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None Of It Was Real, We Were Trying To Get A Reality Show…er Jeffrey MacDonald Killed His Whole Entire Family Part 7

January 10, 2018

 

Hello my lovelies.  Your Dean of Fuckery, Doctor of Doctoring, Writer of enviable amicus briefs, Horse whisperer, dog lactation consultant, Honorary DVM, Resident sarcasm expert, author of the big book of words, And Queen of all I survey am back with whatever part this is of the Jeffrey MacFuckface Trial.

This is going to be another hoppy, skippy, jumpy one because I can’t help but jump back and forth to give you the entire picture of what went down during this whole shit show of a grand jury hearing and almost not a trial and then a trial.

Victor Woerheide was the one who had been ultimately charged with seeing that Macwhythefuckareyoustillusingourair was indicted and he took that job very seriously.  I actually saw somewhere yesterday erroneously stated in a book no less that Colette was 8 months pregnant.  Colette was five months pregnant with a male fetus when she was bludgeoned and stabbed and ice picked to death.  You know, it just struck me, if you substituted that piece of timber for a .25 calibre handgun we’d have a male stabby.  Hippies, ninjas, tomato, tomahto.

Anyway, Woerheide had some innate talent for getting under MacStabby’s skin.  He had Jeffy bellowing at him during certain parts of his questioning at the grand jury inquiry.  He was very quick to anger and the grand jury saw it.  He flat out refused (on advice of council) to take either a lie detector or sodium amytal interview.  YAY, we are now at the science part of the program.  Okay, so in the late 70’s after having gathered data that was available about lie detectors at that time, I wouldn’t have taken a lie detector test either, they were too new and actually rather unreliable.  Sodium amytal on the other hand was simply a barbiturate which is a drug that acts on the central nervous system to calm anxiety and induce drowsiness and lowers ones ability to lie.  If someone is looking for a simple answer as to whether someone did or did not do something this was the drug to use.  As in did you murder your entire family because you are a complete dick and you were just tired of them?  Or Were there hippies in the house the night your family was murdered?  Jeffy Weffy had to go out and confer with his Lawyer Bernie Segal which took a long time because Bernie had to write something for Jeffy to read to the grand jury, then he had to get copies for Woerheide and the grand jurists and it took a lot of time.  Basically all it said was a sodium amytal interview would make the person taking the amytal relive the event which would be too traumatic for him.  Seriously, you can take a drug and they say, he Jeff did you kill your family and you say nope and the Grand Jury would have come back probably immediately with a no bill but you say you don’t want it because it would be to traumatic.  Oh fuck puhlease.  If there is a drug that they could give you and it would basically clear you if you were telling the truth who in the fuck would not take it?   Oh a guilty one, that’s who.

So okay Woerheide got tired of playing with the long eviscerated carcass of Macdouchbag and they voted and he was indicted on three counts of murder.  YAY.

Bernie Segal immediately peed on the parade and filed a motion that he had not been afforded a speedy trial and therefor this should be thrown out.  While the fourth circuit court decided on this issue  MacHolyfuckIcan’tbelievethishappened got let out on bail  They ultimately decided that MacDieofahorribledisease  only had an article 32 which is basically the army equivalent of a  grand jury inquiry and because the military and civilian court were two totally different things,  jeopardy was NOT attached.  The FBI skipped on down to California to bring him back to Raleigh to face trial for the murder of his wife and two and a half children.  Jeffrey was shocked that he being mister perfect and all was not being believed by any of these people.  It was starting to piss him off a little.

In the interim between bail and the courts decision Victor Woerheide dropped dead of a heart attack on his front lawn.  Freddy was beside himself.  Woerheide was his bulldog, Woerheide would make sure Jeffy paid.  Brian Murtagh assured him that a very excellent lawyer would be taking Woerheide’s place.  Enter James Blackburn.  James Blackburn had never tried a murder case his entire career and was the complete antithesis of everything Woerheide had been.  It was now Mildred who did her best to shore up Freddy after  so many years of it being the other way around.  Mildred calmed Freddy down and said she had faith that while Mr. Blackburn may have a different way about him, he would not have been assigned this case if he did not have the necessary tools to get the job done.  Freddy would turn out to be greatly surprised by the tenacity of Mr. Blackburn. He wasn’t a bulldog, he was a bull terrier.

Jeffy and company set up camp at a frat house and proceeded to prep for trial.  He was still out on bond and one day he decided to give an  interview to a rookie reporter.  when asked about the trial he became indignant.  This is what he said. “There is no case,” MacDonald said. “They know there is no case. What they are trying to do is, they are trying to mound up a pile of stuff and make it look like a good investigation was done, and then in a closing argument, unbuttressed with any facts at all, they’re going to misinterpret the witnesses’ words. You watch.”

He heaped special scorn on two people he held principally responsible: His stepfather-in-law, Alfred Kassab, whose complaint with the Justice Department was the basis for re-opening the case; and Assistant U.S. Attorney Brian Murtagh, who helped prepare the case for trial.

And then he brought it up. The blue pajama top.

MacDonald had worn it the night of the murders. He said a government expert had come up with a model of that shirt, which would be shown during the trial.
“(It’s) something he devised in 1974 that he felt added to the case,” MacDonald said
He didn’t seem particularly worked up about this model. And showing my inexperience, I didn’t ask him to explain further.

But a few weeks later, its significance showed when the former FBI expert, Paul Stombaugh, took the stand.
Stombaugh said the shirt had 48 ice pick holes in it, more than four times the number of wounds found on MacDonald. None of the holes matched his wounds. But it was possible to fold the shirt in such a way that the holes equaled the 21 ice pick thrusts into the chest of MacDonald’s wife, Colette.
The shirt was found on her chest. MacDonald said he only put it there after regaining consciousness and finding her severely wounded.
But prosecutors asserted that he stabbed his wife with the ice pick through the pajama top to simulate an attack on him. { *Rick Thames*}

In one of the most brilliant maneuvers in courtroom history, Brian Murtagh had Jim Blackburn flail away at him as he held a pyjama top of the same type wrapped around his hands as MacFuckingdiealready had said his hands had been trapped in the top.  Even in the controlled setting of the courtroom, Brian Murtagh received a significant icepick wound on his hand.  Jeffy had received not a single wound of any kind other than those already spoken of.  He had never had any wounds on his hands, fingers or forearms.  It was a shocking display, especially when the unravelled the top and saw all the ragged torn holes, not nice little cylindrical punctures like the holes in the actual pyjama top.

Bernie Segal, who had his head so far up his own ass that he actually thought they were winning the thing asked if Mr. Murtagh required a doctor to some tittering from the gallery.

That’s it for tonight kids.  Tomorrow, what a bloody mess, trying to suborn perjury and if they hear about  that pony one more time they are gonna puke.

 

 

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I Am On Day Three Of My Never Sleep Again Tour So You Will Have Part…What Fucking Part Are We On Of The Macfuckhead Trial Later Tonight Or Tomorrow.

January 10, 2018

 

My loyal subjects.  Your queen is very tired, and is unable to sleep.  I am being harangued by ghosts of days gone by and they won’t let me alone.  I’m working on the Macasshole thing still don’t worry I won’t leave you hanging, I am just trying to clarify something I just thought of 44 years later and if I thought of it, I bet MacDouchebag did too and I am trying to get an answer.  Won’t say till I find out because I do have confirmation that annihilator wife is reading the blog and it is making her very unhappy which is making me really happy.  So, from Colette, Kimmie, Kristen, Freddy,  me, Victor Worheide, everyone at the no kill shelter and Mildred, eat a dick you fucking embezzling your mentally ill brother in laws money crazy fuckwit cunt.  It’s the only one you’ll be seeing in this lifetime anyway, unless you have some sort of arrangement.

Anyway, I have something for show and tell.  Remember when my invisible dog warf died?  Well I got me a new invisible one named Ted. E. Bear. Esq.

ted e bear

He was born at the beginning of November and as of his vet check  he weighs 37lbs.  Ain’t he a cutie pie?  I know you can’t see him because he doesn’t exist, but there he is.

Please ignore the castle flooring.  It is being re-done if the guy I want to do it still wants to trade for a truck which is the plan.  The floors are 31yrs old so yeah they need to be done.  I know.

Also in my I’m so tired I want to fall down state I re-attached the door to the pantry, fixed a couple of lights, did laundry I think.  I have to check that because I may have hallucinated that.  Who knew 17 year old boys were prone to rages.  He is getting a crash plastering course tonight because he has a lot of holes to fix.  Dumbass broke his hand punching the wall and then picked the cast off so he could take his driving test.  So now he needs a new cast, but he did pass his driving test.  I even let him take the car to school today.  He is getting tired of driving already because now my invisible agoraphobia doesn’t have to make itself go outside.

Anyway, don’t worry, there is plenty more of Jeffrey Macfuckmeintheass to come.  Likely tonight so watch for it.

RBMD peacing the fuck out.


I Was Cleaning The Gun And It Accidentally Went Off…Twice. Fuck, Sorry My Bad…The Jeffrey MacDonald Killed His Whole Entire Family Part 6

January 5, 2018

My lovelies your dean of fuckery, doctor of doctoring, writer of amicus briefs that Macdonald should probably utilize, pretend judge, horse whisperer, author of the big book of words and all around sarcasm expert is baaaaack.

Sorry, I had to go through a literal fuckton of paperwork to find some stuff yesterday.

So quick recap.  Everybody dies except the green beret.  The hippies did it except they didn’t.  The cid really, really fucks up the investigation. An Article 32 is convened.  Bernie Segal is hired.  He was Jeffy’s idiot lawyer.  Article 32 concludes there is not enough evidence to proceed to court martial but refuses to state he is innocent either which really, burns his ass.

He decided California is the place to be now and starts working in a hospital there.  He purchases a masaratti and a yacht.  While purchasing said yacht he meets (get the puke buckets) the most sensual woman he has ever seen in his life and fucking their brains out takes up a large portion of their time.

While Jeffy is getting his shit together in California, Freddy has finally gotten hold of the article 32 transcripts, gone through them, gone to Fort Bragg, reviewed the evidence and is now fully convinced that his son in law, whom he had truly loved had slaughtered his family.  He told the CID he would not rest until good ole the hippies did it Jeffy paid for what he did.

Jeffrey had gotten wind that his most fervent supporter had suddenly done a 180 and he was a little concerned.  He called Freddy, who unbeknownst to Macdon’tyoueverfeeleveralittlebitbad was recording their conversations and said, one down three to go alluding that he and some of his strangle them with piano wire ilk had killed one of the intruders.  It was of course just more bullshit in an attempt to get Freddy to back off.  He may as well have waved a cape in Freddy’s face.

So where was I.  Oh yeah, Victor Worheide.  You are going to be hearing a lot of new names in this segment but these two, Victor Worheide and Brian Murtagh are going to be the most important other than Freddy.  I am trying to get hold of Brian Murtagh who works for the department of justice, I will let you know if I succeed.  I have been transferred to a hundred different people in the department of justice and you can seriously hear the eye roll as soon as you say MacDonald.  I’ve left a message for Brian who is indeed still alive and was very kind to a kid about 30 years ago when I called with a question, and I’m also after a special guest I won’t mention on here because as we all know he is invisible anyway.

Okay, so Brian Murtagh who was the lead on the Lockerbie bombing case by the way (which is a huge big deal) decided to make it his mission much like Freddy to bring whoever did this to justice.  He meticulously gathered evidence, went over transcripts, viewed crime scene photo’s, re-interviewed everybody and came to the exact same conclusion as Freddy.  Macdiefuckerdiediedie was a lying, conniving piece of shit and he killed his wife and three cuz she was pregnant children.   It became his life’s work to put him away and keep him away for ever and ever and ever.

While Brian and Freddy were busy Hardy boying that shit, Macdoucheface was shopping his story around to true crime writers and landed on Joe I love you so fucking much MacGuinness.   Bad choice.  Bad, bad choice.

Before I go any farther, Joe took a lot and I mean a lot of flack over pretending to be MacDonald’s friend in order to get him to talk.  I have a question.  If you straight up said to a guy, I’ve been around you for six months now and I think you are guilty as fuck would MacDonald have kept talking? Nope.   MacGuinness did what writers do, he was empathetic and according to him he really did feel bad, but non committal.  He was exceptionally good at deflecting whenever the question of do you think I did it came up.  It did come up, but not often because Jeffy was smarter than everyone remember.

Okay I know you are all chomping at the bit to know who Victor Worheide was.  I say was because he is quite unfortunately dead now.  I light a candle for him sometimes no lie because were it not for him Jeffrey would be walking around right now.  Gotta back up a bit first.

Freddy went to the library of congress and found out he could swear out a citizens complaint against Jeffy, so he, Peter Kearns (one of the CID dudes that walked the crime scene with Freddy), and Attorney Richard Cahns did exactly that requesting the convening of a grand jury.  In the summer of 1974 Attorney Victor Worheide after going over all the evidence accepts the case for the grand jury.  Brian Murtagh requests to be assigned as does Judge Franklin Dupree a subordinate Judge.

Let’s talk about Victor Worheide for a minute.  Just a minute because I have such mad respect for the man.  He was a bulldog.  He was hesitant to take the case because all of the evidence was circumstantial.  It was actually a question he asked Murtagh that was answered by Freddy that changed his mind.  He asked Murtagh what was in it for him. Freddy answered.  There are some of us sir, Mr. Murtagh being one of them thank god, who are guided by one thought and that is the butchered bodies of a pregnant woman and two little girls.  That did it.  Victor was sold.

On August 12th 1974 a grand jury was convened and I’m smarter than all of you Macfuckmeintheasstillidie waived his right to shut the fuck up and testified for five days.  He was eviscerated by Victor Worheide.   January 21st 1975 MacCuntface again waived his right to shut the fuck up and Worheide took his eviscerated parts and paraded them around the room.   January 24th 1975 Macwhydidn’tIjustshutthefuckup was indicted on three counts of murder.

Tomorrow statutes of limitations, limitations of statutes of limitations and holy fuck they are seriously gonna make me go to trial.

Reallybigmeandog Peacing the fuck out.


While I Am Writing Part 8 Million Of The Colette Kimmie and Kristen All Got Murdered Saga Here Is Part Of A Horror Fiction I Am Working On.

January 4, 2018

So your queen would like to know what you think.

 

 

 

Mac sat with Wrath at a metal table bolted into a metal floor with artificial light being pumped in overhead. Mac perused the clinical surroundings that had housed his children for more than 2 decades and had one of his momentarily flashes of sadness that this was the way it had to be. It was a prison, a nice one but a prison non the less. I should have caught you after the Watkins case he started, stutter stepped and stopped. The Watkins case. For a moment all he saw was the blood. So much blood it was like an ocean had been let loose in the house Wrath had stormed. And that was before they started to find the limbs, and…then the things that had been instruments of torture to the children.   Wrath had been quite artistic in her placing of one ripped out penis into the mouth of its owner. A disgustingly obese man who smelled now of blood and bacon grease.

The Watkins had been part of a large ring of  pedophiles, something all of Delta but especially Wrath abhorred. Actually, it was the one thing guaranteed to send her completely into the abyss and it had. The government had counted on it. She went in alone and weaponless and she had saved nine terrified children. She sent Tobias to bring them out, she was covered in so much gore she was afraid she would scar them more than they were already scarred. Chunks of meat hung from her normally white hair, now bright red with gore, bits of skin clung to her claw like nails. There was still uneaten  flesh in her teeth. And she was still completely incensed and looking for something, anything to turn it on. Next he recalled the agents hustling towards her, double quick, shackles in hand and her waiting patiently, almost too patiently, completely motionless as they were attached to her. Shackles, manacles, belly chains. It was the same for them all.

The others had fought the first few times, and caused a serious amount of very grievous injuries until Wrath had calmly spoken one word. Enough. As one they had stopped. Wrath had never fought. She alone understood the rules of this particular game and she was happy to go along. The chains were to make the handlers feel like they were safe. Delta belonged to the government and they were the most dangerous things on the planet. They had been part of a…selective breeding program for lack of a better term, and they could, would and did kill anything that they were pointed at. They had tracking chips, and poison capsules encased in light metal implanted in their bodies just in case and the only time they were free of their chains was when they were at home or when they were working. She had disabled the poisons 20 years ago not that she figured it would have done much anyway, and the machine still said they were in fine functioning order. She could have mentally unlocked all of the chains any time she wanted to. The fact was she just didn’t want to. She did not see the point. It was not time to go to ground, she would know when that time came and it wasn’t yet.


We Were Taking Pictures And She Just Fell Off The Cliff…Goddammit Wrong Trial Again…The Hippies Did It Part 5 Of Quite Possibly Infinity

January 3, 2018

Hello my lovelies.  Firstly, thanks for hanging in, I know this is long but, you have to be aware of everything or it’s just boring.  Second, could you let me know you are reading this cuz while I am happy to write for myself, questions and stuff always get my juices flowing and truthfully this is a tremendously huge trial, like Manson huge and I already know it.  I know a lot of things you may not. Much like Colette’s brother bill, I have followed every court filing since this became a thing and I was pretty young when this became a thing.  I have an accordion file stretched way past it’s limitations.  I have a couple of letters from people who worked with him who assure me he seemed like a completely normal human type person.  Oh, they totally believe he did it now, but they would not have bet on it back then.   I’ve got court transcripts, which cost a fucking fortune by the way even way back then. I cut a LOT of lawns to get those transcripts.

Renae, I know this is semi personal for you so if you would share what you know about him  outside of the I killed my whole family person it might be helpful but only if you are comfortable with that and we still love you no matter what. Also, if this is hard for you because you knew him I am really sorry.  Like sincerely because I would not hurt you on purpose for anything.   I get it.  It would be like mama going out and climbing a clock tower.  None of us would believe it cuz we know her.

Also I am running out of things to call Macfuckface which is a thing that has never happened before and scares me a little.

Okay, I’m going to go out of order for a minute because there are a few things I left out that you need to know.  First, the only blood found in the living room was one speck of blood that belonged to Kristen the youngest on his glasses and MacDoesn’tsatanwantthisfuckerbackyet swore on three separate occasions he was not wearing his glasses when he checked the children they had been lost during the EPIC struggle in the living room.  Blood drops, almost non existent but enough to type were found on the bathroom sink in front of the mirror where one might stand to insert say a scalpel in between a couple of ribs.  Blood type B.  I’ll let you figure out who had the B type blood.  It will make it more fun.  There were zero, none, nada, zip, keine, bila, blue fibres from the FEROCIOUS struggle found in the living room.  Oh that last one is Swahili just in case you were wondering. Same goes for club splinters.  Not a single one.  80 million in the master bedroom but none in the living room.  The lighting in the living room was such that it would have been impossible to see anything but silhouettes.  PERIOD.  stripes, colors, wigs, boots, BULLSHIT.  Didn’t happen.

Now, it is a very rare thing for a family of four to all have different blood types.  The CID said one in ten Thousand.   That sounded high so I checked. That statement is accurate.  And guess what.  Jeffy’s family happened to be that one in ten thousand.  All four people had different blood types and boy did the blood have a story to tell.  Even if Jeff wasn’t going to give it up, and he wasn’t. Not then, not now, not ever the blood did the talking and it had a most horrible story to tell.   We will get to that soon.  And yes I am avoiding it.

Here is a little factoid that not many people know.  Jeffy fucked around on Colette fourteen times that she knew about and I’m thinking number 15 was probably what made her whack him with that hairbrush and start the beginning of the end of her life.  Those 14 are not conjecture they are fact.

So instead of writing out a very complicated explanation of the blood analysis here is paul Stombaugh, the leader in the field  of blood analysis to do it for me because quite frankly I just don’t want to write it.

Let me know when you are done, I’ll wait.  I’m bawling right now, not gonna lie, can you imagine being this father and having to sit through this because he has no other purpose but to put his child’s murderer behind bars. If you believe in such things,  Freddy Kassab is in heaven now with his daughter and his grandchildren and his wife.  It was because of the single mindedness of this one man that they got him.

I’ll be back with more later, I’ll just let you digest what this man went through to get his daughters killer for a minute and I have to collect myself a bit.

RBMD hoping Jeffy dies of some incurable anal venereal disease that really fucking hurts and Peacing the fuck out

EDIT: CRIME SCENE PHOTO’S YES OR NO BECAUSE I HAVE THEM AND THEY ARE PRETTY FUCKING BAD.  ACTUALLY THAT IS A COMPLETE AND UTTER LIE.  THEY LEFT PRETTY FUCKING BAD AND WENT STRAIGHT TO HOW IN THE FUCK COULD ANYBODY EVER DO THIS.

 


Help Me And My Brother Just Got Home From The Movies And My Parents Have Been Shot…Nope That’s Not It…Oh Yeah The Hippies Did It. Part Four

January 2, 2018

Hello my lovelies.  You are going to want to hang on to your Pretoria puke buckets, I think much puking is going to be involved in this portion of our program.  Apparently absolute incredulousness can also make one spontaneously vomit.  You have been warned.

So, The CID decided they had enough to hold what is known as an article 32 hearing which is basically the army version of a grand jury.  Now I kid you not even a little when I say that the army had royally fucked up the crime scene.  if someone had turned loose a herd of free range cattle the result would have been about the same.  That being said, the army  is nothing if not scrupulously thorough about niggly little details that are apt to come back to bite one directly in the ass.  For example, it was a rainy night, like torrentially rainy.  So, the acid is groovy kill the pigs hippies were out wandering in the torrential downpour with a candle and all of them  (don’t forget the extra 3 that were killing the family while Jeffrey MacIhateyousofuckinghardpieceofshit was fighting for his life in the living room did not track one little tiny bit of water or mud into the house.  Nor did they track it in and clean it up cuz guess what?  The army checked for water wipe marks.  There weren’t any.  The article 32 was a bust and he was declared neither guilty or innocent just that there was insufficient evidence to proceed to court martial.

Freddy in the mean time was still on the Jeffrey is innocent band wagon, and then Dick Cavett happened.  Dick Cavett for those of you who didn’t ride dinosaurs to Sunday School was a late night talk show host.

Here is a linky to actual interview on Cavett 

Earlier in the day Freddy had told Jeffrey that he had a magazine that was willing to follow him around for several months and blow the whole thing wide open and Jeffrey asked about how much of his expenses they were willing to pay.  Freddy understandably was somewhat taken aback.   He had also been hounding Jeffy for a copy of he article 32 hearing and Jeffy was saying stupid shit like he’d get court martialed.  Which of course was bullshit, but of all the people on the entire planet Freddy Kassab was probably the last person on earth Jeffrey wanted to have a copy of that hearing.  For very good reason.

Jeffrey MacIamthebiggestcocksuckerthateverlived went on Dick Cavett and he um, exaggerated if by exaggerate you go with outright lied.  He said he had 23 potentially life threatening wounds, he was in intensive care, he had surgery blah blah blah.  Freddy remembers seeing him in the hospital the night it happened sitting up eating dinner with not so much as Mecurochrome on him.  Superficial scratches and a pneumothorax.  PS I hate that word.

Then Freddy got the article 32 transcripts and that my friends is when Freddy Kassab, who had stood before the army and said if he had another daughter he would want he same son in law, discovered that he had made a very grievous error in judgement.  HUGE.   Freddy Kassab was a man of singular purpose.  It had taken him far in life, no matter what he did, his total focus on whatever it was, was truly something to behold.  He first went through the article 32 transcripts and came up with a list of 123 statements that he knew to be outright lies.  Like this shit never, ever happened.  There were more statements that were less than believable at best, like the part where he said he did the dishes.  Both Freddy and Mildred had known Jeffrey since he was fourteen years old and both of them knew they had never seen him do a dish in all that time.

Freddy had a talk with Mildred, one she did not want to hear and promised her that if Jeffrey MacDickintheass had done it, he would not rest until he proved it and justice was done for Colette, Kimmie, and Kristen and baby male fetus.

His next stop was fort brag where he was allowed access to the apartment that had been sealed up for all this time due to the ongoing investigation and was greeted with the bloodstains and smells that never go away of his now long dead family.  He never waivered.  He went through every word Macdiefuckerdie had to say at the article 32 and came out now completely convinced that the son in law he had loved like his own child had slaughtered his daughter and her children.

In the living room in particular he saw the scope of Jeffrey’s lies.  There were some valentines atop a credenza standing up.  Freddy asked if they had been moved or stood back up or anything like that.  When it was confirmed that this was a negative he stamped his feet twice hard and the cards fell down.  Just from stamping his feet.  He proved to the army guys that it would have been impossible to see anything in the light of the living room.  Hair color, skin color, hell he couldn’t tell which CID officer was which in that light.

At the end of the walk through they asked Freddy if he was satisfied.  He said he was.  I’m satisfied that my son in law murdered my daughter and her children.  They explained to him that it was going to be an uphill battle to which Freddy Kassab, who was an extraordinary man told them he planned to live a long life and he had the patience of Job.  Turned out both were true.

Tomorrow tune in for blood evidence, crazy odds, and a pyjama top that just would not go away.

Reallybigmeandog peacing the fuck out.

PS keep the puke buckets handy.

 


I Got Carjacked By A Black Man And My Kids Are In The Car…Goddammit way wrong trial. The Hippies Did It Part 3

January 1, 2018

Hai my lovelies.  We are at that titular moment where your queen must ask that you go get out your Pretoria puke buckets because shit is about to get mad real.  I have barf bags for anyone who has misplaced their Pretoria puke bucket.

So when we left Dr Fuckface he was dyyyyyyying and the MP’s and EMS had arrived.  Now they had multiple dead and the aforementioned dyyyyyying not a doctor MacDonald to deal with.  So they basically trampled the crime scene into oblivion.  Some fuckhead stood a flowerpot up,  someone lifted MacDouchebags wallet, and eleventy billion footprints went in and out of the house.  It was not what one would call a pristinely kept crime scene.

Shit I forgot a weapon.  Bad queen, bad, bad queen.  There was also a Geneva forge steak knife that was impaled in Colette’s chest.  It is important because one of the first spontaneous utterances from MacDiemotherfuckerdie was tell the MP’s I pulled the knife out of her chest cuz guess what finger prints were about to appear on the Geneva Forge steak knife…I’ll wait.  Machowisthisfuckerstillalive’s finger prints that’s whose.  Five points for Griphendore.  Anyway, stupid actually did give himself a omg I’m going to have to spell that again fuck it he collapsed his lung.  That was pretty much the extent of his injuries.  a collapsed lung which was self inflicted and a hair brush booboo.

Colette suffered two broken in several places arms, She was stabbed `16 times with a knife,  21 not 14 like I erroneously said yesterday icepick puncture wounds, and a whole bunch of blue fibres underneath the body that was already dead when MacAsshole got there.  Hmmm. Odd. Colette was pregnant with a 5 month old fetus of male gender.  And in the words of Forrest Gump that is all I have to say about that.    Then there was the word PIG (cue helter skelter) written on the headboard of the bed with a whole bunch of blue fibres scattered at the bottom of where the word was written.  Strange that.  These blue fibres just seem to be in all kinds of places that they should not be.  Maybe the hippies did it.  Except that they didn’t. These pesky fibres seemed to be showing up in the oddest places.  Both children’s rooms, under the blankets in the children’s rooms, on Colette, under Colette.  And wood splinters.  Lots of wood splinters in very strange places.  Now poor little Jeffy was at the hospital and Mr. and Mrs. Kasaab, who happened to really love Jeff went to see him at the hospital and my only thinking here is that they were so grief stricken that they were willing to believe anything at this point.  Anything that would explain the slaughter of their entire family.

MacGofuckyourselfwithapineapple fell asleep in the living room and it was there that he was awakened by someone thumping him with a club.  Then he heard his entire family screaming simultaneously which puts at least three more people in an army issue housing unit so that’s seven and him being a green beret and all had to save his family.  somehow and this is important it will be on the test, somehow got his pyjama top pulled up over his head and wrapped around his arms.  He used it to ward off blows from some kind of blade and the next thing he knew he woke up in the hallway.  The pyjama top was still wrapped around his wrists at this point, torn, shredded and he took it off as he went into the bedroom.

Wanna know where they didn’t find any blue fibres or wood splinters?….I’ll wait…THE LIVING ROOM where Jeffrey MacDiebitchdie was in the middle of a life and death struggle with not one, not two, not three but four hippies high on acid.  Acid is groovy kill the pigs.  Oh PUHLEASE.  It was that statement right there that convinced me he did it.  that one single statement.

So now Jeffy has regained consciousness  and he ran a marathon with his mortal (puke buckets would now be appropriate) wounds. He called for help,  He ran to check Colette, he gave her artificial respiration which just came out in bloody bubbles on her chest, he ran to check his own wounds, he checked both children, he looked out back (oddly enough that is where all the murder weapons were found) and he called for help again.  Under two minutes he performed all those acts in.  Look out Hussein Bolt.

The CID figured out pretty fast that Macyougointojailbitch did it.  It was pretty simple math.  It was proving it and they made a huge, gigantic mess out of that.  So much so that Macyouaresogoingtobechangingthatbabiesdiapersinhellforever almost got away with it.

They brought him in for questioning and pointed out he obvious, that they had seen all night poker parties that had caused more damage than the damage in the living room where a struggle between four acid fueled hippies and one green beret took place.

Freddy Kasaab was at first MacDidImentionIwouldlikeyoutodie his staunchest supporter.  Funny thing that.  It would be Freddy Kasaab who truly loved Jeffrey at that point in time that would be MacMygodyouareapieceofshit’s biggest supporter.  Want to know what is even funnier.  It would be Freddy’s single mindedness in finding the killers that brought him to a realization that probably cut him at least as deeply as the death of his precious Colette and her babies.  Jeffrey MacDonald did it.  Freddy Kasaab spent the next several years making sure he paid for it.

Let’s tune in tomorrow and find out what Freddy did.

RBMD peacing the fuck out


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