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Philip Chism Is Found Sane To The Shock Of Nobody Anywhere

November 4, 2015

Way to rack up those billable hours legal aid!

Hai everyone.  It is me, your Dean of Fuckery/Law Professor/Doctor of Doctoring/honorary DVM/resident sarcasm expert/researcher extraordinaire and Queen of all I survey.

Today in totally not news budding psychopath Philip Jism was found sane and able to stand trial.  Jury selection resumes and we should hopefully have opening statements between the 15 and 20th of this month.

In yet another shot at racking up some more coin the legal aid team brought a couple of motions.  First was for totally a Judge to reverse his decision not to change venue because it was the anniversary time of Colleen’s death.  Second they had a bitch fest about trial start date because their expert may not be available. (as a side note, why does every single defense team in the history of ever try this one?)  Oh yeah, billable hours. Third, Nurmi’s lost twin sister has objected several times now ( like 5 by my count) to the states expert witness, so I cannot wait to see this expert witness.

Since I was waiting for someone with a functioning frontal lobe to say to themselves “Hmmm, he took a box cutter, gloves, a change of clothes, slashed her to death, washed up, changed clothes, stole her credit card, dragged her to where he tossed her like garbage in a recycling bin, and raped her with a tree branch.  Seems to me the boy put more than a little for thought into this.”  And then  stamp a big red SANE stamp across his file I decided to do a little more research into our latest special little snowflake.

Turns out the Jizz isn’t just some garden variety killer. Philip could be is a psychopath. Now, I know we can’t classify him as one till after he turns 18 because the psychiatric community frowns on that; so let me tell you about young Jizm. Turns out that they had only been in the community a few months because they had to move. They marriage was not the hippy peace and love thing that Mom of stabby I mean Jism, sorry got confused for a second, is peddling to the news. They were violent, he says she was, she says he was the cops say they both were. That however is not why they moved. They moved because young Jism as it turns out liked to light cats on fire, or beat them to death with rocks. Apparently once enough cats had gone missing someone caught him and they were basically run out of town.

Have you all heard of the dark net? I don’t suggest you ever go there without a barf bucket and your psychiatrist on speed dial, but you can find out all manner of things there. Juvenile records, old psych reports, and assorted things that I won’t get into. Anyway, turns out Jizzy was also a bed wetter until he was almost 10. He was basically unsupervised, watched a shit ton of online porn and was by all accounts a loner. Probably because most people don’t enjoy the hobby of burning cats. Put that all together and you got yourself one psychopath on the rise and my guess is, that is EXACTLY what the prosecution expert is going to say.

Legal Aid is no doubt doing the happy sad mad dance right now. Happy because payday, mad because they didn’t get their way, sad because they know they are going to lose. Meh, sucks to be them.

That’s it for tonight
RBMD peacing the fuck out

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I Decided To Go Spelunking And See What I Could Find.

October 25, 2015

Good day everyone.  Your Law Professor/Dean of Fuckery/Doctor of Doctoring/Honorary DVM and Queen of all I survey has been doing a little bit of background on our precious little snowflake Philip Jism.  I had to look under a lot of rocks and at a lot of nasty bugs but I did find a veritable cornucopia of EWWWWWW.

Let us start where all good psychopaths start, at home.  Diana Jism, mom of Beelzebub was asked down to the station in hopes she might know where Colleen Ritzers body was.  She asked if she would require a lawyer and then went on to chat about how much Satan loves soccer and how he had only been in trouble one time in the two whole months he had been at Danvers High School.  At this point she was unaware that he was at the station.  Once she found that out the  first words out of her mouth were “did he hurt somebody?”  She thought it was the Spanish teacher.  Not another student but the Spanish teacher.  She admitted having no idea what her kid was doing between the end of school and when soccer practice started.  The next words out of her mouth and the ones that burn my ass like I ate a jar of hot sauce for dinner were “I do know he is capable of snapping, my son could have snapped, he is capable of that.” 

So, mom of Jism knew she had a rabid dog on her hands, failed to get any kind of intervention for said rabid dog like councelling  or a psychiatrist and sent him off to school every day.  She should need a fucking lawyer.

Moving on to the next rock lets bring out the legal aid attorneys.  I know we talked about who they are but now lets take a look at what they have done so far.   Firstly, I’d like to add the caveat the everyone has a job to do.  ditch diggers dig ditches, garbage men pick up garbage and legal aid attorneys do their best to get their slimball bastard clients off.   You know how in class there is always the top of the class and then that guy that barely makes it through?  Welcome to legal aid.  Thus far they have had his confession tossed as being coerced, they have pleaded Jism not guilty and have tried but failed to have him tried as a juvenile and to have the venue moved.  This is the job they get very  little money to do.  Now, since they are aware they are pretty much screwed they have decided on an insanity defense.  Just to waste some more time.  And money.  Billable hours add up you know.

Rock number 3 brings us to Philip Jism and it was a particularly icky one.  Covered in slime and crawling with bugs.

Jism has been a busy little Psychopath.  Not only did he rape, kill and desecrate the body of Colleen Ritzer, the sweet gentle little snowflake also made time to assault a staff member at the department of youth services in June.  He “allegedly” tried to strangle the woman at the Metro Youth Facility.  He followed her into a bathroom, and assaulted her until co-workers heard her scream and rushed in to help.  Charges are attempted murder by strangulation, assault with intent to murder, kidnapping and two counts of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon.  My goodness, if I didn’t know any better I’d say our budding your psychopath has a modus operandi.

The insanity defense I am pretty sure came from Jism, the lawyers are just going with it.  All of a sudden, Jism is hearing voices, banging his head off of things and asking officers to shoot him.  I wonder if that would count as assisted suicide and we could just be done with this.

This brings us to now. Jury selection has been halted while we play out this little charade of insanity.  Totally a Judge David Lowy ordered an evaluation which could take up to 20 days. He is being evaluated at the Worcester Recovery Center and Hospital where he is being held in an adult locked unit and has no access to any unsecured areas.

Lead prosecutor Kate MacDougal while rolling her eyes so hard they almost bounced across the room said she expects the exam will find Jism completely competent.  He has a long and storied history of manipulation to get what he wants.

I turned over a lot of rocks.  You’re welcome

RBMD Peacing the Fuck Out

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The Really Big Mean Dog School Of Law Presents: If You’re Fucked And You Know It Plead Insanity

October 20, 2015

Hello Class, it’s me your law professor/Dean of fuckery/ queen of all I survey.  As you can see by the title, tonight’s class is on the insanity defense.

The insanity defense is always, ALWAYS used as a last resort.  We in the law profession (not really) call it the defense of last resort for a reason.  Unless you are a helmet wearing, window licking, roadkill kissing, dog fucking mess, it ain’t gonna work.  The defense just uses it because they are pretty much out of any other option. Well other then yup, he did it, throw him in with a couple of short eyes and lock the fuckin door.

The problem with the insanity defense as one of our astute readers pointed out is that we (the state) have to prove that he wasn’t insane AT THE TIME HE COMMITTED THE ATTROCITIES IN QUESTION.  His mental state now has little to no bearing unless of course he is displaying any of the above mentioned afflictions.

Before we get into the state of Mr. Jism’s mental capacity at the time, let us take a moment to question why there is no death penalty unless you happen to be a fuckin Boston Bomber.  Massachusetts saves the death penalty for acts of terrorism only.  I bet if somebody asked Colleen about terrorism before she died she’d vote for the fucking needle.

Anyway, getting back to Jism’s state of sanity at the time of the offense. He went to school armed with a box cutter, gloves, a ski mask and a change of clothing.   He is accused of attacking her in the restroom on the second floor of the high school at 3:30pm.  That time is important. It is important because most of the student body was gone.   He removed her body from the school in a recycling bin and dumped it out in the adjacent woods and disposed of the body. He took the time to rape her with a branch and then cover her with leaves and debris.  He robbed her of her cell phone, credit cards and panties.   He then went and saw a  movie and had some fast food for dinner.

Now, I don’t want to be a party pooper, but it seems to me that Jism went to school knowing full well that he was going to kill Colleen, he has the presence of mind to take extra clothes and get rid of his bloody ones, he covertly got her body out of the school in a recycling bin, her perpetuated more atrocities, he robbed her so he could presumably go to a movie and get some taco bell and he had the foresight to try and cover the body.

I don’t see any glass licking going on anywhere.  About the only part he fucked up in a well planned murder was he fucking got caught.  Therefore, I surmise this is just to kill three more weeks or so while his lawyers come up with the now patented his parents beat him with a wooden spoon and they did a lot of coke and shit while he was three or four.  I forget.

Class dismissed

RBMD peacing the fuck out.


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Varmt News Network

It's the Internet.

peskyvarmt

Just another WordPress.com site

Asleep in Left Field-My Life

4 out of 5 Friends recommend this WordPress.com site

Out in left field

(Totally fictional) Drama Queen Stories

CALLS FOR JUSTICE

sometimes, there are monsters walking amongst us