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It’s The End Of The World As We Know It And I Don’t Have a Fuck To Give…

August 14, 2017

 

Hello everybody. Your resident sarcasm expert and Queen of all I survey has decided to come out of her fallout shelter long enough to see if the planet is still a planet or is now a blackened, burned out shell. Spoiler alert: as of this writing it appears to still be a planet, but it is moment to moment.
I have a question for everybody that voted for Trump. Still feeling good about that vote? Still think this is the guy to take you where you want to be? If where you want to be is dead, then YAY, good choice.
I have not had television for about two weeks.   I got it turned back on today and all that is all over the news are the usual trials and tribulations of the USA  courtesy of the orange twat waffle that rules you all.
I have to hand it to him though. Trying to start a nuclear war does manage to take away from the fact that you colluded with Russia. It also takes away from the fact that most of the people you hand picked to “DRAIN THE SWAMP” have no desire to drain anything because they are part of the glorious eco-system that IS the swamp. Rich people and war mongers that are going to send your children to fight a war that they start so they can distract you from the fact that you put a rich, misogynistic, racist, moronic, cro-magnon, draft dodging piece of human excrement into the position of highest power in your country. He has no desire to help anyone but himself and the rich. He has no desire to do anything to help women, or help the poor, or the environment, or animals (unless of course the animals are being grown for fur or leather for his daughters fashion collection.) His idea of making America great again is getting women back into dresses and high heels all the time, bringing back fossil fuels, and reversing himself on every single campaign promise he made and keeping the migrant workers that will actual deign to do the jobs that your people don’t want to do out of the country. The president of the USA charged the secret service right out of one of his buildings because he has decided that rules pertaining to conflicts of interest do not apply to him and kept all his assets. Oh the money the president is making, while slashing and burning anything that might help the less fortunate. Good for you guys.
So for those of you that think Drumpf is the greatest thing to ever happen to your country I give you this…
Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Please read that a couple of times and extrapolate what it really, really means.  For those that did not know, the title of this sonnet is The New Colossus and is  inscribed on a plaque on the fucking Statue of Liberty. That beacon of hope that anyone who can’t trace their lineage back to the mayflower’s family member saw when they IMMIGRATED to the fucking country you now reside in. So what should it really say, now that the rose colored glasses that the rest of the world viewed you with have been ripped off and crushed under the boot of your dear leader? Give us your tired (as long as they aren’t old, or sick, or non-white) your poor (but only if they aren’t so poor that they cannot support themselves at all times for ever and never have bad luck or get sick or anything) your huddled masses yearning to breathe free (but don’t get ahead of yourselves, those masses can only be like maybe masses of two or three. Okay five to seven as long as they are all from white countries. breathing however doesn’t come free, you will need a lot of money to be able to gain entry here, and don’t even think about breathing any of our air if you are Muslim…or Mexican…or gay…or transgendered…or sick…um, you get the idea right?
I have a huge shocker for all y’all. You never needed to be great again. You most assuredly do now, but before you elected the speaking orangutan, your country was the one everyone looked to on the world stage as the single greatest country on the planet. Now you are the biggest joke on the planet, except we are all so frightened nobody is laughing. Nobody is laughing, except for Trump. Of course if anybody calls him on it he will just yell fake news, taken out of context or whatever the wheel of excuses lands on when he spins it for the roughly six hundred and forty seven thousand nine hundred and eighteenth time.
Anybody want to make book on what day WWIII starts? We are dealing with two toddlers with nuclear capability so somebody will win and everybody will lose.
Really Big Mean Dog peacing the fuck out!!

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You Know That Saying Where There Is Smoke There is Fire? Well Sometimes There Is Just Really Good BBQ Or Somebody Is Smoking.

April 3, 2017

Hello my lovelies.  Put on your tinfoil hats and cover the cameras on your laptops, your Dean of Fuckery has dug to China and I have some answers for you.

Regarding the figurative  trail of dead bodies that the Clintons have allegedly left behind them I have discovered a couple of things.  Out of over a hundred people that are dead, there is one that is maybe a little hinky and this person was like the dentists brothers cousins friend that is how close he was to the Clintons.  All others deaths that have been attributed to nefarious causes were either A) natural deaths like heart attacks and pneumonia or B)Suicides, or C) mechanical or equipment failure.  Now there was one medical examiner who cut a lot of corners with all his dead bodies not just the ones that had any kind of tenuous connections to the Clintons which is where a lot of this started I think.   Bodies had to be dug up and re-autopsied which is both sad and gross but in the end all of the dead that are actually people were A dead, and B an actual cause of death was issued.  There are several that flat out do not even exist, I think those were just thrown in to pad the numbers.  There were also  plane crashes due to pilot error, and  a cesna crash due to mechanical failure.

My question going into this was why is Monica Lewinski alive if all of these other people who quite literally could have done nothing to the Clintons are dead?  My answer remains the same.  Because this shit just never happened.  If you ever crossed paths with a Clinton at a fund raiser, a charity event or political event or he movies or at the dentist or the doctors or the grocery store and you died you are suddenly a part of some fucking cover-up?  Nope, the amount of people that you meet when you are a public figure is just exponentially bigger than if you are a private person.

So to put this to bed much like Pizza-gate(which by the way was never really a thing, just another conspiracy theory) THIS SHIT NEVER HAPPENED.  I mean people did die, but not because the Clintons have a hit squad, just because they died or they had shit luck and their plane went down.

Now I have spent way to much time and wasted way to many brain cells just to satisfy my own curiosity so while we are on the subject I am going to clear up a few other things.

  1. We really landed on the moon.
  2. It is not made of cheese
  3. the twin towers were brought down by two planes not internal implosions
  4. Elvis is dead
  5. Kurt Cobain is dead
  6. I will have to get back to you on area 51
  7. To the best of the scientific community’s  knowledge at large, aliens do not live among us, probably because of shit like this.
  8. You are more likely to die by being kicked to death by a pissed of Kangaroo than be killed because of a conspiracy. (I just made that last part up, but basically it is true.)

Hope that helps every one out and we can get back to reality…Sorry actually it might be more comforting to just keep your tinfoil hats on and keep your cameras covered reality being what it is at the moment.

Anyway, that is about 25 hours of my life I won’t ever get back but rest assured, I turned over every rock, kicked every tire and even took a couple of good stories out for a drive.  Nothing holds water, none of it.  Unless you want it to, in which case rock on with your bad self and Hide from the Clintons. They know you know.  OMGLOLROFLMAO.

RBMD Peacing the Fuck Out.


I Love A Good Conspiracy Theory

March 30, 2017

trump meme

Hello my lovelies.  Your Dean of Fuckery/Law Professor/Doctor of Doctoring/Honorary DVM/ Animal Lactation Expert/Certified Rabies Free RBMD/ all around bad assed bitch and Queen of all I Survey is once again back to bring you a couple of things.

First, I would like to tell you about a friend of mine on Twitter. Ann has been my friend for quite a while and while we differ on our opinion of the current President (she is and has always been a Trump supporter) she is also a wonderful human being who has a broad enough mind to change it if the evidence presents itself to her satisfaction. I respect that the same way she respects that I would do the same. We had a very interesting conversation today about something that has nothing to do with the current state of fail in the US but about a trail of bodies that seem to be following the Clintons around.

I was immediately intrigued because I had no idea and I am usually up on things of this nature. I started to dig a little and my first stop was Snopes which firmly debunked where this is going. Still, I was bothered by a few things so I disregarded Snopes for the moment and began to search deeper. A lot deeper and decided that this does indeed warrant an investigation of some kind. It may amount to nothing, as a matter of course it will probably amount to nothing, but you don’t know if you don’t look and I love a good conspiracy.
Thank you Ann for the idea and also for accepting my findings whatever they may be.

The in-house Psychic is mad at me because she is apparently bored. You can only read the dogs minds so many times apparently, and while I do have that whole indentured servitude thing it is only polite to throw the poor psychic thing a bone once in a while. She keeps waking up screaming that the small animal on Trumps head is begging for help, so even if she can’t get a lock on him we can see what the head animal has to say.

Last but definitely not least I have been working on a Donald Trump Presidential Dictionary. Please look for it soon. I believe it is almost complete.

I hope everyone is well. My love to you all my no kill shelter friends.
RBMD peacing the fuck out.


World Of War Craft – Bad Hombre Expansion Pack Edition

March 28, 2017

This is about as fitting as it gets I think.

Alt Title:  the 2017 just waiting for the last horsemen of the apocalypse to show up so we can start to watch the world burn edition.

…current location, my zombie apocalypse/now nuclear fallout shelter stocking up on diesel for my very first nuclear winter.

Hi Everyone. Your Dean of Fuckery/resident sarcasm expert/honorary DVM/ Doctor of doctoring/certified rabies free RBMD/law professor/pretend judge/friend of all animals, especially whatever poor creature is living on Trumps head/Queen of all I survey, and all around nasty woman is back for another edition of RBMD.

As some of you may have guessed, I firmly believe this is going to be the final year of the existence of the planet. Since I have not yet figured out how to cut a continent literally in half, or thirds if South America is in, I thought I might as well talk about the Donald Trump shit show.

For those of you that are unaware, Canada, your polite, sensible northern friends are smack dab in the middle of you and Russia. Most of us up here in Canada land that don’t already speak Russian don’t really feel that they want to learn Russian and we are concerned. So before Russia annexes North Carolina or something I thought we should talk.   Of course when WWIII starts, we will be there having your backs, just like we have with every other stupid WW, we will bleed with you, we will die with you, we will mourn with you, and we will curse the rich fuckers whose children will not be in the fray just like it has been since time began because the rich and power hungry start the wars, they don’t fight them.

Civil war in your country is also a very large concern for us. Mostly because we like you. We can’t figure out how any of this happened, not for the life of us, but we like you.( not that it matters to most of you)  It is like some horrible nightmare that nobody can wake up from.

Donald Trump I have decided is either insane, or more likely he is a sociopath.  Just wondering for all you yuuuuuge fans of the insane oompa lompa troll, how IS all that winning going for ya?

Lets look at some facts shall we?  Oh come on don’t be afraid,{ it will be fine I promise.}  That there is a representation of a lie.  Not an alternative fact or fake news, I just lied.  It won’t be fine.  Not by a fucking long shot.  Alternative facts are lies for those of you that haven’t figured that out yet.  Please keep up or you will have to stay after class.  I’d say the misogynistic, xenophobic, woman hating, pussy grabbing, federal tax avoiding, illegal immigrant employing, Chinese steel purchasing, incest in his heart having, orange faced mother fucker might be just a little more of an alternative fact giver than originally thought. Just sayin’.

Raise your hand if this sounds familiar.  “I will IMMEDIATELY repeal and replace Obamacare”.  That one went in the LOSE column.  Also who knew healthcare was so hard?  I did.  My kid did.  Pretty sure my dog did.  That guy running your country not so much.

Let us try another one.  I will be to busy working for you, the American people to be on the golf course all the time like Obama.  Really?  13 times since he took office.  So another trump Alternative fact.

So far, you, the American taxpayers have paid 11.2 million, FUCKING MILLION on secret service for the Trumps.  That is one months worth.  NOT an alternative fact a real live one.  That is almost the entire bill for the Obamas for an entire year.

How’s that wall coming?  I just called Mexico to see but El Presidente was too busy laughing to take my call.

Extra Credit:  I don’t have any ties with Russia.  OMFGROFLMFAO  Can anyone say brokering 500 BILLION dollar deal with a company that has sanctions against it.  Oh wait, that would be treason wouldn’t it?  Right?  Do they still give the firing squad for acts of treason? Just wondering.

America, if I were you I would take the most famous Trump quote ever and tell the fucker “YOU’RE FIRED.

What a fucking clusterfuck shitshow this is turning into.  I’d make popcorn because I am one of those people that would find the world burning amusing, but I need the popcorn in my bunker.

Secret directions will be sent to all members of the no kill shelter.  Bring your dogs, bring your horses, bring your kids, I’m iffy on spouses, they may have to pass a comprehensive entry into my bunker written exam.  Or some shit like that.

RBMD peacing the fuck out.


Welcome To The United STATE Of New Korea. Supreme Leader Trump Edition.

January 23, 2017

Hai my lovelies.  Tis me, your intrepid Dean of Fuckery, Law Professor, Doctor of Doctoring, honorary Judge, Puppy resuscitation expert, Dog Lactation consultant, Horse Whisperer, Owner of the In House Psychic, Alternative news (see real news) supporter, Big Fan of Human Rights and the US constitution, and Queen of all I survey.

The video of the day is brought to you with Russian subtitles so you can get used to Cyrillic writing and shit.

I am so excited for New Korea.  Your supreme leader just declared the day of his inauguration 1/20/2017 “National Day of Patriotic Devotion” (seriously). cancelled everyone’s healthcare, killed the TPP, decided that starting a war with the indigenous native population over a pipeline is a really good idea,  lied about the turnout for his dictatorshiptorial debut, started a war with the media, decided the secretary of education doesn’t actually require one, gave big businesses  huge, or should I say YUUUUGE tax breaks and drained the swamp of whatever was in it and filled it back up with Nile crocodiles with necrotizing fasciitis shooting lasers on their heads. Welcome to 1817 everybody.  YAY!!

Someone tell me again how a government led by a guy that has gone bankrupt 11 times and filled with billionaire members is a good idea?

So here is my theory on what is next on the Trump agenda.  Deciding that allowing peons to call the white house to complain or ask questions should no longer be allowed because negativity and stuff…Oh,wait he did that already.  Black people will once again be required to ride at the back of the bus and they will like it dammit.   All Latino’s will be immediately deported.  DNA testing will become mandatory at birth so that the Government can make sure you are positively, completely white. Indigenous people must immediately assimilate or be summarily shot.  All Muslims will immediately be interred in camps with really nice showers.  All women will immediately throw away their shoes and become pregnant, or if too old to become pregnant they will be offered the choice of assisted suicide because their usefulness is over.  If you are a millionaire you will get a pardon, as long as you know your place.  Spousal rape will be legalized because you can’t rape someone you are married to.  Pussy grabbing will be added as an Olympic Sport.  Homosexuals will have a chance to pray the gay away and if it doesn’t work they will be interred with the Muslims or offered assisted suicide because the only reason to be alive is to procreate and if you can’t do that you are obsolete.

Your great leader will import every Rottweiler, pitbull, mastiff, and leopard dog from the entire world to help herd the Mexican race back to Mexico.  Religion will become mandatory, but the new bible will be the art of the deal and you will worship at the alter of Trump.  Since Trump is now a god and church all of his earnings will be non-taxable.  All detractors will be arrested and put into chain gangs building that fucking wall.   All homes will become property of Trump holdings.

Scientists will be reassigned to jobs that are actually important.  If they refuse they will be offered immediate assisted suicide…with a rifle.

The phrase climate change will no longer be allowed to be uttered.  Fines will be a minimum of ten thousand dollars for each separate instance.  Differently weathered will be an acceptable alternative.

Anyone who cannot afford medical care is now allowed to be seen by a veterinarian if they can afford that.  Veterinarians are now will be allowed to perform human procedures if they want too.  If they don’t the Supreme leader suggests you hurry up and die.

Barack Hussein Obama shall be removed from all texts, literature, historical references, et al.  So let it be written, so let it be done.

Enjoy your new dictatorship kids.  Hope it was worth it.  The land of the used to be free and the home of the slaves.

RBMD shaking her fucking head and peacing the fuck out.

 


Oh I Think Urine Trouble Now You Cheeto Dusted Whore Monger.

January 11, 2017

 

Hello my loyal subjects.  It is me; your Dean of Fuckery, Law Professor, Dr. of Doctoring, puppy resuscitation expert, lactation consultant, resident sarcasm expert and as always Your Royal Highness, Queen of all I survey.

This from Renae, a fascinating read.

golden-showers-bring-may-flowers

And with that, I leave you this.

your new President elect Ladies and Gentlemen

 

RBMD peacing the fuck out.

 


Everybody Needs To Calm The Fuck Down

November 10, 2016

Your Dean of Fuckery/sarcasm expert/Law Professor/pretend judge/Dr. of doctoring/DVM/puppy resuscitation expert/ and Queen of all I survey needs to talk to her loyal subjects.

I know that many of you are unhappy about the outcome of the election…except for Eunice who is thrilled. Unfortunately this is how democracy works and everyone’s job now is to accept it with grace and start to figure out what the fuck went wrong and get ready to fix it in 4 years.

I hate the very idea of Donald Trump in case any of you missed it. I hate what he is, I hate what he represents as a human being and I hate the fact that nobody seemed to be able to see that he is as entitled a fucker as anyone else that has run for office. I don’t blame the people though. I blame the DNC. I blame them because truly, Bernie Sanders was a much better choice for candidate and had he been nominated he would have won. Unfortunately as we have come to find out, the DNC decided that Hillary was a better bet and put their money on the wrong horse.

Neither candidate was a good choice. I would have preferred to see you elect someone who isn’t so blatant about his racism/xenophobia/hatred for women, but it is what it is.

Protesting, rioting in the streets, etc. is going to accomplish nothing and quite frankly it brings everyone down to the level that I would have expected from his camp had the win been reversed.

I still think you are pretty much fucked. However, I think it is only fair that since he has won the election that he is given a chance to prove what kind of President he will be.

I have concerns that the “outsider” has already surrounded himself with so many insiders and so very many right wing nutters. There is right wing and then there are people like Mike Pence and the ex goblin king of New York. Still, we all have to wait and see. Freaking the fuck out is going to do nothing but drive you all to Xanax and hug therapy.

I am still very scared, as are most Canadians because what happens to you effects us.

So let the Trump supporters gloat. Let the Trump supporters that are actual normal people be. I know some and they are perfectly nice people. Not everyone who voted for him is a cross burning asshole.

To all the women in the States, I am really sorry about all the shit that is about to happen to you. To all the Latino’s that are not rapist murdering drug dealing bad hombres (which is like probably 99%) I’m sorry for the harassment you are about to face. To the Muslims that just want to live in peace I don’t even know what to say because sorry just doesn’t cut it and to everyone else, just live your life to the best of your ability until we see what is going to happen. Remember, Trump has a court case to attend to before he is ever sworn in, there is always impeachment if it comes down to it and truly, I think you are better off with him running the shit then Pence running it. Unless you want to go back to the stone age. Then Pence is just the guy.

It is okay to be scared, it isn’t okay to let it take over.

As always from Canada, much love to you all
RBMD peacing the fuck out.


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musings of a dangerous mind

peskyvarmt

Just another WordPress.com site

Asleep in Left Field-My Life

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Out in left field

(Totally fictional) Drama Queen Stories

CALLS FOR JUSTICE

sometimes, there are monsters walking amongst us

Behind The Words... With Kim

Examining the minds and actions of female killers

Varmt News Network

It's the Internet.

Just Da Truth!

musings of a dangerous mind

peskyvarmt

Just another WordPress.com site

Asleep in Left Field-My Life

4 out of 5 Friends recommend this WordPress.com site

Out in left field

(Totally fictional) Drama Queen Stories

CALLS FOR JUSTICE

sometimes, there are monsters walking amongst us