Hello my lovelies. It is I, your dean of fuckery, doctor of doctoring, honorary DVM, Pretend Judge, Writer of briefs that should make any jurist green with envy, Horse Therapist, Horse Whisperer, Dog Lactation Consultant, Midwife, Resident sarcasm expert and of course Queen of all I survey.
All that has dominated my feed on facebook for two days now is that kid that got bullied, Keaton. Now, your queen is not a heartless beast (spoiler alert, I’m not heartless, there is a rock of some sort in there I am pretty positive) but I take extreme umbrage with the amount of news space this kid has taken up. Buy why your majesty you may be asking yourselves right now. I’m going to tell ya, keep your knickers on, jeez. Before we get to that part, I’d like you to raise your hand if A) you have ever been bullied and/or B)you’ve ever been a bully. I fall into both categories and I am not ashamed to admit that. People make mistakes, jump to conclusions and do stupid shit because at the time it seemed funny. Case in point my treatment of Sandra Weber, who I came to find out once I was done ripping her to shreds is a decent, caring, warm and very, very funny person. She just got caught up in the whole stabby mess and she became what I became, a bully. My good friend now Joe would be another prime example. But we are grown ups and we have thick skins and eventually we came to our senses and realized we were acting like a bunch of middle schoolers. Now middle school and high school are a terrible time for a lot of kids. Any little difference that sets you apart from the herd and you are a target. And I was a target. My high school days turned into one never ending nightmare of torture that I thought would never, ever end. I was smarter than anyone else and I was also poorer than everyone else. Probably the poorest kid in high school since mommy and daddy were busy drinking and smashing their way through every cent that came into the house.
I wore the Sally Anne specials and the dirty Dan the discount man shoes. It was a place where you got those hightop black runners with the big white rubber circle on the side for like a dollar fifty or something. I was the only kid in a very large high school that I ever saw with a pair. Unfortunately I had a class, French actually where one of the articles of clothing that had been purchased from the salvation army had belonged to one of the richest girls in the class and she took great pleasure in announcing to the entire class that I was wearing her clothes. It kind of went downhill from there. She and her rich little fanbase tormented me daily. Of course word got around the school and I was known as hand me down Kelly, second hand Kelly and my favorite, broke assed Kelly. The fact that scholastically I was running laps around these people did not help me even a little bit. Her name was Rena and I will never forget her. She started to do more things to me to get more attention from the mean girl battalion. She hit me with a blackboard eraser and I walked around with chalk dust on my second hand clothes for the day once, and then the day came that she poked me with one of those blackboard sticks with the metal point on the end and I put her out a second story window. Don’t worry it was opened. I broke her arm which was unfortunate because I was aiming for her head. There was a big huge thing and my father for once in his life acted like a father and came down to defend me as they were drawing up my expulsion papers and waiting for the police. He was drunk off his ass which made his very thick Scots accent almost impossible to understand, but he got the point across when he mentioned the months of torment I had suffered at the hands of these girls, that Rena was the ring leader and that he was going to the school board and once he was done there he was going to the newspaper and with any luck it would get picked up by AP. His tactics worked because I did not get arrested or expelled, I got an apology from the school and Rena got warned to stay away from me. It was good advice because I had had quite enough thank you very much.
I finished high school and with it put all that bullshit behind me. It’s not forever. I know personally how awful it is at the time, but it is not forever.
Now to Keaton. I believe that Keaton’s pain is absolutely real. I felt like that way too many days to not believe it to be completely genuine. My problems with the whole thing are many and glaring if you can get past the visceral reaction to that boy sobbing his heart out. Why, if mom was just picking him up because he didn’t want to eat lunch in the cafeteria did she have a video camera? Why was she so obviously asking him leading questions during the recording of the video? Why did she sound so rehearsed and not completely outraged as any parent would have been? Why did Keaton sound like he’d been coached on a couple of points, specifically why do they do it and it gets better, while he is sobbing his heart out which tells me he obviously does not believe it gets better. Why is he looking at his mother like that? pay attention to the video. Turn off the sound and just watch the body language of this kid.
So suddenly Keaton is the cause celeb of the day which I believe is EXACTLY what mama wanted. Mama is southern, very southern in a rebel flag, I don’t like black people southern kind of way. She has now scrubbed her social media accounts but it was all there. No offense to southerners who are human. The wave of support for this child was immediate and exactly what is wrong with social media and why I think it will be the death of humanity as we know it.
Suddenly Keaton is invited to LA for an avengers screening, invited to hang out with NFL players, being tweeted by a list of celebrities that is longer than my arm, money, gifts, offers of dates and everyone wanted to be his friend. And then there was the go fund me. This was started by someone not related to the family and was for Keaton’s college or University except Keaton’s mom would have control of it because he is too young. Now, this guy says he doesn’t know the family and just felt bad for the kid. And this could be true. My gut tells me it isn’t but I suppose in some bizzaro land it could be.
This whole thing once she found out Keaton was being bullied was orchestrated by Keaton’s good old card carrying racist mama. I would bet she knows well the person who set up the go fund me (it has been put on hold and depending on what news source you rely on, either by go fund me or by the guy that set it up) and many of the offers have been withdrawn which kind of makes he people making the offers to begin with look like dicks.
Keaton is definitely a bullied kid. And a celebrity tweeting hang in there, it gets better, something like that is totally appropriate. Offers of movie premieres and things like that is totally not. Why not? Because hundreds, hell thousands of kids get bullied every single day at school or home or the playground or wherever. Where are their invites to premieres and parties and shit? Two little girls committed suicide due to bullying just prior to this video coming out and nobody gave a rats ass about it because their parents were too worried about their children to pull out a video camera and get their terrible sadness on film.
And of course the mob moved in. Keaton is a racist, Keaton got bullied because he called a kid the N word (that has been totally debunked, it never happened but it sure makes good copy doesn’t it) This kid did not ask to be born into a racist household and just being in one doesn’t make you one. If that were the case I’d be an alcoholic heroin addict.
The problem here is that the mother, in my opinion cared very little about how much emotional pain her child was in and way more about the amount of money to be made off of an emotionally at the end of his rope little boy.
The internet needs to stop and think. Stop, actually pay attention to what you are seeing and then think. Think hard because I called this literally a full day before the shit storm started. And again, what about the two children who are dead because of being bullied. No movie premiers or college funds for them. Can anybody even name them?
The people that donated to this go fund me were not stupid, they were kind, caring people who wanted to try and ease this kids pain. They just didn’t think about what they were really seeing. And that is what will make it so much harder for the next bullied kid that has the balls to talk about it.
RBMD peacing he fuck out.