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The Stabby Arias Penalty Phase Retrial – The Dr. Geffner is an Asshat Edition

December 17, 2014

Hai Kids.  You know, it’s nice to be nice once in a while and try and stretch out an olive branch and all that happy peace on earth good will towards men stuff.  I do however feel rather remiss as your law professor/Dean of fuckery/Queen of Mean/ possible supreme ruler of the universe.  You will have to forgive me.  It is a lot of hats that I wear and I get them all confused sometimes.  You know, like how some people get confused that they are still 21 and gorgeous.  Like that.  Now, my palace is just a run down old farm house in the middle of nowhere and I don’t pretend that it isn’t.  I owe back taxes on it but you know what?  When I was still normal I worked hard, I bought it at the age of 19 all by myself and I paid it off all by myself.   It’s old, and it need a makeover badly, but the dogs and cat at least keep it from becoming a rat haven so there is that.  I do have a complete law library (my lawyer is constantly shipping me cartons of law books) in hopes that even now I might somehow be able to fulfill what he considers to be my destiny.  I also study science so I can be all Einstein-y and shit, and I bet I can write an amicus brief better than Jenny from the Cell Block.  When I am not busy doing that I have taken up a new hobby.  I am now making tinfoil hats to send to each and every one of the stabby/mormonmafia/skateboardninjafrapuccinogang/juan Martinez is a bad man because he wins/ conspiracy theorists.  We can read their thoughts because planetary alignment or radio waves or because I have a contract of indentured servitude with my in house psychic who the fuck knows.

Here in  a nutshell is what I know.  I will type slowly in hopes that the fucktards that still think stabby is going to magically be freed in the next 8 days might get it.

1. Stabby, your patron saint of debauchery(look it up stabbyites I don’t have time to spoon feed you this) has been CONVICTED OF FIRST DEGREE PREMEDITATED MURDER.

2.Stabby is eligible for the death penalty. Now nurms can write motions till he gets carpal tunnel syndrome and that is NOT going to change the fact that she is DP eligible. And if you think that you aren’t starting to piss off the jury with all these stall tactics then you sir are an idiot.

3.Stabby is a fucking liar. How do we know? Her mouth is moving. I bet she lies about what she has for breakfast. We certainly know she lies about being starved to death by good ole sheriff Joe. How’s that lawsuit coming Stabby? Just wondering.

4.Stabby is what I like to call a weasel. Have you ever seen a weasel. Vicious little things. Kind of like ferrets but with rabies and their period all at the same time. Weasels will go into a chicken coop and they will kill a bird and eat it. Then just for the fuck of it they will kill every other bird in the coop. I guess so there aren’t any witnesses. Kinda like tossing a camera in the washing machine. A weasel would do that.

5.Stabby thinks that the whole entire world is dumber than her (and that ladies and gents says a lot). We have I wasn’t there, and then two American ninjas did it and then not only did the ninjas do it but as luck would have it the gun misfired and the one with the knife forgot how to use it and I grabbed my purse and ran. Because a purse at that point would be so important. Then, I killed Travis in self defense. Because he said mean things to me and I didn’t like it. He called me a fucking whore. Because you were a fucking whore. I’m a fucking blonde. Deb is my fucking star student. Mama is a fucking great story teller. You see where I am going with this? It all means NOTHING.

6.Now she has her brother in on the action. He has signed a statement that was read into the record that Stabby mom did indeed beat not just stabby but now both of them with a wooden spoon and Dad of stabby had paddles with their names emblazoned on them (but those never got used). It is AMAZING how the story is evolving to suit her new idea of mitigation.

7.Speaking of mitigation. When are we going to see some. you don’t get to claim the PTSD you (doubtfully have) that you got from killing a guy. Mommy hit you with a spoon. Poor muffin. My dad shot me and I didn’t kill anybody.

8.Geffner is a wash. He has pretty much completely swung his entire testimony and it’s a damn shame the jury isn’t going to find that out till after. He did however make that fairly large goof and call Stabbykins a psychopath. That would be one of the only truthful statements of the “paid experts” thus far.

9.Juan is going to turn him into steak tartar. JUST. LIKE. LAST. TIME.

10.Alfred E. is gonna go to the supreme court. Bless his heart. He probably had the motion already written so he could get it in in time for Christmas bonus dividends as Christine Beswick said.

11.I am sick of the eleventybillion tweets a day that Stabby is innocent

12.I am completely pissed off at the ones saying Travis deserved it because he hurt poor muffins feelings.

13.Porngate turned into nothinggate just like I said it would. Unless you are PV. In that case Juan bad, prosecutorial misconduct blah, fucking blah.

14.I will be very happy when Stabby is stuck in a shu somewhere awaiting her ultimate punishment, whatever that may be.

15.There is no way in hell that LWP is even a remote possibility. LWOP is the very best that she is going to do.

16.Walmart never loses anything EVER.

17.This trial is likely to drag out well into the middle of 2015 and if Nurmi really goes to the supreme court (and he will) maybe longer.

18.That could present us with a mistrial and that would probably be the best thing all the way around. Stabby gets LWOP and goes away and we all get to start ragging on some other trial.

There, that feels better. I feel like my old self again.

A very good friend of mine told me today “meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup.”     I say fuck dragons.

RBMD peacing the fuck out.

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Stabby Is a Saint…So Says Stabby.

December 1, 2014

 

OMGLOLROFLMAO-Arizona

Hai everybody. Hope you are all well. I would like to take this opportunity to let you know that I have been declared Queen by PV. PV declares me queen. SEE!!!!

I don’t know where Mean is, but I am Queen of that region now. All Hail HRM Queen Kelly. YAY!!

As you all know, today was a down day in Maricopa County Court because why not! I figured I was going to be writing a blog about something else. Stabby being the altruistic um…thing  that she is, and obviously aware of my sadness over not being able to continue to point out exactly how full of shit she is, had this written just so that I could indeed continue to point out how full of shit she is.

Stabby is a saint!!

Here is what appeared on some site that is run for Stabby. Unfortunately, whoever was taking shorthand didn’t do a very good job, I decided to fix it for her. Consider it MY charitable act of the day. My corrections will appear in bold italics.

Here’s an interesting (I dunno, just put in some Einstein-y sounding word here) dichotomy: Sheriff Joe, who is a purported proponent of charity, prohibits acts of charity among the inmates in his charge.(That is actually a bald faced lie, Sheriff Joe does not allow the passing of commissary because it is usually used in payment for something like drugs or crayons, or things to hide in my wonder holes.) It’s a rule—one I recently broke. I gave food to someone(so I could grab some more press making myself look wholesome and good, bwahahahahaha I wonder which of the idiots will buy that) who was hungry. It wasn’t much(because why give away a bunch of good stuff when a little thing will do the same job,) just a snack. Of course, this doesn’t make me a saint(OMG LOL I don’t believe I am actually getting someone to write that) (not that there would be any confusion—many misguided(no they’re not, but don’t tell them) souls believe I’m the devil incarnate). Who wouldn’t spare a little food for someone who was hungry?(Well, normally I wouldn’t, but Hello.  Sympathy vote ) No brainer there.

Yet true to the adage “No good deed goes unpunished,” my random act of(using someone else to my advantage) kindness resulted in “restriction,” meaning no phone calls (except legal) and no canteen. The latter is where the crux of the irony lies. I chose( to break a rule that I was very aware was in place because rules don’t apply to me)  to give food to someone who was hungry, and for that I was punished(in the exact same way that every other prisoner is) by being made to go hungry(that is totally not true, we all know it is a human rights violation to withhold food, I just don’t like nutri-loaf. Put that in anyway, most of the idiots will believe whatever I say)—on Thanksgiving, no less. For(using another inmate to get myself some press) giving. Because my giving was in violation of a rule that at first blush seems absurd.

The rule was not created arbitrarily, however. Some inmates pass weapons or drugs. Others(and by others I mean me) use canteen as currency, offering it as payment for pills, tattoos, and other unmentionables. Almost invariably, a fight breaks out on canteen day over someone failing to pay their debt(which is yet another reason I am very happy that I pulled this off.)  You wouldn’t believe the drama that can escalate over a 75-cent bag of chips.  The rule was put in place to curtail, if only somewhat successfully, security risks such as these, not to keep hungry people hungry.  But rather than split hairs and run the risk of showing bias, (don’t tell them that a jail is not a democracy and rules are rules) it’s a blanket rule that applies equally to everyone in theory, not so much in practice. (Not really but that  makes it sound like I have been centered out for punishment without saying it).

Well, I can’t let someone(that I can use to my advantage) go hungry if I’m in a position to help. I just can’t. I don’t like feeling hungry, do you? (actually, I don’t like feeling horny and I need to eat to compensate.)  I love (taking it up the ass) food.  I’m munching on a green apple as I write this.  (Wait, maybe don’t put that because they will realize that my punishment was not in any way severe) Does this justify my breaking a rule? (Of course it doesn’t, but I’m Stabby Einstein so I can whine if I want too.) That would depend on whom you’re asking. Any officer with the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office (MCSO), if going on the record, would tell you that breaking a rule, even one classified as “minor,” such as in this case, is never justified. Writer Martha Beck (who has nothing to do with this but the quote makes me sound all noble and shit) offers us a different perspective. In this quote, she very eloquently explains the state of my heart:

If everyone kept all the rules, we’d still be practicing cherished traditions like child marriage, slavery, and public hangings. The way humans become humane is by assessing from the heart, rather than the rule book, where the justice of a situation lies. Sometimes, (like whenever I can use it to my advantage) you have to break the rules around you in order to keep the rules within you—my emphasis.

I’m not (OMG YES I AM.  Hope everyone forgets that I was growing pot, and hurt a dog, and killed a guy in cold blood) a ruler-breaker by nature, but I sometimes go against the grain, even when it chafes. As the reality settled in that my giving in this instance would not lead to receiving (like it did when I’d say give a blowie or some good anal), as karmic law says it should, but would lead to a loss(like that time when I missed out on cinnabon,) the seeming poetic justice gave me pause. It was like anti-karma.

The Hearing Sergeant(who I would totally let finger bang me in exchange for a sharpie) came to see me about the incident two days later, just as SRT (Special Response Team) was picking me up for court. Half-jokingly, one of the officers asked me, (are you ever going to figure out that YOU don’t make the rules) “What have you learned from this situation?” I’m sure this wasn’t the answer they were expecting, (and it is totally not what I said, but it makes me sound good doesn’t it?) but the lesson was clear: “No charitable acts at Estrella.”

– Stabby Einstein.

I hope she appreciates the effort I put in to fixing a very obviously erroneous post. She should fire whoever is running that site.

In other news, Alfred E has filed motioned number eleventy billion to have the death penalty removed since her mitigation witnesses don’t want to testify in open court. Isn’t that…odd. Three people, and not one of them is willing to testify in open court. Wonder if they might be worried that someone who knows they are lying may come forward to say they are lying. Court Chatter got the scoop on one, Marc McGee. Here is the link to Court Chatter http://www.courtchatter.com/2014/12/jodi-arias-another-mystery-witness.html?spref=tw
I have seen posts by someone going by the name of Marc McGee who has been posting for over a year on Facebook. In one he said to paraphrase that Stabby already killed a guy and did Juan want to be the guy trying to kill her? He is very obviously in love with being the center of attention. Other witnesses are allegedly Matt McCartney and a former co-worker.

That is it for right now. Really Big Mean Dog peacing the fuck out.

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The Never Ending Stabby Einstein Penalty Phase Retrial- The Psychological Vomit Edition

November 20, 2014

You’re going to need a bigger bucket – Arizona

Hai kids, welcome to yet another edition of the trials and tribulations of Stabby Einstein and the whole entire funky bunch. Todays post is brought to you by Shirley’s House of Pain and Pleasure where their motto is “If you or someone you know has a kink, we can turn it into a mitigating factor for you.”

Since this is just kinda the way we roll now I will provide you with updates before we get into the meat of todays trial.

I am going to live. Sorry PV. I do not need a heart transplant and yes that was apparently a possibility for a while, but the docs have decided that I do not, they can fix what is broken in mine. I have something called Ebsteins Anomoly. I am going to have to have two heart valves replaced which I know sounds really scary, but sounds much less scary than a removal and replacement of my heart. The also have to do some procedure while they are in there to help with the electrical impulses in my heart. Not a pacemaker but along the same idea.

Now that we have that all taken care of, onto todays big bunch of bullshit that is the retrial that will never end.

The day began with Great Nana Dr. Sexpert back on the stand to tell some more of the story that the defense paid her to tell. Dr. Sexpert begins by saying that Travis did not see Stabby as a real person outside of the bedroom. My immediate question was since I don’t see her as a real person now, does that make me a bad person? Today Great Nana Dr. Sexpert is also getting into Travis’ so called vulgarities apparently criticizing Stabby for looking cheap. I think she left the whore part off, cheap whore sounds much more appropriate to me.

Stabby and Jenny From the Cell Block were barely aware there was a trial going on around them they were so busy whispering and giggling with each other.

Dr. Sexpert, who is an expert on the subject because she was likely there when sex was invented and may or may not have gone to pre-school with Jesus is somewhat less than believable when everything that Stabby did was okay and everything that Travis did was deviant sexual behavior. They are paying her $275 per hour to say what they want her to day and after three mind numbing day on the stand where we have learned that the sex expert doesn’t know what Jizz or a fuckbuddy is, is finally getting to the day of the murder.

Juan is objecting to everything Nurmi asks. Great Nana Dr. Sexpert says it was a vicious killing, Horrible and Juan objects to the word horrible. She keeps trying to describe the scene that day and Juan keeps objecting, I’m guessing because she wasn’t there so she has no foundation to describe the scene. Nurmi tries again. Was this murder viscious? Yes. Was it horrible and Juan objects and is sustained again on horrible. Nurmi asks how you go to sex four hours earlier to that and Juan objects and there is a sidebar. Again, just my opinion, but since the she wasn’t there refereeing, there is no foundation for her to answer the question. We sidebar right up till lunchtime. Since everyone is aware that Juan is going to be up on cross at some point in the near future the vet is quietly brought in with extra tranquilizer darts and a case of goodboy treats are deposited on the prosecution table. The vet is looking decidedly nervous since Juan has been on full snarl since trial started this morning.

After lunch Alfred E. says he has just a few more questions. Dr. Sexpert says something happened in that bathroom but she doesn’t know what because she wasn’t there to which the entire planet replied “No. Really?” Nurms tried to wrap everything into a nice tidy this all happened because of abuse bow while a snarling and snapping Juan objected to everything through the muzzle that was about to be removed.

She says that what happened in that bathroom was Psychological vomit. Now there is a catch phrase for an office pamphlet. We specialize in psychological vomit. I know I’d want her for my paid expert. I got some vomit for ya, you crazy old bat. This by the way is Great Nana Dr. Sexpert. great nana Dr. Sexpert 2 She looks a lot more like an expert in mahjong than in deviant sexual behavior.  My lawyer emailed me about 3 hours ago and all it said was HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sex expert. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Flores quickly removed the muzzle and threw himself backwards while the vet aimed and fired. The first dart hit home but we won’t know for a few minutes if it is having the desired effect.

The dart didn’t work. “When her father smacked her across the back of the head and she yelled “FUCK YOU BILL” would you call that suffering in silence like you have been alluding too? Suddenly Great Nana Dr. Sexpert didn’t look quite so comfortable on the stand. Nurmi of course objects to everything. At one point I think he may have objected to his own objection.

Juan asks about a transcript of an interview with Carl. Dr. Sexpert says she never reviewed that transcript. Juan then barked out who is Carl. Dr. Sexpert answered (and I’m not making this up) Stabby’s Father. Once he was done laughing Juan said no, it’s her brother and then he said (you stupid useless bitch) in that tone only other dogs can hear.
Juan is demanding yes or no answers and Dr. Sexpert seems to think she doesn’t have to provide them. I guess she didn’t see what mincemeat LaToilette looked like and it looks like she may be headed in the same direction. He wants to know if she reviewed all the documents and she seems unsure and then he did it. He asked Dr. Sexpert if she was having problems with her memory and I laughed till I almost fell out of my chair.

It has been under 20 minutes and Great Nana Dr. Sexpert is beginning to crack like a walnut. A really, really old walnut. Nurmi of course is trying to do damage control and asked for a sidebar I would assume to let his expert collect herself. Good luck with that Nurms. Your expert is not prepared.

Sidebar is over and it would seem that Dr. Sexpert is anxious to spar with the mighty pit bull. Maybe it was all the talk of sexual deviance that didn’t exist that got Great Nana Dr. Sexperts juices flowing but she was definitely ready to roll around with Juan for a bit and Juan was every bit as ready to make her his bitch. And he proceeded to do just that. Juan asks a question, she tries to dance and it is that moment that sometimes Judge Stephens remembered that she is indeed sometimes a Judge and ordered Dr. Sexpert to answer. The good Doc seemed less than amused that she was not allowed to continue to offer complete dissertations instead of yes or no answers. Stabby was in deep discussions with Jenny from the Cell Block probably telling her she better get a leash on this expert or she was gonna get Stabbied. Juan got her to admit that she flitted from boyfriend to boyfriend and was not the stable slice of happy that Dr. Sexpert was trying to make her out to be.

Juan is now showing Dr. Sexpert a whole shit ton of papers that she has never seen. I’m SHOCKED. They all say that Stabby is a sociopath. Dr. Sexpert had no idea. It was a beautiful moment. She also has no idea at what point Stabby and Travis became a couple. Silly little facts that are maybe kind of important. She finally just agreed to go with 2007. YAY we’ve made progress. Juan actually had to prod her by asking if she watched the 48 hrs program. Dr. Sexpert said yes. Juan said do you recall her saying the date that they started dating? She said she vaguely remembered something like that. Pesky damn details anyway.

Dr. Sexpert didn’t feel that Stabby’s admitted violent streak, you know the one where she kicked holes in walls, smashed mirrors, maybe strangled a cat and disappeared a dog were not important facts to consider after a vicious murder. She outright admitted that Stabby’s anger issues had no bearing on her opinion on the case. (and then Jenny had someone wheel some more money out to Dr. Sexperts car) She said that Travis was the poisonous ingredient in the relationship and Stabby being a violent sociopath had nothing to do with it.

Juan asked if she was a mind reader for trying to answer questions before they are asked. She said she wished which of course is the totally professional thing to say in answer to that question.

Juan jumped slightly forward as another tranquilizer dart was successfully deployed and then continued with his questioning although he did seem to mellow just a little. He wanted to know if she knew the secret. She was rendered speechless. Of course he was referring to the Secret that Stabby adhered to that was in the notes that Dr. Sexpert had obviously not read.

Nurmi had a very bad day objection wise. He got overruled almost every time. Ahhhh, they must have had a lovers quarrel. Dr. Sexpert admits that all the info she went by was provided by the defense because that is who she was hired by.

Juan then put up the text about how she was getting her cooch waxed so it would be nice and smooth and asked Great Nana Dr. Sexpert which one of them instigated that particular email and poor Dr. Sexpert had to concede that it was the totally not seasoned stabbykins.

Court was dismissed till Monday at 9:30 am and we have a hearing about Nurmi’s evidence tampering tomorrow. YAY!! It would be so cool if he conducted the rest of his trial from closed circuit television from a prison cell.

That is it for tonight kids. Have a great night and I will C U 2morrow if I get anything about the hearing.

RBMD Peacing the fuck out.

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Since Nothing Is Pressing In The World Of Crime Today This Will Be An Update Blog Plus Some Additions To The Big Book Of Words

November 18, 2014

When it comes to this farce of a penalty phase retrial, a day off is not necessarily a bad thing – planet earth

Hai everybody.  Welcome to a Really Big Mean Dog update blog, plus we have some new entries to the Big Book of Words.  YAY!!

I find it highly amusing that it always seems to be the “experts” and the lawyers and those more Einstein-y than us that come up with all these new and awesome words.

For those of you that may have missed my blog last night, Charles Manson has applied for a marriage license.  I read something about this months ago but of course Charlie being a complete nut bag denied the whole thing saying it was just another groupie and alluding to the fact that he was just using her for whatever she could put in his commissary.  The woman goes by Star and she is a couple of fries short of a happy meal.  Rolling Stone did an article in 2013 which I read and kept a copy of.  You can see it here. http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/charles-manson-today-the-final-confessions-of-a-psychopath-20131121  It is an interesting read and I recommend it if you are interested in Manson at all, or in the very special type of fruit loop that he continues to draw in.

We had quite the lively discussion going in the comments about the whole pedophile thing and how sickening it is that the Alexander family is being put through all of this yet again.  I stated my opinion in last nights blog, but that begs another question or 14.  Even if (and I want to emphatically stress that I do not in any way whatsoever believe that Travis had any sexual proclivities towards children) this was the case that he fantasized about young girls, does a fantasy, even one that is that sick warrant death if it is a fantasy?  I will tell you all a secret about me. I used to fantasize almost daily about killing my ex. How I would do it, how I would try and cover it up, what weapons I would use, the fact that the first thing I would do was stab him directly in the junk and then shove a heated curling iron up his ass, whether or not I could feed him to the dogs. It got pretty intense. All of those things were illegal, but they were just fantasies. Should I have been thrown in prison for thinking those things? Should I have been killed because of them? You cannot be put on trial for crimes that you might commit. While we are on the subject of being put on trial; the trial is over and Stabby was convicted of first degree aggravated murder. This is supposed to just be the penalty phase retrial so why is Alfred E being allowed to deliver his case in chief all over again? Why has nobody put a stop to this? This is supposed to be about mitigation only. Not that there is any, but why is this being allowed to continue.

Ross drove me to my test today again and I was saying that I wished there was a way I could pay him back for all the kindness. He reminded me of something. When I first bought this place, maybe my third year here, fall was setting in, Ross had a bunch of things that needed to be done and he broke a hip falling off of a tractor. He has sons but they work far away and it was hard for them to get down unless it was the weekend. Ross would not hear of a little tiny girl coming to do the stuff that needed done, so one night I had this idea. I would sneak down to his farm after 11pm and I would put up hay, or pile wood, stuff like that every night for a week before he caught me out. I wasn’t scared down there. I love Ross’ farm. The barn is warm, he’s got good equipment and there was no way I was going to leave an old man hanging with none of the stuff that absolutely had to be done undone because he had an unfortunate accident. I had just finished putting around 200 bails of hay into the loft and when I dropped down there he was on a pair of crutches with his wife beside him holding hot cider and cookies. She had tears running down her face. Ross looked stern, like he was mad at me for a minute, but then he stepped forward and just shook my hand. I smiled and took a cookie and around a mouthful of it I said “see, I told you I was a farm girl born and bred.” He laughed and apologized for doubting me because of my gender and size and told me he would never forget it. He healed up and got the rest of his stuff done before winter set in but he said he would have never done it without me. I shook it off then. That is just how we do around here Ross I said to him and he nodded agreeably. So today when I said I didn’t know how I could pay him back he said he figured he still owed me a full hay mow and enough wood stacked to get through the winter. Brought tears to my eyes he did. It means that nobody owes anybody anything. We are neighbors and we just do for each other because that is how we roll out here.

The dogs are doing great. Even Bruno, the most damaged dog possibly on the planet because of the asshole that almost killed me is turning into a different dog. I still would not consider him safe around people, but he is now safe around the other dogs and today he even played with peanut. Little tiny peanut who he could crush like a walnut with one bite was played with so gently that I was moved by it. The only thing that Bruno loves or trusts is me and I guess he has decided that if I love the little mop dog than he can safely love her too. I can still hear the vet telling me that he was so mentally unstable he needed to be put down and me getting downright angry and explaining the things that had been done to Bruno and that it was not his fault that he was the way he was and there was no way I would ever do that to him. He told me that if he ever got loose someone would be killed, so I told him that I would be extra careful. Bruno has gotten loose. As long as he doesn’t feel that I am being threatened or that there are strangers on his property, he couldn’t care less about other people. They don’t exist to him. Today he laid down on the floor and let peanut maul at him and his little stumpy tail never stopped going sixty miles an hour. He was said when peanut got bored. He and Mya and Happy and Panzer are all one big happy pack. The other dogs do not challenge him for the alpha spot, and even if they did he would use his size to drive them down and make them submit before he ever used his teeth. That dog has come a million miles. If he can do it, so can I.

Taco spent most of the time the dogs were playing walking across my keyboard, which is his favorite thing to do. I don’t know if it is the clicks that amuse him or the way the buttons sink and come back up, but that guinea pig would spend the entire day running back and forth across the keys if I would let him. He makes happy little chirpy noises and does it for hours. Back and forth and back and forth. It is hilarious to watch, and more hilarious to watch kitty friend watching Taco play on the keyboard. Kitty friend and Taco seem to have an agreement of some kind because they also have nothing but love for one another. They will sometimes cuddle up together and go to sleep.

Our resident expert on the stand for stabbykins Dr. Sexpert has been kind enough to give us a couple of offerings for the big book of words. Apparently I was mistaken and Jizz is not just jizz. It is jizzle. JIZZLE. Seriously. The expert on sexual kink also had no idea what a fuck buddy is, so to help her out I am adding that to the book of words. And just so you all know, anybody that texts after 11pm is totally a perv so stop it all you pervs out there. Just stop.

Finally, I wanted to thank you all for your words and thoughts of support while I deal with whatever is going on with my heart. It is such a wonderful feeling to know that so many people care about what happens to me. From someone who spent their entire life with nobody, it is an awfully comforting feeling. And to those of you who have donated to the blog a HUGE thank you. Thank you for appreciating the time and effort and research that I put into my writings.

That is it for tonight kids. Everybody have a great night and wish me luck tomorrow. Tomorrow is a very important day.
RBMD peacing the fuck out.
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The Stabby Arias Never Ending Penalty Phase Retrial – The Lets Keep The Witness Under Direct Forever So Juan Can’t Cross Examine Edition

November 17, 2014

There is not enough Tylenol in the entire world for this shit – Arizona

Hai Kids. Welcome to another edition of the never ending Stabby Einstein penalty phase retrial. The penalty phase that the Convict would like to turn into the I’m getting out of jail by Saturday do-over.

Just before we get to todays foray into the almost insane some of you may have noticed the disclaimer that I have posted on the bottom right hand side of my blog. It is more about the people and entities that are NOT allowed to post my blog than who is. If I have failed to mention you by name or by site than consider yourself allowed to use my blog in whole or in part as long as it is credited to the Really Big Mean Dog Article you have used. This is just more stuff that my lawyer friend said would be pertinent for me to do, makes litigation much easier. So, if I forgot to name you by name and you have been linking my blog or using parts of it or whatever and you have not been expressly forbidden from doing that, please just continue to do what you have been doing all along. People were not listed in order of importance, just who popped into my head at that particular moment and I had to stop naming specific people that were allowed permission because I ran out of room.

Court today started an avalanche of questions in my head, non of which have been answered to any satisfaction even by some of the greatest legal minds that I know. They are doing the exact same head scratch that I am. Questions like how is a paid expert allowed to give an opinion on a seven year old email with no context and without speaking with either of the people the email was between seeing as one of them is dead and the other was not approached. How is that not all just hearsay? How is there any foundation for the email? How is someone does someone who is purported to be an expert in sexual kink not know what a fuck buddy is, or a friend with benefits? Does that not toss the whole sex expert thing directly out the window? How do you get any sense of what is truth and what is a lie from Stabbykins (other than if her mouth is moving she is likely full of shit) when you have spent less than 8 hours with her split between two sessions? How does she spend a day and a half on the stand talking about Chris and sky hughes perceptions of the relationship between Travis and the murdering bitch without ever having an interview with Chris and Sky hughes? A day and a fucking half and never talked to either one of them? Really? I have obviously made some egregious career choices in my life and would now like to become a sexual kink expert. This sunshine filled lollypop of triple dipped psycho is going for $300 per hour. That the Aunty Sue we need more money for appeals and experts and stuff definitely isn’t paying for. You are Arizona. I would have done it for half just so you know. Of course it would have been over Skype, but still. I could have saved you a fortune and done a way better job.

This is Dr. Sexpert. dr sxpert Thank you Jeff Gold. She will now for the duration of the retrial be referred to as Dr. Sexpert.  Also, just as an aside, it’s pretty bad when the kink expert is looking at the defense attorney like she needs an adult.  Just sayin’.

Anyway, we started the day going over emails from Lisa Andrews. Lisa was crazy in love with Travis AKA T-Dogg AKA Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde at one point and wanted to marry him. She apparently had a hard time staying away from him once they broke up which proves…what? Travis was kind and funny and attractive and dated people. THE BASTARD!!

Dr. Sexpert started to get into the idea that Travis had a thing for young girls. Juan was up barking lack of foundation (thank god I was starting to think he was sick or had lost his voice or something) and was sustained. Alfred E in his usual “I’m getting paid by the word fashion” began again. Dr. Sexpert got in that Stabby with a bald cooch and braids raised a red flag for her to which I said “why, did Travis hold her down, shave the bitch and braid her hair..OR did she show up that way?” Myself and Jeff Gold seemed to be on the same page because he was as confused as I was as to how this was relevant to anything. Dr. Sexpert also took Ms Jodi’s *BARF,BARF, and BARF* word for it that Travis was pulling it to pics of little boys, never mind that in all these years absolutely ZERO evidence of this has ever been produced and said that was another huge red flag. Because I am nothing if not thorough even if the subject matter is ridiculous and happens to disgust me I did a bunch of research on pedophilia and am now probably on some fucking watch list somewhere. By definition pedophiles have a sexual attraction to children predominantly 11 yrs of age or younger and do not generally cross gender lines. That means that they either like little boys or little girls. Of course as with all things there are those that don’t care, but as a rule, they like boys or they like girls.

Now before we move on to the rest of the paid $300 an hour by the not so great State of Arizona’s witnesses testimony, I have a question for you all. You don’t have to answer out loud if you don’t want to, but answer it in your head and be honest. How many of you were doing sexual things when you were 12, 13, 14 years old. Not forced things, those don’t count, but sexually curious things, be it masturbating, giving someone a handjob, or anything of that nature. With yourself or with someone, doesn’t matter. My point is that at those ages, kids become sexually curious and aware of themselves sexually. Travis was 12 and 13 and 14 at some point. So what are the odds that he might have been playing I will play with yours if you will play with mine with someone around the same age as him and she had an orgasm and that is how he knew what that sounded like? That is a perfectly reasonable and also perfectly normal part of growing up to me. That does not make him a pedophile. I know it’s a gross conversation but somebody had to say it. It is a perfectly reasonable explanation for why that statement ever came out of his mouth. If that was his first experience with a female orgasm it would have been a fond memory and a memory that would have aroused him because he is a man and the wind blowing in the right direction will arouse most of them.

Now, back to Dr. Sexpert. She is officially LaToilette 2.O and has downed the whole gallon of Stabby Kool-Aid. Why oh why would poor Stabby go back to a man she had just allegedly discovered masturbating to pictures he shouldn’t have been, never mind that Napoleon never barked when she came in, never mind that the Christmas decorations she was supposedly there to help him put in the attic were never found, never mind that he decided to masturbate to illegal material in the middle of the day when he knew she was coming and didn’t lock the door, she caught him and it sickened her to the point that she vomited and got a headache. Then she went back to him. According to Dr. Sexpert this would be because she was so blinded by love for him that she could not help herself. (somebody remind me to send Mi’Lady a thank you note for the Pretoria puke bucket) Then she emphatically stated that she was not calling Travis a pedophile, there were just some red flags. She next said that Travis and Stabby were not engaged in any type of unlawful sexual activities which kind of cancels out the red flags she spoke of earlier yeah?

Then she said the most hilariously funny thing I have ever heard in my life. It was put a half can of pop though my nose funny. She said that Travis was the sexually seasoned one and poor wittle Stabbykins was completely unseasoned. This is a woman that could turn at least two aisles in a candy store into sex toys but she was sexually unseasoned. What exactly is Dr. Sexperts standard if this succubus is considered sexually unseasoned by her?

Alfred E. Nurmi was STILL on direct when court was called for the evening and it was announced that due to some magical emergency court would be dark till Thursday. Yup, December 18th is totally going to happen.

Juan apparently has filed a motion for sanctions against Nurms because the hard drive that was provided to the State was one that belonged to some dude name Tony and had nothing to do with the case. He said that Nurmi is obviously trying to stall and he wanted the mirror image of the correct hard drive by noon today, or he wanted Nurmi in front of an ethics committee or facing some jail time. Totally won’t happen, but it goes to show how pissed off Juan is getting.

In totally unrelated news, Charles Manson applied for a marriage license in Kings County today. He is going to marry some chick named Star. Hey, Stabby thinks she’s a star, Manson is marrying a star. Maybe Manson and Stabby are tying the knot. Ewwww, I just gave myself the willies. Christ on a cracker, can you imagine.

So there you have it, a big huge bunch of nothing, much like the rest of the big bunches of nothing that seem to be this entire penalty phase retrial that the defense is trying to turn into a whole new trial. I hate Stabby. I hate this trial. I am starting to hate Arizona. I still love pop tarts.

RBMD peacing the fuck out. Have a great night everybody.

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The Never Ending Stabby Einstein Penalty Phase Re-Trial I Think There Are Antibiotics For That Edition

November 13, 2014

Computer experts should really learn some stuff about computers -Arizona

So sorry about last night everyone.  Apparently whatever they shot me up with at the cardiac center yesterday did not sit well with me and I ended up feeling quite ill.  My Cardiologist is supposed to have the results today and I will know more.

I have been getting the most fascinating emails lately.  It seems that the more ridiculous this farce of a penalty phase retrial becomes; the more desperate becomes the Stabbyites in their desire for me to shut the fuck up.  For example, I one stating that my love of four letter words makes me semi-literate, I got one saying I have no idea what I am talking about, I got one saying I am a flat out idiot.  There are 7 or 8 more which I am going to post in a special I got Stabby’s goat edition.  Oh, and YAY me.

Something happened at yesterdays court part whatever when it appeared that not a Judge Stephens decided she would like to retake the title of sometimes Judge Stephens and put the braked on the I’m Stabby Einstein bitch of course I get my way train.  She denied Alfred E. Nurmi’s motion to remove the cameras from the court room because we might all be reading lips you know.  He filed that motion after we all got to see Cha Cha chewing her cud while everybody was up at the sidebar.   Next, maybe sometimes Judge Stephens told Nurms she wasn’t aware he had made another motion for anything especially anything concerning porn files being deleted from a hard drive.  And then she may or may not have rolled her eyes right into the back of her head.   She then told him to get a fucking witness on the stand.  OK, so as of right now she is back to sometimes Judge Stephens.  Of course whiney pants boohoo’d that he needed at least a two or three day hearing preferably at golden coral to argue the matter and then just for good measure said his next witness was the “computer expert” and they wouldn’t be ready till the 21st of never.  Sometimes Judge Stephens wasn’t having it FOR ONCE and told him to put a witness on the stand NOW.

Nurmi continued to whine, claiming his “computer  expert” had found  the porn files on Travis’ Computer. Then he accused the police and the prosecutor and probably the entire Mormon population of erasing them so Travis wouldn’t look bad.

Someone removed Juans muzzle and he effectively shredded nurmi’s accusations along with an attack dummy shaped like Stabby before he could be darted and quietly led back to his seat.

Remember that virus I told you all about the other night?  Well, guess what?  It was that virus that I told you all about the other night.
He also mentioned that the computer was accessed six days after Travis was murdered. Gee, I wonder by whom?  The day in June when Nurmi claims that the police deleted the files, would be a time when  the computer was in the possession of Stabby’s’ prior defense team. They were the ones who insisted on looking at it, no doubt because Stabby had made sure there was porn on there.   Juan was in the room with them at the time.
Alfred E was so stunned that he actually started to stutter and I actually started to howl uncontrollably because that right there is KARMA with a capital K.  Nurmi of course immediately threw the other defense team under the bus and cried ineffective council yet again.  He also tried to blame the prosecution anyway because why the fuck not.

Judge Stephens was not the one so she told Nurmi she would hear all about it at a later date. Then she said get a witness, get one now or there were going to be issues far more pressing than deleted porn.  Nurmi kicked at the ground, called her a mean old lady under his breath and called Clinical Psychologist, Dr. L.C. Miccio-Fonseca.  She is apparently an expert in Sex disorders.  Sounds like we are probably all going to need an adult before this testimony is over.

The majority of her bought and paid for testimony was about emails between Travis and Chris and Sky Hughes. (Just as an aside, how does anybody know what anyone really means via text? There is no inflection, no body language, it is a sterile written word.) It was just the same stupid email from the trial where Stabby got COVICTED OF FIRST DEGREE AGRAVATED MURDER and was fairly boring.  The only interesting thing is that both the paid for expert and Nurmi kept referring to Travis and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

I pity this bitch when Juan gets up to cross examine because he is still pretty pissed about the whole prosecutorial misconduct thing.

Again guys, so sorry about last night.  This was the very first thing I did when I got up.

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The Stabby Einstein Penalty Phase Re-Trial- Welcome to North Korea Edition

October 30, 2014

We suddenly have ZERO complaints about our justice system – Anywhere that is NOT Arizona

Hai kids. It is me, Stabby hater to the Nth degree, Law Professor and Dean of Fuckery, blogger extraordinaire and resident sarcasm expert Kelly.  Hope everyone is well.  There was no blog yesterday because as we all know, Stabby had a day off and Bashara, who I was going to cover picked the day before to lose his shit and then pass out cold so he’s probably in Psych till Monday.

Court reconvened today in the never ending Stabby trial.  Sometimes Judge Stephens began the day with a 10 minute recess because why the fuck not at this point.  The only reason she said December 12th was because of all the fucking sidebars and recesses.  Court would be done in three weeks otherwise.

After the recess we of course went right to a three minute sidebar before the Jury even came in because that is how every normal court should work. srfoesathoshnf269wyu. Sorry, banged my eahd off of the keyboard  I think the “Judge” has hot pants for Nurmi.  He spends more time in front of her than he does trying to get the CONVICTED MURDERESS something less than death.

Travis’ sister Tanisha, who has been there every day of both trials was present and looking very much like she was going to vomit or pass out.  She was a color that only those who have suffered a horrific tragedy ever are.  That color that is not quite white and not quite grey.  She was carrying papers and everybody realized at about the exact same moment that she was going to read a victim impact statement. It was at this point that I realized this was not going to be one of my normal blogs.

For the very first time since this re-trial started I was grateful that I was not watching this live.  I was suddenly grateful for the buffer that an emotionless tweet can bring, and I was sick for my brethren in the courtroom who had the terrible task of conveying this information to us.  Please everyone give a big thank you to Dave Erickson, Jenn Wood, Jeff Gold, David Lohr and everyone else who has been supplying us with tweets throughout this mess because the price they pay is high.  Not as high by a mile as those that have lived it, but high enough.

Stabby for the first time looked nervous to which I say GOOD.  SWEAT YOU EVIL BITCH!!  She knows that the victim impact statements are going to carry a lot of weight and since they are edited so that things like “I want this bitch to die, preferably by 27 stab wounds” are not heard by the Jury she already knows what they say.  Unfortunately things like this are not allowed in victim impact statements.  It is the exact same in Canada.  I know, I’ve written one for myself.

Tanisha says she is going to do her best to speak for her family, but just a few words in she is already fighting hard against the inevitable tears. Because the fifty billion tears she has already shed have not lessoned her pain, not by a longshot.  The woman standing at the podium right now is a broken human being.

She says she feels fortunate to be blessed with such a wonderful brother.  Sadly at 34 she is now four years older than her older brother will ever be.  He was her best friend growing up, the one who comforted them all in times of crisis and when he died there was no one to comfort them.   She tells how she has been diagnosed with PTSD.  The real PTSD not the fake I need to get out of a murder conviction kind.

She tells how the family has fallen apart since his death, how she cannot get the images of her brother dead, grey and rotting out of her mind. She says she feels guilty now when she has fun, how she alienated her husband and how she lost her faith in God.  It would be here where most of the gallery and a good portion of the Jury gave up even trying to remain emotionless and collectively cried for this family’s pain and loss.

Tanisha’s voice was alive with agony as she described making her brothers funeral arrangements with her Grandmother.  Even Stabby was crying now, really crying not that fake bullshit from before.  She was feeling something.  She may be crying for herself, she may actually be reacting to this woman’s pain, but the tears are real this time.

Tanisha is crying and at a near shriek telling the Jury how she has been forced to relive this over and over.  She just wants to be able to close her eyes and see Travis her brother but she can’t.  Every time she sees Travis it is the dead, grey, decaying and thrown away body crumpled in that shower stall.  Tanisha is done.  She did this one last thing for her brother through her own pain and she did it very well.  Even with the buffer of twitter I found myself crying for the horror that  Stabby has visited upon this family.   And for what?  The wound to her ego was so great that she had to make sure that if she couldn’t have him nobody could have him!!

Tanisha Alexander This is what Stabby does to people.

Steven was up next.  He looks more gaunt then he did during the last trial the pain in his face was very evident.  You could hear a tremble in his voice even more this time and there is just a deep sadness about him.  Here is a link to the last trial so you can hear the victim impact statement in its entirely if you feel so inclined.

Some of the Jurors began to cry once again as Steven read his victim impact statement although not as many as during Tanisha. Jenny from the Cell Block is now obscuring the media view of Stabby. I don’t know if this is tactical or accidental but I am going with column A. After the victim impact statements the sometimes Judge called a 15 minute recess which was desperately needed. The entire REMAINING Alexander family left the court in complete devastation.

Because the Stabbyites are such caring feeling things here is a sample of what they were saying after the Alexander siblings gave their victim impact statements.
the compassion of the Stabbyites. Lets see now.  We feel pain and sadness for the loss that this family has suffered.  They worship a lying, conniving, convicted murderess and say things like this of their obvious pain still after all this time.  Yup, we are totally the haters here.  We should all be ashamed and immediately beg Stabby Fucking Einstein for forgiveness.  If every man that ever called me a bad name was dead we wouldn’t have an overpopulation problem.  Where do all these FREAKS come from?  WHERE?  do they ship them in from some island somewhere?  Island of the fucking idiots?  Island of the brain dead?

Of course because nothing in Stabbyland is ever the way it is supposed to be a sidebar is called again while the Jury is not present. That sidebar is over, the Jury has reconvened and we are immediately taken to another sidebar. This one is never ending. Because of course it is.

The sidebar ended and the media and gallery were kicked from the courtroom. WTF???? We came to find out after a long wait that the defense wanted the mitigation witness to testify under fake names and seal. The sometimes Judge has allowed this farce and the super sekrit witness was allowed on the stand. The media held out for the rest of the day in case anything else happened but the day ended with the Jury leaving looking tired but unemotional and the super sekrit witness remaining unidentified.

For what it is worth; my guess is it was Satan herself on the stand today. Why? Because if there are no witnesses and she is testifying under seal, she can say pretty much with impunity whatever she wants without the backlash of last time. For all we know she could be admitting to everything and begging for forgiveness…….. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! OMG I just put pop through my nose. Yeah, stabby is going to admit that she did something wrong and ask for forgiveness. Zombies will walk the earth before that ever happens.

Of course the media has concerns for things like the constitution, you know that thing that COURTS are supposed to uphold and their lawyers immediately began filing motions. There probably isn’t a lawyer in AZ that is not getting rich off of this trial. This is more serious than money though. This is some Judge that has very obviously gone off of her medication pissing all over your constitution. Is she secretly related to Stabby? Is she secretly from another country? Not mine, we don’t do media blackouts in Canada.
Here is a statement from Mark Casey: Statement from 12 News VP & Station Manager Mark Casey on appealing judge’s ruling closing courtroom:“I am very concerned with this court’s many decisions to conduct secret proceedings. We respect Ms. Arias’ right to a fair trial but do not believe banning the public and the media is constitutional or necessary. We should not become a state or nation of secret courts.”

This tweet today pretty much summed it up. It has been used with permission PV so you don’t have to rush and tell Dave it is here. “This must be a helluva witness if they can command an entire courtroom to be cleared” – Dave Erickson. Journalist, Producer, Social Commentator.

Here is a thought.  Maybe the court could put the Christmas decorations up early and the media could hide behind the Christmas tree.  Or perhaps the court could install a doggie door for the media to crawl through.  It’s totally not breaking any law as long as you go through the doggie door.

I get it now why so much time was allotted for the re-trial. It was for motions to be argued. It has nothing to do with the length of the actual trial. Sometimes Judge Stephens just got demoted to Never Judge Stephens. I swear to you all that this is the most fucked up trial I have every seen. She is going to appeal, it IS going to be granted, and everybody is going to have to do this ALL OVER AGAIN. All because of this Judge. Stabby is probably laughing maniacally back in her cell because she is obviously still pulling all the strings in this trial and she knows it and Judge Stephens better start downloading the paperwork for her unemployment papers because she should be losing her job any time now.

Since Court is dark tomorrow I am dragging in the in-house Psychic for some Halloween readings on Stabby and the Funky Bunch.

RBMD peacing the fuck out!!!

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Out in left field

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Varmt News Network

It's the Internet.

peskyvarmt

Just another WordPress.com site

Asleep in Left Field-My Life

4 out of 5 Friends recommend this WordPress.com site

Out in left field

(Totally fictional) Drama Queen Stories

CALLS FOR JUSTICE

sometimes, there are monsters walking amongst us