Hello my lovelies. You are going to want to hang on to your Pretoria puke buckets, I think much puking is going to be involved in this portion of our program. Apparently absolute incredulousness can also make one spontaneously vomit. You have been warned.
So, The CID decided they had enough to hold what is known as an article 32 hearing which is basically the army version of a grand jury. Now I kid you not even a little when I say that the army had royally fucked up the crime scene. if someone had turned loose a herd of free range cattle the result would have been about the same. That being said, the army is nothing if not scrupulously thorough about niggly little details that are apt to come back to bite one directly in the ass. For example, it was a rainy night, like torrentially rainy. So, the acid is groovy kill the pigs hippies were out wandering in the torrential downpour with a candle and all of them (don’t forget the extra 3 that were killing the family while Jeffrey MacIhateyousofuckinghardpieceofshit was fighting for his life in the living room did not track one little tiny bit of water or mud into the house. Nor did they track it in and clean it up cuz guess what? The army checked for water wipe marks. There weren’t any. The article 32 was a bust and he was declared neither guilty or innocent just that there was insufficient evidence to proceed to court martial.
Freddy in the mean time was still on the Jeffrey is innocent band wagon, and then Dick Cavett happened. Dick Cavett for those of you who didn’t ride dinosaurs to Sunday School was a late night talk show host.
Here is a linky to actual interview on Cavett
Earlier in the day Freddy had told Jeffrey that he had a magazine that was willing to follow him around for several months and blow the whole thing wide open and Jeffrey asked about how much of his expenses they were willing to pay. Freddy understandably was somewhat taken aback. He had also been hounding Jeffy for a copy of he article 32 hearing and Jeffy was saying stupid shit like he’d get court martialed. Which of course was bullshit, but of all the people on the entire planet Freddy Kassab was probably the last person on earth Jeffrey wanted to have a copy of that hearing. For very good reason.
Jeffrey MacIamthebiggestcocksuckerthateverlived went on Dick Cavett and he um, exaggerated if by exaggerate you go with outright lied. He said he had 23 potentially life threatening wounds, he was in intensive care, he had surgery blah blah blah. Freddy remembers seeing him in the hospital the night it happened sitting up eating dinner with not so much as Mecurochrome on him. Superficial scratches and a pneumothorax. PS I hate that word.
Then Freddy got the article 32 transcripts and that my friends is when Freddy Kassab, who had stood before the army and said if he had another daughter he would want he same son in law, discovered that he had made a very grievous error in judgement. HUGE. Freddy Kassab was a man of singular purpose. It had taken him far in life, no matter what he did, his total focus on whatever it was, was truly something to behold. He first went through the article 32 transcripts and came up with a list of 123 statements that he knew to be outright lies. Like this shit never, ever happened. There were more statements that were less than believable at best, like the part where he said he did the dishes. Both Freddy and Mildred had known Jeffrey since he was fourteen years old and both of them knew they had never seen him do a dish in all that time.
Freddy had a talk with Mildred, one she did not want to hear and promised her that if Jeffrey MacDickintheass had done it, he would not rest until he proved it and justice was done for Colette, Kimmie, and Kristen and baby male fetus.
His next stop was fort brag where he was allowed access to the apartment that had been sealed up for all this time due to the ongoing investigation and was greeted with the bloodstains and smells that never go away of his now long dead family. He never waivered. He went through every word Macdiefuckerdie had to say at the article 32 and came out now completely convinced that the son in law he had loved like his own child had slaughtered his daughter and her children.
In the living room in particular he saw the scope of Jeffrey’s lies. There were some valentines atop a credenza standing up. Freddy asked if they had been moved or stood back up or anything like that. When it was confirmed that this was a negative he stamped his feet twice hard and the cards fell down. Just from stamping his feet. He proved to the army guys that it would have been impossible to see anything in the light of the living room. Hair color, skin color, hell he couldn’t tell which CID officer was which in that light.
At the end of the walk through they asked Freddy if he was satisfied. He said he was. I’m satisfied that my son in law murdered my daughter and her children. They explained to him that it was going to be an uphill battle to which Freddy Kassab, who was an extraordinary man told them he planned to live a long life and he had the patience of Job. Turned out both were true.
Tomorrow tune in for blood evidence, crazy odds, and a pyjama top that just would not go away.
Reallybigmeandog peacing the fuck out.
PS keep the puke buckets handy.