Your Dean Of Fuckery Can Now Add Songwriter To My CV. ( a blog thanks to Truly)

April 6, 2017

Hello My lovelies.  Your Dean of Fuckery, Law Professor, Doctor of Doctoring,  Animal lactation consultant, Certified Rabies Free RBMD, Resident sarcasm expert, Pretend Judge, owner of one in house Psychic, Queen of all I survey and now Song Writer extraordinaire has come up with a new song thanks to Truly.

I realize it is not a real blog post, but it is better than nothing (at least sort of).

Without further carryings on, I give you  “The Shelter Got High” Original lyrics by RBMD.

Thanks Truly for the idea.  Totally needed to get out of the political mind space I’ve been in.
I was thinking bout politics until I got high, I decided that they are all dicks because I got high, can’t think what I should write about and I know why, ya ha because I got high, because I got high, because I got high
I was gonna find us a trial but then I got high.  It was gonna beat stabs by a mile until I got high, Now I don’t have a blog and I know why ya man, because I got high, because I got high, Because I got high la-da-da-da-da-de-da,
The in-house Psychic spoke up because she was high, no more posts about Trump she said cuz she’s sly.  She threw in the Clintons too and I know why yeah haaa because she was high, because she was high, because she was high.
 The no kill shelter joined in, Because you were high, Lots of good thoughts were coined because you were high, Truly had an idea and I know why, do so, because she was high, because she was high, because she was high, la da da da da de da
I figured this would be hard before I got high,  there were thoughts I had to discard because I was high, Finally decided to just write this, we all know why,  yahaaaa, Because I’m High, because I’m high, because I’m high.
I know that you’re all gonna like it because you’re all high,  or you might all think it’s just shit because you’re all high, I couldn’t give a fuck and you know why, yeah, because I’m still high, because I’m still high, because I’m still high.
For anybody that’s kind of thick I’m not really high, might as well cut this off quick because I’m not high, don’t bother to report this because it won’t fly yeah haaa, I’m not really high, I’m not really high, I’m not really high.
It’s just a fucking song because we were bored, turn it into what ever you want the Big Dog roared.  We don’t give a fuck and that’s for sure yeah man because we’re not high, because we’re not high, because we’re not high.
So there we have it kids.  One non-political, somewhat amusing, song writing effort by your Dean of Fuckery.  Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Really Big Mean Dog Peacing the fuck out.



I Love A Good Conspiracy Theory

March 30, 2017

trump meme

Hello my lovelies.  Your Dean of Fuckery/Law Professor/Doctor of Doctoring/Honorary DVM/ Animal Lactation Expert/Certified Rabies Free RBMD/ all around bad assed bitch and Queen of all I Survey is once again back to bring you a couple of things.

First, I would like to tell you about a friend of mine on Twitter. Ann has been my friend for quite a while and while we differ on our opinion of the current President (she is and has always been a Trump supporter) she is also a wonderful human being who has a broad enough mind to change it if the evidence presents itself to her satisfaction. I respect that the same way she respects that I would do the same. We had a very interesting conversation today about something that has nothing to do with the current state of fail in the US but about a trail of bodies that seem to be following the Clintons around.

I was immediately intrigued because I had no idea and I am usually up on things of this nature. I started to dig a little and my first stop was Snopes which firmly debunked where this is going. Still, I was bothered by a few things so I disregarded Snopes for the moment and began to search deeper. A lot deeper and decided that this does indeed warrant an investigation of some kind. It may amount to nothing, as a matter of course it will probably amount to nothing, but you don’t know if you don’t look and I love a good conspiracy.
Thank you Ann for the idea and also for accepting my findings whatever they may be.

The in-house Psychic is mad at me because she is apparently bored. You can only read the dogs minds so many times apparently, and while I do have that whole indentured servitude thing it is only polite to throw the poor psychic thing a bone once in a while. She keeps waking up screaming that the small animal on Trumps head is begging for help, so even if she can’t get a lock on him we can see what the head animal has to say.

Last but definitely not least I have been working on a Donald Trump Presidential Dictionary. Please look for it soon. I believe it is almost complete.

I hope everyone is well. My love to you all my no kill shelter friends.
RBMD peacing the fuck out.

How Does A Country Feel When It Is Grabbed By The Pussy?

December 29, 2016

Hello subjects. Tis your intrepid leader, dean of fuckery, law professor, doctor of doctoring, honorary DVM, puppy resuscitation expert, dog lactation expert, horse whisperer, owner of contract of indentured servitude, and her most royal highness and queen of all I survey.

This little ditty is translated to Flower of Carnage.  It is in Japanese but it is beautiful and haunting and just perfect I think.

2016 has been one for the books hasn’t it. Likely the last one of any book ever since it’s the beginning of the end of the world. We are all invited to Renae’S house to watch the nuclear launches by the way. BYOB. or BYOW. Or BYOBAW. Fuck it, I say we all bring our meds and just throw em all in a big bowl.

I was finally able to move 1984 by George Orwell to the non fiction section of my personal library so that is now off of my bucket list. Actually the 0range horseman of the apocalypse had made me speed up my bucket list exponentially. All I have left are a Mexican standoff with actual Mexicans, bear fight using only a buck knife, having a heart to heart with Kanye West and making him understand what an insufferable douchebag he really is, shooting a Kardashian in the ass just to see if it deflates, and riding in one last horseshow. Obviously I just added the horseshow one since I only just discovered I can still ride. I think probably they are all doable except for the very last one. I don’t think I have the confidence to ride in a show ever again, I’d probably freak the fuck out or be so tense the horse would sense it and I’d ruin the experience for my show partner.

Then there is my private locked behind two safe doors written in coded invisible ink bucket list. It only has four things on it and when the day comes(and it will) that we find out the world is going to be blown up within the next twelve hours I’m going to check off everyone of them…well depending on traffic. At least three of them.

I’m so convinced that Trump marks the beginning of the end of world that I have even drawn up emancipation papers for the in house psychic. Hell she may as well enjoy a couple of hours of freedom or whatever we are living under is supposed to be.

So, let us recap 2016 shall we. The abridged version or else we will be here until Trump fires the first warhead.

Let us start with the fucking English since as a Scot it is my duty to hate them and David Cameron. The Panama Papers (just in case anyone forgot about them) said that the then Prime Minister of the fucking United Kingdom had coin in a secret offshore investment fund. He also porked a pig head in college. Then he called for a Brexit referendum which backfired horribly. He resigned in shame.

Drunk and from the shallow end of the gene pool Americans. Before you all collectively go wait, what? please recall the Port Huron Float Down. 1500 of your best and brightest (omg I can’t believe I typed that without smacking my head off of the keyboard) decided that a bunch of inner tubes and a fuckton of alcohol was a great idea. They did manage to close down the shipping corridors of a great lake and produced a $280 000 deficit for your country to save everybody who accidentally floated into Canada. Ha, accident my ass, you were all trying to get away from Trump even then weren’t you?

Clowns that all look like ax murderers. Whatever the fuck this little phenomenon is about, knock it the fuck off 2016.

Then of course we have the Syrian refugee crisis. Apparently Syrians have a one in ten chance of being dead at any given moment during this shit show of complete fuckery.

Polio and Small pox came back. Yay. Anti-vaxers are assholes.

Putin and Trump declared their love for each other and passionately made love on the white house lawn. Okay that last part hasn’t happened yet but the rest is pretty much what happened. Just so we are clear, Russia bad. Putin bad.

The totally not honorable Robin Camp. This actually started in 2014 but since we all heard about it this year I’m counting it. This fuckwad is the judge who asked a rape victim why she hadn’t kept her legs closed among other questions that should have just made his head explode due to misogyny overload. Instead he let the rapist off with a wrist slap and had to apologise to the victim which I am sure made it all better. I suggest any judge that hears rape cases needs to wear a shock collar, like a bear shock collar and every time they say something stupid it needs to go the fuck off. And this guy needs to be disbarred and defrocked or whatever you do to a judge.

There were also all the deaths. All sad, some devastatingly so.
Zsa Zsa Gabor, actress, socialite, she was about a billion and six so no surprise really
Craig Sagar. NBA sideline reporter who dressed like a pimp on slap a ho day.
Bernhard Fox. Best known as Doctor Bombay from bewitched.
Alan Thicke. Canadian actor/douchebag. Best known for growing pains. The show not the actual thing.
John Glen. If you don’t know who that is, A)shame on you B)you aren’t a Russian spy or anything right? C)Shame on you.
Florence Henderson. Actress best known as the best mom on earth due to her turn on Brady Bunch.
Ron Glass– Actor. Best known for his roles in Barney Miller and Firefly
Leon Russell. Legendary singer/songwriter/studio musician. Collaborated with the beach boys, rolling stones, and Elton john to name just a few.
Arnold Palmer. Legendary pro golfer. He won four masters and is inducted in the golf hall of fame. Yes, there is a golf hall of fame. No, I don’t know why.
Jose Fernandez. Pitcher Miami Marlins. Really fucked up boat accident.
Gene Wilder. Actor. Best known for Willy Wonka, Young Frankenstein and Blazing Saddles. He is associated with some of the funniest movies of the 70’s.
Steven Hill– Actor who will forever be remembered as Adam Schiff from Law and Order.
Kenny Baker-Actor/droid. Yes people, R2D2 is dead.
Garry Marshall. Producer/director/legend/penny marshall’s dad. Created Happy Days, Laverne and Shirley and directed Pretty Woman.
Michael Cimino– Acadamy award winning director- The Deer Hunter.
Ryan Jimmo. MMA fighter. 19 wins and 5 losses during his career…and I guess one death.
Bernie Worrell. Keyboardist. Founding member of funk band Parliament Funkadelic
Anton Yelchin– Actor. Best known for being a very badassed Pavel Chekov in Star Trek All The Old People Got Replaced.
Cassius Clay…Okay I’m just fucking with you although you should all know who that is. Muhammad Ali. Best boxer ever.
Gordie Howe. Hockey Player. Played 26 seasons in the NHL and made the all star team in 23 of them.
Morley Safer. Reporter. Worked on 60 minutes for 46 years. Back before you were allowed to write whatever you wanted and pass it off as truth when it is actually just clickbait.
Gary Shandling. Comedian.
George Kennedy. Actor. Best known for his Oscar winning turn in Cool Hand Luke.
Vanity. Singer. Fronted Vanity six a collaboration with Prince
Abe Vigoda. Actor. Loved for his portrayal of Detective Fish on Barney Miller and also played Tessio in the godfather.

Now things are going to get much more painful.

Prince. musician/artist/singer/otherworldly being. Legend in his own time. Spectacular human being who had everything and died of an opiod overdose which is so heartbreakingly sad.
Merle Haggard. Country Legend. Inductee into the Country Music Hall of Fame.
Joseph Medicine Crow. War Chief. Medicine Crow was the last surviving war chief of Montana’s Crow Tribe. Lectured extensively on the battle of Little Bighorn.
Nancy Reagan. Actress, first lady of California and then the United States. Married to Ronald Reagan.
Maurice White. Musician. Founder of Earth Wind and Fire. Nominated for 21 grammy’s. Won seven. Inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Glenn Frey. Musician. Founding member of and guitarist for the Eagles. Sang lead on several songs. So even with global warming it is doubtful hell will be freezing over again anytime soon.
Dan Haggerty-actor. Best known for Grizzly Adams. I can’t believe Grizzly Adams fucking died.
Alan Rickman. Wizard. For this one alone 2016 should be drawn and quartered. Severus Snape will forever be remembered by any Harry Potter fan or anyone who knows any Harry Potter fan. Yeah he did a bunch of other stuff, but really after Severus Snape nobody cares.
David Bowie. Alien rock god chameleon. My heart hurts just typing that David Bowie is dead. He died like he lived, with as little fanfare as he could muster.
Leonard Cohen. Hallelujah. Nothing else needs to be said.
Dale Buffin Griffin. Drummer and founding member of Mott the Hoople.
George Michael. Singer. Hi boyfriend went to wake him up but he was gone, gone.
Lemmy Killmister. Singer/founder Moterhead and general badass. The Ace of Spades will forever be one of my favorite 20 songs of all time.
Carrie Fisher. Princess- The disturbance in the force is great right now.
Debbie Reynolds. Mother of carrie fisher. Died of a stroke brought on by a broken heart.

There are of course many more that are not on this list because I am just tired of writing about the death of my youth. So, moving on.

Please ponder this.  We lost all of these wonderful talented people this year and yet Trump, the Kardashians and Kanye are still alive.  What in the actual fuck is going on here?

2016 also brought us Zika, no doubt invented by some drug company that will cure it for a thousand dollars a pill in the near future. Then there were the natural disasters; Hurricane Matthew, The California Wildfires, The Jerusalem Wildfires, The Italian Earthquake, The Alberta Wildfire, Flooding in Peshawar Pakistan, The Taiwan Earthquake, Rainfall induced heavy flooding in France, Flooding in Louisiana, magnitude 7 earthquake in India, flooded everything in Xianogan China, Typhoon Nepartak fujian province, china.

We also had an unuasually high amount of unatural disasters. (not Trump, I’ll get to him in a minute) Mass shootings, a crazed knife wielding fuckwad, bombings, a neverending war in Syria, a bunch of beheaded people because religion is such a peaceful loving thing, drug cartels still going at it (fucking Juarez might as well be iraq) and some crazy president (no not yours) decided to take the war on drugs to a whole nother level and started dropping suspected dealers out of helicopters.

Still think there is hope for humanity? You won’t soon. Next up we have the millenials. The generation that thinks that everone gets a medal for participating and that keeping score is just mean and they need trigger warnings and safe places in school. BARF. They also expect to do as little work as possible and then land themselves a 80000 a year job and get promoted every two years because you don’t have to be a winner to win anymore. Trophies for everyone. Woohoo, look what people have created.

Now lets get to the orange cherry on the top of the shit sundae that is 2016. Donald Jesus Fucking Christ how did this happen Trump. My best hypothesis thus far is that some kind of hallucinogenic gas was released over all the polling stations.

I knew, I expect everyone did that racism, misogyny, xenophobia and theolism existed. But my fucking god, now it’s okay to just do and say whatever you want to whoever you want? That was rhetorical because it fucking isn’t!   Go on You tube for an hour and see if you can make it without throwing up. I watched some grizzled old broad flip the fuck out because two women were in line speaking Spanish. She started with the fact that they didn’t speak American, whatever the fuck that is.  I thought you all spoke English. The did by the way speak English, but since it is a second language Spanish was easier for them.  Next, the mean and very vocal old buzzard moved on  to the fact that THEY are stealing your jobs, asked to see their green cards, and told the whole store they were probably on welfare and living off of all of you. So are they stealing jobs or living on welfare. Probably both right because that is just how those people are. It makes me fucking sick and ashamed for you. Every Muslim is suddenly a terrorist, every Sikh is suddenly a  Muslim, every African American is a beast just waiting to explode and rape and kill all you poor helpless white folks.  Mexicans are just flat out bad hombres and it is now once again okay to make fun of the differently abled, fat people, women, and I have seen the word Faggot thrown around so much lately it is giving me a fucking headache.

Just for a little more proof that you all just elected Satan rolled in cheeto dust, the white supremisist groups are already up in arms and ready to flip the fuck out if Donald Duck doesn’t keep his campaign promises. He is really doing a stellar job thus far. Drain the swamp. pffffft. All he did was add aligators and pythons.

I have 3 spare bedrooms at my house, 4 if somebody wants to convert the basement, first come first serve because you all are headed for a civil war unless of course he just blows the planet the fuck up. He can’t take twitter criticism, what is he going to do when a country says mine is bigger than yours. He’s goimg to launch, and then he is going to go hide in his lead lined bunker till the radiation goes to an acceptable level and then he can emerge as king of the fucking world because he will be all that is left. Actually Keith Richards, Ozzy Osborne and myself will probably also still be alive. I figture Keith can get him to overdose in under three hours. If not, Ozzy can probably scare the old fucker into a heart attack so that makes me once again Queen of all I survey.

That’s it for tonight

RBMD peacing the fuck out.


Everybody Needs To Calm The Fuck Down

November 10, 2016

Your Dean of Fuckery/sarcasm expert/Law Professor/pretend judge/Dr. of doctoring/DVM/puppy resuscitation expert/ and Queen of all I survey needs to talk to her loyal subjects.

I know that many of you are unhappy about the outcome of the election…except for Eunice who is thrilled. Unfortunately this is how democracy works and everyone’s job now is to accept it with grace and start to figure out what the fuck went wrong and get ready to fix it in 4 years.

I hate the very idea of Donald Trump in case any of you missed it. I hate what he is, I hate what he represents as a human being and I hate the fact that nobody seemed to be able to see that he is as entitled a fucker as anyone else that has run for office. I don’t blame the people though. I blame the DNC. I blame them because truly, Bernie Sanders was a much better choice for candidate and had he been nominated he would have won. Unfortunately as we have come to find out, the DNC decided that Hillary was a better bet and put their money on the wrong horse.

Neither candidate was a good choice. I would have preferred to see you elect someone who isn’t so blatant about his racism/xenophobia/hatred for women, but it is what it is.

Protesting, rioting in the streets, etc. is going to accomplish nothing and quite frankly it brings everyone down to the level that I would have expected from his camp had the win been reversed.

I still think you are pretty much fucked. However, I think it is only fair that since he has won the election that he is given a chance to prove what kind of President he will be.

I have concerns that the “outsider” has already surrounded himself with so many insiders and so very many right wing nutters. There is right wing and then there are people like Mike Pence and the ex goblin king of New York. Still, we all have to wait and see. Freaking the fuck out is going to do nothing but drive you all to Xanax and hug therapy.

I am still very scared, as are most Canadians because what happens to you effects us.

So let the Trump supporters gloat. Let the Trump supporters that are actual normal people be. I know some and they are perfectly nice people. Not everyone who voted for him is a cross burning asshole.

To all the women in the States, I am really sorry about all the shit that is about to happen to you. To all the Latino’s that are not rapist murdering drug dealing bad hombres (which is like probably 99%) I’m sorry for the harassment you are about to face. To the Muslims that just want to live in peace I don’t even know what to say because sorry just doesn’t cut it and to everyone else, just live your life to the best of your ability until we see what is going to happen. Remember, Trump has a court case to attend to before he is ever sworn in, there is always impeachment if it comes down to it and truly, I think you are better off with him running the shit then Pence running it. Unless you want to go back to the stone age. Then Pence is just the guy.

It is okay to be scared, it isn’t okay to let it take over.

As always from Canada, much love to you all
RBMD peacing the fuck out.

Well, Since It’s The End Of The World, I Thought I Should Probably Say Something.

November 9, 2016

My loyal subjects, your Dean of Fuckery, Law Professor, Dr. of Doctoring, Pretend Judge and Queen of all I survey is here in hopes that maybe we can find some comfort in each other in these tumultuous times.

I know you are afraid. I know for some of you, the shock that a racist, misogynistic, xenophobic, hatemongering, sexual assaulting, wife buying, closet incest supporting walking fucking cheeto is actually your new president is great. I am not going to add to your pain by pointing out that contrary to popular opinion, Hillary Clinton has been one of the most truthful politicians that has EVER run for office. That really, really says a lot about the calibre of people you all vote for.

For those of you here that think the monster you have just unleashed is going to save the United States, I have but two questions? What fucking drugs are you taking and where the fuck can we all get some. The guy that has gone bankrupt 11 times with other peoples money, the guy that has used Chinese steel in his buildings, the guy that during a debate admitted to using undocumented workers, the guy that didn’t pay all the small businesses that outfitted his bankrupt fucking buildings is now the holder of the nuclear codes. I feel safer already.

It is going to be a very hard road for you United States. And for all of you, my State side no kill shelter mates; Courage. Have courage because we are here for you. Have courage because there are checks and balances across the globe to keep him in check. Have courage because even though the ugliness under the rocks in your yard have seen the light, we know that is not you as a people. Canada and the US are like best friends. We disagree passionately sometimes(like right now)but we go home and call each other later and say “we’re cool right?” and the answer is always and forever “dude, of course.”

I believe in democracy. Always. I don’t believe it always works. When the report card comes in and women can’t get abortions, planned parenthood is defunded, the Supreme court is stacked with rightwing nuts, and LGBT rights are torn away from them let me know what you think.

For those of you that voted for Trump, what did you say to your mother/wife/gay friend/ Muslim friend/ Latino or black friend this morning?

I am heartily saddened by the me, me, me that pervades not only your society but most societies that brought you to this. Do you really think the bajillionaire is going to do anything to fuck with his stacks? Nope, the rich will continue to be rich, the poor will continue to be poor and the middle class will probably slip a little. I am saddened by the millennials who believe that the world owes them everything.

I have nothing amusing to say today, because my heart hurts for you and I am afraid for you because I love you, Canada loves you and you are better than this.

Courage my friends. Courage and my deepest wishes that this somehow all works out.

As a Scot first, I leave you with this because it is just how I feel for you today.

RBMD Peacing the fuck out

It’s The End Of The World As We Know It And I’m Surprisingly OK With It

June 17, 2016

Hello my lovelies. I know it’s been a minute, I’ve been busy trying to get a bunch of stuff done around the house. I’ve decided that it needs to be moved around, painted and I have to get rid of several tonnes of stuff because apparently I keep everything. I have boxes from video games I bought when I was like 30. Why? Because I might need it. I also have not been especially well, nothing to worry about, basically just trying to do to much to fast.

Lovely to see Casa Azul coming together so nicely. It was actually mama who motivated me to make some much needed changes to this place. I am taking a huge step and moving my bedroom downstairs where I am only behind one lock and I’m pretty fucking proud of myself.

That however, has nothing whatsoever to do with todays post. Today’s post is brought to you by the letters W E I S F U C K E D.

Whatever the fuck is in the water in Orlando, don’t let the army take it and weaponize it. I am so sorry for the victims of the shooting, their families, the officers that had to respond to that carnage and us. I am sorry for us.

Now why is a Canadian sorry for you all, being as you the greatest nation on the planet? Because you are like our big brother in a good way and you have been grievously injured which injures us too. Targeting the LGBT community is just so fucked up I can’t even.

I don’t care if you fuck women, men, blow up dolls, an apple pie, or your malamute as long as he or she is into it, it is flat out none of my business and that being said I probably don’t give it any thought Until something like this happens. Then I think about it a lot. And it makes me very angry.

Then you have Adolph Trump fanning the already huge flames about Muslims who are not are radical assholes and building a wall to keep out Mexicans and just arbitrarily deciding that immigration needs to stop. Never mind that his 14 year old wife is an immigrant. I guess the pretty ones will get a pass. Adolph Trump is a worry, just not even close to my biggest one.

What is it with you all and guns? How fucking many people have to be mowed down by crazy assed crazies before you all figure out that your right to bear arms flies in the face of the right to go to school and not get shot, or go to a club and not get shot, or go buy a pack of smokes and not get shot? I’m not talking about taking away your guns, but who the fuck needs military grade weapons for anything other than war? If you are hunting with one you are a coward and or a shitty shot and if not what the fuck are you doing with it? My question is this. What is the number of dead wives, husbands, sisters, brothers, children, pets etc that will make you say “you know what, we might have a problem here?” ten thousand? twenty thousand? I’m really curious about that.

Now we have this new lovely thing called Zika virus right where all are Olympic athletes are going to be and they have finally found the elusive super bug that not even our antibiotics of last resort will kill.  Have I mentioned we are fucked.  In case you missed it, we are fucked.

Up here in Canada land the Trial for the murder of Tim Bosma just finished with a verdict of guilty and two life sentences with parole eligibility after 25 years. Which in Canada means see ya in 25 years.

We got the right to die bill put through this week but just like I said when it was first discussed it is just a big pile of shit with a bow on top. The big contention was the wording of foreseeable death. Well, I have a shocker for all the big shot muckity mucks on the hill, EVERY DEATH IS FORSEEABLE. I’m pissed off because I have never believed that the government should have any say on when you as a person have decided that you want off this ride and want to punch your ticket. You shouldn’t have to blow you head off or whatever to do it. You should be able to have access to the drugs necessary to make the transition from life to death as easy and pain free as possible.

My plan should the time come is to find a dealer of Heroin since they must be out there somewhere, and I’m gonna ride me a dragon right into the sunset.

Oh yeah, I have decided that besides Queen of all I survey I have also crowned myself Queen of Scotland. Please don’t forget to curtsy.

Note to Pesky, one of your cousins keeps teasing my extremely large puppies and you might want to send him a letter or text or something that they do not appreciate his shenanigans and he looks mighty tasty.

I will be around sporadically, I’m just crazy busy right now.

RBMD peacing the fuck out.

Dalia Dippolito Hearing To Dismiss-Bitch Please

February 23, 2016

Hello my lovelies.   Tis me, your law professor/dean of fuckery/Dr. of Doctoring, resident sarcasm expert, and Queen of all I survey.

Dalia Dippolito is in the middle of a hearing to dismiss murder for hire charges.   As a quick refresher, here is the rundown on Dalia Dipshit. She was originally convicted in 2011 and sentenced to 20 years but a new trial was ordered when a judge decided that the jury pool had been tainted. So since the retrial isn’t until May the defense decided they might as well pull a Nurmi and start with the motion filing. They are asking for dismissal of charges due to police misconduct and, AND entrapment.

The love story of Dalia and Mike is beautiful. She was a hooker that was apparently really good at what she did, and Mike decided it was probably cheaper in the long run to just marry her and stop paying for call girl sex. Fiscally responsible, always good in a husband.   Dalia fell hard…for Mikes money and property. Him, apparently not so much. Mike was on probation for scamming a bunch of money and would remain that way until he paid restitution. Mike was also not the brightest bulb in the lamp and Dalia convinced him to sign over his house to her name and give her 100000 towards the restitution he owed. She said she would put in the other 91000 and once his financial obligations were taken care of she would sign the house back over. Poor dopey Mike believed her. After trying to get his probation revoked by planting drugs a couple of times and trying to poison him with anti-freeze she decided that she required a professional.  She asked one of her ex side pieces if he knew anybody and when he realized that bitch be crazy, he went to the police and told them that Mike Dippolito was going to be air-holed if somebody didn’t rein in this woman, much like you would rein in an insane horse.


The police got Mike out of the house and staged it like he had actually been killed.  And that is when Dalia put on an Oscar worthy performance of being shocked and mad with grief about her husbands sudden violent demise.

Please note how adamant she is that she would like to see her recently murdered husband. When they kept telling her no, Dipshit decided that maybe asking to get the dog would gain her entry. No dice and as you can see they hustled her ass down to the station.

Dalia was questioned and the hit-officer was brought in. She was asked if she had ever seen him before and she said nope, nuh uh. She was then informed that her hired hitman was a police officer. She started saying she didn’t do anything once she was told Mike was still alive. It was then that she was cuffed and Zombie Mike strolled on by.

She begged Mike to talk to her but he was understandably somewhat hesitant. Dipshit later had the unmitigated gall to actual call him and ask him to help her get a lawyer.

Sorry about the sound quality. My favorite part is when Mike says sign my house back over so I don’t have to go through the legal bullshit and Dalia says she isn’t signing anything.

I don’t think the motion to dismiss is going to pan out, but it is Florida so you be the judge.

She is prepared for a new trial and is now going with the Kardashian defense. It was all an act to get a reality tv show. oeahfovghreg Sorry, hit my head off of the keyboard.
That is it for tonight

RBMD peacing the fuck out.

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