I don’t know where Mean is, but I am Queen of that region now. All Hail HRM Queen Kelly. YAY!!
As you all know, today was a down day in Maricopa County Court because why not! I figured I was going to be writing a blog about something else. Stabby being the altruistic um…thing that she is, and obviously aware of my sadness over not being able to continue to point out exactly how full of shit she is, had this written just so that I could indeed continue to point out how full of shit she is.
Here is what appeared on some site that is run for Stabby. Unfortunately, whoever was taking shorthand didn’t do a very good job, I decided to fix it for her. Consider it MY charitable act of the day. My corrections will appear in bold italics.
Here’s an interesting (I dunno, just put in some Einstein-y sounding word here) dichotomy: Sheriff Joe, who is a purported proponent of charity, prohibits acts of charity among the inmates in his charge.(That is actually a bald faced lie, Sheriff Joe does not allow the passing of commissary because it is usually used in payment for something like drugs or crayons, or things to hide in my wonder holes.) It’s a rule—one I recently broke. I gave food to someone(so I could grab some more press making myself look wholesome and good, bwahahahahaha I wonder which of the idiots will buy that) who was hungry. It wasn’t much(because why give away a bunch of good stuff when a little thing will do the same job,) just a snack. Of course, this doesn’t make me a saint(OMG LOL I don’t believe I am actually getting someone to write that) (not that there would be any confusion—many misguided(no they’re not, but don’t tell them) souls believe I’m the devil incarnate). Who wouldn’t spare a little food for someone who was hungry?(Well, normally I wouldn’t, but Hello. Sympathy vote ) No brainer there.
Yet true to the adage “No good deed goes unpunished,” my random act of(using someone else to my advantage) kindness resulted in “restriction,” meaning no phone calls (except legal) and no canteen. The latter is where the crux of the irony lies. I chose( to break a rule that I was very aware was in place because rules don’t apply to me) to give food to someone who was hungry, and for that I was punished(in the exact same way that every other prisoner is) by being made to go hungry(that is totally not true, we all know it is a human rights violation to withhold food, I just don’t like nutri-loaf. Put that in anyway, most of the idiots will believe whatever I say)—on Thanksgiving, no less. For(using another inmate to get myself some press) giving. Because my giving was in violation of a rule that at first blush seems absurd.
The rule was not created arbitrarily, however. Some inmates pass weapons or drugs. Others(and by others I mean me) use canteen as currency, offering it as payment for pills, tattoos, and other unmentionables. Almost invariably, a fight breaks out on canteen day over someone failing to pay their debt(which is yet another reason I am very happy that I pulled this off.) You wouldn’t believe the drama that can escalate over a 75-cent bag of chips. The rule was put in place to curtail, if only somewhat successfully, security risks such as these, not to keep hungry people hungry. But rather than split hairs and run the risk of showing bias, (don’t tell them that a jail is not a democracy and rules are rules) it’s a blanket rule that applies equally to everyone in theory, not so much in practice. (Not really but that makes it sound like I have been centered out for punishment without saying it).
Well, I can’t let someone(that I can use to my advantage) go hungry if I’m in a position to help. I just can’t. I don’t like feeling hungry, do you? (actually, I don’t like feeling horny and I need to eat to compensate.) I love (taking it up the ass) food. I’m munching on a green apple as I write this. (Wait, maybe don’t put that because they will realize that my punishment was not in any way severe) Does this justify my breaking a rule? (Of course it doesn’t, but I’m Stabby Einstein so I can whine if I want too.) That would depend on whom you’re asking. Any officer with the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office (MCSO), if going on the record, would tell you that breaking a rule, even one classified as “minor,” such as in this case, is never justified. Writer Martha Beck (who has nothing to do with this but the quote makes me sound all noble and shit) offers us a different perspective. In this quote, she very eloquently explains the state of my heart:
If everyone kept all the rules, we’d still be practicing cherished traditions like child marriage, slavery, and public hangings. The way humans become humane is by assessing from the heart, rather than the rule book, where the justice of a situation lies. Sometimes, (like whenever I can use it to my advantage) you have to break the rules around you in order to keep the rules within you—my emphasis.
I’m not (OMG YES I AM. Hope everyone forgets that I was growing pot, and hurt a dog, and killed a guy in cold blood) a ruler-breaker by nature, but I sometimes go against the grain, even when it chafes. As the reality settled in that my giving in this instance would not lead to receiving (like it did when I’d say give a blowie or some good anal), as karmic law says it should, but would lead to a loss(like that time when I missed out on cinnabon,) the seeming poetic justice gave me pause. It was like anti-karma.
The Hearing Sergeant(who I would totally let finger bang me in exchange for a sharpie) came to see me about the incident two days later, just as SRT (Special Response Team) was picking me up for court. Half-jokingly, one of the officers asked me, (are you ever going to figure out that YOU don’t make the rules) “What have you learned from this situation?” I’m sure this wasn’t the answer they were expecting, (and it is totally not what I said, but it makes me sound good doesn’t it?) but the lesson was clear: “No charitable acts at Estrella.”
– Stabby Einstein.
I hope she appreciates the effort I put in to fixing a very obviously erroneous post. She should fire whoever is running that site.
In other news, Alfred E has filed motioned number eleventy billion to have the death penalty removed since her mitigation witnesses don’t want to testify in open court. Isn’t that…odd. Three people, and not one of them is willing to testify in open court. Wonder if they might be worried that someone who knows they are lying may come forward to say they are lying. Court Chatter got the scoop on one, Marc McGee. Here is the link to Court Chatter http://www.courtchatter.com/2014/12/jodi-arias-another-mystery-witness.html?spref=tw
I have seen posts by someone going by the name of Marc McGee who has been posting for over a year on Facebook. In one he said to paraphrase that Stabby already killed a guy and did Juan want to be the guy trying to kill her? He is very obviously in love with being the center of attention. Other witnesses are allegedly Matt McCartney and a former co-worker.
That is it for right now. Really Big Mean Dog peacing the fuck out.
Spare some change for a poor sad street urchin?