapped around his hands as MacFuckingdiealready had said his hands had been trapped in the top.  Even in the controlled setting of the courtroom, Brian Murtagh received a significant icepick wound on his hand.  Jeffy had received not a single wound of any kind other than those already spoken of.  He had never had any wounds on his hands, fingers or forearms.  It was a shocking display, especially when the unravelled the top and saw all the ragged torn holes, not nice little cylindrical punctures like the holes in the actual pyjama top.

Bernie Segal, who had his head so far up his own ass that he actually thought they were winning the thing asked if Mr. Murtagh required a doctor to some tittering from the gallery.

That’s it for tonight kids.  Tomorrow, what a bloody mess, trying to suborn perjury and if they hear about  that pony one more time they are gonna puke.

 

 

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We Were Taking Pictures And She Just Fell Off The Cliff…Goddammit Wrong Trial Again…The Hippies Did It Part 5 Of Quite Possibly Infinity

January 3, 2018

Hello my lovelies.  Firstly, thanks for hanging in, I know this is long but, you have to be aware of everything or it’s just boring.  Second, could you let me know you are reading this cuz while I am happy to write for myself, questions and stuff always get my juices flowing and truthfully this is a tremendously huge trial, like Manson huge and I already know it.  I know a lot of things you may not. Much like Colette’s brother bill, I have followed every court filing since this became a thing and I was pretty young when this became a thing.  I have an accordion file stretched way past it’s limitations.  I have a couple of letters from people who worked with him who assure me he seemed like a completely normal human type person.  Oh, they totally believe he did it now, but they would not have bet on it back then.   I’ve got court transcripts, which cost a fucking fortune by the way even way back then. I cut a LOT of lawns to get those transcripts.

Renae, I know this is semi personal for you so if you would share what you know about him  outside of the I killed my whole family person it might be helpful but only if you are comfortable with that and we still love you no matter what. Also, if this is hard for you because you knew him I am really sorry.  Like sincerely because I would not hurt you on purpose for anything.   I get it.  It would be like mama going out and climbing a clock tower.  None of us would believe it cuz we know her.

Also I am running out of things to call Macfuckface which is a thing that has never happened before and scares me a little.

Okay, I’m going to go out of order for a minute because there are a few things I left out that you need to know.  First, the only blood found in the living room was one speck of blood that belonged to Kristen the youngest on his glasses and MacDoesn’tsatanwantthisfuckerbackyet swore on three separate occasions he was not wearing his glasses when he checked the children they had been lost during the EPIC struggle in the living room.  Blood drops, almost non existent but enough to type were found on the bathroom sink in front of the mirror where one might stand to insert say a scalpel in between a couple of ribs.  Blood type B.  I’ll let you figure out who had the B type blood.  It will make it more fun.  There were zero, none, nada, zip, keine, bila, blue fibres from the FEROCIOUS struggle found in the living room.  Oh that last one is Swahili just in case you were wondering. Same goes for club splinters.  Not a single one.  80 million in the master bedroom but none in the living room.  The lighting in the living room was such that it would have been impossible to see anything but silhouettes.  PERIOD.  stripes, colors, wigs, boots, BULLSHIT.  Didn’t happen.

Now, it is a very rare thing for a family of four to all have different blood types.  The CID said one in ten Thousand.   That sounded high so I checked. That statement is accurate.  And guess what.  Jeffy’s family happened to be that one in ten thousand.  All four people had different blood types and boy did the blood have a story to tell.  Even if Jeff wasn’t going to give it up, and he wasn’t. Not then, not now, not ever the blood did the talking and it had a most horrible story to tell.   We will get to that soon.  And yes I am avoiding it.

Here is a little factoid that not many people know.  Jeffy fucked around on Colette fourteen times that she knew about and I’m thinking number 15 was probably what made her whack him with that hairbrush and start the beginning of the end of her life.  Those 14 are not conjecture they are fact.

So instead of writing out a very complicated explanation of the blood analysis here is paul Stombaugh, the leader in the field  of blood analysis to do it for me because quite frankly I just don’t want to write it.

Let me know when you are done, I’ll wait.  I’m bawling right now, not gonna lie, can you imagine being this father and having to sit through this because he has no other purpose but to put his child’s murderer behind bars. If you believe in such things,  Freddy Kassab is in heaven now with his daughter and his grandchildren and his wife.  It was because of the single mindedness of this one man that they got him.

I’ll be back with more later, I’ll just let you digest what this man went through to get his daughters killer for a minute and I have to collect myself a bit.

RBMD hoping Jeffy dies of some incurable anal venereal disease that really fucking hurts and Peacing the fuck out

EDIT: CRIME SCENE PHOTO’S YES OR NO BECAUSE I HAVE THEM AND THEY ARE PRETTY FUCKING BAD.  ACTUALLY THAT IS A COMPLETE AND UTTER LIE.  THEY LEFT PRETTY FUCKING BAD AND WENT STRAIGHT TO HOW IN THE FUCK COULD ANYBODY EVER DO THIS.

 


Help Me And My Brother Just Got Home From The Movies And My Parents Have Been Shot…Nope That’s Not It…Oh Yeah The Hippies Did It. Part Four

January 2, 2018

Hello my lovelies.  You are going to want to hang on to your Pretoria puke buckets, I think much puking is going to be involved in this portion of our program.  Apparently absolute incredulousness can also make one spontaneously vomit.  You have been warned.

So, The CID decided they had enough to hold what is known as an article 32 hearing which is basically the army version of a grand jury.  Now I kid you not even a little when I say that the army had royally fucked up the crime scene.  if someone had turned loose a herd of free range cattle the result would have been about the same.  That being said, the army  is nothing if not scrupulously thorough about niggly little details that are apt to come back to bite one directly in the ass.  For example, it was a rainy night, like torrentially rainy.  So, the acid is groovy kill the pigs hippies were out wandering in the torrential downpour with a candle and all of them  (don’t forget the extra 3 that were killing the family while Jeffrey MacIhateyousofuckinghardpieceofshit was fighting for his life in the living room did not track one little tiny bit of water or mud into the house.  Nor did they track it in and clean it up cuz guess what?  The army checked for water wipe marks.  There weren’t any.  The article 32 was a bust and he was declared neither guilty or innocent just that there was insufficient evidence to proceed to court martial.

Freddy in the mean time was still on the Jeffrey is innocent band wagon, and then Dick Cavett happened.  Dick Cavett for those of you who didn’t ride dinosaurs to Sunday School was a late night talk show host.

Here is a linky to actual interview on Cavett 

Earlier in the day Freddy had told Jeffrey that he had a magazine that was willing to follow him around for several months and blow the whole thing wide open and Jeffrey asked about how much of his expenses they were willing to pay.  Freddy understandably was somewhat taken aback.   He had also been hounding Jeffy for a copy of he article 32 hearing and Jeffy was saying stupid shit like he’d get court martialed.  Which of course was bullshit, but of all the people on the entire planet Freddy Kassab was probably the last person on earth Jeffrey wanted to have a copy of that hearing.  For very good reason.

Jeffrey MacIamthebiggestcocksuckerthateverlived went on Dick Cavett and he um, exaggerated if by exaggerate you go with outright lied.  He said he had 23 potentially life threatening wounds, he was in intensive care, he had surgery blah blah blah.  Freddy remembers seeing him in the hospital the night it happened sitting up eating dinner with not so much as Mecurochrome on him.  Superficial scratches and a pneumothorax.  PS I hate that word.

Then Freddy got the article 32 transcripts and that my friends is when Freddy Kassab, who had stood before the army and said if he had another daughter he would want he same son in law, discovered that he had made a very grievous error in judgement.  HUGE.   Freddy Kassab was a man of singular purpose.  It had taken him far in life, no matter what he did, his total focus on whatever it was, was truly something to behold.  He first went through the article 32 transcripts and came up with a list of 123 statements that he knew to be outright lies.  Like this shit never, ever happened.  There were more statements that were less than believable at best, like the part where he said he did the dishes.  Both Freddy and Mildred had known Jeffrey since he was fourteen years old and both of them knew they had never seen him do a dish in all that time.

Freddy had a talk with Mildred, one she did not want to hear and promised her that if Jeffrey MacDickintheass had done it, he would not rest until he proved it and justice was done for Colette, Kimmie, and Kristen and baby male fetus.

His next stop was fort brag where he was allowed access to the apartment that had been sealed up for all this time due to the ongoing investigation and was greeted with the bloodstains and smells that never go away of his now long dead family.  He never waivered.  He went through every word Macdiefuckerdie had to say at the article 32 and came out now completely convinced that the son in law he had loved like his own child had slaughtered his daughter and her children.

In the living room in particular he saw the scope of Jeffrey’s lies.  There were some valentines atop a credenza standing up.  Freddy asked if they had been moved or stood back up or anything like that.  When it was confirmed that this was a negative he stamped his feet twice hard and the cards fell down.  Just from stamping his feet.  He proved to the army guys that it would have been impossible to see anything in the light of the living room.  Hair color, skin color, hell he couldn’t tell which CID officer was which in that light.

At the end of the walk through they asked Freddy if he was satisfied.  He said he was.  I’m satisfied that my son in law murdered my daughter and her children.  They explained to him that it was going to be an uphill battle to which Freddy Kassab, who was an extraordinary man told them he planned to live a long life and he had the patience of Job.  Turned out both were true.

Tomorrow tune in for blood evidence, crazy odds, and a pyjama top that just would not go away.

Reallybigmeandog peacing the fuck out.

PS keep the puke buckets handy.

 


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(Totally fictional) Drama Queen Stories

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Varmt News Network

It's the Internet.

peskyvarmt

Just another WordPress.com site

Asleep in Left Field-My Life

4 out of 5 Friends recommend this WordPress.com site

Out in left field

(Totally fictional) Drama Queen Stories

CALLS FOR JUSTICE

sometimes, there are monsters walking amongst us