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Apparently It Was Take Twitter To Work Day In Arizona.

January 23, 2015

ChaCha better hope forever 21 is still hiring when this is over-Arizona

Hai everybody.  Well it was definitely an interesting day in court today.  We won.  Want to know how I know? No, not because my in house psychic told me.  I know we won because Alfred E. Nurmi asked for a mistrial today.  Now I know that you probably think that is what lawyers are supposed to do right?  Well, in most cases I would tend to agree, but this is a special case and Alfred E. would not in any way request a mistrial unless he was fairly positive that his clients goose was well and truly cooked.  Remove the death penalty?  Yup.  Dismiss with prejudice?  Absolutely.  But he would no way ask the judge to grant him the right to do this alllll over again unless he was fully convinced it was all but over.   The defense rolled over and showed its belly today and I was very happy.  So, to the defense team from me, eat a dick mmmmmkay!!

So this happened during court today. ChaChaisafucktard The ever professional Cha Cha Delarosa tweeted this charming thing while in court supposedly working. A copy of course has been forwarded to everyone I could think of in the Arizona court system because that is just how I roll. Please feel free to do the same. I sent one to the court and to the DA’s office. Oh and to Troy Hayden just because the Stabbyites seem to hate him so very much. I’m hoping he can use it for something.  So, Stabbyites, you can also eat a dick.

This is what Stabby wore to court today.

stabbynotappropriate  Nice to see that ChaCha is also aware that the ship is going down and trying to coerce the mens vote along with a lovely tank top.  Kind of like putting lipstick on a pig isn’t it?  Just sayin’.  I’d tell Stabby to eat a dick, but that ship has way sailed.

Now, on to court.  Juan was in full pace mode even before court started. Flores was ready and tried distracting him with some goodboy treats while Jenny from the Cell Block finished getting the attack suit on Geffner. Juan was quick to attack. God help Geffner if the attack suit gives out before court does.

Juan asked if the statements about the alleged masturbation incident were made years after her arrest. Geffner said yes. Then the pitbull said this isn’t documented in her journal anywhere. Juan asked if it’s true that Stabby told Geffner’s associate that Travis was viewing the offending material on a computer. Geffner answered that the associate must have typed it wrong. He said he didn’t know why she would have typed internet. The pitbull lunged and said because Stabby told the associate that!! Jenny picked that moment to try out the new ejection seats that have been installed and went three feet strait up as she screeched objection, speculation. Overruled. That seemed to make Juan madder and he asked if Geffner was SPECULATING that the associate made a mistake. He was still bristing as he said Geffner gave Stabby the benefit of the doubt instead of considering she was lying about the bullshit she was spewing. He asked again why associate 1 said internet and then said you just assumed that your associate, the trained associate made a mistake? Geffner said yes. Again, how is this man a doctor? Anybody?

The pitbull continued to pace as he said you weren’t even at the jail when Stabby made this statement so you are making assumptions because you are a hired gun. The Defense objectomatic 3000 was promptly deployed and that last remark was stricken from the record. Next the pitbull brought up the fact that Geffner has made over $100 000 off of testifying. Guess what? SIDEBAR.

Back from the sidebar Juan launched again and the attack suit started to look a little frayed. He ripped apart a ton of cases that Geffner had “worked” on, and then brought out that Dr. Sexpert was a speaker at one of Geffner’s non profits. Then he said so was Jenny from the Cell Block. OMG Jenny fired herself halfway up the aisle while screeching objection sidebar. Apparently that one was sustained, but no matter. The mighty pitbull had made his point that these people were all in collusion. He waited patiently for his goodboy treat before moving on.

Stabby seemed to think everything was all good. She had a slight smile on her face and chattered incessantly to Jenny who ignored her and took another bong hit as she watched the ship begin to sink. Juan asked Geffner why there was no mention in his notes that Stabby is a sick stalker peeping tom fuck? Geffner said he was not provided with that information and it was not an interaction between Travis and Stabby. Wait, what? He was never provided with that information. Wow defense!! Good job!!

Oh goody another definition. Dr. DOCTOR!! Geffner said that they needed to define “dating”. They kept having sex and seeing each other. Juan Snarled. While they were dating Stabby lived in California true? Geffnew answered true. After they broke up did she move to another place in California. Geffner had a mistake in the Stabby Anal Einstein this is your life timeline. Juan was fairly foaming at the mouth as he brought up the co worker from Big Sur that said Stabby’s personality changed in an affidavit. Once again Geffner cannot see the trap being laid so masterfully by the pacing Juan. He said you can’t say it had anything to do with Travis can you? Geffner answered “I can’t say nothing, it had something to do with it.” Juan continued. So you are blaming this change in personality on Travis? It’s more complicated than that Geffner said somewhat shakily. So, you are basing this on Travis and Stabby’s interactions? It involved their relationship and was a key factor in this personality change. A key factor to is a large factor right? the pitbull roared. Geffner answered It’s important. Juan continued to lead Geffner down the path of destruction. Couldn’t this personality factor be due to the fact she just lost her house?! What about her financial problems. Her house was being repossessed? Geffners answer was only that he was not sure about the house. He was looking and sounding decidedly shaky. Juan was very aggressively asking next about the breakup with Matt and Bobby and how Stabby was definitely assertive while hunting down the chick Matt was screwing around with. Isn’t that aggressive he snarled. Geffner’s psychological opinion was no, because that is totally an honest answer. yuwholwnhgtolewa…sorry my head hit the keyboard. Juan is driving home the point that Stabby was very aggressive as he brought back up the peeping tom incident. Travis was entitled to sit on his couch and kiss whoever he wants correct? he was broke up with Stabby? Geffner said the definition of broke up was an issue. Now we are rapidfire back to the timeline and Geffner admits that his timeline may not be 100% accurate.

Next the pitbull pulled out Stabby’s honest and for true journals and began to chew them up like a pair of Louboutins. He brought up the Havasupi trip. Stabby was droning on about it in her journals. She wrote that the day had bad and good parts and that Travis apologized to her saying it was 99% his fault. Geffner can’t remember about the fight and we were mercifully at lunch.

Back from lunch the mighty pitbull got one last ear scratch from Flores and trotted back out to the floor. He was all over Geffner like he was a porterhouse steak. Juan snarled that there was an incomplete picture in the journal. Geffner tried to fight back saying regarding the fight, yes. He next brought up that Stabbykins had written about when Dan called telling her Travis was dead and that everything she had written was basically bullshit. Geffner said she may have been disassociating aaaaand I threw up in my mouth a little. The bullshit that this man is spewing, I wonder how he ever gets the taste out of his mouth. Juan continues the carnage he started before lunch and rips Stabby’s diary to shreds. Every lie that she wrote down to try and cover her ass is being exposed in beautiful hi definition for the Jury to see. I bet if you threw holy water on that journal it would ignite.

Juan knew he had Geffner right where he wanted him and decided that this would be a good Tercio de Muerte. This is a great picture of Alfred E. and Jenny From the Cell Block as they watched their witness go down in flames. nurmiwillmuttPlease note the looks on their faces!  Isn’t it beautiful.

Nurmi picked this moment to request the mistrial because he knew what was coming and he knew if it got in it was going to be game, set, match. Not a Judge Stephens told him to eat a dick and testimony continued. Poor little Stabbykins bullshit PTSD came in. AND THEN THE BULLSHIT LIES SHE TOLD ABOUT THE NINJAS THAT GOT HER THE PTSD DIAGNOSIS CAME IN!!
AND THEN THE LETTER SHE WROTE TO TRAVIS FAMILY ABOUT THE NINJAS CAME IN!! And I peed a little. The story she wrote to the family was pretty close to what the prosecution alleges happened except for the Ninjas, so my guess is this is a fairly accurate representation of what happened except where ever she writes ninja replace that with Stabby.

From Jens Trial Diaries. Jodi says in letter she woke up on bathroom floor and heard Travis screaming in the shower. She goes onto to talk about the intruders attacking her and Travis Jodi says a girl came at her with a knife and she grabbed her wrist. She says she kicked her repeatedly in the knees Jodi says she was at an unfair advantage being barefoot Jodi says she had bleeding feet she didn’t notice until later Jodi says Travis was lying down in the hallway and the female was yelling at him Jodi says sorry about her handwriting she’s shaking Jodi get’s away and runs out the door.

Juan roared as he said, and every answer on the PTSD test are based off of this lie. And at that moment Not a Judge Stephens ended court till 9:15 Monday morning so the Jurors get the added bonus of thinking about that all weekend long.

Well done mighty pitbull!!

Oh and this is pretty much what Geffner looked like at the end of that cross.

afterJuan

RBMD peacing the fuck out!!

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The Stabby Arias Never Ending Penalty Phase Retrial – The Lets Keep The Witness Under Direct Forever So Juan Can’t Cross Examine Edition

November 17, 2014

There is not enough Tylenol in the entire world for this shit – Arizona

Hai Kids. Welcome to another edition of the never ending Stabby Einstein penalty phase retrial. The penalty phase that the Convict would like to turn into the I’m getting out of jail by Saturday do-over.

Just before we get to todays foray into the almost insane some of you may have noticed the disclaimer that I have posted on the bottom right hand side of my blog. It is more about the people and entities that are NOT allowed to post my blog than who is. If I have failed to mention you by name or by site than consider yourself allowed to use my blog in whole or in part as long as it is credited to the Really Big Mean Dog Article you have used. This is just more stuff that my lawyer friend said would be pertinent for me to do, makes litigation much easier. So, if I forgot to name you by name and you have been linking my blog or using parts of it or whatever and you have not been expressly forbidden from doing that, please just continue to do what you have been doing all along. People were not listed in order of importance, just who popped into my head at that particular moment and I had to stop naming specific people that were allowed permission because I ran out of room.

Court today started an avalanche of questions in my head, non of which have been answered to any satisfaction even by some of the greatest legal minds that I know. They are doing the exact same head scratch that I am. Questions like how is a paid expert allowed to give an opinion on a seven year old email with no context and without speaking with either of the people the email was between seeing as one of them is dead and the other was not approached. How is that not all just hearsay? How is there any foundation for the email? How is someone does someone who is purported to be an expert in sexual kink not know what a fuck buddy is, or a friend with benefits? Does that not toss the whole sex expert thing directly out the window? How do you get any sense of what is truth and what is a lie from Stabbykins (other than if her mouth is moving she is likely full of shit) when you have spent less than 8 hours with her split between two sessions? How does she spend a day and a half on the stand talking about Chris and sky hughes perceptions of the relationship between Travis and the murdering bitch without ever having an interview with Chris and Sky hughes? A day and a fucking half and never talked to either one of them? Really? I have obviously made some egregious career choices in my life and would now like to become a sexual kink expert. This sunshine filled lollypop of triple dipped psycho is going for $300 per hour. That the Aunty Sue we need more money for appeals and experts and stuff definitely isn’t paying for. You are Arizona. I would have done it for half just so you know. Of course it would have been over Skype, but still. I could have saved you a fortune and done a way better job.

This is Dr. Sexpert. dr sxpert Thank you Jeff Gold. She will now for the duration of the retrial be referred to as Dr. Sexpert.  Also, just as an aside, it’s pretty bad when the kink expert is looking at the defense attorney like she needs an adult.  Just sayin’.

Anyway, we started the day going over emails from Lisa Andrews. Lisa was crazy in love with Travis AKA T-Dogg AKA Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde at one point and wanted to marry him. She apparently had a hard time staying away from him once they broke up which proves…what? Travis was kind and funny and attractive and dated people. THE BASTARD!!

Dr. Sexpert started to get into the idea that Travis had a thing for young girls. Juan was up barking lack of foundation (thank god I was starting to think he was sick or had lost his voice or something) and was sustained. Alfred E in his usual “I’m getting paid by the word fashion” began again. Dr. Sexpert got in that Stabby with a bald cooch and braids raised a red flag for her to which I said “why, did Travis hold her down, shave the bitch and braid her hair..OR did she show up that way?” Myself and Jeff Gold seemed to be on the same page because he was as confused as I was as to how this was relevant to anything. Dr. Sexpert also took Ms Jodi’s *BARF,BARF, and BARF* word for it that Travis was pulling it to pics of little boys, never mind that in all these years absolutely ZERO evidence of this has ever been produced and said that was another huge red flag. Because I am nothing if not thorough even if the subject matter is ridiculous and happens to disgust me I did a bunch of research on pedophilia and am now probably on some fucking watch list somewhere. By definition pedophiles have a sexual attraction to children predominantly 11 yrs of age or younger and do not generally cross gender lines. That means that they either like little boys or little girls. Of course as with all things there are those that don’t care, but as a rule, they like boys or they like girls.

Now before we move on to the rest of the paid $300 an hour by the not so great State of Arizona’s witnesses testimony, I have a question for you all. You don’t have to answer out loud if you don’t want to, but answer it in your head and be honest. How many of you were doing sexual things when you were 12, 13, 14 years old. Not forced things, those don’t count, but sexually curious things, be it masturbating, giving someone a handjob, or anything of that nature. With yourself or with someone, doesn’t matter. My point is that at those ages, kids become sexually curious and aware of themselves sexually. Travis was 12 and 13 and 14 at some point. So what are the odds that he might have been playing I will play with yours if you will play with mine with someone around the same age as him and she had an orgasm and that is how he knew what that sounded like? That is a perfectly reasonable and also perfectly normal part of growing up to me. That does not make him a pedophile. I know it’s a gross conversation but somebody had to say it. It is a perfectly reasonable explanation for why that statement ever came out of his mouth. If that was his first experience with a female orgasm it would have been a fond memory and a memory that would have aroused him because he is a man and the wind blowing in the right direction will arouse most of them.

Now, back to Dr. Sexpert. She is officially LaToilette 2.O and has downed the whole gallon of Stabby Kool-Aid. Why oh why would poor Stabby go back to a man she had just allegedly discovered masturbating to pictures he shouldn’t have been, never mind that Napoleon never barked when she came in, never mind that the Christmas decorations she was supposedly there to help him put in the attic were never found, never mind that he decided to masturbate to illegal material in the middle of the day when he knew she was coming and didn’t lock the door, she caught him and it sickened her to the point that she vomited and got a headache. Then she went back to him. According to Dr. Sexpert this would be because she was so blinded by love for him that she could not help herself. (somebody remind me to send Mi’Lady a thank you note for the Pretoria puke bucket) Then she emphatically stated that she was not calling Travis a pedophile, there were just some red flags. She next said that Travis and Stabby were not engaged in any type of unlawful sexual activities which kind of cancels out the red flags she spoke of earlier yeah?

Then she said the most hilariously funny thing I have ever heard in my life. It was put a half can of pop though my nose funny. She said that Travis was the sexually seasoned one and poor wittle Stabbykins was completely unseasoned. This is a woman that could turn at least two aisles in a candy store into sex toys but she was sexually unseasoned. What exactly is Dr. Sexperts standard if this succubus is considered sexually unseasoned by her?

Alfred E. Nurmi was STILL on direct when court was called for the evening and it was announced that due to some magical emergency court would be dark till Thursday. Yup, December 18th is totally going to happen.

Juan apparently has filed a motion for sanctions against Nurms because the hard drive that was provided to the State was one that belonged to some dude name Tony and had nothing to do with the case. He said that Nurmi is obviously trying to stall and he wanted the mirror image of the correct hard drive by noon today, or he wanted Nurmi in front of an ethics committee or facing some jail time. Totally won’t happen, but it goes to show how pissed off Juan is getting.

In totally unrelated news, Charles Manson applied for a marriage license in Kings County today. He is going to marry some chick named Star. Hey, Stabby thinks she’s a star, Manson is marrying a star. Maybe Manson and Stabby are tying the knot. Ewwww, I just gave myself the willies. Christ on a cracker, can you imagine.

So there you have it, a big huge bunch of nothing, much like the rest of the big bunches of nothing that seem to be this entire penalty phase retrial that the defense is trying to turn into a whole new trial. I hate Stabby. I hate this trial. I am starting to hate Arizona. I still love pop tarts.

RBMD peacing the fuck out. Have a great night everybody.

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Stabby Updates And Some Thoughts on What Has Transpired In Canada Over The Last Two Days.

October 24, 2014

I wear combats, not fatigues and I work for a “lef-tenant”, not a “loo-tenant.”

I drive an Iltis, not a Jeep or a Humvee and the weapon I carry for my protection is a C7, not an M16.

I observe from, or take cover in, a trench and not a foxhole.

I don’t just speak English or French, nor am I bilingual. I can speak many languages.

Although I am trained to fight in a war, I don’t cause them.

When I am not deployed on a mission of peace, I travel all over my country; fighting forest fires, battling floods, rescuing lost souls or repairing damages caused by an ice storm.

I try not to take sides and believe in treating all humanity equally.

I don’t just go on patrols; I also clear landmines to make the area safe for everyone.

In my off-duty hours while deployed, I occupy myself by rebuilding schools or playgrounds and, I teach children in a war-torn country about peace and harmony.

I am my country’s best ambassador and I am respected the world over for what I do best.

I carry my country’s flag shamelessly and hold my head up high wherever I go.

I am….A Proud Canadian Soldier.
Author Unknown.

Hai everyone. It is your favorite blogger extraordinaire, Kelly “Really Big Mean Dog” or as I seem to be known is certain circles on twitter, “that fucking bitch that will not shut the fuck up.” I’m rather partial to the second one but it’s too long.

I have decided that for the duration of the Stabby PENALTY PHASE RE-TRIAL we are going to implement a palette cleanser of sorts: Sick Fuck Saturday. This will be where we will pick a trial from the past and I will tear it up much like my dog likes to tear up shoes….and chairs….and other assorted stuff. It should be fun and serve as a reminder that the criminal world does not revolve solely around Stabby Einstein. I was going to do it tonight, but I do have a couple of Stabby updates that are relevant and I want to talk about Cpl. Cirillo for a bit, as well as how Canada fits into wars and stuff. I think That Sick Fuck Saturday should be pretty fun and also interactive as I am encouraging you all to not only choose some old cases to talk about, but also if you feel so inclined, to send me a write up on a trial of your choice and if it’s good, I will post it and you will be the guest blogger of the Weekend. There will not always be a guest blogger, and if you send something and it does not get picked you have to promise to not be hurt. I also do not expect that your writings have to follow my particular style of using the word fuck in all of its forms. That is just the way I talk so don’t think that I expect you to follow suite, although you certainly can if you want to. My only expectation is that it be factual, and well written. I hope some of you at least will take advantage of this because I think it would be fun.

Our Nations Capital and Canada in general is still reeling from events that unfolded at the Canadian War Memorial and Parliament Wednesday. The terror in Ottawa started at just before 10 am, when witnesses stated that a man dressed entirely in black drove up to the National War Memorial in a purple Toyota that was devoid of license plates. He left the engine running and charged Cpl. Cirillo who was standing guard. The shooter hit Cirillo twice at point-blank range with a shotgun. The honor guard fell to the ground and the gunman appeared to raise his arms triumphantly.

The shooter then invaded the Centre Block, which is the main building of the Parliamentary complex. He shot off several more rounds, all of it captured by camera’s that were there because parliament was in session. The building was put into lockdown with our Prime Minister trapped inside. The PM attempted to exit but was convinced he was safer in the legislative chamber and he was hidden inside of a closet in case the chamber was breached. Legislators acted quickly, stacking tables and chairs in front of doors, and quickly turning flag staffs into spears. They were prepared to attempt to impale anyone who breached the chamber in an attempt to protect the Prime Minister. Kyle Seeback, a member of parliament managed to tweet that they were safe and locked in an office seconds before the police chasing the gunman unleashed a shit ton of bullets. It was a barrage of epic proportion. Terrified civilians scurried down scaffolding which was erected due to ongoing renovations.

John McKay, a member of Parliament actually thought that it was dynamite going off from the construction. It never crossed his mind that it was gunshots inside what should be one of the most secure facilities in Canada.

The lunatics rampage came to a sudden end when he crossed paths with our Sergeant-at-arms for the house of Commons, Kevin Vickers. Ironically, Vickers post is largely symbolic. So much so that he presides over his post wearing green robes, white gloves and a tall imperial hat while carrying a scepter. Want to know what else Kevin Vickers carries? A gun. One he is very, very adept at using. Vickers, 58, just whipped out the gun and blasted the attacker according to the justice minister and other officials who were present. Two other people were injured with nonlife-threatening wounds. Police with assault rifles and flak jackets continued to search the area for hours after Vickers took control of the situation because he really is just boss that way.

Cpl. Nathan Cirillo was just 24 years old and a member of the ceremonial honor guard for the tomb of the unknown soldier. He often interacted with the public, answering questions from tourists about the tomb, and parliament and any general questions that anyone had. He was described by some of the tourists he had spoken with as well spoken, polite, very proud of his post, happy to explain the origins of the tomb, and extremely proud to be Canadian. Cpl. Cirillo had a five year old son who he was raising as a single dad, and two dogs who were photographed looking what can only be described as bereft, like they were aware that their owner had fallen. The photograph of those dogs is haunting. It never ceases to strike me how in tune to their owners, dogs of soldiers seem to be. He was born and raised in Hamilton and it was there that he was taken today. I watched with mixed emotions as the motorcade made it’s way from Ottawa to Hamilton. Mixed because I am saddened by this pointless death, enraged that a soldier on his home soil was killed with no declaration of war, and proud of the way we as a country helped see our fallen Soldier home. Entire highways saw vehicles pulled to the side with occupants out of their cars saluting as the motorcade made its way past them. People came from all over Ontario and even from other provinces to help see the Soldier home. It was one of those moments that made me remember why I am so proud to call myself Canadian.

The shooter, Michael Zehaf-Bibeau was of course a recent convert to Islam. There is speculation that the death of Cpl. Cirillo and the attack on Parliament were in retaliation for Canada sending some of our bombers to help with the efforts to eradicate ISIS. This hasn’t been confirmed, but it is as good a theory as any.

I know that most of you, Canadian and American as well as my readers from across the globe have someone who has served your respective countries at one time or another. My father was in the Royal Navy during WWII. All three of my Uncles on my mothers side were privates during WWII. My Grand Da was a fighter pilot during WW1. The thing about that is, when you are at war, actively fighting in a war, you expect that there will be casualties. Death is a given. To shoot a soldier at a ceremonial post, one which anyone who does any research would know means that his weapon does not have any live rounds is the act of a coward. Yet more acts of cowardice from a cowardly extremist group.

Canada’s roll during wars has often been as peacekeepers, as aid givers, as the ones who try and maintain some neutrality. Don’t for a second think that makes Canada weak. When Canada is actively engaged in war, like WWI an WWII we fight like warriors. We have the exact same mentality as our neighbors and friends, the United States. We have their back and they have our back. It makes us collectively the most war savvy continent on the planet. We will back the United States plays if we are asked to do so, and we hope that if it were ever to come to it that the feeling is mutual.

Cpl. Nathan Cirillo, we are sorry you were taken so young from us for what amounts to no reason. There is no reasoning with mad men. I salute the soldier, the father, the son, and the Canadian that died while on duty at our War Memorial Wednesday October 22, 2014.

Now on to the Anal wart on the ass of the world, Stabby.

We all know that sometimes Judge Sherry Stephens lost control of this trial a long time ago. Like on about day one of the original trial. It seems that every time I think that she can’t possibly do anything more stupid than the thing she did before she takes it as a challenge and goes ahead and does something more stupid. It is this writers humble opinion that she has no business being a judge, and apparently I am not the only one that thinks that way. Several retired Judges, ex prosecutors and ex defense attorneys have come out publicly to chastise the Judge. I know there is the argument that she is trying to limit reversible error, but I am telling you all kids, that ship sailed a long time ago. The list of errors that sometimes Judge Stephens has made is way to long for me to write the whole thing out, but I will cover the big ones.

Since it is entirely in her prevue, Judge Stephens should have prohibited Jodi Arias from doing any interviews while the trial was ongoing and especially during deliberations. You can instruct a jury to avoid media and such till you are blue in the face, odds of that actually happening are very slim, no matter what anyone thinks. Humans are curious things, it is just our nature. Please don’t go there with the first amendment. I know you want too, but when the right to speak is likely to undermine the fairness of a difficult criminal trial it goes out the window. That and the judge would have been totally legally within her rights to do so. I do not to this second understand why she chose not to do that.

Sometimes Judge Stephens like I said lost control of the courtroom almost immediately. Her permissiveness in allowing the defense to drag out the case with ridiculous and incessant objections, the sidebars that inevitably went with them whenever the defense felt like it, which was all the time which was all just a ruse to drag out the case was transparent to everyone but Judge Stephens. Losing control of the courtroom undermines the very process that you have taken an oath to uphold and protect.

Judge Stephens forgot to read a portion of the jury instructions to the jury during the penalty phase of the trial. I swear to god I am not making this shit up. A sitting judge in one of the biggest trials in the history of ever completely left out part of the jury instructions. Jury instructions are kind of important. Just sayin’, although in this case with the train wreck the trial had already become, it probably didn’t make much of a difference.

The blackout of televised re-trial of the penalty phase. If anything screams, “dude I fucked up and now I must try and unring the bell” this would be the thing. Unfortunately, all she has done is given Stabbykins another thing to appeal on. I wasn’t given a fair trial because it was televised. Even the judge knows she made an error because she decided not to televise the re-trial. That is going to be on the list along with ineffective council because Nurmi was allowed to state on the record that he does not like his client. While it was funny, it was also either very calculated, or just Nurmi’s I have had enough of this shit moment. Either way Stephens should have immediately told the jury to disregard the comment.

Now the coup de gras: Sometimes Judge Stephens has granted motions in limine regarding smuggling of contraband, lack of remorse, requests to change council and threats against trial participants. What this means is that Juan Martinez may not present any facts regarding Stabby having things like that pinwheel picture that she sold for more money for the “Stabby is going for ALL the murder money” fund or any other things that ChaCha may or may not have smuggled into or out of the prison, he can’t present any evidence that Stabby does not have a shit to give that she killed Travis three times over and that her sudden altruism is simply to try and save her ass. He cannot talk about the fact that she threatened to have Juan Martinez “Stabbied” if she got the DP, and he cannot bring up the fact that she has tried to get rid of Nurmi, Nurmi has tried to get rid of her, or that she has and then has not represented herself on two separate occasions. So she has basically tied Juan’s hands behind his back, put a blindfold on him and told him to try and pin the tail on the Donkey. It is a completely ridiculous ruling. I almost get the not bringing up that she threatened to kill Martinez because that is basically she said, she said although testimony has been found to be credible, but not allowing him to bring up the smuggling which basically tells the jury she could give a flying fuck about jail or its rules and that she can very easily bend people to her will and not to allow him to bring up her lack of remorse make me want to throttle the sometimes Judge.

I asked once and I will ask again. In Arizona, you all have to go to law school and pass the bar and actually practice law before you all can become a seated Judge right?

So, that’s it for tonight my lovelies. Don’t forget Sick Fuck Saturday is tomorrow. I am looking forward to it.

Have a great night everyone, Really Big Mean Dog peacing the fuck out.

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The Saga of The Never Ending Trial Continues -The Arizona One, Not The South African One

October 16, 2014

Christ on a Cracker it is never going to end – Arizona

Hai Kids. It has been a fairly eventful last couple of days. As some of you know, I took a little wipe out the other night and broke my big toe and busted my head pretty good. Since over the years I have become accustomed to all manner of injury I did not think it was that big of a deal. I knew immediately that my big toe was broken which is a non starter. As long as the bone isn’t sticking out they can’t do anything except offer you their condolences and send you packing. Over the course of the time with my ex-abuser I have had several head injuries, both bleeding and non bleeding so a little blood didn’t bother me much either. When it didn’t eventually stop I simply glued it closed and carried on with my day. I looked in the mirror this morning (something I rarely do because I am somewhat scarred up and I don’t like the reflection I see) and discovered two black eyes which told me that I had hit my head much harder than I thought. I obviously bounced my brain if I did that kind of damage. I called tele-health (it’s a thing in Canada where you can talk to a nurse practitioner and they tell you whether you need to go to emergency or not) and of course the nice nurse told me to go right now, don’t drive, call and ambulance and go. I asked the man at the end of the road to take me instead which he did. Ross is the only other person on our road and we help each other out like that. He is close to 90, but an old farmer and he could pass for early 70’s easily both because he still looks young and he still has all of his faculties about him. He was concerned and drove me. He even waited to drive me home. Thank you Ross. They did a CT scan I think that’s what it is called and I have a subdural hematoma (a bruised brain) concussion etc. No skull fracture, but the doctor said that was more due to me having a head like a rock than anything else. He was funny and put me mostly at ease, no small feat. He told me I was foolish not to come when I did it which I knew, told me I had done a nice job of gluing my scalp back together, joked about counting all the suture needles before I left and told me my head was going to hurt for the next little while. He then gave me instructions on what to do for the next few weeks. No exertion, no driving, basically rest till my noodle feels better. I look pretty bad, but I’m okay. Ross said he would come and check on me everyday which was so sweet, but that is how it is when you live with almost nobody around.

Do you know that it is probably easier to get hold of weaponized anthrax then it is to get pain pills in Ontario. I have them because I have permanent damage from the asshole who did all those wonderful things to me, but if I hadn’t had them already, I wouldn’t be getting any. The doctor said that almost nobody will prescribe any kind of opiate now because they are a drug dealers wet dream apparently. And they go for pretty big money from what he told me. That is a whole other blog, but one I think I am going to write at some point because quite frankly I am intrigued.

So, on to todays tale of Stabby and the Funky Bunch.

Todays fuckery began with everybody waiting on Stabby. She rolled into court in stripes and shackles which of course sent everyone into a tailspin about the jury. No way they would swear a jury with her dressed like that. This of course led to speculation that if a jury wasn’t being seated than that must mean Sometimes Judge Sherry had ruled in favor of Alfred E. Nurmi’s motion to take the DP off the table. Isn’t the internet fun? Jesus wept I’m telling ya. The jury will not be sworn until Tuesday October 21 which sent Nurmi into another spin about not having enough time with the hard drive, because six years has definitely not been enough time to look at all the evidence that could ever possibly be presented. Sometimes I can only shake my head. He wanted a delay. Denied.

Bickering of course broke out between Alfred E. Nurmi and our Pit-bull maybe because the vet with the tranquilizer gun was absent, perhaps because Nurms just wanted to press his luck, but in either event, he categorized Juan as “Snarky” about a dozen times. I would liken it less to snarkiness and more to being sick of dealing with idiots, but in either event Juan got pissed off at being called snarky and motioned that the defense be made to stop calling him snarky. Motion was granted and I put pop through my nose.

Then of course because the laws and courtroom proceedings in the States are so transparent, the whole rest of the mess was requested to be heard behind closed doors and everyone was kicked out for the remainder of the day. They were arguing the removal of the DP motion, or at least beginning to. It was held over to Monday the 20th, so barring something insane happening like sometimes Judge Stephens completely losing her mind and granting it, we should have a sworn Jury by Tuesday.

Expect 70 or 80 more motions sometime between now and Monday because I am sure there are motions that Nurmi has not thought of yet that he can still file to try and stall the inevitable a little bit longer.

A bit of trial trivia. The most litigious person in the United States is Jonathan Lee Riches who has filed 2600 separate lawsuits and named pretty much everyone but god (and he seems to be leaving the door open for that) in them. Alfred E. Nurmi may or may not be in close contention for most motions filed in a single criminal case. Citation is needed.

That’s it. I’m tired and my head hurts. Sorry it’s not more of an update, but as with all things Stabby, it is what it is.

Have a great night everyone.

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The Really Big Mean Dog School of Law: Definitions of Terms Being Thrown About the Internet. Just For Everyone’s Edification.

October 11, 2014

Some People are like Christmas Everyday – Arizona

Good evening class, welcome back.  Please take your seats as we have a lot to cover this evening.  As you can see, I have redecorated the classroom.  I hope you all like it.  Chaz continues to work on the class seal.  It will be mounted as soon as he is done.  Feel free to wander around after class and get used to the new digs.

Now, it has come to my attention as your Law Professor and Dean of Fuckery that certain legal terms are being tossed willy nilly around the internet.  Your Professor is not amused.  I am not amused when people who have no clue throw hallowed legal terms around just to see if they can scare someone.  We will also be covering terms which will no doubt be brought up during the PENALTY PHASE RETRIAL OF THE CONVICTED MURDERESS

Before we begin, everyone stand for the singing of the class anthem.  Do not forget to face Florida and give the salute that I taught you.  Thank you.

Lets start with an easy one and just to make it fun, lets see how many apply to Stabby and or other people we know and hate:

Slander: oral defamation, in which someone tells one or more persons an untruth about another which untruth will harm the reputation of the person defamed. Slander is a civil wrong (tort) and can be the basis for a lawsuit. Damages (payoff for worth) for slander may be limited to actual (special) damages unless there is malicious intent, since such damages are usually difficult to specify and harder to prove. Some statements such as an untrue accusation of having committed a crime, having a loathsome disease, or being unable to perform one’s occupation are treated as slander per se since the harm and malice are obvious, and therefore usually result in general and even punitive damage recovery by the person harmed. Words spoken over the air on television or radio are treated as libel (written defamation) and not slander on the theory that broadcasting reaches a large audience as much if not more than printed publications. (See: defamation, fair comment) Check and Check.

Libel: to publish in print (including pictures), writing or broadcast through radio, television or film, an untruth about another which will do harm to that person or his/her reputation, by tending to bring the target into ridicule, hatred, scorn or contempt of others. Libel is the written or broadcast form of defamation, distinguished from slander which is oral defamation. It is a tort (civil wrong) making the person or entity (like a newspaper, magazine or political organization) Now, here is the important part so pay attention:  open to a lawsuit for damages by the person who can prove the statement about him/her was a lie. Publication need only be to one person, but it must be a statement which claims to be fact, and is not clearly identified as an opinion. Most states provide for a party defamed by a periodical to demand a published retraction. If the correction is made, then there is no right to file a lawsuit. Public records are exempt from claims of libel. Minor errors in reporting are not libel. Check and Check.

Stalking: Criminal activity consisting of the repeated following and harassing of another person. Stalking is a distinctive form of criminal activity composed of a series of actions that taken individually might constitute legal behavior. For example, sending flowers, writing love notes, and waiting for someone outside her place of work are actions that, on their own, are not criminal. When these actions are coupled with an intent to instill fear or injury, however, they may constitute a pattern of behavior that is illegal. Though anti-stalking laws are gender neutral, most stalkers are men and most victims are women unless your name is Stabby or some other female type person. Oh look, check and check again.

Cyberstalking: the use of the Internet or other electronic means to stalk or harass an individual, a group of individuals, or an organization. It may include the making of false accusations or statements of fact (as in defamation), monitoring, making threats, identity theft, damage to data or equipment, the solicitation of minors for sex, or gathering information that may be used to harass. The definition of “harassment” must meet the criterion that a reasonable person, in possession of the same information, would regard it as sufficient to cause another reasonable person distress.[1] Cyberstalking is different from spatial or offline stalking in that it occurs through the use of electronic communications technology such as the internet. However, it sometimes leads to it, or is accompanied by it.[2] Both are criminal offenses.[3] Cyberstalking shares important characteristics with offline stalking; many stalkers – online or off – are motivated by a desire to control their victims.[4] So like hacking a persons emails or sending them eleventybillion emails or stuff like that. Hey we are going for a record. Check and check.

Harrassment: covers a wide range of behaviors of an offensive nature. It is commonly understood as behavior intended to disturb or upset, and it is characteristically repetitive. In the legal sense, it is intentional behavior which is found threatening or disturbing. Once again we have two winners.

allege: a way to avoid a libel claim.

Objection: a motion during a trial to disallow a witness’s testimony or other evidence. You know like Objection, testimony has no basis in reality.

Hater: Anyone who does not believe Stabby’s version of events, whichever ones she puts forth.

Orifice: An opening, especially to a cavity or passage of the body; Learn this one, it’s going to come up A LOT during the re-trial.

KY: a brand of personal lubricant also see baby oil, Crisco, whatever the fuck is handy at that moment.

Mouth Hug: Apparently it is how Stabby offers to blow someone.

Jizz: Jizz is just Jizz.

There will be a short quiz next class on these terms. I expect all of you to be able to use each one in a sentence.

Class dismissed.

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The Really Big Mean Dog School Of Law – Conspiracy Theories, Jury Nullification and Mitigation Factors That Don’t Exist

October 7, 2014

I have had more fun watching paint dry- Arizona

 

Hello Students and welcome to another class concerning Jury’s and what a pain in the ass they are. Todays class is going to focus on some very serious points of law so please pay attention….Deb, yes you Deb, we have had the discussion about knives in the classroom before have we not? No I will not define “discussion”, put the knife away and take your seat.

First class, in order to understand the entire concept I am going to start with Jury Nullification:

Jury Nullification is a jury’s knowing and deliberate rejection of the evidence or refusal to apply the law either because the jury wants to send a message about some social issue that is larger than the case itself, or because the result dictated by law is contrary to the jury’s sense of justice, morality, or fairness. It could also be because the jury contains at least one nut-bag that has drunk the convicts kool-aid and thinks if they save her they will somehow become her super sekrit lover and they will be allowed to marry the convict and never have sex again.

Jury Nullification in the case we have been studying State of Arizona and King Juan 1 V Stabby Anal Arias may become a problem because according to what I have been able to see on the internet, conspiracy theories about that Stabby has been framed. Framed I tell you.

A conspiracy theory is an explanatory proposition that accuses two or more persons, a group, or an organization of having caused or covered up, through secret planning and deliberate action, an illegal or harmful event or situation. For example class, the theory of the day as explained by detective pig vomit is that Dr Kevin Horn-Medical Examiner and thanks to Jenny from the Cell Block de-facto gunshot wound expert, Elizabeth Northcutt-firearms expert, Ryan Burns – Almost the next Stabby Victim, Nathan Mendez-Siskiyou Police Detective, Mom and Dad Stabby, Esteban Flores- Lead Detective and Courtroom pitbull rangler, Heather Connor-Fingerprint Expert, Mimi Hall- Travis’ Friend, Judge Sherry Stephens- A judge…I guess, Juan Martinez-Prosecutor/pit-bull and yelly, grilly person, Every Mormon on earth, Walmart Records Keeping department, Chris and Sky Hughes, Dr.Janeen DeMarte-Psychologist, Chelsea Buff-Tesoro Employee, Lonnie Dworkin – Computer Expert, Dave Hall-Friend of Travis and General Tit, Zach Billings and Enrique Cortez- Travis’ roommates, And Darryl Brewer-ex fuckbuddy of Stabby have all gotten together to frame poor, poor Stabby.

According to Detective PV, by using her Scooby doo decoder ring, a Ouija board, some KY and a strawberry Frappuccino she has come to the conclusion that Chris and Sky Hughes actually killed Travis and all the rest of these people are helping cover it up because it is all a huge Mormon conspiracy. Don’t we all feel stupid? Basically the theory is that all the Mormon women were jealous of Stabby and all the Mormon men wanted to stuff all of Stabby’s wonder holes so they killed Travis and framed her. Case closed I guess we can move on to the next case law we are going to study.

How does this all work into Jury Nullification? Well, if someone on that Jury truly believe all the stuff that Detective PV and her decoder ring have uncovered the might decide to not vote for the DP just to make a point, like Detective Pig Vomit is smarter than every human being that worked on this case for…what’s it been now, a hundred years or so. This is a real concern and it was nice to see Juan was paying particular attention to some of the more questionable potentials. As an aside, the lawyers on this case have been given 10 peremptory challenges each instead of the normal three, so the sometimes Judge Stephens is obviously concerned about the same thing.

Mitigating factors that don’t exist is exactly what it sounds like. Since this is the penalty phase retrial, we get to hear once again about how Stabby can grow hair, and read, and habla Espanol and the one that makes my blood boil till I am cooked from the inside out, how she is a survivor of DV who is donating all the NET proceeds of her murder money to DV services. I am hoping that Juan brings up that even if she is given LWOP it will literally be years before she is able to join the general population, that there are already several book clubs in place and that there is a huge recycling program also already in place. As lawyers you will once again have to become creative because at this point you are running out of options. I suggest offering up organs, or maybe offering to go into some testing that would otherwise be done on animals. Trying to get one of the people that your client so easily tossed to the wolves during the main trial to testify on their behalf might be a bit tricky, but give it a shot anyway. By now you should be used to being told to go fuck yourself. If you don’t grow a thick skin quickly you will never be a good attorney. Maybe take a couple of thousand from the “appeals fund” and bribe somebody. That is probably the only option you have left at this point.

That is it for tonight’s class. I have to see a guy about royalties for the FUCK YOU song because I would like it to be the new class anthem.
Have a great night, class dismissed.

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Could That Sound I Hear be a………Backfire?

September 22, 2014

Wishing I could clone Sheriff Joe – Arizona

Hai Kids. Well, by now you have already heard the stunning (spoiler: No one is stunned)news that Stabby’s esteemed Judge has decided that now is the time to black out the courtroom. Um, you all have to become Lawyers and practice law and shit before you become Judges in Arizona right? I shook my head so damn hard when I read the wording of that decision I think a gave myself a concussion. Just, WOW. Huge error in my opinion. For whatever it’s worth. Before we get into the meat of Sheriff Joe’s latest, I wanted to let you all know that I have put a donation button up on the bottom of my blog. Why? Because writing really is my job. It is strictly voluntary. VOLUNTARY. You don’t haveta if you don’t wanna.

Why can you spell Sheriff with two R’s or one R and spellcheck does not have a fuck to give? I can’t even use Canadian spelling or my computer has an aneurism. What is that about?

Sheriff Joe is suddenly hitting all the high notes for me peeps. His beautifully written fuck off and die letter to that film maker was so beautiful I wanted to weep. Sherriff Joe upped the ante today when he rolled off a letter regarding Stabby and the press tour she still seems intent on having.

Since Sheriff Joe stepped out of the closet, he has been intent on burning that bitch down. No longer a quiet Stabby hater, Sherriff Joe now seems intent on letting us see via written word every ounce of contempt he holds for Stabby. I wonder if he actually almost bit his tongue off trying to bite back his feelings of utter contempt for Stabbykins, and he said fuck it, I’m not injuring myself for some murdering slut? Or something.

Anyway, today Sheriff Joe released another doozy of a letter letting the press, the citizens of Arizona, me, and earth in general know just how hard he thinks Stabby should suck it.

Sherriff Joe said, to paraphrase:………From the Sheriff Joe Homey Don’t Play That House of Indefinite Incarceration……….

Because all of you assholes can make money off a murdering twat no matter what bullshit comes out of her mouth and I know there will be fiftyfivebillion requests, I have decided to shut all you bitches down before you even get started.

In case any of you forgot, the bitch has already been convicted of first degree murder.

She is a complete narcissist who is very good at manipulating the simple minded. She is actually getting these idiots to sell things for her. She even tried to get a documentary filmed about her but I shut that shit down.

I understand that television stations need to make some cheddar, but not on my watch. Bitch had lied long enough and I am sick and tired of listening to her bullshit. Therefore, if you haven’t already figured it out, any requests for interviews with this sadistic bitch will be DENIED.

Actual Press release below.

Arias no media

Oh Sheriff Joe. Your immense annoyance makes me weep with joy. I think I love you Sheriff Joe. I think we all do.

Oh, and while we don’t get cameras, the lovely and talented Jen from Trial Diaries is able to tweet so we can at least sort of know what’s going on.

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